Fic: homunculus fic - untilted
Alphonse's expression was too calm. He was a man that had accepted his fate, and what was to come of him - whatever that may be. Edward couldn't really tell why that angered him so much, but it was enough for the blond that he was angry. "Don't you get it?" Ed demanded, pointing the knife like an accusing finger. "Will you ever understand?"
The younger Elric remained unmoved, gaze steady as he remained focused on his brother's face. "No, I do." He answered quietly, a slow smile spreading across his features as if years of confusion finally - finally - made sense. "You want your freedom." His tone was so relaxed it only fueled the fire in Edward's mind, as he held his arms out away from his body and turned both hands palm-side up. "Go ahead, take it."
Golden eyes narrowed suspiciously, but Ed didn't speak. At least, not until Al lowered his arms back to his sides. "I can't be rid of you. You're in my mind, in my memories- I won't be happy just walking out of your life, Alphonse. Are you so quick to comply with my wants, when all that I want is your death?" The blond stepped forward, eyelids drooping lazily as he regarded the knife for a moment, before tawny eyes lifted once more. "Do you even realize that you commit the same sin, over and over again?"
He smiled then, grip tightening on the hilt of the knife in his hand. "Roy asked me if all homunculi have the same power when they're reborn. You see, he wanted reassurance, I think, that I wasn't Pride. If I was, wouldn't the mark that labeled me be on my eye? Wouldn't... I have the same ability... Would I be the same?" The creature was practically leering now, golden eyebrows raised. "Can the sin itself hold a grudge?"
The color had drained from Alphonse's face, somewhere in the middle of the Edward's monologue. The homunculus took note of this and laughed. "You're too damn lazy to move forward, you can't stand on your own. Did you listen to a single thing your brother said over those years? Don't you realize that it's the being you create that pays for your sin?" Anger had started to edge its way into the homunculus' tone as he spoke, so he paused to compose himself, before continuing.
"It is your laziness; you're unwilling to work, to move on, and because of that- you commit sloth, every time. I have your brother's memories, though, your brother's intelligence. I am not so naive to think that maybe I could be Edward Elric. I know better than she did, and that's why I will always hate you for creating me."
The strangled whimper that escaped the human's throat made the blond flinch. "she rebelled against the idea of ever loving you, of being a real mother- and I would give anything to be the brother that you want... but I know that I can't. I can't do what he did - I can't put you first! He was so selfless, so perfect, and I can't be that." His expression had turned to an ironic smirk, then, "I can't smother my love for Roy and pretend it doesn't exist, to keep you first in my priorities-"
"I .... Never asked you to do that." Alphonse murmured, hands balling into fists at his sides. "Be happy with the General, I won't stop you. I'd never ask that of you, I want you to be happy. You don't have to be Ed, think of him more like a namesake, please-"
Golden eyes blinked slowly, as Edward tried to find the catch in those words. "I can't be him." He whispered softly, "So the only way I can be happy is if you, or I, am dead." This time the homunculus ignored the stifled gasp that the younger Elric emitted, watching him steadily. "Do you have it in you, to kill me?" Ed held the knife out, turning the blade to face himself and nodded in his creator's direction. "Take it."
When Al hesitated, the blond sighed softly and let it drop from his grip, watching sullenly as it clattered to the floor. "Everyone here has become such a ... family to me." He continued, eyes shifting to the open window beside him. "I just want you all to be happy," The homunculus murmured with a smirk. "Roy may be content with me, and Winry has accepted his death... but I'm incapable of making everyone happy. Roy won't do it, I've already asked him. There's no one else to ask, Al."
The silver-hazel eyes that had always fascinated the homunculus widened at this. Edward wanted him to use him to bring his brother back? Was that even possible? "You... Called me Al." The younger Elric murmured, instead of directly answering the request. The blond didn't respond though, simply continued to stare at the man who'd created him and patiently wait for his answer. Alphonse was staring at the knife on the floor now, as if it held the answer to all of his questions, with a barely audible inquiry. "Can it... Actually be done?"
That was all the homunculus needed to hear. He grinned, large and toothy, just like Ed used to. "He had a theory... If the soul can be brought back at all, it'll work. If not- as long as you have a homunculus to sacrifice..... No harm will come to you, at least."
"It could kill you." Alphonse answered doubtfully, frowning slightly as the creature's eager response to throwing his own life away.
Edward's demeanor changed then, deflating sulkily, as he eyed the younger Elric. "Weren't you listening? It will kill me. The only question, really, is whether or not it will bring him back."
Al shook his head, avoiding the creature's gaze. He looked worn out, too tired for something that wasn't supposed to age. "I... Can't." The human murmured, straightening his back as if it would help him hold his ground. "I won't kill you just for the slight chance that it might bring my brother back, I just can't do that. You've become a part of this family now, and no one would- I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, even if it did bring my brother back."
The blond sighed, bending down to retrieve the knife he'd dropped earlier and turned to leave the room. "You can forgive yourself for this half-life you've cursed me with?" He questioned, trying one last desperate tactic before giving up, for now, at least. "I'll never be happy, I'd be better off dead. Did you think of that?"
Alphonse only smiled sadly and shook his head. "That's where you're wrong, Edward. No one's better off dead."