Weirder Things [One-shot]
Title: Weirder Things
Genre: Humor, PWP(?), AU
Pairings: KyuJong/HyunJoong, KyuJong/YoungSaeng, HyunJoong/YoungSaeng
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Strange things happen to delivery men. Or so in the testimony of one Kim KyuJong.
[A/N: Inspired while watching this… and listening to ‘SPICE’ by Kagamine Len. Don’t ask. I don’t really know myself…]
KyuJong had accepted it as a fact of life that strange things happened to him. It was written into his genes, soaked into his fiber of being. And it was just one of those things when you were a delivery guy.
But this… this was just beyond strange.
It all started one innocent day like any other. KyuJong traipsed off on duty, getting deliveries and making them, wondering what odd thing would happen today. Would he get to see a thousand cats running after a poor dog? Or would he see someone riding a motorized wheelchair down the highway? Or perhaps he’d be accosted by a flash mob again?
Or perhaps he’d have someone kiss him senseless against the doorpost a few seconds after that person answered the door to his knock.
Wait. What?
There was a pause as the other person pulled back and KyuJong sensed deep brown eyes burning against his own. He stared back, mouth probably hanging open, and from the testimony of his friends, probably looking as shocked and bewildered as he felt. He wondered for a moment if this was some sort of joke - which wouldn’t be too startling. Weirder things had happened.
The joke thing didn’t cover how the person, eyes darkening again as he stared too long at what KyuJong thought were his lips, dived back in again. And it certainly didn’t explain how KyuJong was so out of it, he responded, tongue wrestling, lips mashing.
Minutes later, after they’d pulled apart, panting, and KyuJong somewhat remembered his name and that, hey, he was a delivery guy and he’d just kissed one of his clients, the man who had kissed him patted him on the shoulder and smirked.
“Here’s the address and recipient. Go deliver it.”
KyuJong blinked at the paper in his hand and gaped intelligently at the smirking, and admittedly hot man dressed in nothing put a pair of skinny jeans.
“The kiss.” The man said in patient explanation. “That’s what I want you to deliver. Thanks in advance…” The man squinted at his name-tag. “…Kim KyuJong-sshi.”
KyuJong watched, unblinking, as the man waltzed back into the door. It took him a while to turn red, realizing that his thought process for those few minutes after ran along those lines of “what the fuck?” and “man, that ass is hot.”
No. He did not just think that.
The door opened again and the man’s head poked out with a sheepish smile. “Oh yeah. I forgot. Say it’s from HyunJoong.”
The door closed again, but not before KyuJong got a glimpse of tight rear buns encased in really sinful looking denim.
Crap. He really had thought that.
~*~
“Uh… delivery for Heo YoungSaeng-sshi from a HyunJoong-sshi?”
“Yeah. That’s me.” A rather feminine looking man stepped out of the cubicle they had, thankfully, correctly directed him to. “HyunJoong sent me something?”
“Hmm? Ah, yeah. Here. Sign here please…” KyuJong pulled out the delivery sheet a little hesitantly.
“Okay…” the man named YoungSaeng took the pen from KyuJong, and KyuJong tried not to think about the proximity of the other man as he signed the paper, or how smart he looked in that black suit of his, and oh God, was he really going to do this?
“There.” YoungSaeng straightened up after signing the paper, passing it back to KyuJong. “Now where’s the package?”
KyuJong was seriously considering running for the hills then, but then, he remembered that he was a professional delivery man, and his record was extremely spotless, and he really needed this job and what the heck, the man looks hot, weird things always happen to me, let’s just go along with this.
So he leaned up, and pressed hesitant lips against a startled YoungSaeng and gave him an admittedly sloppy kiss.
What he wasn’t prepared for however, was that, after a few awkward seconds, YoungSaeng began to kiss back.
It was one of those times that KyuJong thanked the heavens for all the weirdness that happened to him, because it was definitely weird that there was no one else in the office at that moment. But as hot as this was, he definitely didn’t need a whole crowd of people seeing him wrestling against a stranger as the said man pushed him against the photocopier.
Two broken cups, one overturned chair, and one furiously scanning copier machine later, KyuJong finally broke what felt like the marathon kiss for the century and stared at an equally panting, but much more amused, YoungSaeng’s eyes.
“Am I right to guess that HyunJoong sent that kiss to me?”
KyuJong could only nod mutely.
“Hmm… you kiss better than he does.”
It was then that KyuJong swallowed, quickly bowed, and ran from the office with as much dignity he could master.
He missed the way YoungSaeng’s lips curled as he reached for his phone, flicking it open with a calculative rub of his chin.
“Hello, HyunJoong-ah?”
~*~
KyuJong seriously didn’t know what he was doing here again.
Well, actually he did. It was special request thing that he couldn’t refuse and his boss had glared at him until he took it. And there was also this curiosity as to what-
No, he really didn’t want to admit that last reason.
Still, he stepped apprehensively up to the door and pressed the doorbell with a shaky finger. Telling himself that nothing they dealt him could be weirder than what he’d already done before.
And when the door opened and YoungSaeng pulled him inside, he couldn’t help but think how wrong he had been.
~*~
KyuJong lay panting on the ground, extremely sore, yet feeling like he’d been to seventh heaven and back. He stared with glazed eyes at YoungSaeng, who was cleaning himself up, picking up pieces of his clothing off the floor.
“Right, now.” KyuJong had to blink a few times before he got his hazed-filled eyes to focus on YoungSaeng. “I want you to deliver that to HyunJoong.”
“…Where is he?” KyuJong wanted to smack his head on the wall. Or see a shrink for masochism.
The smirk on YoungSaeng’s lips was like arsenic and black cherries.
“Oh… in the next room.”
~*~
Genre: Humor, PWP(?), AU
Pairings: KyuJong/HyunJoong, KyuJong/YoungSaeng, HyunJoong/YoungSaeng
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Strange things happen to delivery men. Or so in the testimony of one Kim KyuJong.
[A/N: Inspired while watching this… and listening to ‘SPICE’ by Kagamine Len. Don’t ask. I don’t really know myself…]
KyuJong had accepted it as a fact of life that strange things happened to him. It was written into his genes, soaked into his fiber of being. And it was just one of those things when you were a delivery guy.
But this… this was just beyond strange.
It all started one innocent day like any other. KyuJong traipsed off on duty, getting deliveries and making them, wondering what odd thing would happen today. Would he get to see a thousand cats running after a poor dog? Or would he see someone riding a motorized wheelchair down the highway? Or perhaps he’d be accosted by a flash mob again?
Or perhaps he’d have someone kiss him senseless against the doorpost a few seconds after that person answered the door to his knock.
Wait. What?
There was a pause as the other person pulled back and KyuJong sensed deep brown eyes burning against his own. He stared back, mouth probably hanging open, and from the testimony of his friends, probably looking as shocked and bewildered as he felt. He wondered for a moment if this was some sort of joke - which wouldn’t be too startling. Weirder things had happened.
The joke thing didn’t cover how the person, eyes darkening again as he stared too long at what KyuJong thought were his lips, dived back in again. And it certainly didn’t explain how KyuJong was so out of it, he responded, tongue wrestling, lips mashing.
Minutes later, after they’d pulled apart, panting, and KyuJong somewhat remembered his name and that, hey, he was a delivery guy and he’d just kissed one of his clients, the man who had kissed him patted him on the shoulder and smirked.
“Here’s the address and recipient. Go deliver it.”
KyuJong blinked at the paper in his hand and gaped intelligently at the smirking, and admittedly hot man dressed in nothing put a pair of skinny jeans.
“The kiss.” The man said in patient explanation. “That’s what I want you to deliver. Thanks in advance…” The man squinted at his name-tag. “…Kim KyuJong-sshi.”
KyuJong watched, unblinking, as the man waltzed back into the door. It took him a while to turn red, realizing that his thought process for those few minutes after ran along those lines of “what the fuck?” and “man, that ass is hot.”
No. He did not just think that.
The door opened again and the man’s head poked out with a sheepish smile. “Oh yeah. I forgot. Say it’s from HyunJoong.”
The door closed again, but not before KyuJong got a glimpse of tight rear buns encased in really sinful looking denim.
Crap. He really had thought that.
~*~
“Uh… delivery for Heo YoungSaeng-sshi from a HyunJoong-sshi?”
“Yeah. That’s me.” A rather feminine looking man stepped out of the cubicle they had, thankfully, correctly directed him to. “HyunJoong sent me something?”
“Hmm? Ah, yeah. Here. Sign here please…” KyuJong pulled out the delivery sheet a little hesitantly.
“Okay…” the man named YoungSaeng took the pen from KyuJong, and KyuJong tried not to think about the proximity of the other man as he signed the paper, or how smart he looked in that black suit of his, and oh God, was he really going to do this?
“There.” YoungSaeng straightened up after signing the paper, passing it back to KyuJong. “Now where’s the package?”
KyuJong was seriously considering running for the hills then, but then, he remembered that he was a professional delivery man, and his record was extremely spotless, and he really needed this job and what the heck, the man looks hot, weird things always happen to me, let’s just go along with this.
So he leaned up, and pressed hesitant lips against a startled YoungSaeng and gave him an admittedly sloppy kiss.
What he wasn’t prepared for however, was that, after a few awkward seconds, YoungSaeng began to kiss back.
It was one of those times that KyuJong thanked the heavens for all the weirdness that happened to him, because it was definitely weird that there was no one else in the office at that moment. But as hot as this was, he definitely didn’t need a whole crowd of people seeing him wrestling against a stranger as the said man pushed him against the photocopier.
Two broken cups, one overturned chair, and one furiously scanning copier machine later, KyuJong finally broke what felt like the marathon kiss for the century and stared at an equally panting, but much more amused, YoungSaeng’s eyes.
“Am I right to guess that HyunJoong sent that kiss to me?”
KyuJong could only nod mutely.
“Hmm… you kiss better than he does.”
It was then that KyuJong swallowed, quickly bowed, and ran from the office with as much dignity he could master.
He missed the way YoungSaeng’s lips curled as he reached for his phone, flicking it open with a calculative rub of his chin.
“Hello, HyunJoong-ah?”
~*~
KyuJong seriously didn’t know what he was doing here again.
Well, actually he did. It was special request thing that he couldn’t refuse and his boss had glared at him until he took it. And there was also this curiosity as to what-
No, he really didn’t want to admit that last reason.
Still, he stepped apprehensively up to the door and pressed the doorbell with a shaky finger. Telling himself that nothing they dealt him could be weirder than what he’d already done before.
And when the door opened and YoungSaeng pulled him inside, he couldn’t help but think how wrong he had been.
~*~
KyuJong lay panting on the ground, extremely sore, yet feeling like he’d been to seventh heaven and back. He stared with glazed eyes at YoungSaeng, who was cleaning himself up, picking up pieces of his clothing off the floor.
“Right, now.” KyuJong had to blink a few times before he got his hazed-filled eyes to focus on YoungSaeng. “I want you to deliver that to HyunJoong.”
“…Where is he?” KyuJong wanted to smack his head on the wall. Or see a shrink for masochism.
The smirk on YoungSaeng’s lips was like arsenic and black cherries.
“Oh… in the next room.”
~*~