A series of you and me [CHAPTER 21]
Title: A series of you and me
Chapters: 21/?
Genre: Angst. Romance. Smut.
Warnings: Angst.
Ratings: PG-13 to R
Pairings: AoixUruha - ReitaxRuki (?)
Disclaimer: I only own my imagination ♪
Synopsis: Kouyou finds his life ruled by the glimpses of him he can see.
Comments: For the few support received, thank you so much :) I'm happy that you like it.
Takanori was slumped on the bar, desperate about the fact Akira had spent the last hour making cocktails for customers. Well, it was his job after all. But usually, Akira would stick around Takanori and talk to him to feel less lonely. And so, tonight, Takanori was drinking his raspberry mojito with no real company other than his smartphone.
He had browsed through all of his applications twice already and knew that the night promised to be long and boring.
The remaining hope had the name of Yuu Shiroyama and he was supposed to drop by after he was done with his work, but the dark haired had assured Takanori that it wouldn't be absolutely sure since he had so much delay because of his absence.
And that pink haired waitress couldn't stop smiling and laughing with Akira, which added anger and anxiety to the poor hairdresser.
- Akira?
The blond bartender turned around and looked at Takanori, curious:
- What?
- May I talk with you? In private?
Akira, called by a customer quickly replied:
- Sorry I'm a bit busy now! Later!
He ran off to take the man's order and Takanori drank bottoms up his glass, pushing his empty glass away. He quickly spotted Yuu who was coming into his direction and almost hugged him with desperation:
- God bless you for coming tonight!
Yuu laughed, thrilled by the other's reaction. They had the sort of relation friends were supposed to have. There were no more politeness between them. Just...Warmth, sympathy.
- What the hell is going on?
Takanori pouted like a child:
- That cruel man has been ignoring me until now.
Yuu looked into the direction Takanori was showing:
- Akira? Your double?
Takanori's eyes widened:
- Double?
Yuu laughed:
- Of course. You guys are always sticked to each other it's hard to define you without one another.
Takanori hit his head against the counter:
- Shit, shit, shit.
Yuu made him sit up straight again, worried:
- Taka?
- Is it that obvious?
- You two dating?
Takanori looked like he would be crying anytime.
- I'm waiting for this as much as Ben & Jerry's ice cream new flavour.
The music producer chuckled:
- Did you guys even talk? Are there any obvious sign that Akira shares the feeling?
Takanori bit his lower lip, thoughtful:
- Hm...Well...I don't know. From his side I feel like it's more friendship than anything else. Hence my state tonight. I've decided to confess but...He's weird since the other day and keeps his distance. Maybe he figured it out and doesn't want to hurt me by turning me down. I'd understand. Who would want me seriously?
Takanori sighed and Yuu felt uneasy: he wasn't the best to sort out this kind of situation but knew the pain of an unrequited love enough to understand the hairdresser's state.
- Taka...There are no better weapon than honesty in these kind of battles.
- Honesty my ass. What need of honesty if I hurt the other? Why do I have to be selfish and tell him all with the hope he won't hate me for this? It's a burden on his shoulders that I'll put! Honesty will be a burden. Sometimes it's better to keep lies, to protect some saint illusion that everything's alright.
- Is it fake optimism from you Taka?
The hairdresser laughed, drunk:
- No, it's being realistic. If you don't mind me, I'll be dancing now.
Takanori left the dark haired alone, his body slowly moving along with the beat on hiw way to the dancefloor.
Although he followed him with his eyes, Yuu had to glance at his side, disturbed by a customer who had bumped into him while ordering a beer. There was something familiar in the tone that made his head turn quickly, his heart drumming, his legs jelly.
Blond hair.
Long and toned arms.
Smoky eyes.
Cherry lips.
Creamy skin.
Honey voice.
Confused, dazed, Yuu thought that he would be going insane anytime so he grabbed the man's arm and his heart skipped a beat at the sight. The man looked back at him, smiling.
There was a mental realisation about the reason that drew him to like Kouyou. They shared few features...
- Uruha.
His voice trembled a tiny bit and his grip around the warm skin tightened.
- Uruha.
He repeated the name several times, as to firmly make this moment real, as to hold onto it with the fear it will simply vanish.
- Uruha. Uruha.
Finally, a laugh. That sweet laugh he missed.
- I know my name honey.
Yuu thought he was going crazy.
- Jesus, why are you here? Where have you been? All this time? Why did you fucking leave me like a fucking cigarette butt in a puddle?
Uruha stared, quiet, at the display of pain on Yuu's beautiful face.
- I kept missing the burning, the feel of your lips around me, the way you'd be holding me. You consumed me until the very end and fucking threw me away. Why are you here?
Yuu's fingers tightened:
- Dear God, I swear, I'm somewhat happy to see you but, do you even know how it feels?
Uruha wasn't up to keep his seductive attire, his little playful voice. So he just replied, simply:
- I know how it feels. Because I've been sleeping all this time inside the real me. That real me who's broken and lonely and longed for you. I thought it would be nice to finally be honest with you.
Yuu frowned, unsettled and Uruha carried on:
- Since I care so much for you.
- How can you say you care for me?!!
The yelling, even with the music around, worried Akira who came rushing toward them:
- Yuu, are you alright?
- No!
Akira insisted:
- Yuu can you go out by yourself? My boss will call the security if you keep shouting...And they won't be tender with you.
Uruha grabbed Yuu's arm and dragged him out of the club. The fresh air of this month of february bit them but their minds were too warmed up by their talk, now able to keep going.
- You...
Yuu didn't finish his sentence and leaned against the nearest wall, exhausted by the feelings he had bottled up for so long, for this man here.
- I'm sorry.
- Being sorry is not enough and won't cover up for the pain you inflicted me!
Uruha stood in front of him, his arms crossed:
- Why are you so angry? I'm here now, we can start something together now, for all the time missed and wasted...I'll make you happy Yuu.
The dark haired chuckled nervously:
- Are you serious? You think you can come back and by a simple snap make me yours again? Huh?
Uruha smiled:
- If not, why would I be here?
The blond came closer, catching the hems of Yuu's shirt between his gracious fingers and pulled gently until Yuu's mouth was near his:
- I missed you.
The whisper sent shivers down Yuu's spine.
When Uruha thought he'd feel Yuu's lips on his, he opened his eyes to see that the other had turned his head away.
- I missed you for so long I don't even know why. We didn't date. We fucked each other and end of the story.
Uruha's hands played on Yuu's strong arms, he grinned:
- You love me...That's why.
- Loved you. Loved.
Uruha pouted:
- Such a mean thing to say.
Yuu sighed, mad:
- Wasn't it cruel to leave me behind for a fucking year?
- I had my reasons Yuu.
Yuu looked into his eyes, determined:
- I have now mines.
Uruha's brows creased:
- Replaced me already? That longing wasn't this strong I see...
Yuu pinned Uruha against the wall, quite agressively and the blonde gasped.
- Shut the fuck up!
He stayed quiet for long seconds and when Uruha heard few weird sounds he raised up a hand to touch his cheek and felt guilty to feel tears.
- I'm sorry. I...
Uruha dried his cheeks, carefully and Yuu tried again to talk:
- I can't let him be. He needs me. If I'm not here, who would be? I missed mom, back then, I missed her strongly and I'm this fragile now because I had no one...And he makes me stronger ok? We need each other to feel alright. So Uruha please, don't stay in my life now.
Uruha began crying, too.
- A year ago, if I could have made that choice, I'd have kept you, it's true. But today, I need you out of my life. If this isn't meant to be, you'll cross my path once again, but you and me, we were just a fuck. We weren't in love. I thought I loved you but, it's him that I know, him that I long for...I love him and, I don't love you anymore Uruha.
Yuu walked away in the empty streets, yet Uruha followed him like a lost puppy and when Yuu felt a silhouette behind his back, in front of his door, he almost had a heart attack:
- Why are you here?! Fuck you scared me!
The dark haired was whispering like a mad man and it made Uruha laugh:
- I want to stay with you tonight.
Yuu opened the door, his face giving the other a cold mask:
- I don't want you here. It brings back bad memories.
Uruha came in anyway, pushing the other out of the way and settled on the couch with a satisfied sigh. The dark haired watched, the heavy make up on his face that sublimated his almond eyes, the toned thighs under the leather pants, he watched and remembered how much he had tormented himself for the past months just to see him again.
And the man was now in his living room, an invitation to end it up in bed printed on his sinful lips, yet all Yuu could do was to stare and wonder.
- Having your head up in the moon Yuu?
The other scratched his head, tired and disappeared in the kitchen. When he came back, he was carrying two bottles of beer and offered one to the blond who gladly accepted it.
They sat in silence for what seemed like an hour to Yuu until finally Uruha, once again, broke it:
- How is he?
Yuu at first was surprised by the direct question and in the end, let his heart speak:
- When I first met him he was punishing himself with every sin possible. Drugs and sex was his only solace. I saved him from his last sin. I could then taste him some rare nights and one day he stopped coming and began my own despair. I looked for him everywhere like I looked for you Uruha. But...Do you know what was the funniest thing in this story?
Uruha shook his head, attentive.
- Every fucking morning, I was passing by a coffee shop. He works in this goddamn coffee shop and every morning I didn't know that I was so close to him.
Uruha smiled:
- How did you confess?
Yuu looked at Uruha:
- I haven't properly confessed to tell the truth. He had issues with his mother, I tried to help him with this and I came back here because I couldn't stay away from work for too long. I wanted to confess...But it wasn't the right time at all. And now, I fear that he might not come back to me.
Uruha frowned, curious:
- Why?
When Yuu looked into his eyes once more, Uruha felt his heart breaking:
- Because no one comes back to me.
Uruha grabbed his hand, worried:
- I came back for you.
Yuu laughed:
- You're too late Uruha. To the point of no return.
The blond stayed quiet.
- If it fails with him too, I think I'm done loving.
Uruha rested his head against Yuu's shoulder:
- I'll be here...
- I believed in you for ten long months. You deceived me all along, so don't tell sweet lies out of pity Uruha. If you did care for me, you'd have been by my side all this time. No matter the reasons.
Uruha kissed Yuu's shoulder, gently:
- You can't ask from someone to forget their own being for your sake.
- I never said so.
- You don't try to understand my reasons.
Yuu played with Uruha's hands:
- What are they?
Uruha came closer, his eyes locked with Yuu's:
- Your happiness.
And as Yuu didn't say a word, he continued:
- For the sake of your happiness, I stayed away.
Yuu felt like he would cry:
- You were my happiness.
Uruha kissed his cheek:
- You believed I was without even knowing what kind of darkness I was living with, inside.
- I could have helped you!
Uruha shook his head, holding Yuu's face:
- No. What helped me was being out of the grip of your unbearable love. At that time, I couldn't love you.
Yuu swallowed his tears:
- Now, can you?
Uruha smiled sadly:
- Not when you think of someone else while I'm with you.
Yuu nodded, overwhelmed.
- He's like you. He needs to be loved to finally love himself.
Uruha laughed:
- But don't they say you have to love yourself first?
Yuu shook his head:
- You need to hear everything little thing that the other loves in you. You need to discover every little detail that you can't see yourself. You need to see yourself through someone else's eyes to start loving yourself, too. That's why, he, who couldn't experience his mother's love but hate, hated himself so much in the end. I hope that the love I'll give him will cure his low self esteem, in some way.
Uruha caressed Yuu's cheek lovingly:
- We need more people like you in this world. We clumsily love with the hope it will be enough, yet, all we do goes to waste. We break up and torment ourselves with memories.
Yuu kissed Uruha's lips out of the blue.
- I could have helped you.
Uruha looked like he was about to cry:
- But you must help this guy Yuu. I'm in the past, but he's the one in the present. And he needs you.
Yuu bit his lips, nervously.
- Promise me something, will you?
- What?
- Promise me Yuu, that you will save this man with your love. Save him.
They held each other's little finger and Yuu sweared:
- I will save him.
Uruha nodded happily:
- Good.
They talked all night long, fell asleep in each other's arms in the morning but when Yuu opened his eyes around noon, Uruha had vanished, once more. Was left a paper with the words "You define my eternity."
Yuu stared at the sentence, unable to understand what Uruha had meant.
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It's a shame I let this story sleep for so long! Here it is awake again for your own little pleasure. I'm like pretty sure this chapter will confuse you, it's ok, that's what I want haha. Any questions below ♥ And fuck typos, I'm so tired I'm going straight to bed!