A series of you and me [CHAPTER 22]
Title: A series of you and me
Chapters: 22/?
Genre: Angst. Romance. Smut.
Warnings: Angst.
Ratings: PG-13 to R
Pairings: AoixUruha - ReitaxRuki (?)
Disclaimer: I only own my imagination ♪
Synopsis: Kouyou finds his life ruled by the glimpses of him he can see.
Comments: 2 updates within 3 days, spoiling you!
Takanori was listening to that old customer who always wanted a brushing a la Jane Fonda. And Takanori had given up all attempt of his memory to recall the particular stylish way the american actress would do her hair. So he had sticked to the wall next to a mirror a picture of her and everytime that woman was coming, Takanori knew that he had to style her hair after Jane Fonda.
He had asked Akira if he will be working that night and the bartender had said that he would. Takanori thought that it was a chance to talk to him, after all, he was the one who kept the other company sometimes all night long.
He was thinking about what he should tell Akira when the door of his salon was pushed open.
Takanori had to blink twice to realise who was standing here, removing his sunglasses like some rock star.
- Kou!
The other smiled warmly and came closer to Takanori, greeting the Jane Fonda wannabe first, bowing politely. She slightly bowed her head down and smiled happily, impressed by the man's charism.
- What are you doing here? I thought you would be staying for another day or two!
Kouyou grabbed a stool and sat next to the woman, while Takanori continued to do her hair.
- I'm here to tell Sakai about my upcoming return to the coffee shop starting monday.
Takanori frowned:
- Does it mean you'll go back to Kanagawa until that?
Kouyou nodded and the hairdresser seemed thoughtful for a moment.
- Did you tell Yuu you were here?
Kouyou shook his head, a bit embarassed to hear the man's name while a customer was around.
- He doesn't need to know. I'll be back to Kanagawa tonight so...
Takanori chewed on his below lip as a strand of hair didn't want to be nicely fixated and listened to Kouyou who spoke again:
- I'm here because I need a little help from you.
The hairdresser replied:
- Yup, you told me over the phone, what is it? As long as you don't ask me to murder someone I'm ok.
Kouyou and the Jane Fonda fangirl laughed together.
- No, no, silly Taka, I have no one to murder anyway. Well it's...Like a need to change.
Takanori's eyebrows raised:
- What do you mean exactly?
- I'd like to dye my hair. Or more like, bleaching it.
Takanori's jaws dropped and he stared at his friend, astonished:
- Did I hear that well?
- He said he wanted to have his hair bleached.
Takanori shook his hand for the woman looking at him in the mirror:
- Honey I'm not stupid but, Kouyou! Why would you?
The other felt that his friend was sceptic about it, so he justified himself:
- I don't know, I'd like to try it out again. I used to bleach my hair and I miss the feeling somehow, of a blonde me.
- Kouyou don't take it bad but, hu, you absolutely don't have the right style for blond hair.
Kouyou crossed his legs, annoyed:
- Oh sorry Mr Lagerfeld. I mistook you for Jean-Paul Gaultier.
Takanori grimaced:
- I'm a hairdresser!
Kouyou sulked:
- So you should at least remember it at the right time.
- It was just an advice, don't get me wrong. But there will be too many blondes in our little group of friends after that.
Kouyou laughed:
- There's still Yuu to save it all.
Out of the blue, Takanori forgot the salon, the customer listening:
- Do you miss him?
Kouyou looked away, not at ease with the sparkling eyes of the customer.
- Don't pay attention to me boys! My brother's got the same kind of interest since he's 16, he's now 54 and nothing has changed.
Kouyou smiled to the woman, relieved. Takanori felt some affection growing for the woman within.
- Of course I do.
The hairdresser sighed:
- Then, when are you going to do something about it? Don't tell me that you won't reward him for helping you out about your mother...It would be such a waste.
Kouyou stayed quiet and Takanori finished few retouches on the hairstyle with a satisfied expression. When he was done, the woman thanked him deeply and before she paid, she said to Kouyou who was still on his stool:
- Gorgeous, you need to ask yourself a simple question about this Yuu: do you imagine yourself growing old by his side? That's how I knew he would be my husband. 32 years later, he still is.
She bowed politely and left the salon, humming a Marilyn Monroe's song.
Kouyou kept looking at the door, day dreaming and asked:
- It's not like men can marry each other here.
Takanori cleaned quickly and installed Kouyou on a stool to start the bleaching. He had closed the place so he could stay in peace with his friend. Kouyou could feel his head burning, that was the only thing he didn't miss in the process.
- Do you want me to turn on the fan to refresh your head?
Kouyou said no with a shake of hand, watching his face with distance in the mirror.
- You actually look better without glasses on. I'd say hotter but I don't want you to misunderstand.
Takanori laughed after he spoke and Kouyou smiled:
- I know that you have only eyes for Akira. Tell me, what happened the other day?
Takanori seemed embarassed but the intimate atmosphere between them convinced him to be honest:
- Well, after movies we ended up sleeping in the same bed...And I kinda felt too excited in the morning. I was able to hide it but when I had the chance to, I intended to make myself more comfortable while Akira was gone for a shower. He left without a warning so I guess he saw me or something...Until that, he completely avoids me.
Kouyou didn't laugh and it bewildered Takanori:
- You aren't making fun of me. Any fever? Are you sure everything's ok?
Kouyou smiled:
- Because you were caught jerking off while fantasizing about your best friend, I should laugh? Just no.
Takanori seemed so confused that Kouyou continued:
- I know too well how it is to bear with an unrequited love. This isn't funny.
The hairdresser smiled, pleased by his friend's saying and replied:
- You know Kou, I can't consider Akira my best friend anymore. Because obviously, I can't tell him everything...Even not that I have a crush on him. But, I can tell you how ashamed I was for masturbating while I was thinking about him. And it makes you my best friend.
Kouyou turned around on his stool, stood up and hugged Takanori quickly. He then repositionned himself on the stool, facing the mirror again and grinned at Takanori who looked abashed:
- I've never had a best friend before.
He posed, and stared into Takanori's eyes:
- And about Akira, you should tell him. Don't beat around the bush any further. Face him. Don't hold back for the sake of your friendship because, from your side, there's no friendship anymore.
Takanori didn't say a word until later when finally his mind focused on someone else than Akira. He had been so hurt in the past that he the amount of fear he was holding in within his heart would prevent him to sleep at night and to eat during daytime. Takanori didn't want to lose someone he cared for anymore and everytime the anxiety would eat him from the inside, he would think of that black piano in his living room.
When he was drying Kouyou's hair, he realised there was the need to be completely honest with the other, so he simply stated:
- Kou, one day, I'll tell you something about myself.
Kouyou nodded, thoughtful. He wondered if he should also tell something to Takanori about himself. That he was Uruha, that he had fell in love with Yuu, that he settled in Tokyo, in this street, found a job at the coffee shop to be closer to Yuu. To keep an eye on him, to love him from afar. And that tonight, he'd be Uruha once more, one last time. That tonight would help him realise something, whether he should be loved as himself or forget it all and live a lie under Uruha. Uruha would live or die after tonight.
- Oh holy mother of Buddha if she even existed! Kouyou! You're drop dead gorgeous!
Kouyou looked at his reflection, troubled. Because it wasn't himself. It was Uruha who was trying to erase the sad and lonely Kouyou. Was missing the heavy make up and outrageous clothes.
- You should consider staying blonde, Yuu will just pass out from a powerful boner!
He laughed and Kouyou stared at the ground, unable to raise his eyes anymore.
Do I have fucking mental problems? It's just a different hair color, I still am myself deep inside. I've always been. Uruha is just a persona I invented to pretend happiness.
He looked at himself again, put his glasses on and finally realised that Kouyou was Uruha. Uruha was Kouyou. No matter the clothes, the make-up, the hair color, he had always been the same person, putting on an act to be accepted, used, loved.
- I'm not sure.
- Kouyou! You should join us tonight! I'll meet up with Yuu at the Toxic around 9! You can still go back to Kanagawa later! Come on! Yuu is going to be so surprised to see you like this!
There...My opportunity.
- No thank you. I still need a little time away from Tokyo. I need to figure out if I can move on or stay stuck in the same old maze.
Takanori nodded, a bit worried:
- Tell me Kou, when you're back, give me a call? Let's hang out together again.
Kouyou agreed, glad that he had Takanori in his life, as annoying and adorable he could be.
A quick stop to his place and Kouyou found back his past. A cardboard box full of provocative clothes, short and see-through tops, tons of make-up, lipsticks, even high heels. His plan tonight wasn't to be too visible. So he carefully picked leather pants, a white tank top and black blazer. He then hung a black rosary around his neck, few bracelets with skulls, studs and crosses and went for a heavy make up.
He applied black eyeshadow, eye liner and black lashes. He finished with a glossy cherry lipstick and found himself quite stunning. In a matter of seconds, this thought terrified him.
I can't go back to you. You're not the real me. You're not real, you're superficial.
He closed his eyes, unable to keep looking at his reflection in the mirror of his bathroom and he said, loudly, to himself:
- Do I fucking need medical help?
He left around 9 and found a spot at the Toxic near the bar, sheltered from curious eyes. As usual, he was watching Yuu from a distance and when finally Takanori walked away, Kouyou, disguised as Uruha, voluntarily bumped into Yuu's arm while ordering a beer.
There began their reunion.
"Maybe you can make an eternity of my forever."
Kouyou remembered, the words said after an intense orgasm in the toilets of a club, one night in june. He remembered the way Yuu cherished him although they were strangers, the way he cared to protect him and please him in every possible way. He remembered that, on that particular night, he had wanted to end his life several times and Yuu had appeared, a ray of light, a promise of better tomorrows, of faith in the future, of sparkles of hope suddenly exploding in his heart.
Yuu had been that important.
With Yuu, Kouyou was convinced that forever wasn't a lie anymore.
Yuu would be an eternity of forevers.
Yuu would define him, entirely.
And it was early in the morning now. Yuu was asleep in his arms, on the couch and Uruha had kept him company all night long. Not even once the dark haired expressed any desire for Uruha. Only small and gentle kisses on the lips and affection through hugs. From that love which consumed Yuu's every nights, remained a great and deep affection blowed up by the love he was holding in for Kouyou Takashima.
"I can never forget you Uruha. But there's someone I want to remember more than you."
Kouyou smiled, drawing the features of Yuu's face while this one was asleep.
- As long as you remember me, Yuu, I don't need any forever, any eternity.
Kouyou didn't want to be here when Yuu would wake up.
"Forever is just few minutes to me" was the first statement made to Yuu. He had dreamt of Yuu making an eternity of his forevers. And now, after that night, Kouyou was finally certain of something.
Uruha had died that night because finally, Kouyou was born again, breathing through someone else.
"You define my eternity", was the best thing to picture Yuu.
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NOW TELL ME YOU GET IT??? I hope it is now clearer for a lot of you lol, I know that I made it kinda confusing in the previous chapter but it's all done on purpose. I won't explain it again, I think this chapter says it all. If not, leave a comment below, I'll be happy to help you. ♥ (AND THANK YOU GUYS FOR COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK ON TWITTER AND ALL, it made me happy ♥♥♥♥)