A series of you and me [CHAPTER 3]
Title: A series of you and me
Chapters: 3/?
Genre: Angst. Romance. Smut.
Warnings: Angst. Depressed Uruha. Very short sex scene.
Ratings: PG-13 (R later?)
Pairings: AoixUruha
Disclaimer: I only own my imagination ♪
Synopsis: Kouyou finds his life ruled by the glimpses of him he can see.
What the fuck am I doing here...?
The ice cubes in his glass were dancing as he was drawing circles on the wooden surface of the bar.
Lonely.
He heard laughs in his back, the bar was crowded tonight. The first night it will ever because it was the inauguration of the TOXIC. And Kouyou was thinking that they had picked the perfect name for a place where people were intoxicating themselves...
Himself first. He couldn't recall if it was the third of the fourth whiskey he was having because even when he was drinking, things were monotonous. And he knew that he would need more alcohol to get drunk because if something hadn't changed from his previous life, it was the way he was drinking.
Too much.
Alone.
Sat on his couch with a bottle and not even a glass. His lips on the cold neck because he couldn't have his mouth against his. Drinking until passing out and waking up with his head throbbing.
- Rough day?
Kouyou raised his head and looked into the barman's eyes.
- Same old day.
The man nodded while arranging few bottles and looked at the full room with a distant gaze.
- You're the only lonely person tonight. Even the ones who came here on their own found someone to talk to.
Kouyou shrugged his shoulders. Would it matter anyway? He wasn't around.
- So?
Kouyou's tone had been unwillingly harsh.
- I'm used to people like you. They don't come to bars to drink alone. Most of them want to be heard, to be seen, to be cared for.
He laughed, and it sounded wrong. The barman stared at him with sadness.
- Where's the violin? The piano in the background? Oh shit give me tissues I'm going to cry you a river over my shitty life and how my parents were junkies, how I prostituted myself to survive and now I have aids and I'm stuck here, drinking to forget I'm going to die alone.
The barman froze, an eyebrow raised and put the bottle of whiskey on the bar, next to Kouyou's glass.
- Here. Drink your pathetic life away.
And he walked away, hurt because he tried to help this stranger and instead reaped his sarcasms. He didn't know why the man was so proud to refuse his help. He didn't know either why he cared for him all of sudden but the sight of him was both fascinating and touching. He wasn't particularly appealing at the first glance, even pretty normal, but, there was something within him that was glowing, maybe against his will. Something dark and bright at the same time, a strange paradoxe he couldn't even define, inside.
Sometimes you were looking at some strangers and they would catch your attention, for no reason. And that was one of those moment for Akira. It wasn't about lust, it wasn't any sexual attraction, it was a deep desire to know the person, to be their friend and to get to know them.
As simple as that.
But the doors had been slammed shut to his face and this stranger's world seemed to be something he wouldn't catch a glimpse of.
He sighed and when he saw his next customer, the gay alert alarm went off in his head. His hair was stylized, a clear and warm brown and he was wearing a white shirt, a leather jacket over it with tight jeans. He couldn't see his shoes but he was sure they were expensive.
The man smiled and ordered a sex on the beach. Akira would have laughed if the man wasn't staring at his every movements while preparing his cocktail because he had been waiting for that kind of girly drink.
- Takashima!
Kouyou sighed when he heard his voice and felt the urge to touch his glasses, discovered.
- Matsumoto...
The smaller got closer under Akira's attentive gaze.
- Why didn't you tell me you'd be here tonight?
- Why do I have to tell you?
The hairdresser pouted.
- Because we're friends!
- No no, you think we are but we don't.
The barman tried to hide his smile while pouring the cocktail into a glass.
- You listen to my shit every morning, this is what I call a friend. And I should listen to yours now.
Kouyou showed obviously his irritation.
- Can I drink alone without anyone thinking I'm depressing?
- What is it? Heartache?
Matsumoto was sipping his sex on the beach through a pink straw, excited by Kouyou's private life he was dying to hear for so long now.
- My ears are aching right now. I wish I could be deaf.
And there, Akira couldn't resist and turned around to laugh, not aware that Kouyou had noticed the way his shoulders were shaking a little.
- Next time you come to the salon I'm going to cut your hair mohawk style!
- If I don't poison your coffee before.
The haidresser opened his mouth in shock and laughed the next instant.
- You're fucking redoutable Kou!
- Who the hell gave you the right to call me this?
- It fits you. It's cute like you.
- I'm going to give you a cute bruise that is going to fit your smoky make up...
The other got the giggles, patting Kouyou's back with one hand.
- Ah God, I didn't know you were like that, the shy and polite Takashima removing his mask at night to reveal his true self.
- Nice to meet you.
Kouyou didn't know if it was this blunt and spontaneous talk, or the alcohol, but it was refreshing to have this conversation with this annoying hairdresser. He didn't even try to hide a grin and Matsumoto instantly reacted.
- Oh fuck I hear the bells of Heaven I made Takashima smile! Sakai is never going to believe me.
- If you tell Sakai I will have to kill you.
The hairdresser smirked, a finger poking Kouyou's cheek while this one was trying to avoid it.
- You love me too much to kill me!
- You wish.
And there, captivated by their talk was the barman and the two new friends exchanged a knowing glance:
- Can you guys come everyday from now? I think my shifts aren't going to be boring then.
Matsumoto almost jumped out of his seat, a high chair where he had sat with difficulty (a detail Kouyou noticed but politely ignored) to focus on the blond barman:
- Ah what's your name?
Kouyou though stopped listening at this right instant because a silhouette caught his attention behind the glass of the bar's door. The perfect contours of his jaw line, his breathtaking smile, his shiny ebony hair and always, always, his black coat.
His grey wool scarf hanging around his neck loosely...
He pushed open the door, followed by Yutaka and Kouyou suddenly remembered the retro version of the Kamasutra on his coffee table (yes he had taken a glance at it, while he was at it, it was his property now whether he wanted it or not.)
Luckily, Yutaka didn't notice him and they sat in the back of the bar with some other friends Kouyou hadn't seen before, or simply didn't remember. And Kouyou blessed the mirror behind Akira that was giving a perfect view on the room.
Somehow, it felt like sitting at the coffee shop, lurking.
As the waiter came to them, Kouyou completely focused on Yuu and admired how the man was often shaking his head to get rid off the curtain of dark locks troubling him...
Laughing spontaneously.
I'm not like that.
It tore his insides into pieces.
You're so beautiful it hurts.
He felt disgusted with himself. How he turned his life into this mess.
I hate you. I hate what you did to me. I'm my own shadow. I am not anymore. I'm just a pale reflection of a pretender I'm trying to be.
I'm nothing.
Nausea. Headache. Kouyou looked away and realized the hairdresser was engaged in an interesting conversation with the barman. And it made him feel even more sick.
Socializing, he didn't know how to do this anymore.
Kouyou didn't bother to tell Matsumoto where he was going and left the bar, leaning against the wall next to the door, pulling out a cigarette and his lighter.
And it happened so quickly that Kouyou hadn't had time to escape.
Yuu was here.
Yuu was few steps away.
He looked over and noticed he wasn't alone. He thought that maybe he could see his face by the glow of his cigarette, in the thick darkness. The smell traveled instantly across the small distance between them.
Smoke...The kind that only came from a certain brand of cigarette. His brand.
We smoke the same brand.
There was something almost familiar in this stranger standing here, in his deep grey coat and Yuu couldn't recall what. Like a hazed memory.
And it struck him.
The Kamasutra guy!
The glow moved downward till it was level with his face. But the stranger walked away, plumes of smoke vanishing behind him...And Yuu stood there, his cigarette consuming itself, his mind wandering around the thin elegant silhouette disappearing around the corner of the street.
Pinned on the mattress. His back kissed, bitten and scratched. Trails reddening on his delicate porcelain skin. Sighs and cries passing his lips when deep inside...
- Yuu...
Inaudible whisper. Wild groans behind his ear.
Sparkling white behind his eyelids, behind Yuu's face forever haunting him. He collapsed on the stained sheet as the mass crushed him against the comfortable bed. His breath momentarily cut, Kouyou gasped and took a lungful of air.
- On the nightstand.
The man didn't move, only breathed loudly.
- On the nightstand. Leave.
A feeling of liberty envaded his whole body when the man left the bed and picked his clothes from the floor...He closed his eyes as to pretend it wasn't happening, that it was a nightmare. But when he opened them again, he could see the contours of the man's body blocking out the midnight light. He seemed to be counting the bills and it made Kouyou feel even more sick. When finally the entrance door was shut and nothing but his breath could be heard, Kouyou dissolved into tears, wrapping the blanket around his shaking body, curling up like a child.
I'm not doing this anymore.
I'm still a human, I still live, I still have desires and urges I can't resist. Tonight I dreamt I was pinning you against the wall and kissing you until you'd fall dead in my arms. I was near pressing my mouth on yours out of nowhere, abusing your lips like you stole away my sanity. But I walked away and...
Look what I did to myself...I gave this stranger what I can't give to you. I let him give me what you can't give me. Now I find myself stupid for having given up on my needs so easily, without fighting, without keeping this love unstained.
Can I even say it's pure?
It's been so long since someone touched me like you did. No one ever did. They all use me, a living dead doll they throw away in the end.
None of them kissed my forehead like you did.
It's always all rough and wild, it's like animals.
While with you it's ethereal. Intangible.
I fell in love with you when you made love to me. When from your bed I could watch the moon and the stars and your eyes. When you showed me that reality could be this powerful and my dreams so obsolete.
To sleep now, his only solace.
-------------------------
I'm not going to announce the numbers of chapters because I usually fail all the time at predictions (see Red Motel last year...*coughscoughs*). But I hope I can make this story interesting and captivating (for both you and me). Okay so you know, men also prostitute themselves and so Uru went to whores. I'm sorry I did this to Uru but well, it's all fiction right.
Chapters: 3/?
Genre: Angst. Romance. Smut.
Warnings: Angst. Depressed Uruha. Very short sex scene.
Ratings: PG-13 (R later?)
Pairings: AoixUruha
Disclaimer: I only own my imagination ♪
Synopsis: Kouyou finds his life ruled by the glimpses of him he can see.
What the fuck am I doing here...?
The ice cubes in his glass were dancing as he was drawing circles on the wooden surface of the bar.
Lonely.
He heard laughs in his back, the bar was crowded tonight. The first night it will ever because it was the inauguration of the TOXIC. And Kouyou was thinking that they had picked the perfect name for a place where people were intoxicating themselves...
Himself first. He couldn't recall if it was the third of the fourth whiskey he was having because even when he was drinking, things were monotonous. And he knew that he would need more alcohol to get drunk because if something hadn't changed from his previous life, it was the way he was drinking.
Too much.
Alone.
Sat on his couch with a bottle and not even a glass. His lips on the cold neck because he couldn't have his mouth against his. Drinking until passing out and waking up with his head throbbing.
- Rough day?
Kouyou raised his head and looked into the barman's eyes.
- Same old day.
The man nodded while arranging few bottles and looked at the full room with a distant gaze.
- You're the only lonely person tonight. Even the ones who came here on their own found someone to talk to.
Kouyou shrugged his shoulders. Would it matter anyway? He wasn't around.
- So?
Kouyou's tone had been unwillingly harsh.
- I'm used to people like you. They don't come to bars to drink alone. Most of them want to be heard, to be seen, to be cared for.
He laughed, and it sounded wrong. The barman stared at him with sadness.
- Where's the violin? The piano in the background? Oh shit give me tissues I'm going to cry you a river over my shitty life and how my parents were junkies, how I prostituted myself to survive and now I have aids and I'm stuck here, drinking to forget I'm going to die alone.
The barman froze, an eyebrow raised and put the bottle of whiskey on the bar, next to Kouyou's glass.
- Here. Drink your pathetic life away.
And he walked away, hurt because he tried to help this stranger and instead reaped his sarcasms. He didn't know why the man was so proud to refuse his help. He didn't know either why he cared for him all of sudden but the sight of him was both fascinating and touching. He wasn't particularly appealing at the first glance, even pretty normal, but, there was something within him that was glowing, maybe against his will. Something dark and bright at the same time, a strange paradoxe he couldn't even define, inside.
Sometimes you were looking at some strangers and they would catch your attention, for no reason. And that was one of those moment for Akira. It wasn't about lust, it wasn't any sexual attraction, it was a deep desire to know the person, to be their friend and to get to know them.
As simple as that.
But the doors had been slammed shut to his face and this stranger's world seemed to be something he wouldn't catch a glimpse of.
He sighed and when he saw his next customer, the gay alert alarm went off in his head. His hair was stylized, a clear and warm brown and he was wearing a white shirt, a leather jacket over it with tight jeans. He couldn't see his shoes but he was sure they were expensive.
The man smiled and ordered a sex on the beach. Akira would have laughed if the man wasn't staring at his every movements while preparing his cocktail because he had been waiting for that kind of girly drink.
- Takashima!
Kouyou sighed when he heard his voice and felt the urge to touch his glasses, discovered.
- Matsumoto...
The smaller got closer under Akira's attentive gaze.
- Why didn't you tell me you'd be here tonight?
- Why do I have to tell you?
The hairdresser pouted.
- Because we're friends!
- No no, you think we are but we don't.
The barman tried to hide his smile while pouring the cocktail into a glass.
- You listen to my shit every morning, this is what I call a friend. And I should listen to yours now.
Kouyou showed obviously his irritation.
- Can I drink alone without anyone thinking I'm depressing?
- What is it? Heartache?
Matsumoto was sipping his sex on the beach through a pink straw, excited by Kouyou's private life he was dying to hear for so long now.
- My ears are aching right now. I wish I could be deaf.
And there, Akira couldn't resist and turned around to laugh, not aware that Kouyou had noticed the way his shoulders were shaking a little.
- Next time you come to the salon I'm going to cut your hair mohawk style!
- If I don't poison your coffee before.
The haidresser opened his mouth in shock and laughed the next instant.
- You're fucking redoutable Kou!
- Who the hell gave you the right to call me this?
- It fits you. It's cute like you.
- I'm going to give you a cute bruise that is going to fit your smoky make up...
The other got the giggles, patting Kouyou's back with one hand.
- Ah God, I didn't know you were like that, the shy and polite Takashima removing his mask at night to reveal his true self.
- Nice to meet you.
Kouyou didn't know if it was this blunt and spontaneous talk, or the alcohol, but it was refreshing to have this conversation with this annoying hairdresser. He didn't even try to hide a grin and Matsumoto instantly reacted.
- Oh fuck I hear the bells of Heaven I made Takashima smile! Sakai is never going to believe me.
- If you tell Sakai I will have to kill you.
The hairdresser smirked, a finger poking Kouyou's cheek while this one was trying to avoid it.
- You love me too much to kill me!
- You wish.
And there, captivated by their talk was the barman and the two new friends exchanged a knowing glance:
- Can you guys come everyday from now? I think my shifts aren't going to be boring then.
Matsumoto almost jumped out of his seat, a high chair where he had sat with difficulty (a detail Kouyou noticed but politely ignored) to focus on the blond barman:
- Ah what's your name?
Kouyou though stopped listening at this right instant because a silhouette caught his attention behind the glass of the bar's door. The perfect contours of his jaw line, his breathtaking smile, his shiny ebony hair and always, always, his black coat.
His grey wool scarf hanging around his neck loosely...
He pushed open the door, followed by Yutaka and Kouyou suddenly remembered the retro version of the Kamasutra on his coffee table (yes he had taken a glance at it, while he was at it, it was his property now whether he wanted it or not.)
Luckily, Yutaka didn't notice him and they sat in the back of the bar with some other friends Kouyou hadn't seen before, or simply didn't remember. And Kouyou blessed the mirror behind Akira that was giving a perfect view on the room.
Somehow, it felt like sitting at the coffee shop, lurking.
As the waiter came to them, Kouyou completely focused on Yuu and admired how the man was often shaking his head to get rid off the curtain of dark locks troubling him...
Laughing spontaneously.
I'm not like that.
It tore his insides into pieces.
You're so beautiful it hurts.
He felt disgusted with himself. How he turned his life into this mess.
I hate you. I hate what you did to me. I'm my own shadow. I am not anymore. I'm just a pale reflection of a pretender I'm trying to be.
I'm nothing.
Nausea. Headache. Kouyou looked away and realized the hairdresser was engaged in an interesting conversation with the barman. And it made him feel even more sick.
Socializing, he didn't know how to do this anymore.
Kouyou didn't bother to tell Matsumoto where he was going and left the bar, leaning against the wall next to the door, pulling out a cigarette and his lighter.
And it happened so quickly that Kouyou hadn't had time to escape.
Yuu was here.
Yuu was few steps away.
He looked over and noticed he wasn't alone. He thought that maybe he could see his face by the glow of his cigarette, in the thick darkness. The smell traveled instantly across the small distance between them.
Smoke...The kind that only came from a certain brand of cigarette. His brand.
We smoke the same brand.
There was something almost familiar in this stranger standing here, in his deep grey coat and Yuu couldn't recall what. Like a hazed memory.
And it struck him.
The Kamasutra guy!
The glow moved downward till it was level with his face. But the stranger walked away, plumes of smoke vanishing behind him...And Yuu stood there, his cigarette consuming itself, his mind wandering around the thin elegant silhouette disappearing around the corner of the street.
Pinned on the mattress. His back kissed, bitten and scratched. Trails reddening on his delicate porcelain skin. Sighs and cries passing his lips when deep inside...
- Yuu...
Inaudible whisper. Wild groans behind his ear.
Sparkling white behind his eyelids, behind Yuu's face forever haunting him. He collapsed on the stained sheet as the mass crushed him against the comfortable bed. His breath momentarily cut, Kouyou gasped and took a lungful of air.
- On the nightstand.
The man didn't move, only breathed loudly.
- On the nightstand. Leave.
A feeling of liberty envaded his whole body when the man left the bed and picked his clothes from the floor...He closed his eyes as to pretend it wasn't happening, that it was a nightmare. But when he opened them again, he could see the contours of the man's body blocking out the midnight light. He seemed to be counting the bills and it made Kouyou feel even more sick. When finally the entrance door was shut and nothing but his breath could be heard, Kouyou dissolved into tears, wrapping the blanket around his shaking body, curling up like a child.
I'm not doing this anymore.
I'm still a human, I still live, I still have desires and urges I can't resist. Tonight I dreamt I was pinning you against the wall and kissing you until you'd fall dead in my arms. I was near pressing my mouth on yours out of nowhere, abusing your lips like you stole away my sanity. But I walked away and...
Look what I did to myself...I gave this stranger what I can't give to you. I let him give me what you can't give me. Now I find myself stupid for having given up on my needs so easily, without fighting, without keeping this love unstained.
Can I even say it's pure?
It's been so long since someone touched me like you did. No one ever did. They all use me, a living dead doll they throw away in the end.
None of them kissed my forehead like you did.
It's always all rough and wild, it's like animals.
While with you it's ethereal. Intangible.
I fell in love with you when you made love to me. When from your bed I could watch the moon and the stars and your eyes. When you showed me that reality could be this powerful and my dreams so obsolete.
To sleep now, his only solace.
-------------------------
I'm not going to announce the numbers of chapters because I usually fail all the time at predictions (see Red Motel last year...*coughscoughs*). But I hope I can make this story interesting and captivating (for both you and me). Okay so you know, men also prostitute themselves and so Uru went to whores. I'm sorry I did this to Uru but well, it's all fiction right.