Old Ghosts

[bldnthndr]

Dan
Dan has been standing here for a while, at the door of the apartment that he has come to learn belongs to Adrian Veidt. Even with a couple of drinks under his belt, he still doesn't have it in him to bring himself to knock.

One knock and everything he knows is bound to change. Forever. One knock has the power to turn his life upside down and, as miserable as he is now, he doesn't think he has the courage to just let it happen, for better or for worse.

He closes his eyes and hangs his head, willing his fear away, striving for the iron-clad resolve that used to make him unstoppable. And without lifting his head, he raps his knuckles oh so lightly on the door, then waits for the axe to fall.

Adrian
It's a quiet night, and as on so many others, with the monotony that Adrian has become used to but cannot bring himself to dislike, he's sitting at home with only his papers and his cat, engrossed in the details of his students' latest explorations. The last thing he's expecting is company (although he should be getting used to it, he reflects, given recent nocturnal visits from his younger twin), and as he gets up to see who the visitor might be, he forgoes his normal check of the peephole (something in him must be thirsty for a change, he reflects for a moment as the door swings open).

Dan
Oh, God. Oh, God, he prays as he hears lock turn and as the hinges on the door, well oiled as they likely are, grate against each other and the door swings open. It's a mistake, he knows this already, but the last little glimmer of something like hope makes him lift his head and look into the eyes of the man in the doorway. "Adrian." He says simply, knowing for certain now, that this is the man he has sought out. Who has wrecked his life so many times, brought him to all of this misery. Dan has never been so happy to see him in all his days.

Adrian
As he sees who is standing in front of him, Adrian's breath stills in his chest, his vision narrows, and he becomes aware of what feels like a dull roaring in his ears. The man before him is stooped and shrunken, but the face, the bearing, even the clothing is all too familiar, and not in the sense of an archetype. It's a face he never expected to see again, to his sorrow, but at its reappearance here, he feels the weight of momentous event crashing down on him, and he finds himself clutching the doorknob so as not to stagger to his knees. "...Dan?" His voice, when it comes out, is a cracked whisper.

Dan
He huffs a joyless laugh and cracks a smile, turning his head down for a moment as he gathers his nerves. "You know me," he whispers, barely audible, not really meaning to be heard.

When he looks at Adrian again, his eyes are tinged in red. "How... Uhm. It's... How've you been keeping?" he tries helplessly. "It's you... Right?" The question is inane, but his Adrian would know exactly what he means.

Adrian
Adrian's mouth opens and closes before he finds his voice again. "Yes," he whispers. "I know you." He does, and there's no doubt in his mind who this man is, out of all the possible Dan Dreibergs who might exist. But what has happened to him, and why is he on Adrian's doorstep, looking like the weight of the world is on his shoulders?

The only natural thing for Adrian to do is to extend a hand, and beckon this improbable Dan inside the apartment. He suddenly needs, very badly, to sit down, and it's not lost on Adrian that Dan does, too.

Dan
"Good," he replies, his core burning with something he can't identify as anything but relief. He reaches to the offered hand, his own hovering for a moment before slipping into Adrian's grip. It reminds him of so many times when he's shaken this hand before, as a mask, a comrade, a bitter man willing to compromise only for the ultimate cause. He squeezes it and moves past the threshold as he's invited in.

"I didn't think..." his words fail him, but he gladly takes the first seat available to him, practically collapsing with a long, weary sigh. "I don't know what I thought. I'm just so glad that you're... You. I never thought I would see anybody again."

Adrian
The feel of Dan's hand in his-- real and immediate-- is almost enough to make Adrian's knees buckle again, and he follows as Dan enters the apartment. His eyes never leave Dan as he also falls into a seat, and he has to resist the sudden, irrational fear that if he blinks, the illusion will disappear (perhaps everything has finally caught up to him, and he's lost the ability to tell dream from reality. It wouldn't be surprising, and it would be just, in a way. He tells himself to concentrate.)

After a moment, he gives into the need to confirm that this is really happening, and leans forward, placing his hand over Dan's. "How...why are you here? What happened?" At Dan's later words, he suppresses the surge of fear that rises in his chest.

Dan
Doubt fills him and he fights away the thought that the Adrian he knew wouldn't do something like that, reach out to touch him, to comfort him or otherwise. But he doesn't resist the urge to turn his hand in Adrian's to hold it right back, to feel familiarity and comfort like he hasn't in years.

He should have prepared for these questions but he hasn't, having no immediate answer to give him. Instead, with something that might be cryptic to the casual observer, he says, "The transport. It had residual energy after you left. And when I went to disable it I wound up here." He sucks in a breath. "Five years ago."

Adrian
Adrian blinks, suddenly and unexpectedly robbed of all rational thought. After a moment, his analytical sense kicks in. Five years ago. Almost as long as Adrian himself has been here...and from the looks of it, they haven't been easy years. How could they have been? Dan had a great deal more to leave behind than Adrian, after all.

When Adrian speaks, it's with that old, perfectly calm, reasonable voice, the only way he can find to counteract his growing sense of numb horror. "You must hate me." His hand is limp in Dan's grip.

Dan
Another of those rough, mirthless laughs. "I've never been able to. I should. But you're all that's left." His past self might have fixed Adrian with a fiery look, one that he just can't muster up the strength to give him now. An even older part of himself might also have told Adrian that it wasn't his fault, that he didn't know and that it was okay, but Dan has long since ceased being so forgiving and naive to think that Adrian wont hate himself for it anyway or even care.

Adrian
Five years. Adrian knows well, Dan has long had the surprising power to steal away his powers of speech... After all, anything Adrian could possibly say at this point would be cheaply, utterly inadequate. "You were always the better man, by far." He reaches out to cradle Dan's hand between both of his own.

Dan
Dan lets him, wiping at his sniffling nose with the other hand and looking away. He's always hated what Adrian's flattery does to him, how it makes him relent and forgive, while making him feel cheap at the same time. "So," he says in lieu of a reply, "What have you been doing over the last few years?"

Adrian
Adrian continues to look intently at Dan: the old, familiar reactions are there, but to see him so beaten down is unspeakable. Long ago he made a promise to tell Dan the truth, and he's not lying by calling Dan the better man of the two. In recent years, he's never doubted it.

But Dan seems to want to preserve some trace of formality, so the least Adrian can do is play along. "I've been...teaching high school, actually. History. Nothing of great import." His fingers twitch. "And you?"

Dan
Dan looks at him at that, a bit of that old, goofy demeanor poking through. "What? You're teaching high school? Really? You? Oh, well, history, sure."

When Adrian turns the question on him, he's looking away once more. "I haven't been doing much. I made a brief living when I first got here, enough to last me and, uh..." He shrugs, at least not wanting to rub it in Adrian's face with how hard of a time he's had... "Watching my health circle the drain. Part of getting old I guess."

Adrian
At that, Adrian shudders, involuntarily-- just for a moment, before he controls himself, but to anyone who knows him, it's a momentous lapse. His voice is as eerily calm as ever, but even quieter. "What happened?"

Dan
Dan feels guilt nag at him at seeing Adrian so affected, something he didn't expect to feel when he found him again. After all, it's not Dan's fault that all this happened. Not at all.

He brushes his thumb over the hands in his hold and sighs, looking down. "Well, I had to restart from scratch again. This place is a little bit behind in certain branches of technology, so I thought I'd give them a boost and make some dough since I had none. And I moved out of the city. Had a couple of heart attacks," his voice dies away for a moment, not mentioning how he's stopped caring for himself, stopped trying so hard to keep on living. "I'm sure I must look pretty awful. I'm just not the man I used to be."

He might not have usually told Adrian all this in one go, but one thing has always stood true: if Adrian wants to know something, he'll find out whether you like it or not. And with all that's happened between them, Dan might as well be truthful.

Adrian
Adrian nods once, then closes his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. "I wish you had found me earlier." Calmly. Later, he knows, he'll spend plenty of time regretting that he hadn't found Dan, that he hadn't looked hard enough, that the possibility of something like this hadn't entered his mind. Now, there's no time for it, and if he lets himself dwell on it he won't be able to function. He'll have all the time in the world later.

Dan
"Me too," he sighs, and leans forward, his other hand coming to join the others. "I thought I was the only one left here. I..." His breath catches. "It's so good to see you," he whispers.

Adrian
"It is," Adrian whispers back. If only the circumstances were different, but he has no need to say that. He also leans forward, looking down at their joined hands, until his forehead is barely touching Dan's.

Dan
Dan is hardly keeping it together at this point. Having a drink to loosen himself up was a bad idea, because now he's threatening to crack and that's not what he wanted. His arm comes up and wraps around Adrian's shoulders and he finally gives into the impulse that has been niggling in the back of his mind since Adrian first open the door. He pulls him close to hug him tightly, needing that small comfort after having none for so very, very long.

Adrian
Adrian's arms come up of their own accord, and he's suddenly clutching Dan as if he's the only stable object in an otherwise uncertain world. Not too inapt a description, in the end, and it's been all too true for Adrian before, but now it's his turn to be the rock of stability, and it takes all his effort not to lose control himself. If he does, he doubts he'll ever regain it.

Dan
Dan's shoulders shake with a small sob and he lets himself fall into Adrian's arms, quaking as he finally lets his relief wash over him, feeling not so alone after all this time and being so very grateful to have someone who knows him again. "I was starting to think that-that I was crazy," he whispers to Adrian's neck, "that none of it was very real and that I was just nuts and making it up, y'know?

"All those things. The masks and my ship and.... And Rorschach and Laurie and Mason. And in '85... All those things were real, right?" He pulls away to look at Adrian, not accusing in any of this, just needing to know.

Adrian
Adrian nods, once, looking down at Dan. "Yes," he whispers. "Yes, it was real."

A stab of fear shoots through him. "Dan. Laurie and Mason...they didn't get caught up, did they? In what brought you here?" He finds himself holding his breath, in agonized waiting. What Dan must have been going through, cut off from them...

Dan
Dan nods and sniffs, finding some comfort in knowing, at least, that he's not just a mad man.

At Adrian's questions, Dan swallows and shakes his head. "No. They're... They aren't here. Trust me, I looked." A lot. "I think they're, uhm... Back home?"

Adrian
Adrian exhales, and his arms tighten around Dan. It's a relief, and yet...it's not.

Dan
He pulls away a bit, out of whatever awkward urge, and he wipes at his cheeks, looking down. "It's probably for the best. I wouldn't want them to see me like this anyway." Though, of course, he might not be like this if he had never lost them to begin with, he knows.

Adrian
"I'll take care of you," Adrian whispers...then swallows, curses himself, and prepares for the reaction. He's done a fine job of "taking care" of Dan already, after all.

Dan
Dan looks up at him, eying him sharply for once. "That... That isn't why I'm here, Adrian. I don't..." he lowers his head into his hands again, groaning and rubbing at his eyes. "I don't know. I don't want your pity."

Adrian
Adrian nods. He's expected no different, and all he deserves for this is Dan's anger and scorn, after all. He's long debated with himself whether it was wisdom or folly to come to this world to start with, and now, at least, he knows. It was a mistake, and one he will make right if it's the last thing he does.

He looks up, into Dan's eyes. "I want to show you something." He's about to invite Dan to come with him, but he has the second thought that (all thoughts of pity aside) Dan probably shouldn't move too much, after the upheaval he's had. Adrian feels none too steady on his feet himself. "I'll be right back; wait here." He moves decisively down the hall towards his bedroom, glancing back frequently as if worrying if Dan will disappear once out of sight.

Dan
Dan's eyes widen a bit, wondering what Adrian could possibly have to show him. He nods and stays where he is, watching Adrian as he does, fighting the same fear himself, that once Adrian leaves his sight, he wont ever come back. But Dan has seen him finally, felt him and held him and everything, and he's beginning to believe that maybe, just maybe, this may just be real. So he wipes at his face and sighs, breathing deep and trying to calm himself as he waits.

Adrian
After a few minutes, Adrian returns, holding what looks like a briefcase or computer case in his hands. It's dark metal, and there's an assortment of very serious-looking dials and locks on the front. Adrian sets it down on the coffee table before sitting back down on the sofa next to Dan, and bends over it, intently working the various locks with an ease born of long practice. As the last catches snick open, he places his hands on either side of the lid, and looks up at Dan, as if for confirmation, before slowly lifting it open.

As he does so, an eerily familiar blue glow shines out through the growing opening, one which Dan will recognize. Inside the case is a power source-- Manhattan's "clean blue energy", of the type that Veidt Enterprises was just starting to begin to popularize in the universe they both came from. It's nestled in one corner of the case, amid an array of black-boxes wired together in an arrangement which Adrian has no doubt will also be (far too) familiar to Dan.

Dan
Dan allows himself to breathe a bit more steadily when Adrian returns, cinching closer to see what he has brought with him, watching him open the case, his heart pounding when he sees what's inside. "Oh my god," he hushes, putting a hand over his mouth. "Adrian...?"

Adrian
"You know me well enough to know that I never operate without a contingency plan." The eerie calm of Adrian's voice is only heightened by the blue light playing across his face. "This is a portable version of the transport system, with enough power to allow me to make one more jump. It's not complete, but the most essential pieces are here; I can gather the rest from what's available in this world." He turns to Dan. "I've been keeping it in reserve in case I ever needed it." A small smile, and a blink. "My needs are irrelevant now."

Dan
Dan's hand still rests over his mouth as he stares into the case, the blue light over his face seeming to smooth over the age that has worn into his features and he looks just as dazed and frightened in the face of it now as he did back then.

With a hand on the back of the sofa, he pushes himself to his feet with a groan, turning his back to Adrian and pacing a bit, having no idea what to say to him. Yes, he had certainly hoped, when he had first seen Adrian again, walking those familiar streets, that maybe there was something the other man could do to right all of these wrongs, to make peace with all that Dan has lost, but now, faced with this and so many other things, Dan just doesn't know what do to. He puts a hand on the wall to hold himself up when his step falters a bit, rubbing a hand over his face. "Mmn. God."

Adrian
"Of course, the calculations will take some time-- they have to be absolutely correct, beyond a fraction of a doubt-- but there's a very good chance that we might be able to send you back to less than five years after you left...Dan?"

Adrian trails off as he sees Dan's confusion and his faltering step, and also rises to his feet, eyes wide in alarm. "I'm sorry, forgive me, this is all very sudden." He takes a step towards Dan, hand outstretched to offer support, but hesitates short of touching the other man.

Dan
"D'you think?" he snaps, though not with anger but sublime sadness in his voice. He pushes under his glasses and covers his eyes with a shaking hand, his back still turned to Adrian.

"Do you have any idea what it's been like, these last few years, Adrian? For anybody but yourself? Have you given any thought to it?" He turns around a bit too quickly in his mounting anger, his equilibrium off a bit, but he catches himself against the wall again without seeming too off kilter. "You gave me all this power and involvement in your life, put me into a position where I had little choice but to try and trust you again. Then you tell me that you're skipping out on everything and drag me along with you while you still have everything and I have to pay for your shit again!"

His hands are fisted in the shirt over Adrian's chest and shoves at him angrily, with only a fraction of the power he once had in these arms of his, though he hasn't felt so much like himself in this righteous anger as he has in a long, long time. "Do you think, maybe, it's a bit sudden? To discover that I'm not so goddamn alone and that you have a contingency plan to 'fix' everything again all at once?"

Adrian
Adrian listens mutely, completely bereft of the words with which to respond. Dan-- whichever one it may be-- has the ability now to rob him of all his rationalizations and justifications, and even his power of speech. He simply lets himself be shaken, and when he does speak, it's with a hollow finality. "There are no fixes. I thought I knew that before, but I know now. My coming here was a mistake. The cost was too high." He opens his mouth as if to speak again, but closes it; there's nothing left to say to Dan that would make this better, or even mean anything.

Dan
"Yeah, well it's not the first one you've made," he points out, but then his voice softens a bit along with his expression.

His hands come up to cup either side of Adrian's neck and he stares him in the eye, angry and hurt and sad. "I mourned you when you left. I couldn't bring myself to be grateful for what you gave to my family when you were gone because I wanted you there, you bastard. When are you ever going to learn to let well enough alone and just deal with the consequences, Adrian? None of this had to happen!"

Adrian
"I'm sorry," Adrian whispers, mutely. "I had thought-- that it was the only way to let things alone, finally. To remove myself altogether. Nothing else was working." And it had been a selfish decision, thinking himself so important that his absence would fix everything. He meets Dan's sad, angry gaze, and feeling his eyes beginning to prickle, blinks once or twice.

Dan
Hearing Adrian Veidt say the words 'I'm sorry' is a rare occurrence and it does things in Dan's chest. He sighs heavily. "Yeah, well, the media was devastated. It was looked at like a suicide, after all." It had felt like one too. "Any research endeavors after that were made illegal. I wasn't around long enough to see the fall out in the long run." He knows that it's mostly irrelevant, that Adrian doesn't really need to know these things, but it's all Dan has to offer as he sees Adrian crumbling, trying to refrain from his typical mode of apologizing for everything himself.

Adrian
"I'm not surprised," Adrian whispers. It had been a suicide, in a manner of speaking-- the death of his old life, and the attempt to start over in a place where he might be able to let things develop on their own, without forcing them into his own mold...a place where he could be alone with his memories, too, and give them the time they deserved. "It's...probably best that it was made illegal."

Dan
"We didn't know if you had made it. Or if you had just... Ceased to exist." It had been hard, the idea of yet another friend gone without a trace, without even a whisper. At least Dan didn't have to witness it, this time without a blood red stain in the snow. Although the fact that he's even comparing Adrian to Rorschach feels wrong, it had still hurt nevertheless. "And then, getting stuck here myself... I never thought we would be in the same place."

Adrian
"I'm sorry," Adrian whispers again. Every time he feels like he's moved forward, like he's beginning to understand what's important, it's only a misstep. For a moment, the picture of young Adrian swims across his mental canvas, and he has to suppress a hollow laugh. How could he have thought that he might ever manage to be a positive influence, a real father figure? It's been playacting, nothing more. He'll have to decide what to do, but for now, Dan's situation is more important, and he manages to focus on Dan again.

Dan
Dan shakes him again. "Stop. Stop saying that. I know you're sorry. But I know more than anyone that 'sorry' doesn't change a damn thing." He draws a slow breath, looking tired as his hands move down Adrian's shoulders to squeeze his arms. "I... I'm just glad to know that you're here. I'm glad not to be alone anymore," he says softly.

Adrian
Adrian opens his mouth to apologize again, but pauses, and closes it, with a small nod. He brings his own hands up to rest on Dan's arms, and returns the squeeze. "You're not alone."

Dan
"Thank you," Dan whispers, holding his gaze for a moment...

Before moving away and looking over the room, at the case on the table and the papers beside that. He sighs. "Well, I suppose this has been enough excitement for one night." He checks the watch on his wrist. "I ought to head out, I think." He rubs at his eyes beneath his glasses, looking wearier than before, despite how much relief he feels.

Adrian
Adrian exhales as Dan moves away, and takes a few measured breaths, a time-honored method for regaining some equilibrium. His brow furrows in concern as Dan speaks, and although his voice is once more calm and even, there's the faint remnant of a tremble in it. "You must be tired. Are you sure it's a good idea to travel? You are more than welcome to stay here; my house is yours." A part of him wants to beg Dan to stay, instead of disappearing, but Adrian knows he has no right to ask anything of Dan right now, so he stays silent there.

Dan
Dan had rented a motel room not far from Adrian's building, knowing well enough that travel this time of night, under this amount of strain, would be a bad idea.

He looks over at Adrian, his brows raising a bit behind his glasses. Adrian is rarely so carelessly hyper-verbose unless he's unsure (on the rare occasions that this happens) or means what he's saying. A simple, singular statement, a small gesture of the hand, and good ol' Adrian Veidt would have been as cordial and aloof as ever.

"You want me to stay," Dan says, meaning it as a question though he already knows the answer... He just wants to hear it.

Adrian
It's been five years, of hell no less, and Dan still has the ability to see right through him. Dan has seen him at his best and worst moments, in fact, and there is probably no other person in existence who can read Adrian so well, odd as that is. The younger Adrian doesn't even come close.

Adrian sweeps the reflections aside and manages to focus on the question at hand. "...Yes," he says, lowly. "Yes, I would. I have no right."

Dan
"I would like that," Dan answers quietly, his eyes locked on Adrian's. "If I'm not imposing, I mean." He smiles softly, a small sincere thing that clears his expression, "I mean, you do have school in the morning, don't you?"

Adrian
"It's not an imposition at all." And now Adrian smiles, and wonder of wonders, there's a tiny trace of sincerity in that as well. He shakes his head. "I was already planning to call in; they can spare me. I wouldn't have gotten much sleep tonight, in any event."

Dan
The amount of good it does Dan's heart to see Adrian's smile surprises him. "Sorry. I'm sure the last thing you expected was this old bag of bones showing up on your doorstep," he says, almost lightheartedly, feeling a good deal better after his outburst and the shock wearing off.

Adrian
The fact that Dan can still joke, after everything he's been through, is no less reassuring to Adrian. "You did give my heart a turn, yes. Although I have to object to your choice of words. I've got a better claim to that title, after all." Although Adrian's never completely looked his age, the years are catching up with him, and they've honed his previous athleticism to a leaner, harder physique...just shy of actual thinness.

Dan
Dan, on the other hand, could certainly look better. He's lost more hair and what he hasn't lost is peppered with gray. He frowns far more often than he smiles these days and it shows in the set of his mouth, the lines at the corners of his lips and on his brow. The rest of him is just a small, withered shell of the tall, strong man he used to be.

"Oh please, Adrian, spare me." He sways on his feet a bit. "You've always been a much better looking man than I have and I'm far worse for wear than you are."

Adrian
Adrian makes a brief, nonverbal sound of dismissal, and the corner of his mouth curves up. "You've always been handsome to me." It might sound odd, but Adrian's said as much to Dan in the past, and Dan's been able to tease him about it. He only hopes that Dan will still believe him.

He takes a step forward, but stops himself from taking Dan's elbow to steady him. "Sit back down, if you'd like. I'd prefer that you take my bedroom-- it's more comfortable than the guest room, and as I said, I won't be able to sleep much tonight anyway." He raises an eyebrow, as he's moving away to get things ready.

Dan
"Now I know you're bullshitting me," Dan replies with a soft, sincere if not self-depreciating smile.

He takes a hold of Adrian when he steps nearer, a hand on his arm to steady himself. "Mmn. I'm usually not this wobbly. I had a couple drinks before I came over. Thought it would," he gestures, "calm me down." Nevermind that alcohol is obviously bad for his heart. "What a lot of good that did."

When Adrian offers him a seat, he hesitates. "Could you move... That?" He points to the case still on the coffee table, just not wanting to see it anymore.

He looks levelly at Adrian when he offers him his bedroom. "Are you sure? I can sleep just about anywhere, you know."

Adrian
"I can certainly understand that." Adrian listens, head tilted, pausing only briefly at Dan's request. "Of course." He decisively closes the briefcase and flips the latches back shut before picking it up in one hand, holding his other arm steady so Dan can use it for support if needed.

"And yes, I am. Trust me, it's a world of difference." He smiles, then raises an eyebrow. "The only caveat is that that's the cat's accustomed sleeping spot, but I can evict her for tonight if need be."

Dan
He watches Adrian as he packs up the briefcase, still holding onto him. "I... I had hoped that maybe there was some way that you could help me fix this. And I'm sorry for snapping at you. But it's just... This is just so much at once, you know? I guess, in truth, I expected you to not be the same man I remembered and to turn me away outright and that this would be over. Now I have to think about things all over again." He squeezes Adrian's arm, turning him to look at him. "Sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you."

He chuckles softly at the mention of Adrian's cat, moving to sit down on the sofa again. "If she's as big as Bubastis was, then maybe we'll have an issue. If not, then I think it'll be okay."

Adrian
Adrian listens, face softening at this proof of Dan's essential, unchanged personality, an apology for reacting to another's sins. He shakes his head decisively. "I don't believe you have anything at all that you need to apologize for, Dan."

He smiles at the mention of Bubastis. "Not quite so overgrown: she's a big cat, but I'm convinced that over half of that is hair. I'm sure she'll come out and make her introductions soon. She takes some time to get used to new people." With a nod, Adrian slips out of the room again, this time to deposit the briefcase in one of the other rooms.

Dan
"Yeah, well, cats don't tend to like me in general." He recalls a time when Bubastis had chewed on his cape, leaving bite marks in the Kevlar, costing him quite a hefty amount to replace. But back then, money had never been an issue.

He sits, content with his thoughts while Adrian rummages through his home. And it's a nice home at that, not much at all like what Dan remembers his previous homes being. It's much more comfortable, putting him at ease, and he sinks into the lush sofa a little bit, taking one of the papers Adrian had been grading before he arrived from the table and reading over it.

Adrian
Adrian reappears from the back, and smiles as he sees what Dan is doing. "Hopefully that's one of the better ones. My students come up with some eye-burning interpretations, on occasion. ...Can I make you some coffee, or tea, or something else?"

Belatedly, Adrian realizes something, with a shock, and hopes that Dan doesn't pay too close attention to some of the names on the papers...he'll certainly have to be told about that odd aspect of Cuss High, but tonight is decidedly not the time.

Dan
Dan looks over his shoulder, his eyelids drooping a bit. "Chamomile if you have it," he requests quietly. It's something Laurie used to do for him, make him a cup of chamomile tea before bed when he couldn't sleep, something he has found himself doing more and more in years past when all he can do is lay awake and miss his wife and son.

"What made you decide to teach high school, Adrian? I could have seen you as a college professor, but why high school?" He's not really paying all that much attention to the paper or the name at the top, particularly this one by Ed Jacobi. He read enough to get the gist, but not much more than that.

Adrian
"Chamomile it is."

Adrian pauses, head tilted to the side, thinking. "I suppose it was a combination of opportunity and logistics. I was looking for something to do with my time, the opportunity was available, and since it's a private high school, the...documentation requirements weren't quite as onerous." The deciding factor, the presence of a younger version of himself, is something Adrian opts not to mention right now.

"There's also something to be said for being able to awaken students' interest at a younger age, too, and showing them how history is relevant to their experiences." In spite of his subdued manner at the moment, the emotional exhaustion of the past hour, there's a faint note of animation creeping into Adrian's voice-- he actually does enjoy his job, and believes in what he's saying.

Dan
"Documentation requirements," he echoes, smirking. "Yeah, you're a hard man to find out about when you haven't got the paparazzi following you around."

He watches Adrian as he speaks smiling softly to himself. Even before their displacement here, he hasn't seen Adrian look so... Pleased about anything that he was doing. "Good. I'm glad for you, that you've found something that you enjoy. Something, y'know, small in scale and everything."

Adrian
"...Ah." Adrian pauses. "Yes, I set it up that way, as you can understand."

He lets out a breath. "Thank you. I do wonder, especially now, if it was a good idea. I haven't seemed to do too much harm thus far, at least." He smiles, calmly (and not reaching his eyes), and disappears into the kitchen to make the tea.

Dan
Dan sighs as Adrian walks away, pushing himself up from the sofa and wandering slowly toward the kitchen. He pauses in the doorway, watching Adrian for a moment, and then he walks over, putting a hand on his back. "I want you to know... My outburst at you earlier aside... I do forgive you. I had a lot of time to think about it, to be angry, and to get over it. All of it. For now, it just hurts, y'know? Don't apologize. Because you're already forgiven. But I just wanted you to know, okay? I don't want you walking on eggshells like you sometimes do because you think I hate you. As we've already established, I've never been able to."

Adrian
Adrian turns away from the counter as he feels Dan's hand on his back, and his eyes widen in surprise at his words. One of the things he's never been able to fully comprehend is this aspect of Dan-- the depth of his goodness, and his inability to hate. In his younger years, he would have called it weakness. Now, he knows that it's a form of strength, one that (in his inability to forgive himself) he doesn't possess. He doesn't even know where to start. So, quietly, he nods. "Thank you." He rests a hand on Dan's shoulder for a moment, looking into his eyes in an attempt to convey how deeply he means that.

Dan
Dan swallows and nods, his hand covering Adrian's where it falls on his shoulder and squeezing it. "You're welcome," he replies quietly, not knowing what else he could possibly say. "And thank you. For being here."

Adrian
The alternative to that, of Dan not finding him and living lost and alone in this world before finally fading away, is too much for Adrian to think about right now. He doesn't entirely trust himself to speak, so he only nods.

The silence is suddenly broken by the whistle of the kettle, so Adrian turns away to pour the boiling water into the pot. He looks up at Dan. "Could I prevail upon you to grab two mugs out of the cupboard, since you're standing right in front of it?"

Dan
He stands with Adrian a moment, simply reveling in having that close, comfortable familiarity for a few moments longer... And he actually starts a bit when he hears the whistle. "Uhm. Sure." He turns away and opens it up, taking down what Adrian's asked and putting them on the counter in front of him.

"So, uh... You live alone here?"

Adrian
"Oh, yes." Adrian smiles, as if in sudden amusement. "I live pretty quietly, really. I occasionally travel, or get pulled along with some of my fellow teachers on their social outings, but most of the time I'm here."

He looks up, with quiet intensity. "And you?" He's afraid the question might be too much, but he's choosing to take Dan at his word.

Dan
"Oh. Okay. I just, uh, saw all your coffee cups. I thought maybe it wasn't just you here." He looks over at Adrian with his question, his brows raising for moment. And then he reaches up to remove his glasses and wipe them off.

"No, it's... Just me. I thought about getting a dog, but I figured I'd die before he did and then there'd be nobody to take care of him." He snorts at his own tasteless joke.

"I dunno, Adrian. What do you do when you know you can never see your wife again or when you know she probably thinks you're dead?" He doesn't look upset, though he probably should. It's just like he's said... He's had a lot of time to think about these things.

Adrian
"No. Teachers tend to collect them."

Adrian blinks, long and slow. He would apologize for asking, but he knows what Dan's reaction to that would be. He suddenly has the urge to reach out and touch Dan again, make sure he's still really here. Something in Dan's tone, though... "...The heart problems. How bad are they?" Quietly.

Dan
"Ah," Dan nods, looking through them, smiling over some of the... Odd ones.

"They're, uhm... I've got a little while yet. Two or three years... Or so. All that running and fighting and nearly bleeding to death and then gaining weight and losing it again." He shrugs, still deliberately not looking at Adrian.

Adrian
Adrian freezes, and slowly lowers the mug he's holding to the countertop, not entirely trusting his grip. He's known that Dan hasn't always taken care of himself like he has (face it, few people do) but somehow the idea of Dan predeceasing him has never been something Adrian has been willing to consider. Dan was supposed to live to a ripe old age and pass away in the company of his family. "Oh, Dan," he whispers.

Dan
Dan looks at him at this, somehow surprised. Truth be told, nobody has ever expressed much sympathy for him before, that is, besides some sweet nurses who were sad that the nice old man that they were taking care of had no family or friends to visit him, that he might die alone. Adrian's knowledge of it at all and subsequent reaction are enough to make Dan's eyes sting with tears yet again.

"My doctor seems to think he can give me some more time if I let him put a pacemaker in me, but... That's if I survive the surgery at all and... And..." He can't bring himself to say 'I don't want to live that much longer,' seeing already how Adrian is taking just this. He looks away, his words dying with him.

Adrian
Adrian hears what Dan's not saying...and he knows. He knows that feeling all too well, and there are times (there have been many of them) when he's thought that lying down and slipping away would have been the best option. Something has always stopped him, though.

"If we can send you back," he starts. "The medical technology where we came from-- it's more advanced, you know that. They could save you, give you a lot more time..." He stops. Here he is again, making Dan's decisions for him, but he can't help but speak.

Dan
"But if I don't make it?" he shoots back sharply, almost bitterly. "If they try and I die anyway? Is it fair to do that to my family? To die once and then come back just to leave them again? I think I'd rather die here and spare them the heartache."

Adrian
Adrian opens his mouth and then closes it. But at least they'd know, then...He knows that Dan has thought all of this through, and has to decide what to do with the remainder of his time. "Whatever you decide," he whispers.

Dan
Dan sniffs and fumbles with something on the counter, still not looking up. "Jesus, Adrian, I'm just..." He reaches under his glasses to rub at his eyes. "Just ignore me tonight. I'm not thinking rationally.

"There's nothing I want more than to hold Laurie in my arms again. Or tell Mason how much I love him and how proud I am of him. You know... I missed everything? His first car. His graduation from high school. His first girlfriend. Or... Or boyfriend. I missed it all." He's crying openly now. "And I wish I could take it all back and be there but... But not like this."

Adrian
And it's all Adrian's doing, yet again-- Dan's world crumbling away from him, and in what is arguably a far crueler fashion this time. Numbly, and with tears stinging his eyes again, Adrian reaches out, and gathers Dan into his arms.

Dan
Dan tries to resist for a moment, but then he's practically clutching at the taller man, trying to pull him closer and muffling the sounds of his hiccupping breaths against his shoulder. Perhaps he has not come to terms with this as completely as he thought. "God, I... I don't know what I want."

Adrian
Adrian pulls Dan in as if he's trying to shut out the outside world, stroking his back gently. He lowers his head, burying his face in Dan's neck. He's still struggling with all his might not to give in to tears-- not that Dan hasn't seen him cry before, in one of his weaker moments-- and after a while he realizes that he's whispering something, not even really audible, into Dan's shoulder, a litany of apologies.

Dan
Dan cries himself out. It doesn't take long, especially not when he's been so lost in his own misery for so long. When he finally does stop crying, he doesn't yet push Adrian away, setting his forehead to Adrian's shoulder and breathing in the small space between their chests. "Sorry," he whispers, lifting his head. "I uh..." He clears his throat, not having anything to say, not even that apology.

Adrian
Adrian holds onto him as his sobs subside into quiet breathing, his own eyes red-rimmed. When Dan looks up, and actually apologizes, he only shakes his head, in firm denial of the need for the apology.

Dan
His breath catches in his chest as he sucks it in, looking over Adrian's face. "I know. Habit." The corner of his mouth quirks.

Adrian
"They're hard to break, yes." Dryly, and the corner of Adrian's mouth twitches, to match. He realizes that he's still holding onto Dan, but can't quite bring himself to let go just yet. Dan may have had time to come to terms with his situation...but it will be a long time, if ever, before Adrian can.

Dan
It's not lost on Dan either, but the feeling of being embraced by one so important to him (even if often only negatively so) is too much to pass up. His arms tighten around Adrian, hugging him tightly for a moment, cheek to cheek, then pulls away slowly. "God, I'm exhausted. Maybe I wont need that tea after all."

Adrian
Adrian disengages slowly, then, in an obvious effort to occupy himself, looks under the lid of the teapot...and raises an eyebrow. "Hmm. That might be just as well, considering how strong it's gotten. Perhaps you like it that way, though? I can always make some more, if you would like."

Dan
Dan puts a hand on Adrian's shoulder, shaking his head. "This will be fine. No need to make more."

He looks at Adrian, eying the side of his face. He seems to have... Matured some since coming here, calmed down and settled away from all his grandiosity and self-importance. He quite likes this change. But old habits do die hard, and he is still very much the Adrian Veidt that he remembers.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate--" He pauses for a moment, looking down as a cat twines in and out of his and Adrian's legs. "Oh, hello there. Nice of you to join us."

Adrian
"Aha, there you are. I was wondering where you had gotten to." Adrian speaks to the large, fluffy gray cat matter-of-factly, before reaching down and picking her up. "This is Merytamun." He eyes Dan; what had he been saying about old habits? "She has her own part to play in keeping me sane." The cat, for her part, settles into Adrian's arm happily, rather lazily stretching out a paw towards Dan.

Dan
Dan smiles warmly, never having gotten over his love for animals. He reaches out and strokes a hand over her. "Isn't that what pets are supposed to do? Keep us in line."

He scratches under her chin. "Christ, she is fluffy."

Adrian
Merytamun's purring kicks up to a whole new level at Dan's touch, and Adrian smiles in response. "They're very good at that."

He makes a face. "Yes, I've been tempted to collect all the fur and have a scarf made or something. It's a shame to let it go to waste." He looks down at the cat, who is remarkably limp...and with an ease born of long practice, slings her across his shoulders, much like an animated, purring shawl, thereby freeing his hands to fill the tea mugs.

Dan
Dan smiles in return, a bit of lighthearted joy filling him at the fact that Adrian's cat apparently likes him. That's what cats are good for after all. "Oh, jeez. Well, it'd certainly be nice and soft." He finds himself chuckling as the cat literally functions as a scarf over Adrian's shoulders and he reaches to pet her again. "She's adorable. You always know how to pick 'em, don't you?" he nudges Adrian gently. He feels a bit better, after coming here, having a good cry and hashing out so much of his dismay. Plus. Kitty.

Adrian
"Well...I can't claim any great skill in this case. She fell into my lap...a feat she's repeated, literally, on many subsequent occasions. If she suddenly goes hurtling past, don't be startled; let's just say the 'feline grace' gene seems to have passed her by." Adrian scratches the cat on the head, as if in apology, but he's beginning to feel a little bit better himself, her presence (as he hinted) always helpful in calming him down. Plus, it's obvious that her charms are helping Dan, as well, and he's suddenly proud of her. Kitty, indeed.

He hands Dan a now-full tea mug, with an inquisitive look. "Let me go and get things ready. I imagine you don't have anything with you, but I can certainly find you some sleepwear that might not fit too badly."

Dan
Dan scratches behind her ears, smiling softly to himself. "That's all right. I can already see why you kept her."

He enjoys Adrian's humility, taking the mug from him. "Thank you." He has a sip. It's strong, but by the association that he has with chamomile and bed, even this first sip has him feeling drowsy and relaxed. "Actually," he says as he starts towards the living room again, "I, uh, had planned to spend the night in the city, whether you welcomed me or not. I rented a motel room, but everything is still in my car."

Before Adrian can offer, he adds, "But I think we've both had enough jostling about tonight that we can just leave it." He plants himself on the sofa one last time, placing his cup down on the table, careful to avoid Adrian's papers. "Besides, I've got an undershirt and boxers and they'll do just fine. Don't worry about it."

Adrian
"Alright, then. Let me know when you're ready, and I'll show you where it is." Adrian picks up his own mug and follows Dan into the living room. He's a bit at a loss-- his skin is crawling with the urge to do something, anything, to help resolve the situation-- but he realizes that now is not the time, so he hesitates only briefly before sitting down again himself, and moving the cat to his lap.

Dan
"Oh, I thought you said you were going to go get something ready." He looks up at Adrian, pleased at least when he comes to sit beside him. He heaves a deep sigh with something like contentment, at least for the evening, and takes his cup again, sinking into the cushions on the sofa. He has a sip, enjoying the silence for the first time in quite a while, reaching out to stroke Merytamun.

Adrian
"Since you've got what you need, there's very little to get ready." Adrian takes a drink from his own cup, the elixir helping to calm his own nerves as well. It'll be a long night, still, but he'll enjoy the illusion of peace while he can get it. He smiles at his cat's obvious happiness at having made a new friend, and lets his eyes drift shut while he waits.

Dan
Dan nods, content to just sit for a while. He's a third of the way through his mug when he speaks again. "I made my money in LEDs of all things. I never thought my knowledge of it was particularly advanced, but," he shrugs, his shoulder bumping Adrian's. "I guess when you don't have Doctor Manhattan to make everything for you, things go a bit slower."

Adrian
Adrian nods. "It was very surprising, yes, when I first arrived. There are a great many things we've tended to take for granted, without realizing the sheer human ingenuity involved. The extent to which they still depend on fossil fuels for passenger vehicles..." He shakes his head. "I thought about reproducing my efforts with the spark hydrants, but it looks like GE has arrived at that idea on their own."

Dan
Dan smiles to himself, remembering such conversations he and his friend used to have, of all sorts of subjects, all matters of business and science, and the way Laurie would just cross her arms and sigh.

"Yeah, I remember reading about that and thinking of you." He smiles sadly. "Maybe you can do something to make them more affordable. In this economy and with the rate of production, it's not going to make any difference for quite a long time, and the environment is already suffering. That was one thing that shocked me. New York is so... Filthy. The air, y'know?"

Adrian
"I agree, something must be done. I've thought about it, but--" Adrian looks at Dan-- "I've sometimes had difficulty deciding when and where I should bring my knowledge to bear."

He takes a sip of his tea, then looks up; there's a question he hasn't asked. "If you haven't been living in New York, where have you been living?" He carefully refrains from asking where "home" is. He knows the answer to that already.

Dan
Dan looks at him closely. "Are you afraid to? I mean, sure, you've gone a overboard in the past, but even small improvements can help. And these folks definitely need it at the rate they're going."

"I'm living a few hours outside the city. In the country. I, uh... Heh, I bought out the home that, y'know, was my parents' summer home before and made it my own. Minus the garage for Archie."

Adrian
A faint smile. "It sounds like a beautiful place. I'm glad the same house was there for you, in this world."

Adrian looks down at the mug in his hands, and there's a long pause before he speaks again. "Afraid...yes, there's an element of that. As you've so diplomatically put it, I haven't been very...moderate in my attempts at assistance, at times. I don't entirely trust my own judgment, anymore." Especially when one's best intentions have so many unintended consequences, on a personal scale...and the idea of "acceptable sacrifice" has become oppressive through long, excruciating familiarity.

Dan
"Yeah, well, it's full of junk now. For a while there, I built a lot of things. Then I just didn't feel like it anymore so I stopped and now it's all just clutter."

Dan swallows and looks down at this speech. "See, that's the thing, Adrian. Sometimes, when you would do things, it was like you would act like you were the only person in the world, like you were the only one that had any decisions to make in all of it. Now, I know you don't actually think that's true but even your most selfless actions could be kind of selfish at the same time."

He gives Adrian a fond look, trying to be gentle about this. "Just because you're the smartest man in the world doesn't mean you always have to go it alone. It's okay to consult other people from time to time. Like you did with me. And things got better for quite a while after that, if you recall."

Adrian
Adrian has been listening, quietly looking at Dan as he speaks. "I do recall." He smiles, fondly-- as dark as those days were, there had been an element of peace, real peace, in them. And he's quite certain that that's the only reason he's still alive today.

Adrian sighs. "Habit...When I was young, as many young people do, I thought I was the only person-- the only being, really-- to see things clearly. And most young people lose that conviction as they grow into the wider world, but I...never had that particular epiphany." He stops, and strokes Merytamun before continuing. "And by the time I had the evidence of my own humanity, such as it was, before me, I was so used to being alone"- and deserving to be alone- "that that was the only thing that made sense." He shrugs.

Dan
He smirks softly. "And you told me to grow up all those years ago." He lightly pats Adrian on the knee and leans forward, putting his cup on the table again.

"Well, I think I'd better lie down before I can't get up from this sofa again." He looks at Adrian over his shoulder. "Are you certain that it's all right that I have your room? I don't want to put you out."

Adrian
"Absolutely." Adrian rises to his feet, still smiling faintly at the uncomfortable recollection, and deposits the cat on the couch, while holding out a hand to help Dan to rise.

Once they're both vertical, he leads the way down the hall to his bedroom, which is just as sedately done as the rest of the apartment, and contains a very comfortable-looking king-size bed, but-- surprisingly, perhaps-- no purple.

Dan
Dan takes the help standing, then follows behind him through the flat, looking about him as they go.

He smiles when they reach the bedroom... Of course it's a king size. He looks at Adrian and wonders just how much has changed from all those years ago. After all, why would a man who lives a modestly quiet life need such a big bed? Especially a man as skinny as Adrian. It makes Dan feel surprised to know that Adrian even has a a guest bedroom. "Sometimes never change, do they?" he says as they enter. "Though I noticed the lack of overwhelming Egyptian theme."

Adrian
Adrian leans against the door frame. "I don't need the space, surely, but the cat demands her proper due." He glances down, not mentioning that he's also a restless sleeper, and the extra space comes in handy. As Dan knows, he's never slept well since Karnak, and has taken to grabbing sleep when he can, rather than maintaining much of a regular schedule. It's another thing he's resigned himself to.

"As for theme, I didn't bring my collection with me, and I haven't exactly had the inclination to reassemble one. No, I believe I'm done with that hobby." There are a few exceptions around his apartment, but that's all.

He opens the door to the bathroom. "There are fresh towels on the rack-- help yourself to anything you need. Is there anything else I can get for you?" He's trying his best not to be overbearingly solicitous, but he can't shake the lingering fear that this is all a dream, and that Dan will have vanished in the morning light.

Dan
Dan chuckles and steps into the room, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. "Well, I like it anyway." It is indeed quite comfortable. He turns on the bedside lamp then takes off his glasses and sets them aside, squinting at Adrian from across the room.

He sighs as Adrian asks him if he needs anything else. "No. You've been really great tonight, so... Thanks. But... I feel like a bad guest," (not that he is a guest, per se), "by going to bed so early. I mean, hell, it's only ten. It's not really fair to drop this on you and then go to sleep, y'know?"

Adrian
Adrian is shaking his head in firm dismissal almost before Dan finishes speaking. "No, not at all. It's been an exhausting day. I understand." And he does, but it disturbs him immensely to see Dan so worn-down. "If you should need anything at all during the night, just ask-- I'll be within earshot."

Dan
Dan nods. "All right. Thanks again. Good night." He stands up again and peels his sweater up and over his head, turning his back to Adrian to continue undressing down to just his boxers and the shirt he wore beneath it all.

He's absolutely exhausted, and when he peels back the blankets of Adrian's bed and crawls beneath, he almost can't muster up the will or energy to switch off the light by the bed, though he finally does, settling in after so rocky a night.

Adrian
Adrian, for his part, pulls the door softly closed behind him as he leaves. He stands just outside the door for a moment, as if unable to pull himself away...then shakes his head and walks back down the hall.

By rights he should return to grading his papers, or tidying up, or (far more importantly, now) plotting out the next steps to put the transport device back into working order, but he finds himself sitting back on the sofa, staring into the middle distance and not moving for a long time.

Finally, he gets up, turns off the lights, and moves into the guest bedroom. There's a small, low table against one wall, on which stand an assortment of objects: a bell, an oil lantern, and (most strikingly) a statuette of Anubis. A perceptive, or particularly nosy, guest might observe certain oddities about the statue-- how its base is hollow, and holds only a few photos and a memory card, with a list of names -- but Adrian makes no motion to touch it.

Instead, with deliberate and practiced motions, he lights the oil lamp, turns out the room light, and settles himself on his knees facing the table, palms up as if in supplication. He closes his eyes, inhaling deeply, and when he opens them again, perhaps it's only a trick of the lamplight that causes them to shine brighter and more intensely than usual.