How do they always find my bar??
Quick explanation of the bar layout so that this all makes sense: Its a giant dungeon like basement. When you walk down the stairs from the street, there is a hallway to your left with coat check and the bathrooms. To your right is a pretty big room with the bar, dj, dancefloor and all the other stuff you would expect to find in a bar. At the back of this room is another staircase, leading to a room for private parties and storage, also where the staff leaves their cell phones and bags. It is blocked by a huge prison style iron gate, held in place by a large metal bar that needs to be removed to open the the door.
Since, the more obviously something is off limits, the more every idiot thinks they have the right to go there, the staff, several times a night, has to go explain to people that they can't go there. We are all in the habit of keeping an eye on it, and since it takes minute to get the door open, people never really get in there.
Tuesday night, we were exceptionally busy, running around non-stop for hours, when I see a girl heading up the stairs. It was far too loud to even attempt to yell over the music to her, so i dropped what I was doing, and ran over there, just in time to see her struggling with the metal bar. The conversation goes as follows:
DB= Dumb Bitch
Me= Well, um, yeah...
Me: Excuse me, you can't go up there.
DB: Yes, I can! I am just getting my ticket out.
Me: No, you were trying to open the door. You need to go downstairs.
DB: NO! I need to get my coat! I have a ticket! (Waves a business card from a taxi company at me, complete with a taxi service name, phone number and a pcture of a taxi on it)
Me: Well, please stop trying to open the door, coat check is over there (points to across the bar) and that is not a coat check ticket, its a business card. Now please, GO DOWNSTAIRS.
DB: Actually, THIS is what the guy gave me. And NO, my coat is in THERE, and I am going to get my coat now. (Tries to open the door, while I am leaning against it)
Me: No, coat check is across the bar, that is storage and you are not permitted in there. GO DOWNSTAIRS.
DB: UM, NO, you are wrong. I put my coat in there and I have the ticket to prove it! (shoves the card in my face and tried to open the door AGAIN)
Me: No, you dumb bitch, GO DOWNSTAIRS NOW!! Listen to me, or I'm getting security.
DB: Don't (pats my face) Call (Pats my face again) Me (Repeat) a (yep) Dumb (...) Bitch (...)
Me: Then don't act like one, and now I'm getting security.
DB: NO, I am getting my coat. (Tries to push me away from the door)
Me: (Yells to the bartenders to get the bouncer)
DB: (Runs away)
So I station the bouncer at the bottom of the stairs, and go back behind the bar. DB and her friend come over to the bar, swearing that they gave their coats to the coat check guy UPSTAIRS, accuse me of stealing them, and show me the business card. Since I am at this point ready to toss them out on the street, I just tell them again where coat check is and to go there and stop arguing. DB gives me the finger.
One of my co-workers offers to go try to help, and spent 15 minutes trying to get the girls to go over and LOOK at where coat check is, since they thought we were just lying to them. Finally they walk over there and still insist that there is a different one upstairs. My boyfriend, my coworker, and a few random strangers suggest that she at least TRIES the coat check. Of course, she does, handing the very confused guy in there, the business card, and freaks out again that we are all plotting against her to steal her coat. Ten more minutes and they persuade her to go back into her wallet and look for another ticket.
What do you know?? There was a coat check ticket that corresponded to her stuff! She got it all back! And instead of apologizing, or something else reasonable, she stormed into the bathroom, slammed the door and cried, refusing to come out!