With profound apologies to Sam-I-am...
1. Take a rather nerdy front desk clerk who read enough Dr Seuss to her younger brothers that she still has some books memorized.
2. Place her in a sold-out hotel and expose her repeatedly to people who go to tremendous lenghts to avoid understanding that the hotel has no more rooms and that they must look for lodging elsewhere.
Out you're sold?
You're sold out?
Yes, we're sold out!
Yes we're sold out!
Do you know what that's about?
But I can stay, I have no doubt!
You cannot stay when we're sold out.
You cannot stay, so please get out.
Can I, if I stare and glare?
You cannot, if you stare and glare.
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
May I, if I ask real nice?
May I, if I ask you twice?
You cannot, if you ask real nice.
You cannot if you ask me twice.
You cannot, if you stare or glare.
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
Can I stay here on the floor?
Can I curl up by the door?
Not on the floor.
Not by the door.
Not if you're nice.
Not even twice!
You cannot if you stare and glare.
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
Can I? May I?
On the roof?
I won't roll off it like a goof!
You cannot, may not on the roof!
I'm sure you have some room for me
Out in the garden, in a tree?
You cannot, may not in a tree!
Not on the roof! We're full, you see!
You cannot, may not on the floor!
You cannot, may not by the door!
You cannot, if you ask real nice!
You cannot, if you ask me twice!
You cannot, if you stare and glare!
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
I'll fuss! And fuss!
And fuss! And fuss!
Can I, may I, if I fuss?
Not if you fuss! Not in a tree!
Not on the roof! Gawd! Leave me be!
You cannot, may not on the floor!
You cannot, may not by the door!
You cannot, if you ask real nice!
You cannot, if you ask me twice!
You cannot, if you stare and glare!
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
Say! On the desk!
Here on the desk!
Can I, may I, on the desk?
You cannot, may not, on the desk!
Can I, if I swear and cuss?
ESPECIALLY if you swear and cuss!
Not on the desk! Not if you fuss!
Not on the roof! Not in the tree!
I have no room here, can't you see?
Not if you're nice! Not on the floor!
Not even twice! Not by the door!
Not even if you stare and glare!
You cannot stay here anywhere!
What's this? You mean that you're sold out?
Oh yes! I mean that we're sold out!
Can I, hanging on the wall?
You cannot, may not on the wall!
Can I, in the restroom stall
You cannot, may not in the stall!
You cannot, may not on the wall!
You cannot, may not, if you fuss!
You cannot if you swear and cuss!
Not on the desk!
Not in a tree!
Not on the roof!
Gawd! Leave me be!
You cannot, may not on the floor!
You cannot, may not by the door!
You cannot, if you ask real nice!
You cannot, if you ask me twice!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
I cannot stay here.
So you say.
Try again, you'll find I may!
You'll find that I may stay I say!
Fine! If you will let me be,
I'll look and see what I can see!
...Hey! That time has come about!
It's time for me to go clock out!
So go sleep in the restroom stall!
Go hang yourself upon the wall!
Yes, you can stay and swear and cuss!
Sleep on the desk and raise a fuss!
Roll off the roof and land in a tree!
It's nothing more to do with me!
Yes, you can sleep here on the floor
And you can sleep beside the door!
And you can ask me mean, or nice!
Or ask me once or twice or thrice!
Or stay right here and stare and glare,
My shift is done so I DON'T CARE!
Just one more thing
On my way out:
Please tell the next clerk
We're sold out
2. Place her in a sold-out hotel and expose her repeatedly to people who go to tremendous lenghts to avoid understanding that the hotel has no more rooms and that they must look for lodging elsewhere.
Out you're sold?
You're sold out?
Yes, we're sold out!
Yes we're sold out!
Do you know what that's about?
But I can stay, I have no doubt!
You cannot stay when we're sold out.
You cannot stay, so please get out.
Can I, if I stare and glare?
You cannot, if you stare and glare.
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
May I, if I ask real nice?
May I, if I ask you twice?
You cannot, if you ask real nice.
You cannot if you ask me twice.
You cannot, if you stare or glare.
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
Can I stay here on the floor?
Can I curl up by the door?
Not on the floor.
Not by the door.
Not if you're nice.
Not even twice!
You cannot if you stare and glare.
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
Can I? May I?
On the roof?
I won't roll off it like a goof!
You cannot, may not on the roof!
I'm sure you have some room for me
Out in the garden, in a tree?
You cannot, may not in a tree!
Not on the roof! We're full, you see!
You cannot, may not on the floor!
You cannot, may not by the door!
You cannot, if you ask real nice!
You cannot, if you ask me twice!
You cannot, if you stare and glare!
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
I'll fuss! And fuss!
And fuss! And fuss!
Can I, may I, if I fuss?
Not if you fuss! Not in a tree!
Not on the roof! Gawd! Leave me be!
You cannot, may not on the floor!
You cannot, may not by the door!
You cannot, if you ask real nice!
You cannot, if you ask me twice!
You cannot, if you stare and glare!
You cannot stay here anywhere!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
Say! On the desk!
Here on the desk!
Can I, may I, on the desk?
You cannot, may not, on the desk!
Can I, if I swear and cuss?
ESPECIALLY if you swear and cuss!
Not on the desk! Not if you fuss!
Not on the roof! Not in the tree!
I have no room here, can't you see?
Not if you're nice! Not on the floor!
Not even twice! Not by the door!
Not even if you stare and glare!
You cannot stay here anywhere!
What's this? You mean that you're sold out?
Oh yes! I mean that we're sold out!
Can I, hanging on the wall?
You cannot, may not on the wall!
Can I, in the restroom stall
You cannot, may not in the stall!
You cannot, may not on the wall!
You cannot, may not, if you fuss!
You cannot if you swear and cuss!
Not on the desk!
Not in a tree!
Not on the roof!
Gawd! Leave me be!
You cannot, may not on the floor!
You cannot, may not by the door!
You cannot, if you ask real nice!
You cannot, if you ask me twice!
You cannot stay when we're sold out!
You cannot stay here! Please get out!
I cannot stay here.
So you say.
Try again, you'll find I may!
You'll find that I may stay I say!
Fine! If you will let me be,
I'll look and see what I can see!
...Hey! That time has come about!
It's time for me to go clock out!
So go sleep in the restroom stall!
Go hang yourself upon the wall!
Yes, you can stay and swear and cuss!
Sleep on the desk and raise a fuss!
Roll off the roof and land in a tree!
It's nothing more to do with me!
Yes, you can sleep here on the floor
And you can sleep beside the door!
And you can ask me mean, or nice!
Or ask me once or twice or thrice!
Or stay right here and stare and glare,
My shift is done so I DON'T CARE!
Just one more thing
On my way out:
Please tell the next clerk
We're sold out