And its only Monday *sigh*
Hey folks! More excitement from the museum! (bet you didn't know museums had so much drama :P )
So yeah, I'm out of my office for like a minute to get the mail and here's what I have waiting for me when I walk back into the exhibit room:
So there's this woman standing in front of one of the exhibits (I then realize I had forgotten to turn on the internal florescent lights, but this seems to have escaped her notice). I will refer to the dear lady as Soccer Mom (SM), and myself as HC (hot curator)---cause I can.
SM: Hi, I'm here about the research.
HC: I'm sorry. What research, exactly?
SM: I called last week and talked to Rich (my boss who does not actually work with the museum, just our finances; who by the way doesn't answer to "Rich") and he said he'd pull research for me. It was supposed to be done Friday. And I couldn't get here because of the snow and blah blah blah....
HC: I'm sorry but I still don't know to what you're referring (and yes my grammar is that special). What information are you looking for.
SM: I'm looking for research on [person somehow connected to subject of museum].
HC: Um, I'm not familiar with that name. What did she do, specifically? What is she famous for?
SM: I don't know, Rich gave me the name and said he'd pull the research.
HC: Well, what do you need this for. I could go through the archives, what kind of time frame are we looking at?
SM: I was supposed to have it last week. Its for my daughter's school project. She already had to get an extension on it. I need this information today. Do you have books I can look through, maybe I'll be able to find it.
HC (for reals?): No, I'm afraid we don't have a digitalized data base [a rant for another time], and I would have to go through the archives by hand.
[at this point she looks considerably less happy to be here]
SM: Are you sure? Do you have books? Maybe she's in books.
HC [sure, whatever, so I bounce over to the gift shop and page through the 2 books that may be remotely useful] I'm sorry ma'am, but there isn't anything in the first book about this woman, and she's mentioned in a single sentence in this second book.
SM: But my daughter needs 5-6 sources! Do you think I'd find her on the Internet?
HC: [wait! you didn't START on the Internet you stupid cow!!??!] I don't know ma'am.
SM: Can I check this book out?
HC: Sure [why not? that single sentence will sure be useful in a report that needs 5-6 sources, dumbass]
SM: Well, I guess I'm going to have to go to the library.
At that point I stopped listening. First. Why the hell wasn't her daughter doing her own damn research. Second, I asked what the research was for, all they had to do was pick a famous dead woman. No, seriously, those were the ONLY guidelines for subject. A Famous. Dead. Woman. So, what in a deity's name would possess you to call a niche museum and ask the financial director who to research? And why would you continue to try to research somebody so fucking obscure that Google can't help you. And last, and certainly the most heinous offense: WHY DID YOU WAIT TILL THE PROJECT WAS LATE TO EVEN CONSIDER GOING TO THE LIBRARY. True, we are a small town, but we have 6 public library branches. We have three large colleges in town. Each of them has at least one research library that gives nerds orgasms just thinking about. SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT GO TO A LIBRARY!?!?!?
My only hope is that this poor girl doesn't fail life because her mother so obviously has.
Oh, and for the record. Famous dead women I can think of off the top of my head: ANY of the First Lady's till like 1968. Clara Barton, Florence Nightengale. Marie Curie. Sojourner Truth, Hildegarde von Bingen, Anne Frank, Marylin Monroe, Sonja Henie, Audrey Hepburn, Kathrine Hepburn. And oh my god the list is ENDLESS (beautifully endless, I might add).
Guys you will NOT believe this. I just got a call from a community college across town. Evidently Soccer Mom called them asking if they had a different search engine to look for this random dead woman. And I'm talking to this poor operator and she just doesn't believe it! So I tell the operator that Soccer Mom had been here not 4 hours before. And Phone Operator is like, we use Google, and I'm like, yeah if Google can't help you, neither can I. And we're just laughing it up. So I tell Phone Operator what this woman said about "maybe trying a library." I thought this poor girl was going to die. We laughed! I had to call my boyfriend (who I vented to at lunch) so I could laugh out loud with somebody else! So Soccer Mom has now made my day. Hell, maybe even my whole week, cause she's such a dumbass she's driving all over the city on some fucking wild goose chase. Karma is efficient, no?
So now, about 45 minutes after poor Phone Operator calls, I get another phone call. This time its the girl's GRANDMOTHER, trying to find information for her dear granddaughter. I told Grandma that she was the third person to contact the museum looking for this info, and I told her the same thing I told the other two, that I would have to search the archive by hand and I don't have time to do that this afternoon. So Grandma is like, could I come and go through the archive? And I'm like, no (honestly, if that were possible wouldn't I have let Soccer Mom do that this morning?) Grandma apologized for bothering me and said good day. I had trouble not laughing into the phone. Cause OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! This is getting surreal. But still hilarious!
So yeah, I'm out of my office for like a minute to get the mail and here's what I have waiting for me when I walk back into the exhibit room:
So there's this woman standing in front of one of the exhibits (I then realize I had forgotten to turn on the internal florescent lights, but this seems to have escaped her notice). I will refer to the dear lady as Soccer Mom (SM), and myself as HC (hot curator)---cause I can.
SM: Hi, I'm here about the research.
HC: I'm sorry. What research, exactly?
SM: I called last week and talked to Rich (my boss who does not actually work with the museum, just our finances; who by the way doesn't answer to "Rich") and he said he'd pull research for me. It was supposed to be done Friday. And I couldn't get here because of the snow and blah blah blah....
HC: I'm sorry but I still don't know to what you're referring (and yes my grammar is that special). What information are you looking for.
SM: I'm looking for research on [person somehow connected to subject of museum].
HC: Um, I'm not familiar with that name. What did she do, specifically? What is she famous for?
SM: I don't know, Rich gave me the name and said he'd pull the research.
HC: Well, what do you need this for. I could go through the archives, what kind of time frame are we looking at?
SM: I was supposed to have it last week. Its for my daughter's school project. She already had to get an extension on it. I need this information today. Do you have books I can look through, maybe I'll be able to find it.
HC (for reals?): No, I'm afraid we don't have a digitalized data base [a rant for another time], and I would have to go through the archives by hand.
[at this point she looks considerably less happy to be here]
SM: Are you sure? Do you have books? Maybe she's in books.
HC [sure, whatever, so I bounce over to the gift shop and page through the 2 books that may be remotely useful] I'm sorry ma'am, but there isn't anything in the first book about this woman, and she's mentioned in a single sentence in this second book.
SM: But my daughter needs 5-6 sources! Do you think I'd find her on the Internet?
HC: [wait! you didn't START on the Internet you stupid cow!!??!] I don't know ma'am.
SM: Can I check this book out?
HC: Sure [why not? that single sentence will sure be useful in a report that needs 5-6 sources, dumbass]
SM: Well, I guess I'm going to have to go to the library.
At that point I stopped listening. First. Why the hell wasn't her daughter doing her own damn research. Second, I asked what the research was for, all they had to do was pick a famous dead woman. No, seriously, those were the ONLY guidelines for subject. A Famous. Dead. Woman. So, what in a deity's name would possess you to call a niche museum and ask the financial director who to research? And why would you continue to try to research somebody so fucking obscure that Google can't help you. And last, and certainly the most heinous offense: WHY DID YOU WAIT TILL THE PROJECT WAS LATE TO EVEN CONSIDER GOING TO THE LIBRARY. True, we are a small town, but we have 6 public library branches. We have three large colleges in town. Each of them has at least one research library that gives nerds orgasms just thinking about. SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT GO TO A LIBRARY!?!?!?
My only hope is that this poor girl doesn't fail life because her mother so obviously has.
Oh, and for the record. Famous dead women I can think of off the top of my head: ANY of the First Lady's till like 1968. Clara Barton, Florence Nightengale. Marie Curie. Sojourner Truth, Hildegarde von Bingen, Anne Frank, Marylin Monroe, Sonja Henie, Audrey Hepburn, Kathrine Hepburn. And oh my god the list is ENDLESS (beautifully endless, I might add).
Guys you will NOT believe this. I just got a call from a community college across town. Evidently Soccer Mom called them asking if they had a different search engine to look for this random dead woman. And I'm talking to this poor operator and she just doesn't believe it! So I tell the operator that Soccer Mom had been here not 4 hours before. And Phone Operator is like, we use Google, and I'm like, yeah if Google can't help you, neither can I. And we're just laughing it up. So I tell Phone Operator what this woman said about "maybe trying a library." I thought this poor girl was going to die. We laughed! I had to call my boyfriend (who I vented to at lunch) so I could laugh out loud with somebody else! So Soccer Mom has now made my day. Hell, maybe even my whole week, cause she's such a dumbass she's driving all over the city on some fucking wild goose chase. Karma is efficient, no?
So now, about 45 minutes after poor Phone Operator calls, I get another phone call. This time its the girl's GRANDMOTHER, trying to find information for her dear granddaughter. I told Grandma that she was the third person to contact the museum looking for this info, and I told her the same thing I told the other two, that I would have to search the archive by hand and I don't have time to do that this afternoon. So Grandma is like, could I come and go through the archive? And I'm like, no (honestly, if that were possible wouldn't I have let Soccer Mom do that this morning?) Grandma apologized for bothering me and said good day. I had trouble not laughing into the phone. Cause OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! This is getting surreal. But still hilarious!