bruises that won't heal (lost - miles, lara)
Title: Bruises That Won’t Heal
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairing: Lara/Dr. Chang, Miles
Rating: PG
Notes: 484 words. Written for fictionlost . Prompt: heartbreak.
The first time she hears his name is halfway through the shift of her second job. She’s waitressing again, after being ‘let go’ from the last Chinese restaurant, and the mention catches her off guard. She never forgot, but she naively thinks she would’ve healed by now.
“…yes, Dr. Chang did mention that.”
“So it’s still going ahead, I presume?”
There’s a small silence at the table as the two guests notice her stillness. Lara finally steadies her shaking hand and manages to refill their pot of tea without spilling. She walks quickly away, vaguely hearing the two starting conversing again, and doesn’t even study or glance at the two men throughout the night.
Lara keeps her head down for the rest of her shift, and even though they depart after their meal, she hangs up her waist apron as soon as she’s allowed. After leaving the restaurant and its stifling air, she sits in her car for a long time, until she can put the key in the ignition and drive home.
Miles is twelve, and he was only a year old when Lara’s husband ordered them on the submarine. His dad. He argues with his mum a lot. Usually it’s just the trivial things - homework, hairstyles; but sometimes it’s the other stuff. His dad. Dead people.
Lara says Miles doesn’t understand why his dad left. Of course he doesn’t understand. His mum won’t talk about it properly. All he got was that his dad was a scientist, and he is gone. He abandoned them and, if she got angry enough, he never cared about them. Miles thinks that Lara still loves his dad sometimes, but he can’t see why. Why would someone love another, if they just left them? Surely love meant sticking together always.
That’s what they argue about, anyway. But he doesn’t want to say he thinks his mum resents him, sometimes. He’s learnt not to talk to talk about dead people to her, or ghosts, or whatever they are. And sometimes Miles thinks that he reminds her of his dad. Every now and then, she’ll look at him like she misses him with all her heart, and hates him at the same time.
But after a second it’ll past and he wonders if he really saw it there in the first place.
Miles is four when he asks who his daddy is. She’s not prepared for the question, though she really ought to know it was coming. Ever since he’d started playing with other kids, she’d been anticipating the question, but she tends to try not to think of it. Now, she leans down to him and looks him in the eyes. Miles is still too small to understand, but he knows she’s sad, and he puts on his ‘serious face’.
“He’s gone, Miles.”
“Gone?”
Lara hugs little Miles close.
“Yeah, baby. It’s just you and me.”