(no subject)
Football fanfic written for my assignment due tomorrow... Bet you never saw this coming! :P
Special thanks to twentythree0ate & pippopippo for putting up with my whining and brainstorming at them over this assignment, & darkblue for the above, but also making it happen to the point of having to spoon feed me. ♥
Two Footballers' Reactions to Fan Fiction
1. Cesc Fabregas
When Robin enters Cesc's place he thinks something has exploded. There are clothes flung everywhere, and he can hear Cesc grumbling from somewhere in the house.
"Hello?" he calls.
Cesc appears, looking furious. "They think all I do is watch TV!" He grabs a cushion off his couch and throws it into his suitcase and begins pacing madly.
"Cesc, are you planning to pack the kitchen sink too?" Robin smiles at the mess before beginning to sort some semblance of order to Cesc’s overflowing suitcase.
"Why would I need a kitchen sink?! Are they saying that now too?! That Cesc likes kitchen sinks and Desperate Housewives?! That is all Cesc is allowed to like. Let's rule Cesc's life for him because he is too stupid to do anything except watch TV!"
Robin decides to drop his attempt at humour and decides to try a new tact. He returns the cushion back on to the couch.
"Who are they, Cesc?"
"They? They! They are... are... everyone!! Everyone everywhere!"
"And who is everyone everywhere?" Out goes the set of salt and pepper shakers, complete with a spice rack.
"You know! People! Everyone! Everywhere!"
"But Cesc, I'm someone. I'm somewhere and I do not think that." Robin briefly wonders when Cesc acquired a pair of flippers and tosses them to the side.
"No! I mean, on the internet."
Robin has unearthed a cactus from below five packets of marshmallows. He gingerly picks it up, half of the dirt having spilt over the remaining objects.
"The internet?" He repeats, absently wondering why on earth Cesc packed a cactus.
"These people! They're from all over the world and they're all writing these stories about me, well, not just me, but also you, and Tomas and Gael and Sergio and Nando and everyone!"
"But if they're writing about all of us-"
"No, Robin! You don't understand! I'm the only one that they say is a kid! All I like is TV and Desperate Housewives! Just because in that one interview I mentioned it. It was just a throwaway comment! They're never going to forget are they?"
"Wait," Robin puts down the bicycle pump, "they write about me too? What do they-" Robin is distracted by the next object he frees from Cesc's suitcase. He brushes the dirt off the cover and tries not to laugh when he sees it's the Desperate Housewives box set.
2. Andriy Shevchenko
Andriy Shevchenko thinks things have gone too far. Was it not enough that he moved from Milan to London? Not only had he left the team that was his second family, but now his career was taking a dive as well.
But even that did not stop the rumours.
Andriy folds the paper roughly in half, the face of his friend in the number 22 red and black jersey creasing across the neck. He sighs, looking across the breakfast table at his ex-model wife and picks up his coffee.
How could everything go so wrong? He laments. His coffee spills from the sudden jerk of his hands, splashing the folded newspaper. His wife does not notice.
She did not notice the rumours either. Growing heavy with child she did not question his sudden acquiesce with her wishes for their move, unlike everyone else. Though, why should she? The move had made them richer, and their children now were surrounded by English, her native language, which she wanted them to learn. Her wishes had come true.
He had used this as his shield to combat the public. Her wishes became his to prove that his family came first. But still the rumours increased.
Now instead of just being clandestine lovers, they had become akin to Romeo and Juliet, beating out the Titanic as the modern, tragic love story. They were Andriy and Ricky, Sheva and Kaká, a magical partnership on the field, which somehow translated to also meaning off the field, but destined to be separated by the evil powers that be. The irony being that he, himself, had instigated the separation that launched them to mythical status, and that the "evil power" was his good friend, Roman Abramovich helping him out. Never mind the fact that Kaká is a devout Christian to the extent that his favourite book is the Bible, and that they’re both married to beautiful women, which made it just plain ridiculous.
They had even begun to blame his current poor form on his separation from Kaká. For once, he thinks, reading the coffee-stained score lines, they could actually be right.
Special thanks to twentythree0ate & pippopippo for putting up with my whining and brainstorming at them over this assignment, & darkblue for the above, but also making it happen to the point of having to spoon feed me. ♥
Two Footballers' Reactions to Fan Fiction
1. Cesc Fabregas
When Robin enters Cesc's place he thinks something has exploded. There are clothes flung everywhere, and he can hear Cesc grumbling from somewhere in the house.
"Hello?" he calls.
Cesc appears, looking furious. "They think all I do is watch TV!" He grabs a cushion off his couch and throws it into his suitcase and begins pacing madly.
"Cesc, are you planning to pack the kitchen sink too?" Robin smiles at the mess before beginning to sort some semblance of order to Cesc’s overflowing suitcase.
"Why would I need a kitchen sink?! Are they saying that now too?! That Cesc likes kitchen sinks and Desperate Housewives?! That is all Cesc is allowed to like. Let's rule Cesc's life for him because he is too stupid to do anything except watch TV!"
Robin decides to drop his attempt at humour and decides to try a new tact. He returns the cushion back on to the couch.
"Who are they, Cesc?"
"They? They! They are... are... everyone!! Everyone everywhere!"
"And who is everyone everywhere?" Out goes the set of salt and pepper shakers, complete with a spice rack.
"You know! People! Everyone! Everywhere!"
"But Cesc, I'm someone. I'm somewhere and I do not think that." Robin briefly wonders when Cesc acquired a pair of flippers and tosses them to the side.
"No! I mean, on the internet."
Robin has unearthed a cactus from below five packets of marshmallows. He gingerly picks it up, half of the dirt having spilt over the remaining objects.
"The internet?" He repeats, absently wondering why on earth Cesc packed a cactus.
"These people! They're from all over the world and they're all writing these stories about me, well, not just me, but also you, and Tomas and Gael and Sergio and Nando and everyone!"
"But if they're writing about all of us-"
"No, Robin! You don't understand! I'm the only one that they say is a kid! All I like is TV and Desperate Housewives! Just because in that one interview I mentioned it. It was just a throwaway comment! They're never going to forget are they?"
"Wait," Robin puts down the bicycle pump, "they write about me too? What do they-" Robin is distracted by the next object he frees from Cesc's suitcase. He brushes the dirt off the cover and tries not to laugh when he sees it's the Desperate Housewives box set.
2. Andriy Shevchenko
Andriy Shevchenko thinks things have gone too far. Was it not enough that he moved from Milan to London? Not only had he left the team that was his second family, but now his career was taking a dive as well.
But even that did not stop the rumours.
Andriy folds the paper roughly in half, the face of his friend in the number 22 red and black jersey creasing across the neck. He sighs, looking across the breakfast table at his ex-model wife and picks up his coffee.
How could everything go so wrong? He laments. His coffee spills from the sudden jerk of his hands, splashing the folded newspaper. His wife does not notice.
She did not notice the rumours either. Growing heavy with child she did not question his sudden acquiesce with her wishes for their move, unlike everyone else. Though, why should she? The move had made them richer, and their children now were surrounded by English, her native language, which she wanted them to learn. Her wishes had come true.
He had used this as his shield to combat the public. Her wishes became his to prove that his family came first. But still the rumours increased.
Now instead of just being clandestine lovers, they had become akin to Romeo and Juliet, beating out the Titanic as the modern, tragic love story. They were Andriy and Ricky, Sheva and Kaká, a magical partnership on the field, which somehow translated to also meaning off the field, but destined to be separated by the evil powers that be. The irony being that he, himself, had instigated the separation that launched them to mythical status, and that the "evil power" was his good friend, Roman Abramovich helping him out. Never mind the fact that Kaká is a devout Christian to the extent that his favourite book is the Bible, and that they’re both married to beautiful women, which made it just plain ridiculous.
They had even begun to blame his current poor form on his separation from Kaká. For once, he thinks, reading the coffee-stained score lines, they could actually be right.