Chapter Two!
This chapter was a ton of fun to write. It's just fun to imagine Kakashi wig out. Lol. Please read and respond. First time writing with humor, here.
Title: Springtime
Rating: PG-13 (A first for me)
Summary: Konoha’s Springtime of Youth is an actual holiday.
Chapter One
“The mumps?”
Pakkun nodded a little, looking up at Sakura in a very dull way. The same way Kakashi did. “Yup. Sasuke and Naruto are going to be quarantined too. Kakashi says your next mission is a vital one and your health is important.”
“But the mumps?!” Sakura felt a mixture of anger, frustration, and severe disappointment. “What are the odds of that happening on this week?”
Pakkun shifted his shoulders to shrug and looked away. Sakura slumped onto the end of her bed and frowned in a childish, pouting way.
“But last year, it was the flu…” She sighed, unable to believe her bad luck. Kakashi sure kept up on the disease outbreaks in Konoha. “I was hoping to go out this whole week. It’s Springtime this week.”
“I’ve heard.” Pakkun muttered.
Sakura eyed Pakkun for a long time. Finally, she folded her arms across her chest and moved to stand in front of the little dog. “You know, I am a medical ninja. It would be extremely easy to find out if you were lying or not.”
Pakkun didn’t reply.
“And if you werelying to me… I would skin you into a purse.” Sakura kneeled, so her face was almost level with the small dog’s. “But… you could be redeemed now… if you just confess…”
Pakkun sweat a lot. But didn’t reply.
Sakura frowned and picked up Pakkun, carrying him at arms length to her window. “I don’t know what Kakashi’s deal is. But you can tell him that I am going to take my chances.”
“Sure you won’t reconsider? Mumps… they’re… itchy, I hear.” Pakkun stuttered, looking over his shoulder, nervously out the window. Sakura’s apartment was two stories above ground.
“Tell him that I know he’s lying for some reason or another. And I am not letting him ruin my Springtime again.” And without another word, she threw Pakkun as hard as she could out her window.
“You’re doing this again, Kakashi?” Tsunade sighed, looking over her papers at the Jounin standing before her desk.
“Just… give us a mission early. Please.” Kakashi wasn’t really in the mood to talk about this. He just wanted to get out of this sex-crazed town. He had to replace himself with a doppelganger just to get away from Kaori, a pretty nurse who apparently had been carrying a flame for him ever since his last trip to the hospital. Then Kurenai had wanted to talk to him as well. Anko had promised that she would find Kakashi, one way or another. And had licked her lips.
Kakashi shuddered.
“You should really just try to have some fun. Give your team mates a break. You’ve been gone for almost three weeks.” Tsunade muttered, looking at him with a raised brow.
“I don’t want to have fun, Hokage-sama. I want to work.”
“Well, think about your team mates then. Let them have fun.” Tsunade smirked.
Kakashi didn’t respond, but he had stiffened somewhat. The very thought was sickening for him.
“Look, Kakashi…” Tsunade stood up slowly and looked at the Jounin evenly. “I don’t know what happened to you on your Springtime, but it’s a tradition that no one is going to let go of any time soon.”
Kakashi wasn’t looking at Tsunade anymore. Now he was looking out her window, at his familiar that was flying full speed at him. Kakashi narrowed his eyes a little and opened the broad windows of the Hokage’s office.
“I didn’t know Pakkun was capable of flying.” Tsunade was standing beside Kakashi now, staring wide-eyed at the soaring canine. He appeared to be flailing in the air.
“He isn’t.” Kakashi said with a sigh and stepped off to the side to let Pakkun crash into the room.
Tsunade blinked, looking down at the dog. “Well, what did you expect? Sakura was my student for five years. She would know if mumps were upon Konoha. I’m surprised you got away with the flu last year.”
Kakashi smirked and leaned against the wall, folding his arms at his chest. “I thought I was pushing it this year.”
“That’s why he sent me.” Pakkun grumbled, rubbing his swollen eye with his paw. Kakashi spared him a glance and patted the dog on the head.
“Thanks, Pakkun. You can go before things get bad.”
“What is your deal with this stupid tradition anyway?” Tsunade was cornering Kakashi again, looking at him with a small smile on her mouth. The way she had her arms folded, it lifted her enormous breasts over the neckline in her robe. Kakashi felt sick.
“If you’re not giving my team a mission, then I am going to go.” Kakashi said quickly, feeling his face break out in a cold sweat. Tsunade was still closing in on him. Kakashi took a step back.
“What’s so wrong with a little fun for one week out of our busy year?” Despite Kakashi’s efforts, Tsunade had managed to get him into the far corner of her office. She put both her hands up, on either side of Kakashi’s head, trapping him. Pakkun cleared his throat.
“He was with a pretty girl…”
“Pakkun! I told you to go.” Kakashi choked out, not taking his eyes off Tsunade. He looked like a frightened animal. Sounded like one too.
“A pretty girl? Anyone I know?” Tsunade tipped her head in inquiry, but her voice was heavier now and her smile had only grown.
“No.” Kakashi snapped.
“It was Rin.” Pakkun blurted, watching the two with baggy, half lidded eyes.
“Pakkun!” Kakashi looked over at his summoned animal, horrified.
“Rin, eh? I knew Rin…” Tsunade leaned in and Kakashi felt the tips of her breasts touch softly against his chest. Kakashi swallowed a lump in his throat that had been growing and tried to remain composed. But he was failing.
“And she had one wild night with Kakashi…” Pakkun continued, only to yelp and poof from existence as Kakashi threw a kunai blade at him.
Tsunade smirked over her shoulder, at where Pakkun once was and where the blade was now, only to turn around to a scarecrow. Tsunade sighed and pushed the dummy Kakashi over and looked out her open window. She could see Kakashi bounding across rooftops. Towards Naruto’s apartment. Tsunade began to laugh.
“So… the story begins to unravel…”
“Naruto? Are you home?” Kakashi poked his head in through the window of Naruto’s single room apartment. “I brought lunch.”
“Kakashi-Sensei? Is that you?” Came the muffled voice from behind the door to Naruto’s bathroom. There was a flush and Naruto opened the door, zipping his pants. He was in his orange pants and a white t-shirt. From the day before. Kakashi smiled a bit beneath his mask. Good ol’ Naruto wasn’t interested in love.
“Yeah. I hope I caught you before you ruined your meal with that awful ramen.” Kakashi stepped into the untidy apartment, placing a bowl of vegetables and fruit on the table.
Naruto grinned a little. “I’m a little surprised you came to see me, Kakashi-Sensei.” The Chuunin yawned and stretched his arms high over his head, before scratching his abdomen lazily. “We only got back yesterday. Unless we have another mission?” Naruto seemed to perk at this idea.
Kakashi laughed a little, unable to stop himself. Sometimes, he really really appreciated Naruto’s natural naivety. And his eagerness to make himself better. Kakashi had always loved that about his student.
“No, no. Just had a bit of time this morning. Thought I would bring some nutrition into your life.” He nodded to the bowl on the table. Naruto looked glumly at it and wrinkled his nose.
“I’ll eat it later.”
Kakashi leaned against the doorframe, looking at Naruto pick through the bowl. The boy had a look of disappointment on his face. Kakashi pondered briefly on how exactly he should approach the topic. He wondered if Naruto even knew what sex really was. It wasn’t like he had anyone around to teach him of the birds and the bees. Then Kakashi remembered (with a horribly cold stone resting in his stomach) that Jaraiya had been his mentor for a good three years.
In those three years, Kakashi had no idea what Naruto was doing. He never really found out, because at the time, Kakashi didn’t care. When Naruto came back, he had exceeded everyone’s expectations and that was all that was important.
“Um… Naruto?” Kakashi began slowly, watching the boy move to his kitchenette to the fridge.
Naruto responded with an inquiring grunt as he opened the large door. He didn’t even throw Kakashi a look when he did it.
Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and let his palm rest on the back of his head for a moment, contemplating. “Uh… Naruto… are you seeing anyone?”
Kakashi heard the milk that Naruto was drinking hit the floor with a very odd * Sploosh *. Naruto himself was still obscured by the icebox door. Kakashi perked a brow.
“Er… why do you ask, sensei?” Naruto made no attempt to mop up the growing puddle at his bare feet. ‘The milk had to be expired,’ Kakashi thought absently, ‘good milk can’t smell that bad.’
“It’s just… well, it’s that time of year again…” Kakashi cleared his throat. This was proving to be more complicated than he had anticipated.
Naruto didn’t reply. Just stood in front of the damn open fridge. It was picking at a nerve Kakashi didn’t know he had. He never left the refrigerator open longer than he needed to.
“It’s that damn Springtime of Youth crud that Gai is always feeding us. It’s that time of year, Naruto. And I just don’t want you to be, erm…” Kakashi paused and just stared at the open door now. At the wasted glowing light coming out of it and Naruto’s shadow. He waited for Naruto to do something and when he didn’t, Kakashi continued on. “…Manipulated. You know, you’re very good looking by most standards.”
Naruto FINALLY shut the door and turned a little to face his former teacher. “I’ve never really thought about it.” The boy really did look clueless. “And I know all about all the stuff that goes on this week.”
“You do?” Kakashi’s voice was amazingly high pitched for the casual expression he wore. Naruto raised a blonde brow a little.
“Yeah. I was with the Pervert Hermit for like… three years, remember?” Naruto laughed a little and scratched the back of his neck. “And it’s nice for you to offer, but I think that would be frowned upon…”
Kakashi did a double take on the boy, blinking several times. His mouth hung open. Was the little punk suggesting that…
“I don’t want to sleep with you!” Kakashi basically screamed. Naruto staggered back a little and looked at Kakashi in shock. He had never ever seen Kakashi lose composure. Ever. And this was definitely one hysterical Jounin
“Oh… Okay.” Naruto stammered. He looked at the time briefly, and then back towards Kakashi. “I have to get ready now, Sensei.”
Kakashi looked up at the blonde, his revealed eye suddenly looking very tired. “For what?”
“I have a whole bunch of company coming over today. I sure feel loved.” Naruto laughed a little. “Guess I was missed on our last mission, eh?”
Kakashi just stared for a moment. Then finally choked, “You know why they want to come over, right?”
Naruto blinked, pulling on a clean black shirt. Then he shrugged. “I dunno. Probably to train. It’s just Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Neji, Shino, and Shikamaru…” Naruto was beginning to grow uneasy with the ashen-faced Jounin. Kakashi looked like he needed some sleep. Bad.
“Okay… Sensei, thanks for coming over. Thanks for the fruit an’ stuff.” Naruto smiled politely and opened his front door for the Jounin.
Kakashi began to walk towards the door, debating on making this situation more awkward… or just leaving it be. The choice was obvious.
Kakashi turned around to face Naruto as he stepped out onto the apartment’s patio. “They’re all coming over to sleep with you. Not to train.”
Naruto laughed a little. “Of course we’re going to train. Pervert Hermit is coming to supervise. We’ve slept plenty.”
Kakashi took a collective breath and closed his eyes, praying for patience. “No, Naruto. Not sleep. They all want to have sex with you.”
This time, Naruto didn’t laugh, but he didn’t look like he cared or like he believed his former teacher. “I’m sure that’s not it. No one wants to have sex with me.”
Kakashi paused. “Why?”
“Because. I’m a virgin.” And with that last sentence, Naruto shut the door gently on the gaping, shrouded face of Hatake Kakashi.
Title: Springtime
Rating: PG-13 (A first for me)
Summary: Konoha’s Springtime of Youth is an actual holiday.
Chapter One
“The mumps?”
Pakkun nodded a little, looking up at Sakura in a very dull way. The same way Kakashi did. “Yup. Sasuke and Naruto are going to be quarantined too. Kakashi says your next mission is a vital one and your health is important.”
“But the mumps?!” Sakura felt a mixture of anger, frustration, and severe disappointment. “What are the odds of that happening on this week?”
Pakkun shifted his shoulders to shrug and looked away. Sakura slumped onto the end of her bed and frowned in a childish, pouting way.
“But last year, it was the flu…” She sighed, unable to believe her bad luck. Kakashi sure kept up on the disease outbreaks in Konoha. “I was hoping to go out this whole week. It’s Springtime this week.”
“I’ve heard.” Pakkun muttered.
Sakura eyed Pakkun for a long time. Finally, she folded her arms across her chest and moved to stand in front of the little dog. “You know, I am a medical ninja. It would be extremely easy to find out if you were lying or not.”
Pakkun didn’t reply.
“And if you werelying to me… I would skin you into a purse.” Sakura kneeled, so her face was almost level with the small dog’s. “But… you could be redeemed now… if you just confess…”
Pakkun sweat a lot. But didn’t reply.
Sakura frowned and picked up Pakkun, carrying him at arms length to her window. “I don’t know what Kakashi’s deal is. But you can tell him that I am going to take my chances.”
“Sure you won’t reconsider? Mumps… they’re… itchy, I hear.” Pakkun stuttered, looking over his shoulder, nervously out the window. Sakura’s apartment was two stories above ground.
“Tell him that I know he’s lying for some reason or another. And I am not letting him ruin my Springtime again.” And without another word, she threw Pakkun as hard as she could out her window.
“You’re doing this again, Kakashi?” Tsunade sighed, looking over her papers at the Jounin standing before her desk.
“Just… give us a mission early. Please.” Kakashi wasn’t really in the mood to talk about this. He just wanted to get out of this sex-crazed town. He had to replace himself with a doppelganger just to get away from Kaori, a pretty nurse who apparently had been carrying a flame for him ever since his last trip to the hospital. Then Kurenai had wanted to talk to him as well. Anko had promised that she would find Kakashi, one way or another. And had licked her lips.
Kakashi shuddered.
“You should really just try to have some fun. Give your team mates a break. You’ve been gone for almost three weeks.” Tsunade muttered, looking at him with a raised brow.
“I don’t want to have fun, Hokage-sama. I want to work.”
“Well, think about your team mates then. Let them have fun.” Tsunade smirked.
Kakashi didn’t respond, but he had stiffened somewhat. The very thought was sickening for him.
“Look, Kakashi…” Tsunade stood up slowly and looked at the Jounin evenly. “I don’t know what happened to you on your Springtime, but it’s a tradition that no one is going to let go of any time soon.”
Kakashi wasn’t looking at Tsunade anymore. Now he was looking out her window, at his familiar that was flying full speed at him. Kakashi narrowed his eyes a little and opened the broad windows of the Hokage’s office.
“I didn’t know Pakkun was capable of flying.” Tsunade was standing beside Kakashi now, staring wide-eyed at the soaring canine. He appeared to be flailing in the air.
“He isn’t.” Kakashi said with a sigh and stepped off to the side to let Pakkun crash into the room.
Tsunade blinked, looking down at the dog. “Well, what did you expect? Sakura was my student for five years. She would know if mumps were upon Konoha. I’m surprised you got away with the flu last year.”
Kakashi smirked and leaned against the wall, folding his arms at his chest. “I thought I was pushing it this year.”
“That’s why he sent me.” Pakkun grumbled, rubbing his swollen eye with his paw. Kakashi spared him a glance and patted the dog on the head.
“Thanks, Pakkun. You can go before things get bad.”
“What is your deal with this stupid tradition anyway?” Tsunade was cornering Kakashi again, looking at him with a small smile on her mouth. The way she had her arms folded, it lifted her enormous breasts over the neckline in her robe. Kakashi felt sick.
“If you’re not giving my team a mission, then I am going to go.” Kakashi said quickly, feeling his face break out in a cold sweat. Tsunade was still closing in on him. Kakashi took a step back.
“What’s so wrong with a little fun for one week out of our busy year?” Despite Kakashi’s efforts, Tsunade had managed to get him into the far corner of her office. She put both her hands up, on either side of Kakashi’s head, trapping him. Pakkun cleared his throat.
“He was with a pretty girl…”
“Pakkun! I told you to go.” Kakashi choked out, not taking his eyes off Tsunade. He looked like a frightened animal. Sounded like one too.
“A pretty girl? Anyone I know?” Tsunade tipped her head in inquiry, but her voice was heavier now and her smile had only grown.
“No.” Kakashi snapped.
“It was Rin.” Pakkun blurted, watching the two with baggy, half lidded eyes.
“Pakkun!” Kakashi looked over at his summoned animal, horrified.
“Rin, eh? I knew Rin…” Tsunade leaned in and Kakashi felt the tips of her breasts touch softly against his chest. Kakashi swallowed a lump in his throat that had been growing and tried to remain composed. But he was failing.
“And she had one wild night with Kakashi…” Pakkun continued, only to yelp and poof from existence as Kakashi threw a kunai blade at him.
Tsunade smirked over her shoulder, at where Pakkun once was and where the blade was now, only to turn around to a scarecrow. Tsunade sighed and pushed the dummy Kakashi over and looked out her open window. She could see Kakashi bounding across rooftops. Towards Naruto’s apartment. Tsunade began to laugh.
“So… the story begins to unravel…”
“Naruto? Are you home?” Kakashi poked his head in through the window of Naruto’s single room apartment. “I brought lunch.”
“Kakashi-Sensei? Is that you?” Came the muffled voice from behind the door to Naruto’s bathroom. There was a flush and Naruto opened the door, zipping his pants. He was in his orange pants and a white t-shirt. From the day before. Kakashi smiled a bit beneath his mask. Good ol’ Naruto wasn’t interested in love.
“Yeah. I hope I caught you before you ruined your meal with that awful ramen.” Kakashi stepped into the untidy apartment, placing a bowl of vegetables and fruit on the table.
Naruto grinned a little. “I’m a little surprised you came to see me, Kakashi-Sensei.” The Chuunin yawned and stretched his arms high over his head, before scratching his abdomen lazily. “We only got back yesterday. Unless we have another mission?” Naruto seemed to perk at this idea.
Kakashi laughed a little, unable to stop himself. Sometimes, he really really appreciated Naruto’s natural naivety. And his eagerness to make himself better. Kakashi had always loved that about his student.
“No, no. Just had a bit of time this morning. Thought I would bring some nutrition into your life.” He nodded to the bowl on the table. Naruto looked glumly at it and wrinkled his nose.
“I’ll eat it later.”
Kakashi leaned against the doorframe, looking at Naruto pick through the bowl. The boy had a look of disappointment on his face. Kakashi pondered briefly on how exactly he should approach the topic. He wondered if Naruto even knew what sex really was. It wasn’t like he had anyone around to teach him of the birds and the bees. Then Kakashi remembered (with a horribly cold stone resting in his stomach) that Jaraiya had been his mentor for a good three years.
In those three years, Kakashi had no idea what Naruto was doing. He never really found out, because at the time, Kakashi didn’t care. When Naruto came back, he had exceeded everyone’s expectations and that was all that was important.
“Um… Naruto?” Kakashi began slowly, watching the boy move to his kitchenette to the fridge.
Naruto responded with an inquiring grunt as he opened the large door. He didn’t even throw Kakashi a look when he did it.
Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and let his palm rest on the back of his head for a moment, contemplating. “Uh… Naruto… are you seeing anyone?”
Kakashi heard the milk that Naruto was drinking hit the floor with a very odd * Sploosh *. Naruto himself was still obscured by the icebox door. Kakashi perked a brow.
“Er… why do you ask, sensei?” Naruto made no attempt to mop up the growing puddle at his bare feet. ‘The milk had to be expired,’ Kakashi thought absently, ‘good milk can’t smell that bad.’
“It’s just… well, it’s that time of year again…” Kakashi cleared his throat. This was proving to be more complicated than he had anticipated.
Naruto didn’t reply. Just stood in front of the damn open fridge. It was picking at a nerve Kakashi didn’t know he had. He never left the refrigerator open longer than he needed to.
“It’s that damn Springtime of Youth crud that Gai is always feeding us. It’s that time of year, Naruto. And I just don’t want you to be, erm…” Kakashi paused and just stared at the open door now. At the wasted glowing light coming out of it and Naruto’s shadow. He waited for Naruto to do something and when he didn’t, Kakashi continued on. “…Manipulated. You know, you’re very good looking by most standards.”
Naruto FINALLY shut the door and turned a little to face his former teacher. “I’ve never really thought about it.” The boy really did look clueless. “And I know all about all the stuff that goes on this week.”
“You do?” Kakashi’s voice was amazingly high pitched for the casual expression he wore. Naruto raised a blonde brow a little.
“Yeah. I was with the Pervert Hermit for like… three years, remember?” Naruto laughed a little and scratched the back of his neck. “And it’s nice for you to offer, but I think that would be frowned upon…”
Kakashi did a double take on the boy, blinking several times. His mouth hung open. Was the little punk suggesting that…
“I don’t want to sleep with you!” Kakashi basically screamed. Naruto staggered back a little and looked at Kakashi in shock. He had never ever seen Kakashi lose composure. Ever. And this was definitely one hysterical Jounin
“Oh… Okay.” Naruto stammered. He looked at the time briefly, and then back towards Kakashi. “I have to get ready now, Sensei.”
Kakashi looked up at the blonde, his revealed eye suddenly looking very tired. “For what?”
“I have a whole bunch of company coming over today. I sure feel loved.” Naruto laughed a little. “Guess I was missed on our last mission, eh?”
Kakashi just stared for a moment. Then finally choked, “You know why they want to come over, right?”
Naruto blinked, pulling on a clean black shirt. Then he shrugged. “I dunno. Probably to train. It’s just Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Neji, Shino, and Shikamaru…” Naruto was beginning to grow uneasy with the ashen-faced Jounin. Kakashi looked like he needed some sleep. Bad.
“Okay… Sensei, thanks for coming over. Thanks for the fruit an’ stuff.” Naruto smiled politely and opened his front door for the Jounin.
Kakashi began to walk towards the door, debating on making this situation more awkward… or just leaving it be. The choice was obvious.
Kakashi turned around to face Naruto as he stepped out onto the apartment’s patio. “They’re all coming over to sleep with you. Not to train.”
Naruto laughed a little. “Of course we’re going to train. Pervert Hermit is coming to supervise. We’ve slept plenty.”
Kakashi took a collective breath and closed his eyes, praying for patience. “No, Naruto. Not sleep. They all want to have sex with you.”
This time, Naruto didn’t laugh, but he didn’t look like he cared or like he believed his former teacher. “I’m sure that’s not it. No one wants to have sex with me.”
Kakashi paused. “Why?”
“Because. I’m a virgin.” And with that last sentence, Naruto shut the door gently on the gaping, shrouded face of Hatake Kakashi.