Darkness
Why is the darkness inviting? Why do I feel drawn to images of wickedness I see?
I have no desire to engage in the wickedness that lies behind the darkness.
The world is covered in darkness, and we stumble farther and farther to the
allowable edges -- the ones where God almighty says "Enough".
As we crave more and more depravity we burn out our lusts and beg for more.
We have ventured to the darkest cell of the lunatic and been party to the
strangest ways of experiencing pleasure from our sex organs. Depravity eats
our conscience which cannot be seared by any but an iron heated by the
fires of the sun.
A disgrace to the ones I profess to love, I, like an infant that cannot
be made to obey even with the most violent chastisement from the rod,
venture back towards the darkness seeking answers to questions that
shouldn't be asked in the first place.
I justify my own passivity by placing the burden of accountability on
the shoulders of the people I depend upon to carry out the acts of
wickedness I am too cowardly to carry out myself.
They are acts that demand an open rebellion against the almighty. Though
all rebellion has rebellion against God almighty as its essence,
this rebellion is from a heart and mind that believes it can storm the
throne and somehow rob the privelage and power of the Almighty.
I accept and allow that action and my cowardly heart begs to see if this
awareness is the final straw, for if I can but chip away at the clear
boundaries of God's grace for one more sinful indulgence, I will and I
will gladly. I open my spiritual awareness for whispers from the fallen
ones indicating I can yet again trample upon Him. My wicked heart
thirsts for a smooth voice of total deception that has the appearance of
truth that my heart has purposed to declare true and grab ahold of
towards the fulfillment of sin.
And what lesson do I refuse to learn?
Hell and death will never be filled. The secrets of the dark only yield more
questions and longer paths of utter futility and death of soul.