THE MAN MEME
1. Do you have facial hair? If so, how much? If not, how often do you shave?
Sometimes I kid myself into thinking I could grow a legit beard, but then I come to my senses and shave.
2. Have you ever been in a fight?
No.
3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?
I can't dance or fight, so I think that means I don't qualify.
4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?
None.
5. Are you tall or short?
Tall. 6'6''. Woah.
6. When was the last time you hit the gym?
Last year.
7. What kind of music do you listen to?
I like classic rock and acoustic stuff primarily, but I listen to everything.
8. Are you single right now?
Sure am.
9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?
I enjoyed gym for the most part. I'm a competitive fuck, though, so you probably wouldn't have liked being on my team.
10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?
I play a lot of sports recreationally. For pickup games it's primarily basketball and tennis, but the university's intramural program is my bitch: volleyball, softball, flag football, ultimate frisbee, floor hockey, etc.
11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?
An osprey, the coolest bird of prey. I would train it to deliver messages and kill lap dogs, obviously.
12. Do you smoke?
No. I think I've smoked weed once.
13. What would your superhero name be?
Captain Crush.
14. What would your porn name be?
Big D.
15. What would your son's name be?
Caellach.
16. What would your daughter's name be?
Carrot.
17. Are you a slob?
I may be 65 to 70 percent slob.
18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
I'll drink anything that doesn't start with a 'K' and end with an 'eystone Light.'
19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?
I'm probably pretty annoying. Hard to say. When I focus, my functionality is still rock solid (i.e. - I'll still beat you at Mario Kart).
20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?
Sam Rockwell.
21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)
People doing good things.
22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)
The Los Angeles Lakers.
23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)
When Christmas is ruined.
24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?
I have three from three different media: V, from V for Vendetta; Hei, from Darker than BLACK; Tibarn, from Fire Emblem.
25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?
How apropos. I attach my knife to a wire and swing around downtown London, zapping evil dictators and blowing up historical landmarks.
26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?
Lack of medical science would scare me.
27. Do you have chest hair?
A scant amount.
28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?
Depends on the situation.
29. Do you think you'll ever get married?
See previous answer.
30. Are you a good driver?
I do not own a driver's license. Fun fact.
31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?
Keira Knightley.
32. Have you ever been in love?
Nah man.
33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
Nothing sticks out, but I have done plenty of dumb things.
34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?
I sprained my wrist once.
35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?
I chase dogs away from our house so they don't poop on the lawn.
36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?
I'd take about a quarter of the yearly income from the 10,000 wealthiest people in the world and let someone smarter than me decide how to spend it in a way that benefits the masses. I r fucking commie.
37. What do you fear?
Fear itself?!?!?
38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
I do not.
39. How long is your hair?
Moderate length. I'll let it grow it out until November, then cut it over Thanksgiving Break.
40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?
I wouldn't. I'm kind of a pacifist.
41. Who is your closest friend?
Sort of a push between a few people.
42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?
Graduate, I guess. Eventually I want to write a novel that doesn't suck.
43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?
Work faster on writing a novel that doesn't suck. Then scratch that and probably settle for a decent, sentimental short story while enjoying the company of family and friends.
44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?
I've chopped wood before with my Dad.
45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?
I wouldn't really enjoy eating plankton while at risk of being harpooned.
46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?
I used to wake up god awfully early on Saturday morning to watch the new epic installments of Pokémon and Yugioh.
47. What time do you wake up in the morning?
Depends on whether I'm skipping class and what day of the week it is. Sundays I wake up at ten consistently to watch NFL, but that's about all in terms of regularity.
48. What card games do you know how to play?
I'm pretty sure I play card games more than most people. I'm savvy at Texas Hold 'Em, Hearts, Bridge and Egyptian Ratscrew. I know others, but those are the main ones.
49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
I'm good enough.
And last but not least:
50. How long is yours?
Sufficient.
Sometimes I kid myself into thinking I could grow a legit beard, but then I come to my senses and shave.
2. Have you ever been in a fight?
No.
3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?
I can't dance or fight, so I think that means I don't qualify.
4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?
None.
5. Are you tall or short?
Tall. 6'6''. Woah.
6. When was the last time you hit the gym?
Last year.
7. What kind of music do you listen to?
I like classic rock and acoustic stuff primarily, but I listen to everything.
8. Are you single right now?
Sure am.
9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?
I enjoyed gym for the most part. I'm a competitive fuck, though, so you probably wouldn't have liked being on my team.
10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?
I play a lot of sports recreationally. For pickup games it's primarily basketball and tennis, but the university's intramural program is my bitch: volleyball, softball, flag football, ultimate frisbee, floor hockey, etc.
11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?
An osprey, the coolest bird of prey. I would train it to deliver messages and kill lap dogs, obviously.
12. Do you smoke?
No. I think I've smoked weed once.
13. What would your superhero name be?
Captain Crush.
14. What would your porn name be?
Big D.
15. What would your son's name be?
Caellach.
16. What would your daughter's name be?
Carrot.
17. Are you a slob?
I may be 65 to 70 percent slob.
18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
I'll drink anything that doesn't start with a 'K' and end with an 'eystone Light.'
19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?
I'm probably pretty annoying. Hard to say. When I focus, my functionality is still rock solid (i.e. - I'll still beat you at Mario Kart).
20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?
Sam Rockwell.
21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)
People doing good things.
22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)
The Los Angeles Lakers.
23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)
When Christmas is ruined.
24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?
I have three from three different media: V, from V for Vendetta; Hei, from Darker than BLACK; Tibarn, from Fire Emblem.
25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?
How apropos. I attach my knife to a wire and swing around downtown London, zapping evil dictators and blowing up historical landmarks.
26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?
Lack of medical science would scare me.
27. Do you have chest hair?
A scant amount.
28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?
Depends on the situation.
29. Do you think you'll ever get married?
See previous answer.
30. Are you a good driver?
I do not own a driver's license. Fun fact.
31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?
Keira Knightley.
32. Have you ever been in love?
Nah man.
33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
Nothing sticks out, but I have done plenty of dumb things.
34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?
I sprained my wrist once.
35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?
I chase dogs away from our house so they don't poop on the lawn.
36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?
I'd take about a quarter of the yearly income from the 10,000 wealthiest people in the world and let someone smarter than me decide how to spend it in a way that benefits the masses. I r fucking commie.
37. What do you fear?
Fear itself?!?!?
38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
I do not.
39. How long is your hair?
Moderate length. I'll let it grow it out until November, then cut it over Thanksgiving Break.
40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?
I wouldn't. I'm kind of a pacifist.
41. Who is your closest friend?
Sort of a push between a few people.
42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?
Graduate, I guess. Eventually I want to write a novel that doesn't suck.
43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?
Work faster on writing a novel that doesn't suck. Then scratch that and probably settle for a decent, sentimental short story while enjoying the company of family and friends.
44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?
I've chopped wood before with my Dad.
45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?
I wouldn't really enjoy eating plankton while at risk of being harpooned.
46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?
I used to wake up god awfully early on Saturday morning to watch the new epic installments of Pokémon and Yugioh.
47. What time do you wake up in the morning?
Depends on whether I'm skipping class and what day of the week it is. Sundays I wake up at ten consistently to watch NFL, but that's about all in terms of regularity.
48. What card games do you know how to play?
I'm pretty sure I play card games more than most people. I'm savvy at Texas Hold 'Em, Hearts, Bridge and Egyptian Ratscrew. I know others, but those are the main ones.
49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
I'm good enough.
And last but not least:
50. How long is yours?
Sufficient.