Job Update -- Success at Last!
Well, technically I've had this job for a month, but I didn't want to jinx it.
Regardless, I've gone two pay cycles without having to go to Florida Unemployment. The fact that I didn't even have to read the questions anymore before answering was just sad.
According to the law of the land (or at least in Florida), my new employer has ninety days where they can get rid of me for any little reason they care to give. Therefore, I've been working damn hard to make sure the people at TechHealth see me as too valuable to let go. Not that it's been 100% smooth sailing. I had a scary freak-out moment when I realized there were serious holes in my education, holes that I was sure I'd get fired for since it's not like there's a shortage of programmers who'd be willing to take my spot. That day I went down to my car during my lunch break and bawled the entire time because I was sure I was going to be begging for scraps at the government's table again. As I stated in a previous rant, I felt ashamed to be such a burden not just on my family but on my fellow taxpayers.
(Note: If you attend school or have a job but you still live with your parents, I don't see that as mooching. You're saving money now so later you can be more independent later the investment you made in education or in job experience. Hell, my mom offered to let me come home after college while I looked for a job so I wouldn't have to worry about rent and such. I got a job fresh out of college by pure luck more than anything else. Those of you who're staying with family members or friends on a temporary basis while you look for something permanent, more power to ya and I wish you the best of luck for your future. It's the people who just sit around doing nothing to change their situation that I see as moochers, and for those six months I was unemployed, I sure as hell felt like a moocher even though I knew I was doing my best to turn that around.)
I ended up sitting down with my manager--still crying though I was trying desperately not to--in private and just blurting out to him "I think you hired the wrong programmer."
Why'd I say that? Because despite knowing this guy only a few days, I wanted him and the company we worked for to succeed. And considering I was so far behind in this integral part of these guys' code, I didn't see myself as good enough to have a place there. In fact, I felt like I was holding them back from finding someone more qualified. John (my new manager) had to convince me that they didn't make a mistake and that they'd actually expected that I wouldn't know that stuff since it was still relatively new technology. He told me he was shocked I got so far so fast learning and using the ExtJS framework they were using to rebuild their system. And, according to my coworkers, John almost never hands out compliments like that.
At a later time, I told him about my experiences at LRMC and about how I got burned by the system. (I'd rather not go into it, but let's just say that when I really needed my old manager to go to bat for me, he let me down. Twice. For the same issue.) John promised me he wouldn't keep me guessing on where I stood and that he'd go to bat for me if things got ugly. I've heard that song and dance before (I did get burned by it), but as weeks go by, I'm finding myself more and more willing to believe John. So far he's put his money where his mouth is, saying that if I see him start doing something as "scumbaggy" (his term) as going back on his word to call him out on it.
In a bizarre twist, I've actually ended up in a better position than the one I used to have. I have a beginning-level programmer position, and my pay is about ten grand a year more than my starting salary at LRMC, almost as much as the intermediate-level programmer salary I left behind. I get to wear jeans to work everyday as long as a client's not there. (And there's a kajillion emails that get sent out several days to warn us.) And if I really want to, I can wear sneakers every Friday. I'm not in an airless little office packed in with three other people; I have a three-walled cube two cubes down from one of the large fourth floor windows with a nice view of the rest of the corporate park that TechHealth rents space from. My coworkers insist on having a daily mass migration for coffee, tea, or whatever else we want to the larger break room to chat about work or life in general. We go out to lunch once a week together, and occasionally we have happy hour together.
It's not perfect. (No job is.) We're on the floor above Verizon's office space. (And God only knows what they get up to on the second and third floors. The floor starts shaking about mid-afternoon.) I have to drive about thirty minutes to an hour to get to or from work, so I technically have a ten-hour work day and have to fill up my car twice a week as opposed to once a month like before. Sometimes longer if I have to stay behind, and I already start late. (In the office between 9:30 and 10 and leaving between 6 and 6:30.) People pass back and forth behind me all the time, which makes me jerk this way and that to see what's going on, so it's a bit distracting. But, on the whole, I've been blessed with a good job and good people to work with; I'm starting to love programming again and I couldn't be more thankful. I go home with a smile on my face almost every day.
I'll have to share some of the lessons I've learned during my whole experience, not simply rant about how bad it was. Because to be honest, even as bad as it got, I had people there to pick me back up when I didn't think I could find the energy to stand anymore. I got re-acquainted with Someone I hadn't talked to in years as I tried to understand why things happened the way they did. And, even more important, I learned life skills in the terrible event that it does happen again.
Regardless, I've gone two pay cycles without having to go to Florida Unemployment. The fact that I didn't even have to read the questions anymore before answering was just sad.
According to the law of the land (or at least in Florida), my new employer has ninety days where they can get rid of me for any little reason they care to give. Therefore, I've been working damn hard to make sure the people at TechHealth see me as too valuable to let go. Not that it's been 100% smooth sailing. I had a scary freak-out moment when I realized there were serious holes in my education, holes that I was sure I'd get fired for since it's not like there's a shortage of programmers who'd be willing to take my spot. That day I went down to my car during my lunch break and bawled the entire time because I was sure I was going to be begging for scraps at the government's table again. As I stated in a previous rant, I felt ashamed to be such a burden not just on my family but on my fellow taxpayers.
(Note: If you attend school or have a job but you still live with your parents, I don't see that as mooching. You're saving money now so later you can be more independent later the investment you made in education or in job experience. Hell, my mom offered to let me come home after college while I looked for a job so I wouldn't have to worry about rent and such. I got a job fresh out of college by pure luck more than anything else. Those of you who're staying with family members or friends on a temporary basis while you look for something permanent, more power to ya and I wish you the best of luck for your future. It's the people who just sit around doing nothing to change their situation that I see as moochers, and for those six months I was unemployed, I sure as hell felt like a moocher even though I knew I was doing my best to turn that around.)
I ended up sitting down with my manager--still crying though I was trying desperately not to--in private and just blurting out to him "I think you hired the wrong programmer."
Why'd I say that? Because despite knowing this guy only a few days, I wanted him and the company we worked for to succeed. And considering I was so far behind in this integral part of these guys' code, I didn't see myself as good enough to have a place there. In fact, I felt like I was holding them back from finding someone more qualified. John (my new manager) had to convince me that they didn't make a mistake and that they'd actually expected that I wouldn't know that stuff since it was still relatively new technology. He told me he was shocked I got so far so fast learning and using the ExtJS framework they were using to rebuild their system. And, according to my coworkers, John almost never hands out compliments like that.
At a later time, I told him about my experiences at LRMC and about how I got burned by the system. (I'd rather not go into it, but let's just say that when I really needed my old manager to go to bat for me, he let me down. Twice. For the same issue.) John promised me he wouldn't keep me guessing on where I stood and that he'd go to bat for me if things got ugly. I've heard that song and dance before (I did get burned by it), but as weeks go by, I'm finding myself more and more willing to believe John. So far he's put his money where his mouth is, saying that if I see him start doing something as "scumbaggy" (his term) as going back on his word to call him out on it.
In a bizarre twist, I've actually ended up in a better position than the one I used to have. I have a beginning-level programmer position, and my pay is about ten grand a year more than my starting salary at LRMC, almost as much as the intermediate-level programmer salary I left behind. I get to wear jeans to work everyday as long as a client's not there. (And there's a kajillion emails that get sent out several days to warn us.) And if I really want to, I can wear sneakers every Friday. I'm not in an airless little office packed in with three other people; I have a three-walled cube two cubes down from one of the large fourth floor windows with a nice view of the rest of the corporate park that TechHealth rents space from. My coworkers insist on having a daily mass migration for coffee, tea, or whatever else we want to the larger break room to chat about work or life in general. We go out to lunch once a week together, and occasionally we have happy hour together.
It's not perfect. (No job is.) We're on the floor above Verizon's office space. (And God only knows what they get up to on the second and third floors. The floor starts shaking about mid-afternoon.) I have to drive about thirty minutes to an hour to get to or from work, so I technically have a ten-hour work day and have to fill up my car twice a week as opposed to once a month like before. Sometimes longer if I have to stay behind, and I already start late. (In the office between 9:30 and 10 and leaving between 6 and 6:30.) People pass back and forth behind me all the time, which makes me jerk this way and that to see what's going on, so it's a bit distracting. But, on the whole, I've been blessed with a good job and good people to work with; I'm starting to love programming again and I couldn't be more thankful. I go home with a smile on my face almost every day.
I'll have to share some of the lessons I've learned during my whole experience, not simply rant about how bad it was. Because to be honest, even as bad as it got, I had people there to pick me back up when I didn't think I could find the energy to stand anymore. I got re-acquainted with Someone I hadn't talked to in years as I tried to understand why things happened the way they did. And, even more important, I learned life skills in the terrible event that it does happen again.