The Approaching Midnight and the Glance Over the Shoulder
December 31st, 2008.
Previously…
2007 was a Jekyll & Hyde year. Lots of good things, lots of ridiculously terrible things, and a whole lot of random causality in between it all. But in the end I had someone I cared about with me, someone who finally made me happy. It couldn't have ended better.
Then the clock ticked over to 2008 and the New Year came and it all went pear shaped. It became one of the worst and best years ever in my life. But more worse. My personal life hit a wall, and this time I couldn't get out of the wall's way.
And Now…
2008 started with a party at Pine Street, which my brother Keary and his lady Olga. We partied the night away, and had to cab it home. It was January, work was decent-any situation where I wasn't going to get laid off was always good. I traveled a little less in the spring, but got to visit my old home, the greatest city ever, New York City. I also got to visit Miami and check out the Ultra Music Festival-a great experience…I had never been around so many people enjoying music like that in a long time.
The spring brought the first loss of the year for me. In my life, I've always won small victory, my biography's full of those. But when I lost, I lost big-and for no reason at all. It just happened (see: Prisoner of Iron). Out of the blue, and always completely and unequivocally random.
The big loss? My girlfriend dumped me, out of the blue, for absolutely no reason (she said as much). I thought I was happy, thought I had finally gotten a good win and in 9 months time it all turned on its head. So there I was, alone again. Miserable again, and ever more angry and bitter than ever. I cut myself off from all contact with her. And I decided that I apparently was one of the ones who weren't supposed to be in a relationship.
I later traveled to Phoenix and met up with Super Jenn, one of my best mates. The time there was a welcome distraction from the tumult of my crazy family (who I couldn't avoid, no matter my best efforts). I was reminded that life out west was much different than anything I could ever imagine. Everything was much more spread out, and seemingly free.
Summer was quiet. Well, not exactly quiet. Red, myself and a few other companions gathered in Las Vegas to see Cher in concert. We had the time of our lives. Vegas was a decidedly different place than what I thought it'd be. I won $700 at the craps table-the first time I ever played (my usual games are blackjack or poker), so in my eyes the trip was a perfect success. Trying out that bacon martini at the Double Down Saloon was probably a mistake, though. We barely left the hotel, hanging out at the bar and downing mimosas and Bloody Mary's the whole time. An excellent trip.
When I returned, I met someone new, someone who I thought would be an okay fit. I wasn't really looking for anybody. She was nice. Really nice. I thought that maybe things would turn out for the best, but in the back of my mind I knew that another loss was waiting in the shadows.
Autumn rolled around and on the road again I was. Off to a wild adventure in which I missed my flight, got rescheduled and ended up in Albuquerque, of all places. I got to my intended destination after a really, really long drive across New Mexico and Arizona. I spent some time in Phoenix again with Super Jenn and had a wonderful time.
I got dumped again a short while later. I probably made a mistake in being the hedonistic jerk that I had reverted to being. But it didn't work out-my cynical nature and basic unavailability, combined with fact that I was resigned to the fact that maybe I'd be single permanently killed any idea of it working out. I wasn't that guy, and never would be.
November rolled around and Barack Obama won the election. I remember feeling relieved, happy, and just…I don't know, euphoric. Felt like nothing I ever experienced before. And yes, I am still smiling.
Winter was quiet. It began as quietly as anything could've been. I dabbled about and dated someone else for a time, but like clockwork got dumped for no reason whatsoever. Three times in one year, like a champ! Maybe women weren't worth it anymore, or maybe my wiring was somehow off kilter-but there'd be no finding out, because I wasn't noticing anyone notice me, I wasn't chasing, and that was fine.
And here we are, at the end. 366 days later, on the cusp of tomorrow. Whatever tomorrow brings, no one will ever know. I do know this, there are going to be a lot of changes in the way I do things. My new mission in life is to get out of Orlando permanently. There is something seriously wrong with the city. I'm not happy here anymore. Looking to go out west again. Lots of places to go, lots of people to meet along the way, and so little time. There's the solar eclipse that I'm trying to catch in Hawaii, a quick visit to London, Marrakesh, Goa, and Lagos. Where to next? Good question. Really good question.
Next: Wait. It gets better. Time to hit the road again. 2009's going to be the year of side trips.