My dream last night...
I had an odd dream last night that really showed a lot of my insecurities.
I was on the U of A campus, and in a large public bathroom with a lot of different types/shapes/sizes of urinals...and all were so high, I could not reach them. Seemed that no one else was having any kind of problem, but even standing on my tip-toes, my waist could not reach high enough to pee. There were a lot of old friends there, but they were all the guy friends who were really tall, and they were having no problem. I felt very short.
When I went outside, I hooked up with a bunch of my female friends, and we were all going to go to a class together. It was a class on movies, of all things (think, going to a movie with a girl). We were on the other side of campus from the classroom, and it was a long walk...but almost immediately all the female friends I was with won a limo ride to class, and the limo was right there to pick them up...and they all got in and took off. They were partying, happy, excited...because it was a big thing, a certain status, to arrive to class in a limo. They had champagne, nice dressed, and were being pampered. I was not invited, and had to walk all the way to class.
(I think this one can be interpreted as I always have to watch my female friends get all these luxury things just because they are who they are, attractive females, and I have to walk. I didn't feel it was unfair...I just felt sad that I was left behind without a second thought).
I was looking forward to catching up to them in the classroom (a big auditorium with hundreds of people...think movie theatre), and when I arrived, there were scores of people all trying to figure out where to sit, calling out to each other and their friends...and I couldn't find anyone. I could occasionally hear my name being called, but when I would look for whoever tried to find me, they were lost in the crowd. I did run into one guy I used to know, who in real life is a dick, but in my dreams was really nice, and he wanted me to sit with him...but I moved on looking for my female friends.
And that's when they arrived in their limo. It pulled up to the front of the classroom, and I moved up kinda close, standing off to the side waiting for them to get out. They did to a big fanfare, and they started to take their seats. When I tried to go up and say "hi" and get their attention, they all pretended like they didn't know me anymore. They were being treated like stars, and just didn't have time for me. They took their "special" seats at the front, and I was left standing there all by myself...
...so I wandered to the back of the auditorium, found a seat randomly amongst a few strangers in a corner and in the back, and sat by myself.
I was on the U of A campus, and in a large public bathroom with a lot of different types/shapes/sizes of urinals...and all were so high, I could not reach them. Seemed that no one else was having any kind of problem, but even standing on my tip-toes, my waist could not reach high enough to pee. There were a lot of old friends there, but they were all the guy friends who were really tall, and they were having no problem. I felt very short.
When I went outside, I hooked up with a bunch of my female friends, and we were all going to go to a class together. It was a class on movies, of all things (think, going to a movie with a girl). We were on the other side of campus from the classroom, and it was a long walk...but almost immediately all the female friends I was with won a limo ride to class, and the limo was right there to pick them up...and they all got in and took off. They were partying, happy, excited...because it was a big thing, a certain status, to arrive to class in a limo. They had champagne, nice dressed, and were being pampered. I was not invited, and had to walk all the way to class.
(I think this one can be interpreted as I always have to watch my female friends get all these luxury things just because they are who they are, attractive females, and I have to walk. I didn't feel it was unfair...I just felt sad that I was left behind without a second thought).
I was looking forward to catching up to them in the classroom (a big auditorium with hundreds of people...think movie theatre), and when I arrived, there were scores of people all trying to figure out where to sit, calling out to each other and their friends...and I couldn't find anyone. I could occasionally hear my name being called, but when I would look for whoever tried to find me, they were lost in the crowd. I did run into one guy I used to know, who in real life is a dick, but in my dreams was really nice, and he wanted me to sit with him...but I moved on looking for my female friends.
And that's when they arrived in their limo. It pulled up to the front of the classroom, and I moved up kinda close, standing off to the side waiting for them to get out. They did to a big fanfare, and they started to take their seats. When I tried to go up and say "hi" and get their attention, they all pretended like they didn't know me anymore. They were being treated like stars, and just didn't have time for me. They took their "special" seats at the front, and I was left standing there all by myself...
...so I wandered to the back of the auditorium, found a seat randomly amongst a few strangers in a corner and in the back, and sat by myself.