(no subject)
Hello all
Bad news and Good news.
For those of you who were waiting for me to get on today I'm sorry but I think you'll understand why.
Two things happened to me today. One that made me smile until I got home. The other scares me shitless.
Today I finally got offered a permanent contract with my job and I said yes. This is the smile that lasted all day.
Then I walked in the door and after waiting what seems like forever my hospital letter finally arrived.
My operation is scheduled for October 3rd and I'm terrified.
I have hardly any time to get used to it even though you'd think I'd be ready for it after how long I've waited. But the truth is that it never quite seemed real until the letter came today.
I'm not sure that my work will still want to offer me the job when I tell them and I really like where I've been working this last three and a half weeks. I haven't signed a contract so they can still take it away from me.
When I got home Paul gave me the letter and I thought it would be at least a month or more off so I'd have time to tell them and they'd be happy. Instead it's only two weeks away and I'll be off for another two and I'm sure they won't be happy with it but there's nothing I can do about it. It's got to be done whether I like it or not but I just wish I could stay there for a while longer before having it done.
Oh I'm this isn't a letter or it'd be marked with tearstains. One half of me can hardly believe how upset I am over this and the other half wants to crawl away into a dark cave somewhere and hide.
I have to go and watch some Beanage or some Viggoage so I can try and stop being upset.
Instead I know I'll end up watching When Saturday Comes so that I can cry at the sad bit when the sad bit comes along and there's poor Beanie crying along with me.
Sad thing is I've only been able to cry when I was on my own not when I was with my loved ones. Cause I feel like I'm the one who has to be strong for them.
A sad and Crying Cyn.
XXX
Bad news and Good news.
For those of you who were waiting for me to get on today I'm sorry but I think you'll understand why.
Two things happened to me today. One that made me smile until I got home. The other scares me shitless.
Today I finally got offered a permanent contract with my job and I said yes. This is the smile that lasted all day.
Then I walked in the door and after waiting what seems like forever my hospital letter finally arrived.
My operation is scheduled for October 3rd and I'm terrified.
I have hardly any time to get used to it even though you'd think I'd be ready for it after how long I've waited. But the truth is that it never quite seemed real until the letter came today.
I'm not sure that my work will still want to offer me the job when I tell them and I really like where I've been working this last three and a half weeks. I haven't signed a contract so they can still take it away from me.
When I got home Paul gave me the letter and I thought it would be at least a month or more off so I'd have time to tell them and they'd be happy. Instead it's only two weeks away and I'll be off for another two and I'm sure they won't be happy with it but there's nothing I can do about it. It's got to be done whether I like it or not but I just wish I could stay there for a while longer before having it done.
Oh I'm this isn't a letter or it'd be marked with tearstains. One half of me can hardly believe how upset I am over this and the other half wants to crawl away into a dark cave somewhere and hide.
I have to go and watch some Beanage or some Viggoage so I can try and stop being upset.
Instead I know I'll end up watching When Saturday Comes so that I can cry at the sad bit when the sad bit comes along and there's poor Beanie crying along with me.
Sad thing is I've only been able to cry when I was on my own not when I was with my loved ones. Cause I feel like I'm the one who has to be strong for them.
A sad and Crying Cyn.
XXX