Sleeping With the Bird(ie)s
When people ask new parents how it's going, what they really are asking is "are you getting any sleep?" You might think that there are other questions that might be relevant to parents, but fundamentally any friendly inquiry boils down to sleep. Right now, the answer I've been giving is that Birdie falls within the range of my expectations for parenthood based on the babies I have observed in my life.
In practical terms, what this means is that M and I have split up the night shift. This was a pragmatic decision, because M and I are opposites when it comes to sleep patterns. M is a very light sleeper, and woke up frequently even before the baby. I am an extremely heavy sleeper and it takes some very dramatic occurrence to force me awake. Given that, what we're doing right now is going to bed at the same time, with M in charge of late night feedings, which I sleep through handily no matter how much Birdie wails. Then the first time Birdie wakes M up after 5am, she wakes me up, and I take the baby to the other room so M can sleep. I then take care of Birdie until it's time for work to start. Usually that's around 9am, but my job has been extremely accommodating and she is often the most adorable person at my meetings, especially early morning ones. This actually works ok when I don't need to take notes or apply my full attention.
This approach lets me get enough sleep to get through work, and in theory lets M get enough consecutive hours of sleep to function. On nights when Birdie sleeps for long periods of time, or when she goes back to sleep right after being fed, M sometimes even feels well rested. On the other nights, she doesn't. Unfortunately, in our experience the time tested suggestion of "sleep when the baby is sleeping" hasn't worked well during daylight hours, so she doesn't usually make up that missed sleep. Instead, what M has found is that most of the time during the day Birdie won't sleep unless M is holding her.
That's also been my experience on that early morning 5am shift. Sometimes Birdie will sleep in her crib in her room and I can sack out on the sofa, but more frequently she will only sleep on me. This means I spend many early morning hours resting in the rocking chair M's family got us. At some point if Birdie seems deeply asleep enough I'll do my Spanish for the day, read my webcomics and read some baseball news. If I could write journal entries one handed with my phone I certainly would do so, but alas I haven't figured out that trick yet. Usually Tulip asks to go out somewhere in that interval, and right around there Birdie wants to be fed. After a bottle I'll read her a book. If I'm really lucky Birdie will sack out long enough for me to nab a quick shower and breakfast, otherwise that waits until mid-morning when M has woken up.
We recently got a fancy swing for downstairs, which has helped. I can put Birdie in the swing and she's less likely to flip out than if she's in the pack & play in our living room. This makes feeding Tulip and I breakfast much easier. The seat of the swing can also be removed and rocked manually, so sometimes during meetings I rock her with one hand while participating in the meeting.
Something else that experienced parents know is that early on the baby is changing so rapidly that routines don't last terribly long. What worked last week has already changed in some way, so this should be taken as "this is the world right now" and not "this is how it's been and how it will be."
In practical terms, what this means is that M and I have split up the night shift. This was a pragmatic decision, because M and I are opposites when it comes to sleep patterns. M is a very light sleeper, and woke up frequently even before the baby. I am an extremely heavy sleeper and it takes some very dramatic occurrence to force me awake. Given that, what we're doing right now is going to bed at the same time, with M in charge of late night feedings, which I sleep through handily no matter how much Birdie wails. Then the first time Birdie wakes M up after 5am, she wakes me up, and I take the baby to the other room so M can sleep. I then take care of Birdie until it's time for work to start. Usually that's around 9am, but my job has been extremely accommodating and she is often the most adorable person at my meetings, especially early morning ones. This actually works ok when I don't need to take notes or apply my full attention.
This approach lets me get enough sleep to get through work, and in theory lets M get enough consecutive hours of sleep to function. On nights when Birdie sleeps for long periods of time, or when she goes back to sleep right after being fed, M sometimes even feels well rested. On the other nights, she doesn't. Unfortunately, in our experience the time tested suggestion of "sleep when the baby is sleeping" hasn't worked well during daylight hours, so she doesn't usually make up that missed sleep. Instead, what M has found is that most of the time during the day Birdie won't sleep unless M is holding her.
That's also been my experience on that early morning 5am shift. Sometimes Birdie will sleep in her crib in her room and I can sack out on the sofa, but more frequently she will only sleep on me. This means I spend many early morning hours resting in the rocking chair M's family got us. At some point if Birdie seems deeply asleep enough I'll do my Spanish for the day, read my webcomics and read some baseball news. If I could write journal entries one handed with my phone I certainly would do so, but alas I haven't figured out that trick yet. Usually Tulip asks to go out somewhere in that interval, and right around there Birdie wants to be fed. After a bottle I'll read her a book. If I'm really lucky Birdie will sack out long enough for me to nab a quick shower and breakfast, otherwise that waits until mid-morning when M has woken up.
We recently got a fancy swing for downstairs, which has helped. I can put Birdie in the swing and she's less likely to flip out than if she's in the pack & play in our living room. This makes feeding Tulip and I breakfast much easier. The seat of the swing can also be removed and rocked manually, so sometimes during meetings I rock her with one hand while participating in the meeting.
Something else that experienced parents know is that early on the baby is changing so rapidly that routines don't last terribly long. What worked last week has already changed in some way, so this should be taken as "this is the world right now" and not "this is how it's been and how it will be."