Why isn't there some kind of mythological birthday beast? Like the Easter Bunny. Except no one gives a damn about easter except for the wicked sweet discounts on Peeps.
And where the fuck was the goddamned walrus on my birthday? I didn't get to sit on his lap or anything. Fuck him. By the way, you cuss too much. I just don't understand where the fuck you got it from. It's a really bad habit, so stop that shit.
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Humphrey's Package
'08 to Eternity
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Love,
Your sister
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