Comments | cynicalgrey: Wow

cynicalgrey

Wow

Feb 12, 2008 12:00

So life has really changed over the past month. Lost a job, refocused my life, got a job, had a birthday, etc. I'm a far cry happier than I ever was two months much less two years ago. I really realize that Tom's decision was a hard one to make, but it was the best for the both of us (he still didn't go about it right, but he didn't even wish me ( Read more... )

Comments 14

g4sheriff February 12 2008, 19:37:40 UTC

It's been so busy here, I forgot to call you on Sunday. :/ I'm sorry, Meshell. Happy Birthday! I'm glad it was a good one!

cynicalgrey February 12 2008, 20:39:31 UTC

UH HUH!!! YOU NO LOVE ME ANYMORE!! Does this mean I need to remove your title Head Concubine and Love Slave to The Holy Royal Empress Meshell? DO I!??!!?

Thank you though <3

fetishforethics February 12 2008, 19:52:17 UTC

i am glad to hear you are on the road to awesome! (which is, in itself, awesome ( ... )

cynicalgrey February 12 2008, 20:46:02 UTC

THAAAANK YOUUUUU.

I didn't know, but then again, bulimia is very easy to hide. And you are 100% right. I say I have disordered eating because it hasn't really pushed it to bulimia or anorexia (which I have tottered on), but it has affect my eating. Food is not sustinance to me. It is a treat, a pleasure, a tool to abuse myself with, something to turn to when I am upset that someone isn't calling (then after the gorging, they call, guilt slapping me in the face). It's not a great feeling. I never really fasted, but I would under eat for periods of time.

But you are right. Weightloss isn't just a battle of the bulge when you have ED. It's a battle of your mind and trying to develop healthy beliefs and ideas about food. One website that really helped me see the importance of a balanced, healthy diet was www.sparkpeople.com It's not the end-all-be-all of weightloss websites, but it has great, accurate, thoughtful information.

And it's funny not being depressed can suddenly make you more attractive to others.

fetishforethics February 12 2008, 20:57:04 UTC

oh man i so used sparkpeople! it was great because i would plan out meals like, a day or two in advance... making sure i got enough calories and protien, fat, etc.. but the problem was that i was relying on it way too much..... right now i'm tryin to go it on mah own and eat like a "normal person" but who knows.. i have been having some dizzy-spells the last couple of weeks so maybe i'm not quite ready ( ... )

solitarydancer February 12 2008, 20:07:31 UTC

You really do sound a lot better, and you're right on the money about not giving up any part of yourself for another person. That whole "you complete me thing" is sweet, but it doesn't work. No person can actually "complete" you or fill a void. Healthy relationships stem from two complete, alread-satisfied and self-loving people coming together to form a greater whole.

Plus, I can't stand it when people say that a loving partner will sacrifice for the other. No. No no no. Sacrifice implies that one party lacks, gives up, or gives in. Two people must compromise and negotiate. Period.

Goodness - I'm on the brink of a soapbox/tangent.

Glad you enjoyed your special day!

cynicalgrey February 12 2008, 20:55:30 UTC

Haha, you're right. I think they misuse the word sacrifice, meaning a compromise where both must give up their real wants for the agreed decision for the relationship. But you never truly sacrifice anything. I know I sacrificed a lot in that relationship, and that was the worst thing to do for the both of us. I sacrificed a lot of my life, forcing him to do the same. Lord knows where I would be now if I had seen it and held to my guns.

But bygones are bygones and I am here to move on, non?

You know you are always welcome to a soapbox on this el jay. I love a good rant <3

solitarydancer February 13 2008, 17:23:05 UTC

Goody goody! I shall file that tidbit away and utilize at a later date when the mood strikes!
:-)

Try not to beat yourself up about it. The most important thing is always to recognize where change is needed and then to grow from the situation. You are doing that so it's a time for celebration! Yay! *happy dance*

psychicgypsy February 12 2008, 20:17:19 UTC

Happy late birthday!

Juno was an awesome movie.

cynicalgrey February 12 2008, 20:58:56 UTC

Merci, merci!

Ooooh, it was such a great movie. It's a definite buy. And it kills me how your kitty icon always looks like you stole my Emia and are like "haha! I have yr kitteeeeey!!"

Oi laeryken February 12 2008, 22:57:48 UTC

I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but.

If you lived within driving distance of me,
I would totally be flirting with you and trying to ask you out.

Sounds like life is treating you okay... fun is always good.

And great advice there at the end. Loving oneself is so so so important.