Life, blah blah blah

[cynicalgrey]

Sometimes I'm amazed at how oddly and quickly life can alter for the better when I don't even know it. I recently took on a project temp job with a restoration company where I learned a lot of accounting skills and therein really developed an interest in accounting. It has inspired me to grab a book in accounting, read up, and study for a CPA.

Comments

[sweetgingertea]

I used to have a really hard time sharing my feelings because if I thought they somehow conflicted with the other person I was friends with or dating I felt my feelings weren't as important. I still struggle with that, actually, but therapy has helped a lot. I used to hold back then be really cutting in my remarks because it was the only way I knew to express I was hurt. So I hear you!

We're a lot alike in that we're driven in jobs to excel and put a lot of our self-value in it. Now that I'm disabled, I have to remind myself that a job does not define me, even though I work part-time. It's hard though, sometimes.

[cynicalgrey]

It's such a challenge for me to share my feelings and when I finally get around to sharing them, it's this explosive attack that leaves the other person hurt and bewildered. I believe that it comes from me wanting them to hurt like they hurt me. I justify my cruelty by saying "well they hurt me," but that's not fair as I took their off-handed, potentially joking comment to heart

[truevil]

He doesn't have to say them either. He's trying to redirect the responsibility from being his to being yours. Lame.

I'll look at the laptop, but there's usually a limited amount you can do with them. They're assembled all in one piece, and it's hard to successfully modify them. I may be able to help out there, but we'll see.

And yes, I think we had the conversation on feelings before -- you're not alone there, Meshell. Your reasons may be different, but tons of people do it. I do it because I'm afraid people will use my feelings to hurt me; in my experience, that's actually true. None of our excuses make it right, and we know this, but knowledge doesn't help. :P

[cynicalgrey]

What comes from our mouths are OUR responsibility. People like to forget that to excuse the things they say (and do). I like to avoid that since I much rather be a nice person and make everyone happy (as I can). And it's not really possible, but I like to try.

YAY! Laptop action!! I'm sure there's not much to do. I just wonder if it's a cheap fix, yah know? If not, I dunno what to do with the hunk o junk. I just want to fix it so I can use it and be all badical.

[psychicgypsy]

You're a very interesting girl. I used to..well I still bottle up my emotions and feelings until I blow up (which means crying for a while and then arguing with my husband.)
I have always been like that. And when we were dating, I was afraid of bringing any issue up because I thought it would go against what HE believed or wanted so instead of creating conflict I bottled...until I exploded. It's getting easier, but it's nice to have that person stick by you instead of writing you off as nutty or too sensitive/emotional.

It's good that you're aware of yourself. I worry for my friend who sort of lost herself in her job...she's a teacher. Every summer she's off work so she has tons of time for stuff and doesn't get it when I don't, and every school year she 'vanishes' into her work and I can't see her as much. I don't really know how to deal with it..how to remind her she needs to balance and not become her job.

So it's good that you're trying to self improve.

[cynicalgrey]

Yeah, bottling up doesn't help the situation. You would think it is so easy to just say how you feel, move on, and magically it's all done. No, no, no, we bottle it up and try to abide by the annoyances and offenses until we want to stab the people we care about.

And then there's trying to find the healthy balance of "just let it go" and "let them know it annoys you." Like the little annoyances my little sister does. I have to constantly focus on not taking the things that annoy me about her and focus on all the awesome things about her (and how I can tell her everything with supreme confidence). But then there are things she does that really upset me and I can't just "let them slide," or I will explode on her unjustifiably.

Gah, you icon always reminds me of Emia. I know we always talk about that, but it always freaks me out in a good way.