Comments | cynicalgrey: It's just that.

cynicalgrey

It's just that.

Jan 28, 2009 15:26

Yep, I think I am getting over the whole "ZOMGZ WHAI MEE?!1?!" issue with this break up dealio. I appreciate everyone's comments in this, as it really helped me work my thoughts out and to experience other opinions on the matter. I partially feel guilty since I made it all public like, but there's no worries since ( Read more... )

Comments 15

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cynicalgrey January 29 2009, 20:40:45 UTC

Hahaha, so ronery. I'm so ronery. So ronery and sad and arooooone.

Yes, I do know every word to that song :X

Anyway, I've got to say that it is definitely refreshing to know that someone out there is fucking up shit along with you and that they have survived (or you know that you made it through so they will too). It grounds you and keeps those "OMGZ WHAI AMZ I DEE ONLII WUN DAT EXP DIS?1!?!" thoughts at bay.

Makes you go "Somewhere... out in that big world, someone else is experiencing the same prairiedogging, explosive shit that makes your bootyhole sore for a week with me." At least that's what I think.

madame_mage January 28 2009, 23:28:06 UTC

still honey remember to treat yourself well and with a measure of compassion. You don't have to take shit, and you can remain firm on your position. What this comes down to is: what are you comfortable with and what do you find acceptable..? To take a defensive stance might alienate you from people who are just laid back and pretty cool, those you'd like to nerd around with a bit. Hard to find the balance sometimes but the key element is KNOWING YOURSELF!

that being said, just remember what a lovely person you are!

cynicalgrey January 29 2009, 20:45:02 UTC

Yeah, I have a tendancy to take a defensive stance which automatically places the other person on the defensive as well (they don't feel that they attacked, so they defend their passivity).

Knowing myself is the key! And accepting that it's OK to set boundaries... That boundaries aren't just bad things -- not so black and white. I've got to accept that it's ok for me to be me, and that I don't need to defend it one more day. Accept me or move on, but don't waste time on trying to change me is a good moto.

Thank you *hugs* I try to be a good person. As aimeegomeow said, I shouldn't go too far and try too hard, because that's when I run into forgetting all about me :)

cynicalgrey January 29 2009, 20:52:44 UTC

BTW, I LOVE YOUR ICON! :)

aimeegomeow January 29 2009, 00:51:04 UTC

I feel bad for D. I think he's so cerebral, so number-oriented and logic-driven, that he doesn't see the value in emotional exchanges. Was he ever tender and loving while y'all were together?

cynicalgrey January 29 2009, 20:56:28 UTC

You know, he would show affection, but it was usually with a grin. Then there were moments we would cuddle on the couch, and he would hug me super close. Hell, he would get in my lap and cuddle with me! And there were hugs when he hadn't seen me in a while (with him adding tons of kisses on my neck that would give me giggle fits). There wasn't any verbal expressions of affection. No "I like you"s or "I've been thinking about you all day." I think the most I got was when I was in Houston and he said "I miss my Meeshy" (his nick for me).

So I really dunno what his attitude was towards me, us, whatever. He was the king of mixed signals. And I feel bad that he might think that this all ended for some reason that just isn't it.

kisc February 2 2009, 08:06:35 UTC

Sometimes I feel cheesy when the thing that I want to do to express affection has been in a lot of movies or something.

And then I am sort of self-deprecating about the whole thing.

Possible something like that to account for the grin?

THIS, I COMMAND!

kisc February 2 2009, 08:07:00 UTC

I think I used the wrong avatar for this comment... ;)

RE: Its just that. beowulf55 January 29 2009, 08:31:21 UTC

I think we all have problems withe these issues. Boundaries and communication. Perhapse the real issue is just communication. For me, I find it hard as I conside the other persons feelings a little too much at times. I have to remind myself that a firm "No" is better than a long period of resentment at the other person ( ... )

Re: Its just that. cynicalgrey January 29 2009, 21:10:13 UTC

Great thoughts! And you bring valid points to the table. Management training can teach you SO MUCH about interacting in the real world. Hell, it's really just training on how to manage your experiences with people ( ... )

hyuga January 30 2009, 01:13:13 UTC

Words words words. Also, you are awesome, so continue not taking shit from anyone.

cynicalgrey January 30 2009, 16:13:43 UTC

Is that a TL;DR comment, eh? ;)

Yes, not taking shit is something I should have started doing long ago. Taking people's shit is often messy and frustrating. OMGS R I REFRUNSEENG POOPY R PPLZ?!

hyuga January 30 2009, 17:33:34 UTC

Also if you get some of it on you it's really hard to get the smell off.