「ooc; essay → in progress」

Jul 12, 2011 14:40

Major spoilers for 999.

Because Santa is also kind of complicated when it comes to ~feelings~ and I told kosy I'd do this with her as we pretend we know what we're doing-

So um. Yes. Here we go. Be warned of repetitiveness, possible incoherency, and random use of bullets. No, not that kind.

1. the second nonary game

Or specifically, his feelings on it. I believe that Santa is remorseful about what he and June did. Not regretful, because he has his sister back and there's no way he regrets that, but he's well aware of how messed up they are and there are some in-game implications that he has a bit of self-loathing streak because of it.

◦ He comments/agrees with frequently on how messed up Zero must be to organize all this. Granted, this is before people realize that this isn't just some sick experiment and Santa tends to lie-but that comes below. Either way, it's possible that his comments are an indication of his true feelings, as he doesn't keep up the act all the time.

◦ Technically not canon, as he's from the True Ending so this conversation never happened, but there's the story of the two Santa Clauses. At the end, he wonders which one he is, keeping in mind that his two options are... someone who was a jerk at first and then became a genuine villain (i.e. the Black Santa), or someone who was good but became a villain to stop another one (i.e. the White Santa). Not exactly a flattering comparison either way.

So ultimately, I think he does, to some extent, hate that it had to come to this. Kidnapping innocent people-one of whom saved him and another one of whom was a friend once-and murder and whatnot. Sure, it was the Cradle Pharmaceuticals Executives, so it's not quite as bad as, say, killing off people who'd done nothing, but murder is murder. He's not going to justify that. After all, you could be here all day listening to Ace justify his actions, and Santa doesn't really need another reason to compare the man to him and June. He's probably aware that they could be considered just as bad as him, though it's not a thought he likes to consider or voice.

I think that Santa is, at heart, a good guy. Okay, so he's a jerk. Not going to deny that. But aside from that, he has the same set of basic of morals as everyone else-except he purposely chooses to ignore them in order to save his sister's life. Pretend for a moment that he wasn't one of the masterminds behind the game. Again, this is the tricky part, because it depends on how much truth Santa was putting into his act (which, again, is a topic below), but had he not been Zero's accomplice, Santa would've pretty much been your standard Jerk With a Heart of Gold. Take when the 9th Man grabbed Clover-Santa was the first to try and help her. And considering everything he's done for his sister, it's kind of hard to say that he's an entirely selfish person. Obvious compassion is mainly reserved for June, but aside from his teasing and mocking, I don't think he's really the kind of guy who gets his kicks out of, well, kicking people down.

It's not exactly a "oh, game's done, everything's in the past now!!!" kind of thing either. Even though he and June managed to escape the scene and are finally free, they're also, in a way, even more trapped than before. The moments until the second Nonary Game were likely rather stressful, because, well. This was it. This was their chance to save June's life. And a large part of it depended on his own ability to lie and act, on top of June's.

So now, they're done. She's alive-for good. Except now, they have to deal with the consequences. Now, they're criminals on the run. He's a kidnapper and accomplice to murder. That's. Not really something you can brush off so easily.

And this is where his cynicism and human desire to just be optimist for once war with each other. Again, June is finally alive and free from her metaphorical time bomb. As far as Santa's concerned, she now has the chance to live her life, which is why he has no intention of letting her go to jail or anything like that. However, he's aware that it's not as simple as that. She's messed up. He's messed up. 'Normalcy' has never really been an option for them. 'Normal' was nine years plus ago, even though they were orphans and he was practically a parent while still going through puberty.

At least back then, they weren't coldly rational. Back then, they weren't willing to kill to achieve their objective. Back then, they were actually happy.

He wants her to be happy again. Damn it, that's all he wants, really, now that he's got her back. It's always been on his mind-that last wish of hers. His last words in the game are even dedicated to it.

"It's time for me to go make a wish come true."

He knows that he and June don't necessarily deserve happiness by this point. Hell, he's not asking for any for himself. At the same time, after everything that his sister's been through, he just. Wishes she could catch a break for once, and so even if she may not deserve it, he'll do whatever he can to make her happy.

... This kind of got off topic, so moving on-

2. crazy people on the not!boat

Aka no, Snake and Clover, he does not want to be friends-

I mean. Uh.

But yeah. A lot of mixed feelings towards his cast, and now that they're all here (except for the 9th Man, but... yeah), this would probably be a good time to sort out his opinions on him.

First and foremost, he owes them. Well, save Ace, because this is all his fault to begin with, but Ace is pretty much the exception to everything. In any case, involuntary or not, they're the reason June's still alive. They saved her. Consequently, there'll always be an unspoken gratitude towards them-unspoken, because Santa's not so mushy to outright thank them for everything-and he feels that he's in their debt. So, if they ever genuinely needed help? He'd give any of them (again, excluding Ace) it. He'd be as unsentimental about it as possible, but yeah. To restate the point, he owes them, on top of the whole moral aspect of it too. It's a strange line between being enemies and allies, and while he doesn't want to be their enemy, being allies is too strange of a thought.

Going to more detail about his feelings towards Junpei, Clover, and Snake because they're the ones that are being affected the most by Route. To avoid turning this into a CR post, though, I'll keep it simple.

◦ Firstly, Junpei. Aside from the whole Nonary Game thing, one thing of importance is that Junpei is now dating June. Santa's not so protective to be all "NO NO DATING MY SISTER EVER" because hey, June's love life is her own business as long as she doesn't get hurt. And even though Santa thinks Junpei is a loser and all that, he actually does approve of him. He saved her, after all, and Santa knows that he'd never hurt her intentionally. In a way, Junpei is safe, and after everything, safe is very welcome.

◦ Secondly, Clover-who cares and it creeps the hell out of Santa. As far as he's concerned, she shouldn't. He put her and her brother through the same hell they went through nine years ago. He faked Snake's death. What reason does she have to care about him? Ultimately, Santa has no idea how to deal with this, so he reacts with anger... aaaaaaaand this is another topic, so.

◦ Thirdly, Snake. Jerk punched him, but Santa knows he deserved it, hence why he chose not to strike back. Snake, to be honest, is a bucket load of awkward. He's the only one Santa likely knows all that well from nine years ago, given that Clover was in Nevada and running for their lives wasn't really a good time to bond with Seven. There's this strange sensation of friendship, thanks to the clover thing and friendship speech Snake did, but Santa will never, ever admit it.

Things have just gotten even more uncomfortable because he and Snake are apparently now on an actual name basis, whether Santa likes it or not. So, next topic!

3. santa and why the hell is he not aoi

... Why is this also #3. NOT COPYING KOSY-

OOCly, my reasons for this were to avoid spoilers for the game, since the characters' real names are all kind of spoilers, particularly Santa's last name. ICly, though, um.

◦ Privacy. So 'Aoi' is not exactly the most uncommon Japanese name ever, it's not like anybody outside of his cast knows who he really is, and he suspects that whoever's behind this knows exactly who he is. Still, it's a bit of a security blanket, in that it's yet another way to distance himself from the others. It's a barrier people will have to get through if they ever want to really get to know him.

◦ He's used to it. Shut up kosy I am not copying you. Anyway, yes. He's been called Santa for a good nine hours, and while that does admittedly pale in comparison to a lifetime of being called Aoi, I don't imagine he hears his name all that often. No family aside from the obvious, probably no real friends if any at all, and I don't know what his and June's organization called them. Ultimately, his sister's really the only one with whom he has constant contact who calls him that.

◦ His first post. He never formally introduced himself, but thanks to receiving a Stantler as a starter, he did drop hints about his nickname. One person managed to deduce it, but ultimately, it comes down to the fact that Junpei aka fellow first 999 cast member was all "wow Santa you're here too???" Or something to that extent, anyway. And so, Santa's thought process was essentially "well someone's already calling me that here so I might as well roll with it."

◦ Past vs. Present. He's not so poetic to say that Aoi Kurashiki and Santa are two different people, but sometimes, it feels like that. To his castmates, at least, Santa figures it's probably something like this: 'Santa' is associated with Zero's assistant. 'Aoi Kurashiki' is that kid from nine years ago. They're technically the same person, but a name can do a lot. At the very least, being called Aoi in Route by his castmates reminds him of the past, which he Does Not Like, so Santa works better for him.

Except, again, Snake has decided to call him Aoi once more. Screw you, Snake. Light. Whatever. :|

4. get out of his life damn it

... Between Rise, Snake, and Clover, Santa hasn't really reacted well to people trying to befriend him. We don't really see much of this in game, so yeah. Really running on headcanon here.

To Santa, friendship isn't really for him due to a multitude of reasons:

◦ Trust issues. This is your resident "DON'T TRUST ANYBODY 8|" guy. After all, he's seen the darker part of humanity. He's a part of it, even. He knows all about backstabbing and how people can't be trusted, because really-just look at him and June. They went against those bonds between friends that Snake created nine years ago, thus betraying him and Clover. They put the man who saved them in danger. June used her childhood friend. And even ignoring the past, they were lying to the others the entire time. Santa knows that he himself can't even be trusted, so why trust anybody else? The fact he was going to become a criminal/is now a criminal just makes matters even worse, since they now have a reason-a legitimate one, in fact-to sell him out. Or, at the very least, since there's no one to sell him out to in Johto (except for Ace, but ew Ace), they'll ditch him the moment they find out.

◦ Opening up to people. This goes hand in hand with the above issue. Friendship ultimately requires people to, uh, not be emotionally distant, which Santa very much is. Otherwise, it doesn't work out too well, or is never quite genuine, at least. While he does let himself be vulnerable once in a while (and even then, he's not really a "talk about my ~feelings~" kind of guy), he has a tendency of closing himself up right after-i.e. he has difficulty being consistently open about himself. This probably stems from his childhood, after his parents' deaths. I imagine that he learned to put up a strong front as he tried to keep everything together, since he didn't want to worry June. Consequently, he never really learned to confide in or rely on others, as he's too used to dealing with everything by himself.

◦ No point. I should just say right now that everything goes back to the trust issues, but yes. He's known for a long time that he was going to become a criminal. On top of the aforementioned 'selling him out' deal, he didn't exactly want to drag others down with him. If he never told them about what he'd done, then it goes back to the second point-how the sincerity of the friendship is then called in question. If he did tell them, that kind of puts them in trouble too, for keeping it a secret. It's not entirely applicable to here in Route, but old habits die hard.

... So essentially, Santa's trying to refuse to be friends with anyone. Except he knows some really stubborn people geez. Snake and Clover? They're messed up enough to somehow not hate him. Rise? She's optimistic enough to put up with his cynicism and the fact that he really can't be trusted. And altogether, it pisses him off because they're not being rational, damn it. Maybe Rise is excusable, though Santa still has no intention of telling her anything unless something big happens (again). As for Snake and Clover, he has absolutely no idea what to do about them. They already know about what he's done, etc., so all he can really do is yell and be distant and hope they eventually give up.

Also I have no way to transition smoothly into the next topic, so bam.

5. santa is a lying liar who lies

Again, a lot of the second Nonary Game relied on how well he could act and obfuscate stupidity-and he pulls it off very well. He knows not just to act when eyes are on him, but even when they aren't, speaking up and reinforcing the mask even when silence would've been fine. Altogether, you have the image of your typical street punk who bounces back from being a moron to being maybe smart. Or, as Junpei put, might just be getting lucky sometimes. Just some smartass, really.

Except no. If he were 'just some smartass', he wouldn't be nearly as screwed up in the head as he is, and though he has his moments, he's far from a moron. He's much smarter than he looks-except intelligence puts people on guard. It'd make them suspicious. One of the greatest weapons you can have at your disposal is to be underestimated, and so Santa went with that.

He's still doing it in Route, even. There are times when he blatantly lies, like when he asked Rise about the Radio Tower takeover... that he was a part of. It was mainly a force of habit-playing dumb-with another reason being to learn what the takeover looked like from an outside perspective. But even in a less clear-cut example, he's still putting on masks. Again, force of habit. A good weapon. It's also a way of distancing himself, since you can't really get close to him if you've never seen the real him.

That does bring up the question of what exactly is the 'real' him, though. His personality during the game isn't an entire lie. Rather, it's probably who he would've been had he not been one of the people behind the game-if he'd really just been some street punk. On the other hand, it's not exactly the truth either. You get some glimpses of who he really is inside over the course of the game-either staircase scene, the scene in the shower room when he talks about temperature, etc. There's also notably the scene down in the incinerator, where Junpei even notes the change in Santa. Maybe I'm just reading too much into this, but his vocabulary also seems to shift somewhat, as he becomes a bit more eloquent.

So yeah. He plays up the stereotype of the street punk kid, because hey, he already looks the part and acts some of it without even trying. However, you don't get to help pull off half of what he does just by being some punk kid.

... This was going to be longer but I'm running out of brainpower.

6. prepare for trouble???

So, Santa's in Team Rocket. He finds this amusing, in a very bitter way, not helped by the fact that Ace is also in Team Rocket. Nice to see the comparisons don't end.

Obviously, he's not in Team Rocket of of his own volition, but he's stuck in it and he's not eager to try and escape, after hearing from Rise how messed up they can be to people they don't like. As a result, he goes along with what they do for the most part, though his exact motives (aside from the threat) have changed over time.

At first, it was to find a way out of Johto. Sure, Team Rocket wasn't exactly doing nice stuff, but he knows how to steel himself and do what needs to be done. At the very least, they were being active, and he prefers the proactive side. Now, though, he doesn't want to leave Johto. It's a break for him and his sister and the closest shot she has to being happy. They have nothing back home.

Again, though. It's not like they can really be all "oh hi we want to leave now", so for now, he'll go along with Team Rocket's plans unless there's something he really protests to. It makes him feel like even more of a bastard, but he'll deal.

... Nothing is getting him onto a boat again, though.

7. ace is the nicest guy ever (are you happy marion)

Oh yeah, he's totally forgiven him for, you know, kidnapping him and his sister and sticking them on a sinking boat and throwing said sister into an incinerator and pretty ruining their lives and I'm just going to go and shoot myself in the head now.

But yeaaaaaah, definitely not. There is nobody Santa hates as much as Ace and likely nobody he will ever hate as much. It wouldn't have been so bad if it'd just been the kidnapping and boat part. Granted, he'd still hate his guts, because what crossed the line was involving his sister. What makes everything unforgivable is the fact that Ace murdered his sister.

I don't know why, but somehow I imagined Santa's most vivid memory of Ace being when he was escaping and Ace ran into the room and began yelling (hence why I just had to include it in his Shedinja-induced dream, okay). And that eye is the stuff of nightmare, geez.

Ace is pretty much the embodiment of Santa's trauma, to be honest. The man ruined his life. It's kind of a bullying situation, actually. Ace is the bully and Santa and June are the victims, except they eventually snapped and struck back. Still, even now, it's hard facing the bully. Not to mention that, well, Ace did a lot more than just bully them. To some extent, Santa is still terrified of the man, despite knowing that he's just as powerful as him now, if not more so. He's seen how pathetic Ace can be. He's held a gun to him, even (and damn, did that feel good even if he had no intention of shooting). He and June got the best of him, even if he still won in a way, and he knows it.

But Ace is still a threat. He can still turn the tables around. And so, his presence in Johto means that he and June can't afford to mess up.

8. ewwww knight complexes

At one point in the game, Santa's response to Junpei checking up on June is, paraphrased, "You think you're her knight or something? You're creeping me out, man."

... Given that Santa once dedicated-and is still dedicating-his life to protecting someone (June, no less), you can probably see where the huge contradiction in this lies.

It could be a part of his act. A lot of things about Santa boil down to whether or not he's lying, frankly. However, if we presume that this is one of those cases where he's actually being kind of genuine, it says something about him.

That he does hold some contempt to the idea of being a protector, specifically. Like I said, he of all people understands very well that desire to look after someone. And thus, he of all people understands very well what happens when you fail. Your world falls apart, and with it, you. It's like watching everything you've worked for shatter to pieces right in front of you. And you will inevitably fail. He gave everything he had to ensure that June was safe and happy, only for her to burn to death. All it took was for her to escape his watch for merely a few moments. If he couldn't protect her all the time, then why would Junpei be able to?

That being said, he still watches over her, despite knowing that he might not succeed all the time. That's all he can do, really. He's spent too much of his life trying to protect her to live any other way.

9. there is nothing here

Aka I am done for now until I come up with more stuff or unless anyone wants a specific topic. :|;

!ooc, not at 6 am but still sleep-deprived, !essay

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