Don't let the dryness of everything suck you dry.

[cynnastix]

Sometimes I write things in here and mark them as private. I decided to make it 'un-private' since I found it uncanny that someone sent me a link about this very same topic I'm about to get into

Comments

[alagbon]

I am the kind of person that would easily say it how it is, and express myself - but I've gotten shot down so many times for saying the truth that it has hardened me up.

I know how that is, painfully so. All my life, shot down and met with everything from simple shunning to violence (fortunately none of the latter since junior high, but it did its damage and did it well) for going against the accepted order of things, for telling truths that weren't acceptable, for just being myself. I've been holding back, compromising, far too much in my life.

It's so much easier relating to people online, to be honest; which kind of depresses me, even though at least having the society of my friends on LJ and whatnot is better than the alternative.

Anxiety and overanalysis are also issues of mine...

[cynnastix]

Yeah I've noticed.. I'm stubborn to a high degree. In the past I've compromised a lot, but I see that as cutting yourself short. Selling yourself short. If you're cutting yourself short, you're probably trying to lower your standards to people who do not understand the full you. People should be able to understand the good and the bad. We all carry it. Why lower your standards (well, I don't mean to be a complete asshole) when there's too much to give? And if you're giving of information to those who are not ready, it's pointless. Why give gold to those who are dumb enough to think it's silver? You have gold and they're only deserving of silver, so that's too bad

[alagbon]

I'm quite stubborn too...

And you're quite right. I've always wanted to be able to give of myself completely and freely, but (and I don't mean to be a complete asshole either) have never, ever felt like I could with anyone; like there would always be some kind of obstacle, some kind of sticking point. That frustration's dogged me all my life.

Layers, yes. Nobody's ever really seen all of me... It's hard to know who you can trust with what, and people get little bits and pieces but only I know the whole picture. I hope that'll change, some day.

As for the "leadership" thing... I think there are definitely issues I need to work on before we can see any of that coming into practice.

[cynnastix]

Well, that was something I pulled out from your chart also. I have a similar placement