FF: The Boy with a Heart of Ice (and Other Fables) 1/?
Title: The Boy with a Heart of Ice (and other Fables) -- Part 1
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Leslie/Ben (kind of)
Word Count: ~2,400
Rating: PG (think Disney people)
Timeline: Up through 3x06 "Indianapolis" (again kinda)
Author's Note: So this is my response for Hiatus Fest Round Two's Fairytale Prompt. I'm sorry for posting this in parts, but I'm up against a work deadline that means I might not get the whole story finished in time (since it's becoming exponentially longer as I go and I am apparently completely incapable of something tiny for these two). But I wanted to get at least the first half in in time. Fair warning, this is both ludicrously sweet and a little cracky (also, there's a dragon).
There is a structure to fairytales. An order. A comforting certainty that the prince (or knight or gentle youngest son) will rescue the fair maiden and the land will rejoice and all will be well.
This is not that story.
Once not that long ago, in a land not too terribly different from here, there was a young man whose heart had been turned to ice.
“Was he a prince?”
“No, not really.”
“A knight?”
“Definitely not.”
“Why can’t he be a prince?”
“Fine. Let’s call him a prince.”
So in this rather close, and fairly similar land there was a “prince” whose heart had been turned to ice.
“Why?”
“We’re getting to that.”
“Was he a bad prince?”
“Are you going to do this the whole time?”
“Maybe.”
“---“
The prince wasn’t a bad prince at all, but when he was very young he saw that his land was dying. Travelers were no longer coming and the merchants had less and less to trade and he knew that if nothing was done, sooner or later his land would be no more. So he went to the people and he asked them to let him rule over them, and try to stop this terrible fate. And because he was so good and loved his people so much they said ‘yes’. They put their faith in him and said we will follow where you go.
So the prince gathered his people and said “We must do something to bring people back to our land, to fill our inns and buy our goods. We must make people want to come and tend our fields so we will grow bountiful once again.”
“But how?” asked the people.
And the prince thought long and hard and finally came up with what he believed was a solution “Magic. We will hire the best wizards and they will bring magic to the land. They will build a great palace of ice and people will come from miles around to marvel at it beauty and word will spread from kingdom to kingdom and all will want to come and live in such a magical land.”
“Was it a wonderful palace?”
“It was never built.”
“Why not?”
“Hush.”
“I bet it would have been the best palace.”
“I bet it would have been, too.”
But wizards are very expensive and very sneaky. And they asked the land for more and more money to build the palace. And because the prince was still very young and little bit foolish and believed the best in all people, he gave the wizards all they asked for, until there was nothing left.
And the people looked up at the unfinished palace and grew scared. And that fear turned to anger. So much fear and so much anger that they went to the prince and said you have ruined us, you have brought a curse upon this land, and we will not follow you anymore.
The people banished him. He was made to leave the land where he had once been so loved and no one shed a tear to see him go.
The prince was left to wander alone for many years in exile. At first he did not wander very far for he still loved his land, but everywhere he went he was met not with a warm hand but a cold glare. And with each chilly reception, with every time he was turned away from the fire his heart froze a little more and more. Until it was frozen straight through.
And the prince thought this was a good thing. The prince became grateful for his heart of ice, for you see he had been away from the warmth of love so long that he couldn’t remember the feeling. Instead all he could remember was the pain of losing it, and now he didn’t feel that anymore.
But the problem with a heart of ice is it doesn’t feel anything.
And it is very cold.
“I don’t think I like this story.”
“Don’t worry it gets better. That’s the thing about fairytales, sometimes when things seem very, very bad . . . well that’s when real magic happens.”
“Promise?”
“Pinkie swear.”
So the prince with the heart of ice traveled far and wide. Traveled to far away lands. Until one day he arrived in a new kingdom where no one knew his name or had heard of how he’d been foolishly tricked by the wizards.
He lived in this land for many years. He learned from his earlier foolishness and became an advisor to the king. The king came to value the former prince’s counsel for its prudence, and began to send him out into the far reaches of his land to help the people.
But because the King was both wise and good, and saw that the prince’s counsel while clever was not tempered by mercy, he gave the prince a companion. A noble son of the land who had been ill as a young child and saved by a good fairy.
Now good fairies are wonderful things and this noble son grew up strong and beautiful and kind. But as with all magic there is a cost and in this case the cost was the noble son’s voice. He could speak wonderfully and people would come from far and wide to hear, but if ever he tried to say an unkind thing or anything that would make people unhappy, even if it was something the people needed to hear like “Your house is on fire,” well he’d just go back to talking about the sunrise or the flowers or something else equally useless.
So the former prince and the noble son traveled together to the far reaches of the land helping to solve problems for the king. And the noble son would tell the people how everything was going to be wonderful and how much the king loved them and all the while the prince with the heart of ice would go about telling the people what they really needed to do.
Sometimes the people did not want to hear this because, though it was always in the best interest of the land, the prince’s counsel could be harsh. He would tell people to leave the fields fallow for a season so they might be able to farm them for years even if this meant going with less food for a time. Or demand that all healthy men sacrifice one working day to repair the town wall. Still people do not like to be told to do what’s hard and so the noble son would have to come and smooth things over.
And the people would lift the noble son up on their shoulders and thank him.
And the prince would watch and his heart grew colder.
Until one day everything changed.
On this day the King called the prince and the noble son to him and said, “I must send you to the southern part of my kingdom, for there is a town there which is in grave danger.”
“From a dragon?”
“What?”
“The town, was it in danger from a dragon? There’s always dragon.”
“. . . Sure, why not? Let’s make it a dragon.”
So the prince and the noble son rode to the far south of the kingdom to help save the town from the dragon.
There are a couple of things you should know about dragons. First forget all those movies you’ve seen about fire-breathing and destruction. Dragons aren’t actually all that interested in either. What they really want is gold and a fair maiden to keep them company in their cave. (Preferably one with a good head on her shoulders because really vapid maidens are terrible company and not worth very much at all.)
Really they’re not that different from people that way.
But most people don’t take the time to find this out. They just see a dragon and get right to shooting it with arrows and catapults and all manner of totally useless weapons (which is about the time the fire-breathing and destruction starts, so let that be a lesson to you).
The prince, however, was not scared of the dragon (for when you cannot feel anything at all it is very difficult to be afraid). So he rode out to speak with it and asked the dragon what it would take for it to leave the town alone.
This particular dragon had actually been living outside the town for a very long time, and for many years the townspeople would come once a year and provide the dragon with tribute, and in return the dragon would guard the town and protect it from harm. But as the years had gone on, the people had grown lazy and distracted (including a period where they were ruled by an evil wizard named Zorp, but that’s another story for another time). So the people had forgotten all about the dragon and not given him a tribute for many years. And the dragon was understandably quite cranky about all of it.
Finally after much negotiating, (including some rather unreasonable demands for first born and virgins and even a dress spun of pure silver and woven with diamonds) the dragon agreed that he would release the town if gave him all the gold he was owed and sent it’s fairest, most intelligent maiden out to tend his cave.
Since the prince knew this was the best offer possible (because it really did take an astonishing amount of time to talk the dragon out of insisting on that dress), he left the dragon with the promise that he would return in a few weeks time with the maiden and the gold and rode back to begin to collect the gold and search for the right maiden.
When the prince returned to the town and told them of his plan, there was a great outcry. For although this would save them the people were scared and since they could not yell at the dragon, they yelled at the prince.
“Where will we find this money?” they asked. “We are a poor people. Would you save from the dragon only to have us die from starvation?”
“Do not worry,” the noble son reassured the people, “I am certain there must be another way. This dragon sounds like a very reasonable dragon. Perhaps if we offer to compose a ballad in its honor? I bet dragons love a ballad.”
“No.”
“The prince says no, everyone.”
So the prince and the noble son began to collect everything the townspeople could do without to give to the dragon, leaving them only the barest necessities. As you might imagine this upset many, because there is a funny thing about gold, the more of it you have . . . the more of it you think you need. So everywhere the prince went women wept and men hurled insults.
But because the prince’s heart was frozen, he remained unmoved.
Until one day he came to the holdings of one the town elders, a great huntsman. Now this huntsman was a simple man who had little use for gold or great wealth, and he had even less use for the rest of the town’s ruling class. (In fact he thought life might be a great deal better for all if the dragon were kind enough to eat a few of the town’s leaders just on general principle).
So the huntsman threw open the doors of his holdings to the prince and told him, “All that I have is yours to do with as you please. In fact I will help you dismantle that contraption over there myself as it does nothing but provide amusement to the town children and really they could all make better use of their time by learning to shoot. But first there must be a feast to celebrate your arrival. Do you like pig?”
The prince was flabbergasted for he had never encountered such a strange and welcoming reception. But no sooner had he found his voice to reply then there was a cry.
“Stop!” And the prince turned to find a golden-haired maiden standing on the other side of the room, thunderous with rage.
“Was she beautiful?”
“Oh yes, she was very beautiful.”
“Prettier than you?”
“Much prettier. In fact her beauty was the best kind of beauty, the kind that doesn’t fade with age or time, the kind that only grows more and more powerful the longer you look and the more you know her. Really it’s the only kind truly worth anything at all.”
“What was her name?”
“What do you want her name to be?”
“Waffles.”
“Waf-? What kind of name Is Waffles?”
“It’s my hamster’s name.”
*Sigh*
“Stop,” cried the fair maiden Waffles, “I will not allow you to take one rafter from this place. And you certainly cannot have the portion of our lands where the children play.”
“That is my ward Waffles. Ignore her.” the huntsman reassured the prince, “I can keep her in check.”
Since the prince was not dumb and Waffles didn’t look to be kept in check at all, he tried explain, “You do not understand. The dragon will destroy the town if we do not find enough gold.”
“You are already destroying this town. How can you not care that people labored to build this town? That they have lived their whole lives here and watched their children play. And you would take it all away from them for a stupid dragon?”
“I didn’t bring the dragon here.”
“Well I think you’re worse than the dragon. Because you look around at all the wonder in this town and don’t feel anything. You must have the coldest heart in all the land.”
Now the thing is sometimes just because a thing is true, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
Sometimes it actually hurts more.
So for the very first time in many, many years the prince felt his heart. The feeling was so unfamiliar and unwelcome that he left Waffles and the huntsman intending to return at a time when he would not have to see Waffles again.
“But he did right?”
“Yes, he did.”
“And he fell in love with her?”
“Shhh. No skipping ahead.”
“I bet he fell in love with her.”
part 2
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Leslie/Ben (kind of)
Word Count: ~2,400
Rating: PG (think Disney people)
Timeline: Up through 3x06 "Indianapolis" (again kinda)
Author's Note: So this is my response for Hiatus Fest Round Two's Fairytale Prompt. I'm sorry for posting this in parts, but I'm up against a work deadline that means I might not get the whole story finished in time (since it's becoming exponentially longer as I go and I am apparently completely incapable of something tiny for these two). But I wanted to get at least the first half in in time. Fair warning, this is both ludicrously sweet and a little cracky (also, there's a dragon).
There is a structure to fairytales. An order. A comforting certainty that the prince (or knight or gentle youngest son) will rescue the fair maiden and the land will rejoice and all will be well.
This is not that story.
Once not that long ago, in a land not too terribly different from here, there was a young man whose heart had been turned to ice.
“Was he a prince?”
“No, not really.”
“A knight?”
“Definitely not.”
“Why can’t he be a prince?”
“Fine. Let’s call him a prince.”
So in this rather close, and fairly similar land there was a “prince” whose heart had been turned to ice.
“Why?”
“We’re getting to that.”
“Was he a bad prince?”
“Are you going to do this the whole time?”
“Maybe.”
“---“
The prince wasn’t a bad prince at all, but when he was very young he saw that his land was dying. Travelers were no longer coming and the merchants had less and less to trade and he knew that if nothing was done, sooner or later his land would be no more. So he went to the people and he asked them to let him rule over them, and try to stop this terrible fate. And because he was so good and loved his people so much they said ‘yes’. They put their faith in him and said we will follow where you go.
So the prince gathered his people and said “We must do something to bring people back to our land, to fill our inns and buy our goods. We must make people want to come and tend our fields so we will grow bountiful once again.”
“But how?” asked the people.
And the prince thought long and hard and finally came up with what he believed was a solution “Magic. We will hire the best wizards and they will bring magic to the land. They will build a great palace of ice and people will come from miles around to marvel at it beauty and word will spread from kingdom to kingdom and all will want to come and live in such a magical land.”
“Was it a wonderful palace?”
“It was never built.”
“Why not?”
“Hush.”
“I bet it would have been the best palace.”
“I bet it would have been, too.”
But wizards are very expensive and very sneaky. And they asked the land for more and more money to build the palace. And because the prince was still very young and little bit foolish and believed the best in all people, he gave the wizards all they asked for, until there was nothing left.
And the people looked up at the unfinished palace and grew scared. And that fear turned to anger. So much fear and so much anger that they went to the prince and said you have ruined us, you have brought a curse upon this land, and we will not follow you anymore.
The people banished him. He was made to leave the land where he had once been so loved and no one shed a tear to see him go.
The prince was left to wander alone for many years in exile. At first he did not wander very far for he still loved his land, but everywhere he went he was met not with a warm hand but a cold glare. And with each chilly reception, with every time he was turned away from the fire his heart froze a little more and more. Until it was frozen straight through.
And the prince thought this was a good thing. The prince became grateful for his heart of ice, for you see he had been away from the warmth of love so long that he couldn’t remember the feeling. Instead all he could remember was the pain of losing it, and now he didn’t feel that anymore.
But the problem with a heart of ice is it doesn’t feel anything.
And it is very cold.
“I don’t think I like this story.”
“Don’t worry it gets better. That’s the thing about fairytales, sometimes when things seem very, very bad . . . well that’s when real magic happens.”
“Promise?”
“Pinkie swear.”
So the prince with the heart of ice traveled far and wide. Traveled to far away lands. Until one day he arrived in a new kingdom where no one knew his name or had heard of how he’d been foolishly tricked by the wizards.
He lived in this land for many years. He learned from his earlier foolishness and became an advisor to the king. The king came to value the former prince’s counsel for its prudence, and began to send him out into the far reaches of his land to help the people.
But because the King was both wise and good, and saw that the prince’s counsel while clever was not tempered by mercy, he gave the prince a companion. A noble son of the land who had been ill as a young child and saved by a good fairy.
Now good fairies are wonderful things and this noble son grew up strong and beautiful and kind. But as with all magic there is a cost and in this case the cost was the noble son’s voice. He could speak wonderfully and people would come from far and wide to hear, but if ever he tried to say an unkind thing or anything that would make people unhappy, even if it was something the people needed to hear like “Your house is on fire,” well he’d just go back to talking about the sunrise or the flowers or something else equally useless.
So the former prince and the noble son traveled together to the far reaches of the land helping to solve problems for the king. And the noble son would tell the people how everything was going to be wonderful and how much the king loved them and all the while the prince with the heart of ice would go about telling the people what they really needed to do.
Sometimes the people did not want to hear this because, though it was always in the best interest of the land, the prince’s counsel could be harsh. He would tell people to leave the fields fallow for a season so they might be able to farm them for years even if this meant going with less food for a time. Or demand that all healthy men sacrifice one working day to repair the town wall. Still people do not like to be told to do what’s hard and so the noble son would have to come and smooth things over.
And the people would lift the noble son up on their shoulders and thank him.
And the prince would watch and his heart grew colder.
Until one day everything changed.
On this day the King called the prince and the noble son to him and said, “I must send you to the southern part of my kingdom, for there is a town there which is in grave danger.”
“From a dragon?”
“What?”
“The town, was it in danger from a dragon? There’s always dragon.”
“. . . Sure, why not? Let’s make it a dragon.”
So the prince and the noble son rode to the far south of the kingdom to help save the town from the dragon.
There are a couple of things you should know about dragons. First forget all those movies you’ve seen about fire-breathing and destruction. Dragons aren’t actually all that interested in either. What they really want is gold and a fair maiden to keep them company in their cave. (Preferably one with a good head on her shoulders because really vapid maidens are terrible company and not worth very much at all.)
Really they’re not that different from people that way.
But most people don’t take the time to find this out. They just see a dragon and get right to shooting it with arrows and catapults and all manner of totally useless weapons (which is about the time the fire-breathing and destruction starts, so let that be a lesson to you).
The prince, however, was not scared of the dragon (for when you cannot feel anything at all it is very difficult to be afraid). So he rode out to speak with it and asked the dragon what it would take for it to leave the town alone.
This particular dragon had actually been living outside the town for a very long time, and for many years the townspeople would come once a year and provide the dragon with tribute, and in return the dragon would guard the town and protect it from harm. But as the years had gone on, the people had grown lazy and distracted (including a period where they were ruled by an evil wizard named Zorp, but that’s another story for another time). So the people had forgotten all about the dragon and not given him a tribute for many years. And the dragon was understandably quite cranky about all of it.
Finally after much negotiating, (including some rather unreasonable demands for first born and virgins and even a dress spun of pure silver and woven with diamonds) the dragon agreed that he would release the town if gave him all the gold he was owed and sent it’s fairest, most intelligent maiden out to tend his cave.
Since the prince knew this was the best offer possible (because it really did take an astonishing amount of time to talk the dragon out of insisting on that dress), he left the dragon with the promise that he would return in a few weeks time with the maiden and the gold and rode back to begin to collect the gold and search for the right maiden.
When the prince returned to the town and told them of his plan, there was a great outcry. For although this would save them the people were scared and since they could not yell at the dragon, they yelled at the prince.
“Where will we find this money?” they asked. “We are a poor people. Would you save from the dragon only to have us die from starvation?”
“Do not worry,” the noble son reassured the people, “I am certain there must be another way. This dragon sounds like a very reasonable dragon. Perhaps if we offer to compose a ballad in its honor? I bet dragons love a ballad.”
“No.”
“The prince says no, everyone.”
So the prince and the noble son began to collect everything the townspeople could do without to give to the dragon, leaving them only the barest necessities. As you might imagine this upset many, because there is a funny thing about gold, the more of it you have . . . the more of it you think you need. So everywhere the prince went women wept and men hurled insults.
But because the prince’s heart was frozen, he remained unmoved.
Until one day he came to the holdings of one the town elders, a great huntsman. Now this huntsman was a simple man who had little use for gold or great wealth, and he had even less use for the rest of the town’s ruling class. (In fact he thought life might be a great deal better for all if the dragon were kind enough to eat a few of the town’s leaders just on general principle).
So the huntsman threw open the doors of his holdings to the prince and told him, “All that I have is yours to do with as you please. In fact I will help you dismantle that contraption over there myself as it does nothing but provide amusement to the town children and really they could all make better use of their time by learning to shoot. But first there must be a feast to celebrate your arrival. Do you like pig?”
The prince was flabbergasted for he had never encountered such a strange and welcoming reception. But no sooner had he found his voice to reply then there was a cry.
“Stop!” And the prince turned to find a golden-haired maiden standing on the other side of the room, thunderous with rage.
“Was she beautiful?”
“Oh yes, she was very beautiful.”
“Prettier than you?”
“Much prettier. In fact her beauty was the best kind of beauty, the kind that doesn’t fade with age or time, the kind that only grows more and more powerful the longer you look and the more you know her. Really it’s the only kind truly worth anything at all.”
“What was her name?”
“What do you want her name to be?”
“Waffles.”
“Waf-? What kind of name Is Waffles?”
“It’s my hamster’s name.”
*Sigh*
“Stop,” cried the fair maiden Waffles, “I will not allow you to take one rafter from this place. And you certainly cannot have the portion of our lands where the children play.”
“That is my ward Waffles. Ignore her.” the huntsman reassured the prince, “I can keep her in check.”
Since the prince was not dumb and Waffles didn’t look to be kept in check at all, he tried explain, “You do not understand. The dragon will destroy the town if we do not find enough gold.”
“You are already destroying this town. How can you not care that people labored to build this town? That they have lived their whole lives here and watched their children play. And you would take it all away from them for a stupid dragon?”
“I didn’t bring the dragon here.”
“Well I think you’re worse than the dragon. Because you look around at all the wonder in this town and don’t feel anything. You must have the coldest heart in all the land.”
Now the thing is sometimes just because a thing is true, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
Sometimes it actually hurts more.
So for the very first time in many, many years the prince felt his heart. The feeling was so unfamiliar and unwelcome that he left Waffles and the huntsman intending to return at a time when he would not have to see Waffles again.
“But he did right?”
“Yes, he did.”
“And he fell in love with her?”
“Shhh. No skipping ahead.”
“I bet he fell in love with her.”
part 2