so, i guess my friends have put me on the need to know basis. im really tired of being kept out of the loop. why do they even keep me around? they want me to help with things, and they wont tell me all sides of the story. maybe they should just keep me out of it all together. i really want to help, ive tried everything i could to help, and im ( Read more... )

so i finally did it. i got the outline for my half sleave. it hurt like a motherfucker, but it was worth it. its bitchin. the pain was liberating; the ink was intoxicating. in 2 weeks im going back to get the shading done ( Read more... )

i had trouble getting started with this blog thing. i thought why have a journal that everyone can read? then i realized that this is like my normal interaction with everyone... nobody hears. no one gives a shit what i have to say, for the most part. im always in the background. i get drowned out. nobody cares. i try, and i try. i put blood ( Read more... )

great show tonight. i thought count fred was a great bit, to bad it feel upon deaf ears. at least it will get downloaded a bit, i hope. i feel like im spinning my wheels. its kinda shitty. oh well. its not like i have anything better to do with my life. i just want to feel alive. FUCK!!!! im screaming inside, and nobody hears. im not alone ( Read more... )

With every drag of my cigarette I lose myself in my mind. Or maybe I could just be losing my mind. I can't tell the difference anymore. I just watch everyone else enjoy life and wonder "why not me". All that I've done with my life is watch it pass by. Every opportunity that I've been given I've pissed away. What will it take for me to start ( Read more... )

well, i might as well if nobody else will. i went to a tattoo shop tonight with strangelove and got the artist to draw up a cool design for me. its going to be bitchin'. i did a lot of work on myspace too. this sunday i think we might finally do the count fred bit. i really hope so because it has been getting some good feedback. el hector's ( Read more... )

Im just doing some last minute advertising for the show tonight. I unloaded a blitzkrieg on Myspace. Hope it does some good. I really have a good feeling about tonights show, even though most of us are really hurting after last nights party. It was fucking awesome. Eddie came as a fucking Mormon missionary. He had the bike helmet and all. ( Read more... )

God damnit, there are certain people that just need to be lined up and shot in the head. Near the top of that list are fucking douche bag assholes that beat up their girlfriends. The world would be a much better place without those fucktards. i guess i have some kind of superhero complex or something because i always want to come to the rescue ( Read more... )

im up at the Rush right now, and i feel like getting something off my chest. every time i see angela a rush of emotions goes through me. like at eddie's party, she went there with some some dude she just started dating. he was a fucking DOUCHE BAG!!! i wanted to ask her "what the FUCK do you see in that guy? why the FUCK do you keep dating ( Read more... )

hey, hows it going. another great night at I.M. me and eddie were hitting on some lez girls and, oh my god, they were HOT. anyway, we were in like sin, and they wanted to take us back to their place. it took all of my power just to say no. somehow i was able to talk eddie out of it to. it would have been a great night in the sack, but i have ( Read more... )