Ben and I went to a party in essex. I had alot of fun. I met alot of nice people. I had to stay at bens friend johnnys with ben, johnny and liz. I had alot more fun then I thought I would. Woot Woot.

ps- After this my journal is friends only. Sorry, some people are reading it that have no business being anywhere near my life.

I had been waiting for the truth to come out. It finally did. He is the most scared person I know. It must suck to not be able to ever say your true feelings. I hear them every time we were alone and he would get all upset and then his need to be accepted would seep back into the story and he would be mean. I was talking to someone today who made ( Read more... )

Today was a weird day at classes. Alot of weird stuff happened, that im not to happy with. I was exhausted this morning because I stayed out entirely to late. I suppose I had a good enough reason too. I had a nice time with him. He made a proposition to me...Don't know how long it will last. I think if he sticks with it then ill go for it. We are ( Read more... )

This was it. He told me all this stuff last night and then took it back. I guess I needed that last kick in the ass to really set it in. I can't believe I even bought his bullshit "I love you...I want to be with you...Im coming over to watch sex and the city..." I feel so fucking stupid now. I really do hate him now. Apparently I was acting weird.. ( Read more... )

So he just told me that he is still in love with me and this is so hard for him and he wants to get back together. Im so confused. I don't know if this is him being honest of maybe he is having a moment of weakness and tomorrow he'll hate me again. I told him i'd think about it, but honestly...unless he really shows me that he has changed and this ( Read more... )

I have been through absolute hell today. My god. I can't believe im still standing let alone smiling. I realized today how strong I really am. I don't need any man. It would be nice to casually date someone,ya know, its getting cold out and I miss snuggling and sleeping in on weekends or staying in and being "old people". That is the stuff that ( Read more... )

haha ( Read more... )

I have always prided myself on the fact that I don't talk shit about my friends and I hope they give me the same respect. If im pissed at them I simply say that. The one thing I won't stand for is someone claiming that I did something that I did not. If I did, simply put...I would say so! I've made alot of mistakes when it came to him. I acted ( Read more... )

I saw the new gap commercial with Brandon Boyd. All I have to say is SEXY. That is by far the sexiest commercial I have ever seen. (Thanks Trav!) I took a nice little nap earlier. Only about an hour and a half but it will do. Im suppose to go see some scary movie later. Im nervous. Ive already been having nightmares, a scary movie probably won't ( Read more... )

I talked to him again tonight...well actually a couple times today. It felt nice. Nice like it use to. This might not be good for me. Its like an addiction. I honestly do consider him a friend though. He is someone that I can always go to with anything and he'll give me a honest response. With each passing conversation it gets harder to not want to ( Read more... )