You're close enough to see that you're on the other side of the world to me
Muhlenberg's Class of 2012 has officially moved in. The usual first-day shenanigans have already occurred: they left most of their trash in the hallway (parents and students alike) because they believe some slave magical entity will clean up after them, they've drilled holes in the walls, and they're beginning to bond as a group. Good, good. I feel a bit bad sitting in Suzie's room when she's not here because I think it's confusing her residents, but they'll be officially meeting her in about two hours and it should hopefully become obvious that I'm just a visitor. Despite having to navigate the awkwardness, it's good to be back for a visit.
Driving here yesterday afternoon was... a trip. And a half. In the morning I had an interview out in Oakdale (more on that in a moment) and did very well getting out there and back home to pick up the EZ Pass/tank up, not to mention I left the interview feeling hopeful for a change about possibly being employed and actually enjoying my job! I did fine with my parents'/the GPS' directions until I got off the Goethals Bridge and onto the Jersey Turnpike. I did something; either I missed an exit (actually, I know I did, several times over) or I couldn't follow in twenty yards, bear right/left/whatever. It's both. It's everything about directions. Those of you who know me know I'm directionally challenged. I get it from my dad and most of the times, I laugh it off because it's just funny. But I spent an extra hour driving on and off the Turnpike looking for the exit that would take me to 78 West. I hit toll after toll, and eventually started driving through the CASH ONLY lanes to talk to a real person so that I could beg for directions. Half the time I had my mom on speakerphone because I felt incredibly lost and defeated. All the confidence I had from the interview drained as I went around in circles again and again, hearing the GPS' impatient ROUTE RECALCULATION and in 50 yards, TURN BACK with each bumbling detour. If mom was on the phone, she'd ask me to pull over so that she would have time to locate on the map the part of Jersey I was passing. Most of the time I'd ignore her and keep driving, but there was one point (when I finally FOUND and entered 78) that I pulled over in anticipation of her asking me to, and essentially screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration when she did because I had already, and felt utterly incompetent. Clocking in at over four hours when it should have taken me half that, I pulled on to the 'Berg campus to hand in my Nassau Community transcript to the registrar (got an A in Italian, btw!) and greeted some very happy RAs during one of their training sessions. Suz was an especially wonderful sight for sore eyes.
The whole incident has taught (?) me that among other things, I don't believe in myself very much. I had a flashback earlier today to the fourth grade in Mrs. Kroll's class. We had this workbook specifically devoted to geography and map-reading, and it was one of the few areas I never fully understood. I remember that most of the activities in that book were group-based, and I would almost always wind up copying a friend's answers because the exercises never made sense. I got the grid concept, where if you place your fingers on a letter and number respectively, where they meet in the middle on the map is a particular coordinate. But following routes? Nope, try again. Approximating distances from one location to another? Forget it.
Confidence. I think that confidence (in part) means being comfortable in going with your gut instinct(s). And I can remember clearly at least twice zooming along the turnpike feeling in my gut I should take a turn here or exit there. But I ignored those instincts. Instead I followed the GPS because I wanted to put my faith in technology, that no matter where I went it would adjust the route based on where I was going.
I tried to nap a few hours ago since Suzie and I woke up at 5:15 this morning to finish her door decorations and generally get ready for the freshmen to arrive. My brain wouldn't shut off though. Doubts of being able to get home on Sunday were all I could think about. The feelings of uncertainty in the car gripped my head and my heart. Being assured that my dad has made the same mistakes on the Turnpike didn't really help either.
So there are at least two things I need to work on: my sense of direction and confidence.
In happier news, the interview I mentioned earlier did go extremely well in my opinion. It was with the Cultural Care Au Pair Training School at St. John's University for a Residence Life Coordinator position (and then some!). I had seen the posting in April, but held off applying until I got home. When I did, I sent it to the email address specified and received a confirmation email and was supposed to be notified within 24-48 hours of submission. When a week and a half passed, I started to call the company to try and figure out if I had at least made the first cut. Apparently the email never reached the right people. The woman who interviewed me called Wednesday night asking if I had some time Thursday morning to have a longer phone conversation with her to answer some preliminary questions, and I offered (despite a small part of me wanting to leave for Allentown first thing in the morning) to drive out for a face-to-face interview since I was coming into the application process rather late. I figured every effort counted and I had nothing to lose.
I'm glad I chose to drive out there because it lasted over two hours! I had a lot of fun and got a full campus tour. The office staff is incredibly small; three to five full time employees and a bunch of interns (who are constantly in rotation) manage roughly 500 au pairs each week! What happens is the au pairs (nannies) come in to the campus from a million different locations world-wide on a Sunday or Monday and have orientation Tuesday-Thursday. They are given a crash course on American life and lessons about child-rearing and live on campus. On Thursday they are taken into NYC for a guided tour/some last-minute fun before they go to live with their host family for either a year or two year stints on a work visa. On Friday they all leave for the host family's location and the staff is then given the weekend to pretty much reset and prep for the next week's arrivals. Rinse, lather, repeat. Except not! Because it's insane! And there's such a cultural learning curve!
I'm not sure what my chances are at this point. I know I came in and unexpectedly made a great impression; I just don't know how much. I think, if there were any visible faults I displayed, it was probably that I was overly excited. They're looking for someone with high energy and the woman I interviewed with commented on how vibrant and eager I was, but I think I might have smiled too much? Showed a bit too much enthusiasm? I honestly felt like I could start working there the next day. So much of the RA skills sharpened at Muhlenberg could be applied to this job, and I made sure to say so. Ugh! I have hope for once! Up until now, I've only had two other interviews and they both turned out to be for sales. Every interview is good practice and I keep reminding myself that it's going to take time. I finally was notified that the res life job I applied for at Cooper Union was filled, although they were one school I knew would legitimately want the ideal applicant to have a Masters' degree. I would really like to start filling my bank account again. I want to finish paying my student loans! But most of all, I want to have something to say when someone asks me, "so what do you do?" upon finding out I graduated. In time, I guess.
Driving here yesterday afternoon was... a trip. And a half. In the morning I had an interview out in Oakdale (more on that in a moment) and did very well getting out there and back home to pick up the EZ Pass/tank up, not to mention I left the interview feeling hopeful for a change about possibly being employed and actually enjoying my job! I did fine with my parents'/the GPS' directions until I got off the Goethals Bridge and onto the Jersey Turnpike. I did something; either I missed an exit (actually, I know I did, several times over) or I couldn't follow in twenty yards, bear right/left/whatever. It's both. It's everything about directions. Those of you who know me know I'm directionally challenged. I get it from my dad and most of the times, I laugh it off because it's just funny. But I spent an extra hour driving on and off the Turnpike looking for the exit that would take me to 78 West. I hit toll after toll, and eventually started driving through the CASH ONLY lanes to talk to a real person so that I could beg for directions. Half the time I had my mom on speakerphone because I felt incredibly lost and defeated. All the confidence I had from the interview drained as I went around in circles again and again, hearing the GPS' impatient ROUTE RECALCULATION and in 50 yards, TURN BACK with each bumbling detour. If mom was on the phone, she'd ask me to pull over so that she would have time to locate on the map the part of Jersey I was passing. Most of the time I'd ignore her and keep driving, but there was one point (when I finally FOUND and entered 78) that I pulled over in anticipation of her asking me to, and essentially screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration when she did because I had already, and felt utterly incompetent. Clocking in at over four hours when it should have taken me half that, I pulled on to the 'Berg campus to hand in my Nassau Community transcript to the registrar (got an A in Italian, btw!) and greeted some very happy RAs during one of their training sessions. Suz was an especially wonderful sight for sore eyes.
The whole incident has taught (?) me that among other things, I don't believe in myself very much. I had a flashback earlier today to the fourth grade in Mrs. Kroll's class. We had this workbook specifically devoted to geography and map-reading, and it was one of the few areas I never fully understood. I remember that most of the activities in that book were group-based, and I would almost always wind up copying a friend's answers because the exercises never made sense. I got the grid concept, where if you place your fingers on a letter and number respectively, where they meet in the middle on the map is a particular coordinate. But following routes? Nope, try again. Approximating distances from one location to another? Forget it.
Confidence. I think that confidence (in part) means being comfortable in going with your gut instinct(s). And I can remember clearly at least twice zooming along the turnpike feeling in my gut I should take a turn here or exit there. But I ignored those instincts. Instead I followed the GPS because I wanted to put my faith in technology, that no matter where I went it would adjust the route based on where I was going.
I tried to nap a few hours ago since Suzie and I woke up at 5:15 this morning to finish her door decorations and generally get ready for the freshmen to arrive. My brain wouldn't shut off though. Doubts of being able to get home on Sunday were all I could think about. The feelings of uncertainty in the car gripped my head and my heart. Being assured that my dad has made the same mistakes on the Turnpike didn't really help either.
So there are at least two things I need to work on: my sense of direction and confidence.
In happier news, the interview I mentioned earlier did go extremely well in my opinion. It was with the Cultural Care Au Pair Training School at St. John's University for a Residence Life Coordinator position (and then some!). I had seen the posting in April, but held off applying until I got home. When I did, I sent it to the email address specified and received a confirmation email and was supposed to be notified within 24-48 hours of submission. When a week and a half passed, I started to call the company to try and figure out if I had at least made the first cut. Apparently the email never reached the right people. The woman who interviewed me called Wednesday night asking if I had some time Thursday morning to have a longer phone conversation with her to answer some preliminary questions, and I offered (despite a small part of me wanting to leave for Allentown first thing in the morning) to drive out for a face-to-face interview since I was coming into the application process rather late. I figured every effort counted and I had nothing to lose.
I'm glad I chose to drive out there because it lasted over two hours! I had a lot of fun and got a full campus tour. The office staff is incredibly small; three to five full time employees and a bunch of interns (who are constantly in rotation) manage roughly 500 au pairs each week! What happens is the au pairs (nannies) come in to the campus from a million different locations world-wide on a Sunday or Monday and have orientation Tuesday-Thursday. They are given a crash course on American life and lessons about child-rearing and live on campus. On Thursday they are taken into NYC for a guided tour/some last-minute fun before they go to live with their host family for either a year or two year stints on a work visa. On Friday they all leave for the host family's location and the staff is then given the weekend to pretty much reset and prep for the next week's arrivals. Rinse, lather, repeat. Except not! Because it's insane! And there's such a cultural learning curve!
I'm not sure what my chances are at this point. I know I came in and unexpectedly made a great impression; I just don't know how much. I think, if there were any visible faults I displayed, it was probably that I was overly excited. They're looking for someone with high energy and the woman I interviewed with commented on how vibrant and eager I was, but I think I might have smiled too much? Showed a bit too much enthusiasm? I honestly felt like I could start working there the next day. So much of the RA skills sharpened at Muhlenberg could be applied to this job, and I made sure to say so. Ugh! I have hope for once! Up until now, I've only had two other interviews and they both turned out to be for sales. Every interview is good practice and I keep reminding myself that it's going to take time. I finally was notified that the res life job I applied for at Cooper Union was filled, although they were one school I knew would legitimately want the ideal applicant to have a Masters' degree. I would really like to start filling my bank account again. I want to finish paying my student loans! But most of all, I want to have something to say when someone asks me, "so what do you do?" upon finding out I graduated. In time, I guess.