(no subject)
I just got back from midnight mass with my mother and I really need to get this out. I'm sorry if it offends anyone, that is not my intention. But this is my journal, so if you don't like it, don't continue reading it.
I understand completely that when faced with death or pain some people turn to religion for solace. And good for them, seriously. It's so nice that people have something to turn to that they truly believe and makes them feel better. And thats why, not for the world would I say any of the following to my mother.
But I don't believe it. And furthermore, I would much rather believe in the absense of a 'god' than in the presense of one who would allow such things as the death of my cousin at the age of 27, leaving both his parents and a 7 year old son behind him.
I know that most people would tell me that I can't blame 'god' because he is merciful and loving and everything he does is because of some great big plan that he has for all of us.
I don't care. If causing a child, let alone the rest of my family, this amount of pain, is a part of his 'plan', then I want nothing to do with it.
And I know that even in refusing to follow this 'god', that I'm proving my belief in his existence. But in all honestly, I chalk that up to an upbringing in a catholic family that brainwashed me into this way of thinking. So that even though I do not believe that he exists, I still speak as though he does, simply for the reason that I always have and habits (whether good or bad) are hard to break.
So for my mother to have dragged me against my will to that church, and for me having to endur an hour of the priest continually telling us to 'rejoice' and be happy because of christmas, while crying my eyes out all the while, I have just one thing to share with you:
Me (1:38:23 AM): i spent the entire time crying while the priest continually exclaimed 'rejoice'
Me (1:38:30 AM): i wanted to throw something at him >.<
Samala (10:28:41 PM): hahaha
Samala (10:28:49 PM): i could just see you doin that
Me (1:39:20 AM): lol
Samala (10:29:03 PM): you'd miss and he'd be like "what the f*ck was that?!"
Samala (10:29:13 PM): THE HOLY GHOST
Me (1:39:56 AM): haha
So Happy Christmas if you do believe, Have a good day, if you don't, and for those forced to lie every second of the coming day rather than face the wrath of a fake Catholic mother like myself, Good Luck.
I understand completely that when faced with death or pain some people turn to religion for solace. And good for them, seriously. It's so nice that people have something to turn to that they truly believe and makes them feel better. And thats why, not for the world would I say any of the following to my mother.
But I don't believe it. And furthermore, I would much rather believe in the absense of a 'god' than in the presense of one who would allow such things as the death of my cousin at the age of 27, leaving both his parents and a 7 year old son behind him.
I know that most people would tell me that I can't blame 'god' because he is merciful and loving and everything he does is because of some great big plan that he has for all of us.
I don't care. If causing a child, let alone the rest of my family, this amount of pain, is a part of his 'plan', then I want nothing to do with it.
And I know that even in refusing to follow this 'god', that I'm proving my belief in his existence. But in all honestly, I chalk that up to an upbringing in a catholic family that brainwashed me into this way of thinking. So that even though I do not believe that he exists, I still speak as though he does, simply for the reason that I always have and habits (whether good or bad) are hard to break.
So for my mother to have dragged me against my will to that church, and for me having to endur an hour of the priest continually telling us to 'rejoice' and be happy because of christmas, while crying my eyes out all the while, I have just one thing to share with you:
Me (1:38:23 AM): i spent the entire time crying while the priest continually exclaimed 'rejoice'
Me (1:38:30 AM): i wanted to throw something at him >.<
Samala (10:28:41 PM): hahaha
Samala (10:28:49 PM): i could just see you doin that
Me (1:39:20 AM): lol
Samala (10:29:03 PM): you'd miss and he'd be like "what the f*ck was that?!"
Samala (10:29:13 PM): THE HOLY GHOST
Me (1:39:56 AM): haha
So Happy Christmas if you do believe, Have a good day, if you don't, and for those forced to lie every second of the coming day rather than face the wrath of a fake Catholic mother like myself, Good Luck.