Agh. Aaarrgh. Not now, not now. NOT NOW! Nonononono, I can't believe this. I'm having panic attacks for no reason. Yesterday evening, and now. But I can't, not now, it's not ... I'm not ALLOWED to. Oh bloody hell. I shouldn't write in this state, really I shouldn't, last time was bad enough. It was a long time ago. But I can't do anything else
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