So, yeah. So much for my whole "I'm going to update regularly" deal. Oh well, at least some people are still worse at it than I am **cough** Tadd **coughcough
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I'd say you've got the right idea, but maybe put a bit more distance between you two. Cut the hanging out down to no more than once a week and keep it as brief and as casual as possible (like just hanging out at the pub for a couple hours or something). Hang out with her in groups as much as possible and talk to the other people in the group just as much as her. Also, don't make it a point to sit next to her when you're all hanging out as a group. And no physical contact whatsoever! If she asks to hang out more, tell her you've got plans or you're extremely tired. And if after a few weeks of that, she's still coming on just as strong, you may want to just have a heart-to-heart with her
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yeah you're right about what needs to be done. Part that confuses me is that she already knows I'm not interested, and says that's fine... yet still wants to hang out. She didn't make any kinds of advances towards me or anything today, and, as shy as she is, I doubt she's ever going to. I just don't want her to get the wrong idea, because I do think she's cool... but I'm not going to become romantically interested in her. Not sure why, cuz she is a great chick, but I'm not gonna force anything when I'm just not feelin it.
She might think that you could still be receptive to being interested at some point in time, or maybe she's trying to change your mind. The I'm not looking for a relationship right now thing isn't a set-in-stone statement saying you aren't into HER at all, so maybe she's trying to stick it out until you are ready. Or, it could be that she already knows you don't like her in that way and she's gotten past it, but you're taking her friendliness as flirting. I've never seen you two together, so it's hard to tell. If you're sure that she's still hoping for you to change your mind about her and her flirting is genuine flirting, I'd err on the side of caution and just try to keep your distance. It's not fair to her if you know she isn't getting the idea, but you're still going the extra mile to be friendly towards her. Those mixed signals can keep her little flame for you going. After awhile of sticking with it, she's bound to get the right idea eventually
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Yeah I agree on the "err on the side of caution" idea. Gonna wait it out and see what happens, but if she keeps it up, we're just gonna have to have a little talk. Not like we're kids or not mature enough to handle it, hell she's almost 26 lol, but it's never fun to turn someone down. (Plus I'm not used to it haha, usually I'M the one getting turned down!)
I was once in a similar situation. The major difference was that the girl was disturbingly bipolar and regularly cut herself. I decided to be friends with her despite her attraction because she wasn't a bad person and as I have problems with depression I could somewhat understand what she was going through. I gave her the same excuse, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now?" I then became attracted to and soon went out with her best friend. I've never seen such insanity out of a person in my life.
hahah - well you know the really sad thing? Her best friend is also an assistant manager at the hotel and is one of the few chicks there who I actually AM attracted to lol. I actually think she's cool as hell and would date her in a heartbeat (if she wasn't almost 30) - Guess I better take your advice? LOL.
oh and on a side note, I just realized that her friend has already somewhat helped me follow Heather's advice. I've gone out with the 2 of them after work several times now and I usually end up talkin to Allison (the friend) more than Linda anyway, because Allison and I are much less shy and more talkative than Linda anyway and have more in common. At first I felt bad, but now from what Heather said - I realize that was actually a good thing. Mixed signals are bad. Don't wanna send em lol.
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My advice, stay away from her best friend.
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