UGH.
I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm hungry.
I'm sick of fucking being LECTURED. I'm always the fucking bad guy. NEVER the other party! It's always ME.
Cos, you know, I did SO much wrong, right!? So much. Gave my fucking life for someone and that's all wrong. Now I'm not allowed to feel ANYTHING for everything that happened. It makes me wrong. "It's in the past." Everyone's FAVORITE fucking phrase lately. You know what? I'll tell EVERYONE, RIGHT NOW: Don't tell me how to feel. Don't tell me I should be over it, don't tell me that a certain number of months should make a fucking difference. I FUCKING SEE COUNSELORS BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING SHIT AND ALL THREE OF THEM FUCKING TOLD ME THAT IT CAN FUCKING TAKE YEARS! SO LEAVE ME ALONE TO DEAL WITH WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH if you have nothing but NEGATIVE things to fucking say to me.
I hadn't even COMPLAINED of anything I was fucking feeling towards Reigh-Leigh in WEEKS. NOT A THING. Because I didn't FEEL anything. I was FINE. I was fucking absolutely, peechy fucking keen, FINE! And then I had to see her and she upset me. WHOOPTY FUCKING DOO. So I fucking reverted a bit into how I'd felt BEFORE and I posted how I felt about that. THAT'S ALL!
I post something and someone retaliates and I feel the need to defend what I posted and I get in shit for it.
I'm not allowed to feel ANYTHING. I'm not allowed to defend myself.
In fact, I shouldn't HAVE to fucking defend my feelings!!!!
Everyone's taken the other side and that's fine and dandy. I really couldn't care less. But don't come lecturing to me on her behalf cos I don't fucking need it. I have enough to fucking deal with. I posted MY feelings in MY journal the other day and NO ONE ELSE BUT HER gave a shit and had to retaliate. Did I fucking go to her and say "You did this, you did that, blah blah blah?" NO. In fact, TECHNICALLY, I haven't even spoken TO her her for WEEKS now. You fucking tell ME who's in the fucking wrong for that.
I've had enough of the fucking bullshit. I've had enough of everything.
I can't wait to be gone.
CLEARLY, no one fucking wants me here anyway.
I'm sick of fucking being LECTURED. I'm always the fucking bad guy. NEVER the other party! It's always ME.
Cos, you know, I did SO much wrong, right!? So much. Gave my fucking life for someone and that's all wrong. Now I'm not allowed to feel ANYTHING for everything that happened. It makes me wrong. "It's in the past." Everyone's FAVORITE fucking phrase lately. You know what? I'll tell EVERYONE, RIGHT NOW: Don't tell me how to feel. Don't tell me I should be over it, don't tell me that a certain number of months should make a fucking difference. I FUCKING SEE COUNSELORS BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING SHIT AND ALL THREE OF THEM FUCKING TOLD ME THAT IT CAN FUCKING TAKE YEARS! SO LEAVE ME ALONE TO DEAL WITH WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH if you have nothing but NEGATIVE things to fucking say to me.
I hadn't even COMPLAINED of anything I was fucking feeling towards Reigh-Leigh in WEEKS. NOT A THING. Because I didn't FEEL anything. I was FINE. I was fucking absolutely, peechy fucking keen, FINE! And then I had to see her and she upset me. WHOOPTY FUCKING DOO. So I fucking reverted a bit into how I'd felt BEFORE and I posted how I felt about that. THAT'S ALL!
I post something and someone retaliates and I feel the need to defend what I posted and I get in shit for it.
I'm not allowed to feel ANYTHING. I'm not allowed to defend myself.
In fact, I shouldn't HAVE to fucking defend my feelings!!!!
Everyone's taken the other side and that's fine and dandy. I really couldn't care less. But don't come lecturing to me on her behalf cos I don't fucking need it. I have enough to fucking deal with. I posted MY feelings in MY journal the other day and NO ONE ELSE BUT HER gave a shit and had to retaliate. Did I fucking go to her and say "You did this, you did that, blah blah blah?" NO. In fact, TECHNICALLY, I haven't even spoken TO her her for WEEKS now. You fucking tell ME who's in the fucking wrong for that.
I've had enough of the fucking bullshit. I've had enough of everything.
I can't wait to be gone.
CLEARLY, no one fucking wants me here anyway.