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Part 1 <<
THE ARRIVAL OF MR. COLLINS
Mr. Collins: Hello. I am Mr. Collins, loyal fanboi of Lady Catherine.
Mr. Collins: Hello. I am Lord Cutler Beckett Mr. Collins, also loyal fanboi of Lady Catherine.
Mr. Collins: *fanbois Lady Catherine some more*
Elizabeth: Holy crap, this guy's even a bigger moron than Mr. Darcy! *ROFL*
THE ARRIVAL OF MR. WICKHAM
Mr. Wickham: *arrives*
Mr. Wickham: *arrives and looks suspiciously like a certain Mr. Bloom*
Elizabeth: Humina humina.
Mr. Bingley & Mr. Darcy: *happen to be riding by*
Mr. Bingley: Coo-ee! What a coicky-dink!
Mr. Darcy: *evil glare of d00m*
Mr. Wickham: ...
Elizabeth: Eh? Wassup with that?
Mr. Wickham: We were BFFs, then he dumped me cos he is teh sn0b.
Elizabeth: I KNEW IT.
Mr. Wickham: *flirts*
Elizabeth: Teehee! He's so nice and truthful, and not at all like that stupid Mr. Darcy.
THE BALL AT MR. BINGLEY'S HOUSE
Elizabeth: *arrives* Hmm, I wonder if Mr. Wickham is here...
Mr. Darcy: OMG SHE CAME-*cough*-hmm, she came, how nice. I suppose I should do the polite thing and stalk her for a bit.
Elizabeth: *has to dance with Mr. Collins*
Mr Darcy: Wah, so pretty. Elizabeth, that is, not Mr. Collins.
Mr. Darcy: *accosts Elizabeth* Dance?
Elizabeth: *has a brainfart* Okay.
Elizabeth: WAT. *smacks self*
Mr. Darcy: Yay, I finally get to dance with Elizabeth!
Elizabeth: Please be over soon.
Conversation: *is witty*
Dance: *is filled with sexual tension*
Mr. Collins: *is tiny compared to Mr. Darcy*
THE FIRST PROPOSAL
Mr. Collins: Miss Elizabeth...
Mr. Collins: Miss Elizabeth Swann...Elizabeth: Oh no.
Mr. Collins: Marriage is good, Lady Catherine told me so. That's why I'm here, and I'll take good care of you-
Elizabeth: No.
Mr. Collins: Haha, you tease, this happens a lot, I've been told-
Elizabeth: No.
Mr. Collins: You'll probably never be proposed to ever again, you know?
Elizabeth: FOR GOD'S SAKE, NO!
Mr. Collins: O_o
SAD TIDINGS
Jane: Bingley's gone. :(
Elizabeth: I'm sure he didn't leave you for good. Why don't you go to London and see if you can bump into him? As for me, I'll go visit my friend Charlotte (who, BTW, ended up marrying Mr. Collins). I'm sure you'll be reunited with your boy, and nothing interesting will happen to me at all.
NEXT UP: PART 3