I'm not ChildFree... I'm childless.
I found out yesterday from my doctor that it is unlikely that I will ever be able to bear children.
To paraphrase what she told me before everything just turned into one buzzing blur....
My ovarian reserves are low, and my production of FSH (Follicle-stimulating hormone) is on the high end. This is generally found in women who are or have undergone menopause. I am only 30 years old.
If I were to start trying to get pregnant right now, I would have perhaps a 30-40% chance of natural conception, and roughly a 30-35% chance of carrying a child to term, should I actually conceive. She said that these numbers can drop off pretty drastically the longer I wait.
My doctor knows how much I wanted to bear a child, and she urged me to begin hormone therapy to increase the likelyhood of my producing at least one healthy, viable egg, and to freeze it, as I don't currently have an active partner... but unfortunately while my insurance covers fertility treatments for couples who are actively trying (they cover up to 60%).... they don't cover freezing eggs for later attempts at pregnancy.
So right now my only option is to come back in in 3-6 months for a repeat of the testing, to see how rapidly my ...."timeline" is decreasing.
And yes. I know that right now, with the man I wanted to have those babies with not able to be in the picture, having children right now is not feasible anyway. And yes, I know about adoption and fostering. And I know that they are all things to consider in the future.
But right now... the concern is time. And from a biological standpoint.... I am running out of it. My biotic foot is on the metaphorical gas pedal, and is racing toward the finish line... and there's no way to know just how quickly that hourglass will deplete.
I always knew I wanted to be a mother, and... trying to accept the fact that it is not likely to ever happen is something that I am trying to come to terms with. This isn't something I expected to have to deal with at 30 years old.
I never thought I'd be out of time before it even began.
To paraphrase what she told me before everything just turned into one buzzing blur....
My ovarian reserves are low, and my production of FSH (Follicle-stimulating hormone) is on the high end. This is generally found in women who are or have undergone menopause. I am only 30 years old.
If I were to start trying to get pregnant right now, I would have perhaps a 30-40% chance of natural conception, and roughly a 30-35% chance of carrying a child to term, should I actually conceive. She said that these numbers can drop off pretty drastically the longer I wait.
My doctor knows how much I wanted to bear a child, and she urged me to begin hormone therapy to increase the likelyhood of my producing at least one healthy, viable egg, and to freeze it, as I don't currently have an active partner... but unfortunately while my insurance covers fertility treatments for couples who are actively trying (they cover up to 60%).... they don't cover freezing eggs for later attempts at pregnancy.
So right now my only option is to come back in in 3-6 months for a repeat of the testing, to see how rapidly my ...."timeline" is decreasing.
And yes. I know that right now, with the man I wanted to have those babies with not able to be in the picture, having children right now is not feasible anyway. And yes, I know about adoption and fostering. And I know that they are all things to consider in the future.
But right now... the concern is time. And from a biological standpoint.... I am running out of it. My biotic foot is on the metaphorical gas pedal, and is racing toward the finish line... and there's no way to know just how quickly that hourglass will deplete.
I always knew I wanted to be a mother, and... trying to accept the fact that it is not likely to ever happen is something that I am trying to come to terms with. This isn't something I expected to have to deal with at 30 years old.
I never thought I'd be out of time before it even began.