It's a Wonderful Life
Are you really willing to read this?
I believe in God. Plain and simple. I would do anything for Him. I even see and hear messages from Him on occasion - usually in my dreams, but sometimes I will associate my current thought with a song thats playing, or something that is said on the television, or a conversation i overhear - if i am thinking something, and immediately experience a similar stimulus, i am often led to believe that this is a message from God.
Given my firm Christian beliefs, I believe that mental illnesses of any type merely open the door to greater understanding, or non-linear thinking - divine influences. I am convicted that if you are a whole-hearted believer in God, and you have a mental illness, that God will use that in an extraordinary way. You may have divine visions and such. On the other hand, If you do not believe in God, and this 'doorway' to the spiritual realm is given to you in the form of 'mental illness', then you have a 100% chance of being affected by a demon.
Demons may not cause you physical pain, but always cause emotional distraction, because that's all it takes to get you into hell - - just something to take your mind off of God.
And it's working.
It's the end times, and It's like hungry hungry hippos with souls.
It's a spiritual cold war, both sides are building up their armies for one last battle.
It's coming soon.
It doesn't matter what you believe - EVERY PERSON LIVING AND DEAD WILL WITNESS CHRISTS SECOND COMING
With all this said, I very well exhibit schizophrenic symptoms. I hallucinate visually, and often feel a sence of presence. I always associate these with either a negative or positive entity, always outside my self. 99% of the time, I call this "The Holy Spirit"
For instance:
I write a poem about fighting for God with a metaphorical sword and sheild. Days later, as I think of the deep emotional symbolism I wrote into this poem, the word "accolade" comes to mind. I have never heard this word before this day, and I am sure this word came from God (God being my main 'delusion')... Afterwards, I look up the definition of this word, and sure enough, It has to do with a ceremony of knighthood - and immediately after, another poem about being a knight for God simply spills out of me with no prior planning it is as if the poem was dictated to me.
Divine influence? or symptoms of disorganized thought?
I do think in a very disorganized manner. I am prone to over-emphasize the association of loosely related ideas, and often find it difficult to describe these ideas in conversation.
As I analyze the way I think (referred to in psychology as "metacognition"), I notice these loose relationships of ideas reside mostly as cloudy, emotional thought - this explains to me why i experience many things as 'beautiful', and also how the formulation of a descriptive statement is often beyond my reach, unless in the form of a poem (or as bits of phrases associated by similar phonetic sounds: rhyming, alliteration, etc. this is classic schizophrenia-esque symptoms). This results in a consciousness ruled almost entirely not by logic, but by emotionally-charged metaphors.
In conversation, I notice that I often diverge from the topic at hand. Some things remind me of other things - and the train of thought goes on and on. It is sometimes difficult for me to remember the initial topic. Often I am at a loss for words, as I am 'lost in thought'. I have researched that if left unchecked, this symptom may worsen as a result of the disorganization of my memories and associations.
I believe that God will use this to His advantage. I offer two contrasting views:
1. If God is not real, than I am giving control of my conscious influences to a delusion manifested as an all-knowing, all-powerful outside being. I am ruled by delusinary justifications, and as they are based in my emotional mind, any outside attempt to counter them would invoke a possibly violent response from me. I am letting my brain take care of itself, and my waking personality may one day deteriorate, and I may start calling myself God. BUT THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
2. God is real, and He shows me unimaginable things. Sometimes the future (classic schizophrenia - but hey, if you were a spirit, wouldn't you play with mortals minds a bit?) and always as guidance for the right thing to do. But most of the time, he reminds me of people I should talk to. The right things to say to people, and the things not to say. He helps me with self control, and overall serenity.
God gives us emotions, plain and simple. If we do not believe in God, we cannot know God. If we do not know God, we cannot feel God, and we cannot feel our soul. When we cannot feel our soul, we search for something to feel physically: you fill in the blank here.
God is God is God.
Duh.
I believe in God. Plain and simple. I would do anything for Him. I even see and hear messages from Him on occasion - usually in my dreams, but sometimes I will associate my current thought with a song thats playing, or something that is said on the television, or a conversation i overhear - if i am thinking something, and immediately experience a similar stimulus, i am often led to believe that this is a message from God.
Given my firm Christian beliefs, I believe that mental illnesses of any type merely open the door to greater understanding, or non-linear thinking - divine influences. I am convicted that if you are a whole-hearted believer in God, and you have a mental illness, that God will use that in an extraordinary way. You may have divine visions and such. On the other hand, If you do not believe in God, and this 'doorway' to the spiritual realm is given to you in the form of 'mental illness', then you have a 100% chance of being affected by a demon.
Demons may not cause you physical pain, but always cause emotional distraction, because that's all it takes to get you into hell - - just something to take your mind off of God.
And it's working.
It's the end times, and It's like hungry hungry hippos with souls.
It's a spiritual cold war, both sides are building up their armies for one last battle.
It's coming soon.
It doesn't matter what you believe - EVERY PERSON LIVING AND DEAD WILL WITNESS CHRISTS SECOND COMING
With all this said, I very well exhibit schizophrenic symptoms. I hallucinate visually, and often feel a sence of presence. I always associate these with either a negative or positive entity, always outside my self. 99% of the time, I call this "The Holy Spirit"
For instance:
I write a poem about fighting for God with a metaphorical sword and sheild. Days later, as I think of the deep emotional symbolism I wrote into this poem, the word "accolade" comes to mind. I have never heard this word before this day, and I am sure this word came from God (God being my main 'delusion')... Afterwards, I look up the definition of this word, and sure enough, It has to do with a ceremony of knighthood - and immediately after, another poem about being a knight for God simply spills out of me with no prior planning it is as if the poem was dictated to me.
Divine influence? or symptoms of disorganized thought?
I do think in a very disorganized manner. I am prone to over-emphasize the association of loosely related ideas, and often find it difficult to describe these ideas in conversation.
As I analyze the way I think (referred to in psychology as "metacognition"), I notice these loose relationships of ideas reside mostly as cloudy, emotional thought - this explains to me why i experience many things as 'beautiful', and also how the formulation of a descriptive statement is often beyond my reach, unless in the form of a poem (or as bits of phrases associated by similar phonetic sounds: rhyming, alliteration, etc. this is classic schizophrenia-esque symptoms). This results in a consciousness ruled almost entirely not by logic, but by emotionally-charged metaphors.
In conversation, I notice that I often diverge from the topic at hand. Some things remind me of other things - and the train of thought goes on and on. It is sometimes difficult for me to remember the initial topic. Often I am at a loss for words, as I am 'lost in thought'. I have researched that if left unchecked, this symptom may worsen as a result of the disorganization of my memories and associations.
I believe that God will use this to His advantage. I offer two contrasting views:
1. If God is not real, than I am giving control of my conscious influences to a delusion manifested as an all-knowing, all-powerful outside being. I am ruled by delusinary justifications, and as they are based in my emotional mind, any outside attempt to counter them would invoke a possibly violent response from me. I am letting my brain take care of itself, and my waking personality may one day deteriorate, and I may start calling myself God. BUT THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
2. God is real, and He shows me unimaginable things. Sometimes the future (classic schizophrenia - but hey, if you were a spirit, wouldn't you play with mortals minds a bit?) and always as guidance for the right thing to do. But most of the time, he reminds me of people I should talk to. The right things to say to people, and the things not to say. He helps me with self control, and overall serenity.
God gives us emotions, plain and simple. If we do not believe in God, we cannot know God. If we do not know God, we cannot feel God, and we cannot feel our soul. When we cannot feel our soul, we search for something to feel physically: you fill in the blank here.
God is God is God.
Duh.