On My Way...
Fyi, this post will likely consist of a lot of thoughts jumbled together. I'm at work, so I can't focus completely on writing, and I'll be piecing this together over what is likely going to be a long period of time. *edit* Ended up taking two hours.
I've been down lately. Not constantly or consistently, but off and on. More than I'd like to be, in any case. There are a lot of contributing factors, many of which are out of my control, many others of which I could do something about if I just buckled down and actually did it.
First off, I'm broke. Due to various medical expenses, vet bills, helping out of friends, accidental or unaccounted for over-expenditures, etc, I'm in the hole for the first time in years. Hell, come to think of it, I'm in the hole for the first time in my life. I guess it had to happen eventually. I've got the money in savings to cover it, so it's not a huge deal, and I know I'll be back on my feet within a month or two, but I hate drawing from savings. I try not to acknowledge my savings account unless I'm adding to it, ya know?
The other thing that's been weighing me down lately... I haven't made this public knowledge yet, but three of the four dogs at mom's aren't doing so well (two due to age, and all due to various medical conditions)... and we might end up losing all three of them very soon. Two of them are very old, so I've been mentally prepping myself for some time. But one of them is the youngest, and his illness was completely unexpected. He might be the first to go. I'm still kind of in shock.
Truth be told, the "holiday season" generally leaves me feelin' kinda sour. It seems as though I've lost more pets, friends and family members around this time of year than any other. And admittedly, I have high expectations of what the holidays "should be". The other thing is, my friends and family are spaced out so much, I never get to spend the holidays with everyone I'd like to. I'm not good at choosing which friends or what part of my family to spend the holidays with. And I know at least that aspect is never gonna change, so I've just gotta get used to it.
My life has changed a lot over the past few months, some possibly for the worse, and others seemingly for the better. Unfortunately, I seem to spend more time dwelling on the bad instead of welcoming the good. I guess you could call it a bad habit of mine.
Really, I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm incredibly lucky to have as many awesome friends as I do, new and old. I might not see many of them that often, but there are so many people that are there for me when I need them to be. I know that I'm loved, and I know that there are at least a couple of people who would do just about anything for me. You know who you are. Also know that I'll be there for you too, whenever I can.
I'm in good health, although I've got a ways to go before I'm truly happy with myself, both physically and mentally.
I've got my own room in a nice and conveniently located apartment in a decent neighborhood. I live with dad, which isn't so bad, and rent is a lot cheaper than it would be anywhere else.
All of my pets at home are doing well. Newman's aging gracefully, Renny's growing into an awesome cat, the turtles and snake seem content (as much as one can tell with reptiles), the fish are happily breeding, and all three hermit crabs have successfully molted and are now out and about every night.
Aside from the dogs, the other animals at mom's (all of the cats and horses) are doing well.
Even though I'm broke, I've got everything that I need to survive, and even to live comfortably in most aspects. I've got tickets to go see one of my favorite bands with my best friend tomorrow (glad I purchased them when I did!) and I'm very much looking forward to that.
I've been getting more involved in doing things that I really enjoy or believe in. I have new found friends and "families", espeicially in House Leviathan and hopefully Wolf Thunder.
Part of me feels sorry for having been rather selfish lately. Part of me realizes that I have every right to be selfish from time to time. I'm still working on finding the perfect balance of being there for others while taking care of myself. I really haven't been putting as much as I should be into either.
So, I've got a lot to accomplish, but I'm not nearly as bad off as it sometimes seems. The New Year starts at midnight. So long 2008. I'm gonna try like hell to take this chance, put my past behind me, and look ahead to a brighter and more fulfilling future. Hello 2009.
Anyway... now for the actual reason for this post! This song has been stuck in my head all morning, and it seemed to be very appropriate for New Years Eve.
***
Phil Collins - On My Way (Brother Bear Soundtrack)
Tell everybody I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead yes
I'm on my way
And there's nowhere else that I'd rather be
Tell everybody I'm on my way
And I'm loving every step I take
With the sun beating down yes
I'm on my way
And I can't keep this smile off my face
'Cause there's nothing like seeing each other again
No matter what the distance between
And the stories that we tell will make you smile
Oh it really lifts my heart
So tell 'em all I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
And to sleep under the stars
Who could ask for more
With the moon keeping watch over me
Not the snow, not the rain
Can change my mind
The sun will come out, wait and see
And the feeling of the wind in your face
Can lift your heart
Oh there's nowhere I would rather be
'Cause I'm on my way now-
well and truly
I'm on my way now
(I'm on my way now)
REPEAT
Tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be there
With blue skies ahead yes
I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to share
So tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be home
With the sun beating down yes
I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to show
I'm on my way
Yes, I'm on my way.
I've been down lately. Not constantly or consistently, but off and on. More than I'd like to be, in any case. There are a lot of contributing factors, many of which are out of my control, many others of which I could do something about if I just buckled down and actually did it.
First off, I'm broke. Due to various medical expenses, vet bills, helping out of friends, accidental or unaccounted for over-expenditures, etc, I'm in the hole for the first time in years. Hell, come to think of it, I'm in the hole for the first time in my life. I guess it had to happen eventually. I've got the money in savings to cover it, so it's not a huge deal, and I know I'll be back on my feet within a month or two, but I hate drawing from savings. I try not to acknowledge my savings account unless I'm adding to it, ya know?
The other thing that's been weighing me down lately... I haven't made this public knowledge yet, but three of the four dogs at mom's aren't doing so well (two due to age, and all due to various medical conditions)... and we might end up losing all three of them very soon. Two of them are very old, so I've been mentally prepping myself for some time. But one of them is the youngest, and his illness was completely unexpected. He might be the first to go. I'm still kind of in shock.
Truth be told, the "holiday season" generally leaves me feelin' kinda sour. It seems as though I've lost more pets, friends and family members around this time of year than any other. And admittedly, I have high expectations of what the holidays "should be". The other thing is, my friends and family are spaced out so much, I never get to spend the holidays with everyone I'd like to. I'm not good at choosing which friends or what part of my family to spend the holidays with. And I know at least that aspect is never gonna change, so I've just gotta get used to it.
My life has changed a lot over the past few months, some possibly for the worse, and others seemingly for the better. Unfortunately, I seem to spend more time dwelling on the bad instead of welcoming the good. I guess you could call it a bad habit of mine.
Really, I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm incredibly lucky to have as many awesome friends as I do, new and old. I might not see many of them that often, but there are so many people that are there for me when I need them to be. I know that I'm loved, and I know that there are at least a couple of people who would do just about anything for me. You know who you are. Also know that I'll be there for you too, whenever I can.
I'm in good health, although I've got a ways to go before I'm truly happy with myself, both physically and mentally.
I've got my own room in a nice and conveniently located apartment in a decent neighborhood. I live with dad, which isn't so bad, and rent is a lot cheaper than it would be anywhere else.
All of my pets at home are doing well. Newman's aging gracefully, Renny's growing into an awesome cat, the turtles and snake seem content (as much as one can tell with reptiles), the fish are happily breeding, and all three hermit crabs have successfully molted and are now out and about every night.
Aside from the dogs, the other animals at mom's (all of the cats and horses) are doing well.
Even though I'm broke, I've got everything that I need to survive, and even to live comfortably in most aspects. I've got tickets to go see one of my favorite bands with my best friend tomorrow (glad I purchased them when I did!) and I'm very much looking forward to that.
I've been getting more involved in doing things that I really enjoy or believe in. I have new found friends and "families", espeicially in House Leviathan and hopefully Wolf Thunder.
Part of me feels sorry for having been rather selfish lately. Part of me realizes that I have every right to be selfish from time to time. I'm still working on finding the perfect balance of being there for others while taking care of myself. I really haven't been putting as much as I should be into either.
So, I've got a lot to accomplish, but I'm not nearly as bad off as it sometimes seems. The New Year starts at midnight. So long 2008. I'm gonna try like hell to take this chance, put my past behind me, and look ahead to a brighter and more fulfilling future. Hello 2009.
Anyway... now for the actual reason for this post! This song has been stuck in my head all morning, and it seemed to be very appropriate for New Years Eve.
***
Phil Collins - On My Way (Brother Bear Soundtrack)
Tell everybody I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead yes
I'm on my way
And there's nowhere else that I'd rather be
Tell everybody I'm on my way
And I'm loving every step I take
With the sun beating down yes
I'm on my way
And I can't keep this smile off my face
'Cause there's nothing like seeing each other again
No matter what the distance between
And the stories that we tell will make you smile
Oh it really lifts my heart
So tell 'em all I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
And to sleep under the stars
Who could ask for more
With the moon keeping watch over me
Not the snow, not the rain
Can change my mind
The sun will come out, wait and see
And the feeling of the wind in your face
Can lift your heart
Oh there's nowhere I would rather be
'Cause I'm on my way now-
well and truly
I'm on my way now
(I'm on my way now)
REPEAT
Tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be there
With blue skies ahead yes
I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to share
So tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be home
With the sun beating down yes
I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to show
I'm on my way
Yes, I'm on my way.