I am so sorry, your post made me want to cry. You two must have been so close but I am glad that you have grown as a person because of it. My cousin Rachel died last october and I just wanted to die as well. The doctors are still unsure how she died but that it might have had something to do with pills mixing with alcohol. She was only 20 years old and every now and then I have crying fits where I yell "it isn't fair" and the likes. I also know she is in a better place but sometimes I just don't understand you know what I mean? She didn't have a real chance to live! Well I cannot think of a song but there was this poem I read once about loosing someone before you were ready and wishing you had asked them certain things before they left. That poem makes me think of her a whole lot because we were so close and there were so many things I held back from asking her, but now it's too late I can't go back and do it again. There's so much regret and pain but when I push it away it's gone for a while then it comes back full blast. It has
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I lost one of my best friends, Rachel, when I was 14. She was slightly to blame, but not entirely. She got in a car with some yaboo idiot who had been drinking. The kicker? The guy was already on probation for DUI. He somehow flipped the SUV they were in on a straightaway not far from my house in the wee hours of morning. He and his equally drunk and old enough to know better friend sustained no more than a few broken bones. Laci had severe head injuries and to this day doesn't remember everything and Rachel, she was thrown from the car and her arm got stuck on the way out; she bled to death at the scene. I find myself driving by where she died often on my way home, somehow it makes me feel closer to her. I hear that lame Puff Daddy song "I'll Be Missing You" and just die a bit (it was popular at the time) because she and I used to raise some serious hell together. I remember hearing it on the radio the day of her funeral, on the way to the cemetary, and I couldn't stop crying. I can even hear the song and picture the plume
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The best thing to do is remember that they are always watching over you, even when you don't realize it. Sometimes, they'll go as far as letting you feel them. They just don't want you to hurt. That's why Jerard can't always feel his mother, but I can, and he can feel Ms. Louise, but I can't.
no thanks needed, it was on my mind actually. I had found a wealth of old pictures the other day when I was looking for my diploma. I was brooding over it as it was, you just gave me an excuse to vent it. :)
I would have to say Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera makes me think of my late Uncle. Because he requested I play my flute for him at his funeral and that's what I played.
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