Comments | daisy23: Is it me?

daisy23

Is it me?

May 15, 2013 09:22

Is it just me, or does it feel like trying to make friends in your 30's is like dating again. You throw out some feelers, and you come back with a lot of rejection. Usually in the form of crickets. Or just plain silence. Yeah, let's go with silence.

For example, at Rachael's kindergarten orientation, there were a couple moms that I seemed to hit it ( Read more... )

via ljapp

Comments 9

yellowitchgrl May 15 2013, 17:59:48 UTC

I've felt like that a lot. I made a group of friends a few years ago but I don't have anyone I can just call up and say "hey, let's go shopping" either. The one friend I had like that who lived close moved to CA. Then I got another friend and she moved to AZ. But they're both younger, so maybe more willing to make friends.

We need a dating service (seriously)

daisy23 May 15 2013, 18:46:28 UTC

Ha! The entrepreneurial spirit in me says we should start a friendship "dating" service. It could be like speed dating, only for making friends.

yellowitchgrl May 15 2013, 18:52:18 UTC

It's a good idea. We should go on Shark Tank (which I only heard about because of visiting the IL's and them watching it) for start up capital.

I think for a few people it's easy to make friends at any life stage (my dad is one of them, and I imagine Luke will be too) but for the rest of us it's like pulling teeth

daisy23 May 15 2013, 22:40:17 UTC

So, this exists. https://www.socialjane.com/

Thread 5

earthymama42 May 16 2013, 17:19:00 UTC

You are in a weird in between time. I bet either towards the end of the summer you'll start getting together with people. And even if you don't it will probably start coming together after she starts kindergarten. I've made a lot more friends this year than in the 3 years since moved here.

I've made friends by babysitting other people's kids whose kids are school age. It's a whole new ball game once Rachael starts kindergarten. But it's hard to make friends because of staying home. I've made friends at the gym (sort of...so far those are pretty superficial friendships), but I have made friends with the people I work with at the gym most frequently. Also now that Benjamin has been in elementary school most of the teachers know me or see me often and we can at least converse even though we aren't friends, if I would see any of them in the grocery store we would stop and chat for a few.

My friends are not my age for the most part, my best friend up here is 45, but our kids are in the same grade and she lives a few houses away. Our ( ... )

daisy23 May 17 2013, 11:44:33 UTC

Hahaha, that's awesome. "Play, dammit! Mommies need our time."

I'll relax and wait. I haven't tried to be desperate, just trying to put myself out there more than I used to. (And, unlike college, I'm not being slutty. ;-) I've tried holding off and making connections with people who seemed like they fit.) Rachael's school is setting up summer playgroups. Honestly, I want to give her kids to play with this summer, but it could be a good opportunity for casual adult time.

One of the moms from Rachael's preschool class, (the one I expected to respond) emailed me back yesterday. I'm letting all the others go. It's not worth the energy. It does make me sad for one of them, though. The other girl in Rachael's class and Rachael get along really well. And I think right after I posted this original post, we got an Evite to a birthday party for the twins in Rachael's class.

Aaaaaaand, I'm rambling again. (Seriously, how did you not smack me in college?) Thanks for the advice. It is nice to hear from friends who have already been through it ( ... )

earthymama42 May 19 2013, 12:24:40 UTC

If you can find a decent park that doesn't have creepers she can play with kids there too. But I know it's hard with Zoë's age at the bigger playgrounds because she needs so much help and Rachel too.

daisy23 May 19 2013, 13:19:25 UTC

Rachael does a pretty good job handling herself, but Zoë does need that extra supervision. I don't trust her not to take a flying leap. :-P
I think the park idea is a good one. It won't be easy. Most of the parks and playgrounds I drive by are complete ghost towns. I'm surprised not to see tumbleweeds roll by. Maybe because the kids around here are so over scheduled.
I actually read an article on how to make friends, just for funsies. It suggested getting a dog because dog owners tend to speak to each other a lot. We won't be getting a dog any time soon. Maybe I can teach the girls to sniff other kid's butts. That's the same. Right?