breaking up with the internet, one social media site at a time

Jun 02, 2013 14:06

the infrequent and shortlived birdsong of dana d:
grad student, layabout, and ne'er-do-well; defender of the oxford comma; enjoys taking tea.


13-07-12: help me, i am in hell. #breeders pic.twitter.com/Z5eWAHJZ

12-07-12: too hot for knickers and drinking indoors. i'll consent to one and remedy the other. #beerisland

29-06-12: killin' zombies with captainrocket and jdurynek #walkingdead #boardgames #nerds pic.twitter.com/YoLeivZv

24-06-12: veggie dog topped with kraft singles, bbq sauce, sriracha, mustard, potato chips, and fake cheese sauce. #whitetrashvegetarian

24-06-12: calgary mission complete! #tubbydog #sledisland pic.twitter.com/xMa1FX0C

24-06-12: #andrewwk party about to be shut down due to "a few too may cut faces." he hasn't even played "party hard" yet! #no1legion #sledisland

24-06-12: dancing(?) to post-ironic technotronic. the future is bleak, and hot pink leopard print #no1legion #sledisland

22-06-12: hangin' with my homegirls #famousfive #yyc pic.twitter.com/Q990cXKw

22-06-12: having breakfast with my people: people for whom noon is morning and tall cans of PBR are food. #brokencity #sledisland

21-06-12: drinking free scotch in a junkyard while BA johnston serves hotdogs. what? #sledisland

20-06-12: wrist-banded in cowtown with thai tai in hand. happy sledding! #yyc #sledisland #vietsub

07-06-12: day 2: haircut, pizza, and the raid, aka #faceshoot. day 3: tech upgrades and #padmanadi!

06-06-12: dissertation liberation, day 1: shoes, tacos, snickerdoodles, white russians, batman. #sweetsweetfreedom

04-06-12: 100th tweet is dedicated to post-dissertation-revision-completion insomnia. i can has sleep now plz? #doctoralstudentproblems

11-05-12: contrary to popular belief, demolition man's greatest gift to the future is not 3 seashells but that all restaurants are taco bell. #7layers

29-04-12: unable to differentiate between working hard and hardly working but certain this introduction isn't writing itself. #doctoralstudentproblems

27-04-12: snoop is a lady?!? #thewire #wtf

23-04-12: overheard in edmonton: "the NDP are basically national socialists." #wildrosecountry

22-04-12: hey kids in neon hats and flourescent windbreakers: it's not a '90s party if no one is wearing docs. also: fuck you. #getoffmylawn

20-04-12: i p0wn at drunk shuffleboard. #pilsnertallboys

20-04-12: the entire city smells like my highschool boyfriend's hotboxed basement. #vancouver #420 #ewww

19-04-12: it occurs to me that in order to maintain work/life balance, one requires both a job and a life. i have neither. #doctoralstudentproblems

18-04-12: there's a special hell reserved for university website designers, next to the one for people who affix labels directly to paper products.

15-04-12: miss_crsy remember when we saw #radiohead at #coachella in, like, 2004? yeah, me too. #hipstersunited #weareold

14-04-12: the sparrows are flying again.

11-04-12: a professor once asked me: "do you really need all those semi-colons?" i am addicted to interdependent clauses. #doctoralstudentproblems

09-04-12: avoided #instagram as iProduct until last week, when it went #android. now #facebook owns it, so i feel justified in continuing to avoid it.

09-04-12: i admire the nihilism of the panda bear. it's hard not to respect an animal that won't fuck to save its species. #bambooisbetterthanbabies

08-04-12: my little brother's uncanny resemblance to #sidneycrosby makes me uncomfortable. hockey news looks too much like a family photo album. #nhl

07-04-12: saturday. long weekend. perfect blue skies. everything's coming up daffodils and i am inside dissertating. #doctoralstudentproblems #fml

01-04-12: henceforth, april 1st shall be known as ukrainian st patrick's day. #aprilfools #holidayhell

01-04-12: slept 'til noon on purpose. st patrick may be the patron saint of fratboys and douchebags, but april 1st is their ressurection. #stayindoors

27-03-12: i wish venus, the morning star, the evening star, and satan were still the same thing. #ptolemaicnostalgia

25-03-12: revision is easier than writing. it's transmutation instead of conjuration: less blood from stone. #doctoralstudentproblems #saturdaynight

19-03-12: thank you, old chinese dude at the market singing "like a prayer," for making today awesome. #commercialdrive

16-03-12: it's raining, it's pouring, 4am is boring. #sleepisfortheweak

14-03-12: does anyone have some time i could borrow? i need about two weeks. i'll totally pay you back in, like, august. #dissertation #deadline

07-03-12: nothing like riding the bus in suburbia to rouse one's latent classism. #proletariatchariot #mustwashhands

06-03-12: painted toenails and think-o tea do not a dissertation write. #isthereanappforthat?

26-02-12: jbanal really? #crackereaters pic.twitter.com/0t5iBzEa

21-02-12: if home is where my books are, i guess i'm about to live in a storage locker. #gradschool #paripateticism #fml

14-02-12: ruffles tapatìo limòn potato chips. #america #fuckyeah pic.twitter.com/7IdAYhET

14-02-12: captainrocket and i observe VD with horror films, beer, and shitty take-out. #cheapdate #truelove

06-02-12: my kingdom for another kingdom - one without any dust. #cough #wheeze

04-02-12: i need a word that connotes romantically rapey rather than malevolently rapey. prurient? #shiteighteenthcenturyistssay

31-01-12: sometimes my footnotes require footnotes. #doctoralstudentproblems

31-01-12: out-anxietied the ativan again. #milestogobeforeisleep

26-01-12: sometimes when i'm lying in bed and on the verge of sleep, i can hear the distand sound of a dial-up modem. #ghostofcomputerspast

14-01-12: i am forever sacrificing clarity for pretty turns of phrase. #doctoralstudentproblems

12-01-12: there seems little point in dissertation revisions when the world is hellbent on handbasketry. #gradschool is a #firstworldproblem

11-01-12: mac's has a DIY blizzard/mcflurrie machine. #thefutureisnow

05-01-12: i judge bars based on the spelling and grammar of the washroom graffiti. #drinkingwiththeilliterati

01-01-12: woke up in desperate need of grapefruit juice but the fridge only yielded booze. any other day of the year this would be awesome #irony #nyd

31-12-11: jbanal *broke* my bottle opener, and was thus forced to open his beer with a hammer. #itbetterbehishammer

23-12-11: everyone is extra surly this holiday season. what happened to eat, drink, and be merry? #notenoughrumintheeggnog

17-12-11: having no reason to get up in the morning leaves one with no reason to go to bed either. #4am #procrastination #gradschool

16-12-11: #frenchbreakfast tea is far sweeter and lingers longer on the palate than the english version. lazy motherfucker.

01-12-11: the best thing about the holiday season is that you can drink in the morning with impunity. #december1 #earlgrey #whiskey

29-11-11: some people clip coupons. i cut out pictures of book covers from publishing catalogues. #nerd

28-11-11: chrisnotyoung sleep is for the weak, the old, the sick, and the lame. we are the 1%. we are legion. #weonlycomeoutatnight

21-11-11: #whatwomenwant is not to be categorically misrepresented as a group distinct from the wants, needs, and opportunities of everyone else.

18-11-11: i haven't seen this much pubescent facial hair since junior high. #movember #goodcause #ewww

16-11-11: having no reason to get out of bed in the morning straddles a fine line between decadent and pathetic. #gradschool #underemployment #FML

05-11-11: #guyfawkes tried to blow up parliament to help reinstate a catholic monarch, not to liberate the people from oppressive tyranny. #justsayin

01-11-11: i love the smell of cordite in the morning. #november1

01-11-11: i'm occupying hallowe'en. #wearetheonepercent

28-10-11: I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone on the internet that Hallowe'en has an apostrophe. #kthnxbye #GrammarNazi

26-20-11: my kingdom for half-inch purple sticky tabs. also willing to exchange goods and/or services. my sanity demands them. #gradschool #OCD

24-10-11: there's nothing i don't like about eating grapefruit campari gelato for lunch outside at the end of october #theseareafewofmyfavouritethings

17-10-11: drinking "morning after" tea at 5pm suggests i probably shouldn't drink in the afternoon. yesterday. #FML #epichangover #toooldforthisshit

15-10-11: i will be occupying my desk until further notice. #gradschool

06-10-11: attn barely-legals in neon lyotards and glowsticks: it looks as stupid now as it did then. #1996 #toooldforthisshit

03-10-11: i'd like to wish my brain wasn't wired this way. but really, i just wish other people's brains were wired like mine. #OCD #hatersgonnahate

01-10-11: i wish the misfits from jem were responsible for "last caress" #ikilledyourbabytoday

01-10-11: october rusts #typeonegative

30-09-11: hurricane ophelia is a deliciously disastrous monicker. #bitchesbecrazy

30-09-11: it's a proud day in my city <3 #Insite

29-09-11: i just caught the elusive 20 bus. #furthur

28-09-11: i'm in love with post-apocalyptic windmills. especially the one atop grouse mountain. #thingsthatareawesome

23-09-11: my gas stove/oven is making lighting sounds even though everything is turned off. dear oven: i am not sylvia plath. #scaredformylife

22-09-11: will not let the little fuckers generation gap her. hello twitter.
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