99.012 - More expositions on Codependency.
There was one major narcissist/self-deluded/wow-that-was-bad type, a former roommate of mine, but I tried to kick him out (but I was trapped into my situation by a very horrible South Carolina).
That said, I have some more new thoughts on codependency from this morning (I stress that as a recovering codependent, this is important for me):
I need to stop feeling sorry for codependents, because they're part of the problem as enabling narcissists to do their pathological work. The worst abusers in my lifetime, therefore, haven't been the narcissists, but rather the codependents who shut me down for speaking against the narcissists' paradigms. It's not that narcissism isn't an incredibly horrible problem in my life, but the agency of codependents and the dehumanization that they encourage are pretty relevant. Abusers really are just teams of operatives, anyway, given the schematic of the social framework, and justifying their false "moral superiority" builds false solidarity by spitting upon the one they abuse. It boosts low self-esteem by demeaning someone who has even less self-esteem than they do.
These patterns have been going on for eight years, and it explains why only people who are married or serial monogamists tend to flock towards me: it's a convenient framework for codependents. What codependents see in me is strength and self-reliance; what they don't see is all the damage from those who cannot stand to have any framework than their own.
That said, I have some more new thoughts on codependency from this morning (I stress that as a recovering codependent, this is important for me):
I need to stop feeling sorry for codependents, because they're part of the problem as enabling narcissists to do their pathological work. The worst abusers in my lifetime, therefore, haven't been the narcissists, but rather the codependents who shut me down for speaking against the narcissists' paradigms. It's not that narcissism isn't an incredibly horrible problem in my life, but the agency of codependents and the dehumanization that they encourage are pretty relevant. Abusers really are just teams of operatives, anyway, given the schematic of the social framework, and justifying their false "moral superiority" builds false solidarity by spitting upon the one they abuse. It boosts low self-esteem by demeaning someone who has even less self-esteem than they do.
These patterns have been going on for eight years, and it explains why only people who are married or serial monogamists tend to flock towards me: it's a convenient framework for codependents. What codependents see in me is strength and self-reliance; what they don't see is all the damage from those who cannot stand to have any framework than their own.