Cold Fusion: Hallows' Eve, Ch. 5

[dal_niente]

Chapter 5

When Roxanne gets back to the Lair, she has her coat unbuttoned and her gloves off before she walks in the door and one of the brainbots takes her things and disappears with them. At this point, that's routine, but the first time she wore a coat to the Lair and was accosted by a helpful brainbot, she had nearly had a heart attack. She had still been thinking of them as fairly aloof little creatures - she hadn't realized the extent to which the brainbots help Megamind with his work. She tried to pull away from it, and it called for help from some of the other nearby bots, and after beating at them ineffectually with her umbrella she had finally given up fighting and yelled for Megamind. She can only imagine what she must have looked like, backing towards the door with her teeth bared, holding a full flight of brainbots at bay with an umbrella and a piece of rebar that had been leaning up against the wall.

"What are they doing?" she had demanded as soon as Megamind had come skidding into view, his panicked expression switching to confusion and then amusement in the space of a couple seconds when he had realized what was going on.

"They just want to take your coat for you," he had called.

Roxanne had frozen where she was, staring at him, and two of the bots had taken advantage of her surprise and flown over, one holding her collar while the other quickly unbuttoned her. And before she had been able to say anything, her coat was gone. "Wha…"

Megamind had been laughing openly at her by then. "They're not going to hurt you," he had said, between gasps. "My bots would never hurt you."

"I know, I just - what now?" Roxanne had cried, jerking her hands away.

"Your gloves! Give them your gloves!"

Yes, the brainbots had taken some getting used to - more than Roxanne had expected. But now she almost doesn't even think of them, she just unbuttons her coat and takes off her gloves on autopilot before she enters the Lair.

"Minion?" she calls, looking around.

"In here, Miss Ritchi!"

Roxanne follows his voice to the room across from Megamind's, reaches the doorway, and halts, feeling a little bit nervous - it's silly, given how much of her time she spends at the Lair these days, but she hasn't gone into Minion's room before. The door has always been closed. It's open now, though, and Minion is seated on the floor with a tape measure in one hand and a sewing machine on a low table in front of him.

"Hullo," Roxanne says, trying not to stare around, and Minion looks up, grinning.

"Oh, don't stand in the doorway," he says, motioning at her with the tape measure. "Come in! Where's Sir?"

"He, um." Roxanne shakes her head a little, trying to focus, but Minion's room is so far from what she had expected that she can't help but be a little distracted. "There was a…there was a thing."

She can't call it a bedroom, because she can't see a bed or what possible use Minion would have for one, but the room is comfortable and manages to be cozy despite its size - probably due to the lighting. If any of the lightbulbs are more than 40 watts, Roxanne will eat her hat. And since most of the light fixtures are old-fashioned lamps with beige-ish brownish shades, the room is pretty dimly-lit. Roxanne can't actually make out the far wall; it's too dark. But the near walls are covered, floor to ceiling and wall to wall, with shelving units filled with bolts of cloth in a wider variety of fabrics and colors than Roxanne had been aware even existed. The left wall seems devoted entirely to rolls of leather.

And the dress forms. They're everywhere, scattered all over the room without rhyme or reason and interspersed with three-legged stools of varying heights and making the whole area look a lot smaller. And they're all homemade, since most of Megamind's clothes fit him like a second skin and his body shape isn't close enough to that of a human to allow Minion to use pre-made forms, but they certainly aren't made of chicken wire or bent coat hangers. They look professional - really professional, molded and probably full of…sawdust or something, Roxanne isn't sure what, but she wouldn't be surprised. Most of them are wearing various works in progress.

It looks like Roxanne's mental image of an old-timey tailor's back room. An old-timey supervillain tailor, which is kind of a weird thought because for some reason the mental image looks steampunk - and as unconventionally futuristic as Megamind's appliances tend to be, none of them run on steam. Except for the kettle, but he didn't invent that and anyway it doesn't run on steam as much as it just exploits several laws of thermodynamics.

She drags her attention back to Minion, who's just sitting there grinning at her, and she thinks maybe he looks a little bit smug. And not in the least bit steampunk. She clears her throat and waves a hand around at the shelves. "I like your…Room? Workshop? What do you call this?"

Minion laughs. "It's my room. I cleaned it up earlier today; it was an absolute wreck before. What sort of a thing?"

Roxanne has to take a moment to remember what he's talking about. The sight of Minion's room has totally de-railed any and all trains of thought she'd had going when she had walked in. "Oh! Yes, there was a kidnapping. Megamind stayed to help with the investigation. I was going to go back and see if Bernard needed any help, but he wasn't…home…" She trails off, craning her head around to look at the mess of multicolored rags in Minion's sewing machine. "What are you working on?"

Minion ignores the second part in favor of looking baffled about the first. "Bernard?"

Roxanne forces herself to focus. It isn't easy. "Sorry, I'm all over the place today," she apologizes. "Yeah, we met up with him while we were walking - it was a complete coincidence, you won't believe what happened." Quickly, she tells him about Bernard's strange behavior, Megamind's promises, and Bernard's decision to relocate.

Minion's eyes nearly bug out of his head.

"Wyoming?" he repeats, incredulous. "What on earth does he want in Wyoming?"

Roxanne shrugs. "He wouldn't say."

Minion frowns and shakes his head. "I smell something fishy, and I don't think it's me."

"Maybe he has family there," Roxanne suggests. "It could be for any number of reasons. It really wasn't our business. We…"

She stops, frowning now herself. There's something happening just outside her range of hearing, some sound, some shift in pitch. A quick glance at Minion tells her that he hears it, too, but that doesn't do much for Roxanne's confidence. Minion looks horrified.

He shoves away the tray with the sewing machine on it and scrambles to his feet, whirring and clanking as his massive robotic body bends, pushes, and lifts. He's hurrying out the door almost before he's completely off the ground, and Roxanne is right behind him, dashing down hallways at what feels an awful lot like random.

"What is it?" she exclaims, just as Minion hooks a hand on a doorjamb and uses it as a pivot, swings himself into a side room with a crash. The room is tiny, hardly bigger than a closet, and there's a mop and a bucket and a shelf of cleaning supplies. "Minion?"

"Stand back."

Standing just inside the door, the fish reaches forward and flips up a panel on the rear wall and punches in a numeric code, and a large portion of the closet floor shunts down and slides out of the way. The cleaning supplies clatter down the brightly lit set of metal stairs that had been hidden by the secret door.

Minion starts forward, but Roxanne puts a hand on his shoulder. "What's going on? What's that noise?"

Minion looks over at her. "If it's what I think is," he says, "Sir may be in trouble. Come on, I'll explain on the way." He sets off down the stairs. After a moment, Roxanne follows.

"Have you ever wondered why Sir and I moved out of the prison?" Minion asks. The hallway at the bottom of the stairs is narrow and extends straight ahead; there are no doors, no turns. The walls, floor, and ceiling are bright white, and Roxanne almost wishes she had sunglasses. The sight of it is almost eerie - white, straight hallways do not belong in Megamind's dark, labyrinthine Lair.

Minion is still talking. "It was our home, you know. Not much of a home, but it was the only one we had ever had. The warden initially tried to place us in foster care, but Sir wouldn't have it. And after Sir returned from Washington, the warden stopped fighting and let us stay. I think Sir still views the prison as home, really. He can actually relax there." Minion's footsteps and voice echo down the hall. "He was always very…protective of me. He didn't want anyone to know I could think or talk. The only people who knew were people he thought we could trust - the warden, and some of the inmates."

Minion turns to face Roxanne, pressing the button on the front of his suit that will call Megamind's watch. "One of them broke that trust after he was released. This was just before Sir graduated from high school. The man's name was Paul, and he went straight to the PHED, told them all about me. They came while Sir was in school, and they took me away with them."

Roxanne's eyes go very wide. "Did they…"

"They were very nice about the whole thing, actually," Minion admits. "Very civilized. The man leading the retrieval team said that he wasn't really allowed to offer Earth citizenship to outworlders without conducting certain physical and mental examinations first. But he added that the department tended to make exceptions for outworlders with family members - or a cultural equivalent - who were already citizens of Earth. He hinted that I probably qualified."

Roxanne smiles, a little uncertainly. "So…he let you go?"

"Well, no." Minion smiles a little in response and starts walking again, but his eyes are worried. "I had to write and submit an official report regarding the nature of our connection. My representative said it would take a while to go through, because the department was reluctant to contact Sir for a reference. Something in the bureaucracy. I don't know. It dragged along for a few weeks - I couldn't leave, but they weren't allowed to do anything either - and none of us really knew how long it was going to take. I think they were hoping I'd just give up. But then Sir made his move, and it was sort of a moot point after that." He reaches the end of the hallway, and pushes open a white door. It leads onto a sort of balcony.

Carefully, Roxanne steps around him and looks out into a vast, spheroid cavern, the walls of which are covered in a honeycomb of hexagonal recesses. Most of the nooks are empty and dark, but a section near the bottom left is glowing blue, and a thin line of small, bullet-shaped machines are gliding silently up to the roof of the cavern from the lit section and disappearing out a tiny round hatch. Roxanne can see stars in the sky beyond, and realizes that she's probably looking at an open manhole.

The machines are sleek, silent, and made of some non-reflective black metal, and they fly steadily, as if on an invisible track. Are they brainbots? They're the right size and more or less the right shape, but they're too dark, and Roxanne can't make out any robotic arms.

"What are those?" she asks. There's something not right about them, something she doesn't like. All of the brainbots she's seen before have been unique in some way - different spikes or scraps of metal welded on like tail fins or mohawks or spoilers. But these…these are all the same, as far as Roxanne can see.

Minion looks unhappy. "A-12 brainbots," he says. "We had been making brainbots for a while, and we had started setting up the Lair, but we hadn't…we didn't live here. It was our hideout, it wasn't home. The brainbots maintained it while we were away. I've always liked them. They're quirky. We'd invent new ones when we were bored, for fun. But the A-12s are…well, they aren't evil, but they're the ones that started his reputation as a supervillain and not just a troublemaker. They got people's attention." Minion makes a frustrated sound and wrings his hands a little. "Sir's war with Scott had started to turn into something like a game, and his brainbots would help him out and Scott would manage to work around them, but the A-12s…" He pauses as the last of the brainbots trails up and out. "At least he didn't call all of them," he mutters, and then goes back to what he had been saying before Roxanne can ask. "He didn't put them up against Scott. He aimed them at the government - scare tactics. And itworked. I'd really rather not go into details, but we've never had to use them since then."

Roxanne bites her lip. "So…if he's calling them out now…"

"He's preparing for trouble. A lot of trouble." Minion touches the button on his suit again. "And he isn't answering his watch. I don't like it."

Roxanne takes out her phone. Mn wnts 2no whats hapNg. Ur nt answerin yr watch. Shd i b worried?

"I'm sure he'll be all right," she tells Minion, but he shakes his head.

"If all he needed was a bunch of battle-ready brainbots, he could have summoned the B-9s. This is bad. He's in trouble."

Roxanne checks her phone. "He says they found Max and they're going to go get him."

Minion grits his teeth. "Ask him why he needs the A-12s."

A long moment passes.

"He just says he'll be fine," Roxanne murmurs, typing a quick reply. She's starting to worry, too, but she tries to remind herself that Megamind is a professional and knows what he's doing. Besides, if he built the A-12s without Minion's help, there could be something about the run that Minion doesn't know about, something that makes the A-12s preferable to the B-9s.

When Megamind speaks into the chamber, Roxanne jumps.

"Minion? Are you there?"

Minion hesitates, glancing at Roxanne. He can tell that she's concerned, and he feels bad; he hadn't meant to make her worry, but he's not very good at hiding his emotions. "Sir, do you think this is going to turn into a combat situation?"

"Minion, Code: There are three other people in the car with me." Megamind sounds disgruntled. He also sounds like nothing is wrong. "Could you try to be a little more delicate?"

Minion has to smile at that, despite the fact that his spines are tingling uncomfortably the way they always do when he's nervous. "Code: Sorry, Sir."

There's a brief pause before Megamind's voice crackles through again. "You know I'll do everything I can to keep this from escalating."

"Should I come and help?"

It's amazing. Minion has just said that he thinks his boss might be going into some kind of terrible danger, and most people wouldn't offer to help with something like that - many of those who would, wouldn't be sincere about it. But Minion actually sounds eager.

The silence that follows his offer drags on, though, and Roxanne already knows what Megamind is going to say. Minion's face falls.

"No. No, Minion. You shouldn't. You should stay home and take care of things. Stand by in case I call for you."

Minion shuts his eyes. "Please be careful."

"If it helps, Lancaster will be there," Megamind offers, "And I have three cops with me."

Minion's eyes fly open again, his astonished gaze darting around the room. "You what? Who? Which ones?" Megamind is laughing - it's staticky and tinny, but it's a genuine laugh and Roxanne feels a little better.

"Jones and Velasquez. You don't know Bradley. He's new."

Roxanne doesn't recognize any of the names, but if the look on Minion's face is anything to go on, he definitely knows who Megamind is talking about. "Hi, Officer Jones! Hi, Officer Velasquez!"

"Hello, Minion." The voice is masculine and sounds like it's coming from a long way off. Another voice calls Minion something Roxanne can't quite make out, and asks him how he's doing.

Minion looks a bit more like his normal, cheerful self. "Welcome, Officer Bradley. Life is good, Officer Velasquez, thank you!"

"You see, Minion?" Megamind says. "I'm perfectly safe."

Minion turns and begins to walk slowly back up the corridor. Roxanne goes along after him, glancing back over her shoulder at the huge chamber of brainbots.

"You are never safe," Minion says, grinning.

Roxanne speaks up. "Minion, ask about the A-12s."

Minion catches her eye, nods. He keeps his tone mildly inquisitive, as if he's only curious, and they hear Megamind sigh heavily.

"One of Lancaster's boys went to do a pick-up in the DZ where we're headed. He was shot three times in the chest before he could get close to the place."

"But there aren't any pick-ups scheduled for today, Sir," Minion says. If the schedule had changed, someone would have had to notify Lancaster's man - but it must have been a last-minute change, or Megamind would have been informed. And kidnappers prepare ahead of time, so it couldn't have been last minute. "Wait. He was set up?" His eyes widen a little, and his voice rises in pitch. "Sir, this is bad," he says flatly. "This is very, very bad. Come home. Turn around and come home."

"We're getting close, I have to go."

Minion stops walking. Roxanne nearly runs into him. "Sir? Sir!"

"I'll be careful, Minion," Megamind says, and then the static cuts off. Minion presses his lips together and jabs at the button on his suit, but nothing happens.

He looks around, turning in small circles. He lifts his hands to the top of his dome briefly before dropping his arms again and crossing them over his chest. Then he turns around the other way, pressing a hand to the front of his dome and then rubbing it up over the back. His eyes are huge, and his mouth is clamped shut, and the luminescent globes on his spines are twinkling nervously.

"Ohhhhhh," he moans. If he were human, he'd be biting his nails. "Oh this is bad this is bad this is bad. I should…I need to find him, I should go - I should -"

Roxanne's quiet voice interrupts him. "You should stay right here."

Minion whirls and stares at her. Roxanne is standing with her arms folded over her chest. "Miss Ritchi, you can't possibly be serious."

"I am serious. I'm dead serious." She shakes her head and ducks around him, heads for the stairs at a brisk walk. "Just because he's only ever used them to break you out of a secure government facility doesn't mean he's in any kind of spectacular danger this time. He could just be…I don't know, taking precautions."

Minion trails along behind her, looking stricken. "I should be there," he frets. "I should be taking care of him. My job is to look after him!"

"He'll be fine, Minion!" Roxanne exclaims brightly, sounding much more sure of herself than she really feels. "He's a smart guy. He can take care of himself."

"No he can't." Minion stops her when she reaches the top of the stairs, staying a few stairs down so that he can look her in the eye. "I failed him once, Miss Ritchi. I don't think I could…if I failed him again, I don't know what…"

Roxanne's face softens. "Oh," she says softly. Megamind has told her about what had happened after she had left him that night, before his battle with Titan, and before Roxanne really realizes what she's doing, she puts out a hand and rests it on the side of Minion's dome. "That's what this is about?"

He looks irritated. "Don't 'that's what this is about' me," he says. "I would be jittery even if we were still villains and still kidnapping you all the time and none of this had ever happened, and you know it. Now, he has some kind of plan and I don't know what it is, but he knows me and I know him and - with all due respect, please don't take this the wrong way - you don't. Not about this. I'm going to find him, and I'm going to help him, and please don't try to stop me."

Roxanne blinks and drops her hand. For a moment, Minion worries that she's going to try to convince him to stay at the Lair, but then Roxanne presses her lips together, nods, and steps back. "Okay," she says. "You're right. This is your show, not mine. Do you want me to come with you, or stay here?"

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Two minutes after the group has started making its way towards the abandoned residence where Maxence is being held, Bradley has decided that the way Megamind moves over rooftops is not natural and is, actually, kind of disturbing. The alien runs as if he's on solid ground, as if he isn't constantly risking falling three or four stories. Initially, most of the roofs had been flat rather than peaked, and all five people had run more or less steadily, leaping the gaps between buildings without too much trouble. Tax had been able to carry everyone over the streets that separated the blocks once they had been dehydrated.

"You have to be careful," Megamind had told them once they were over the first major gap. "The less time you spend dehydrated, the longer your nerves will take to come back online, physiologically speaking. I don't want you to spend too much time dehydrated, because you could probably do without being able to feel pain in this situation. That being said, by the time we reach Maxence your pain thress-holds will be so high they might as well be walls, and you could hurt yourselves without realizing it." He had looked straight at Jones. "So be careful, old man."

Jones had cracked a grin for the first time that night. "I'm not an old man, young pup." Megamind had grinned back, then whirled and led them over the next set of rooftops.

But now they're entering the more residential part of the Danger Zone, where the buildings are crappy tiny row houses and the roofs are peaked, and the humans are having a difficult time moving forward. Not so for Megamind, who had cleared the first gap in a flying leap, arms back and knees up. He had twisted his hips a little to use his knees as shock absorbers and gone into an immediate crouch as he had slid - surfed, really - down the roof towards the gutter, one long arm out-flung for balance, the fingers of his other hand trailing down the crumbling shingles to keep himself steady. He had come to a halt just short of the gutter, then turned to look back at the group of humans, jerking his oversized head in an obvious, well, come on then motion.

"Chris'sake," Lancaster had muttered, and had backed up a few meters and then run at the edge of the building. He had dived as he'd reached it, planting his hands at the very edge and launching himself into the air, landing in a very painful-looking somersault along the ridgepole and then coming into a crouch with one foot on either side of the peak of the roof - Bradley had made a mental note to remember that the mobster is made of equal parts kangaroo and ninja despite his girth.

Lancaster had raised a hand to the back of his head and looked at Megamind.

"You see what I mean," Megamind had told him, and Lancaster had nodded. Then he had been forced to scramble out of the way when Mercedes had landed roughly and nearly crashed into him; he had flung out a hand to catch her on reflex, then motioned for her to follow him further down the roof so that Bradley and Jones would have room to make the jump. They had both made it, but barely.

And they have to be quiet, which isn't easy. It's downright difficult, in fact; running and jumping is not a quiet activity, especially when you aren't sure of your footing. They manage all right, but they're all breathing hard by the time they reach the last building before they hit the final street separating them from their target. Two figures sit side by side on the ridgepole, a third perches on the chimney; the fourth lounges on a gable that looks out over the street. The Duke of Lancaster hails them with a wave and a gesture to be quiet, and the figure on the chimney nods. Nothing is said until everyone is close together.

"Plan?" the man on the chimney asks in a low voice, barely above a whisper, and looks at Megamind, who nods a greeting.

"The kid's being held in the third house down, in the attic," Megamind replies in a similar tone. "Lanc is gonna lead you down the same way you came up, and you gonna go to the house across the street. What all burners you got?"

"Pete's carrying a trey eight, I got my 'gage, and Gabe's got an AK."

"A .38, a shotgun, and a semi," Megamind murmurs, then looks up and glances around in obvious confusion. "Hold up, who's holding aces?"

"Ain't holding aces, Mente." The man on the gable gets to his feet, wild pale hair sticking out in all directions. He shrugs the massive crossbow he had been holding in his lap into place on his back - the straps are custom-fitted and allow him to slide the bow smoothly into position in front of him without doing anything more than raising his left arm. He pats the straps, lifts half of his mouth into a crooked, yellowish smile. The toothpick dangling from the opposite corner of his mouth doesn't fall. Megamind isn't surprised in the least; he has never seen Sundown without that toothpick. "This ain't a burner, technically speakin'."

Megamind's face lights up, and he stretches out a hand to grab the younger man by the shoulder. "Sundown," he says, "am I glad to see you. Heard you got taken out a while back."

Sundown shrugs, grips Megamind's forearm in greeting. Despite his precarious footing, he doesn't wobble. "Had to skip town for a bit, but I'm back now."

Megamind eyes the crossbow warily as he drops his hand. "That a new bow?"

"Yeah." Another quick grin from Sundown, and he lifts his arm and the crossbow sweeps around and clicks into place in front of him. "Remembered what you said 'bout draw strength. You gonna like this." He unhooks it, passes it up to Megamind, who turns it over once and then cocks it, raising an eyebrow at the reload speed.

"How d'you cock it when you've got it on the belts in front of you?"

"Tha's what this's for." Sundown holds up a metal rod with a hook on the end, then hangs it back on his belt. "The bow's been modified."

For some reason, Megamind looks almost cautious as he nods his approval and hands the weapon back. "Right," he says slowly, and Sundown's broad grin widens further. "…Good. So, you're going across the street, and when I flash SOS in the top window, you gonna make like you're just hacked off about these guys knocking your friend. I'll go in from the top, take out the guard, bring in the busters," he jerks his thumb at the trio of police officers standing awkwardly behind him, "who'll sweep 'em out while you distract them." He waits for a moment, then nods. "We'll go with that," he murmurs. "All right, boys. Move out. We'll wait for you before we move."

The men nod - Sundown aims a jaunty salute in Megamind's direction before slinging his crossbow back into place over his shoulder - and start to make their way back down to the ground, heading through a gable window into the house below. Megamind turns around to face Lancaster so that the others won't see, bends his head to speak into Lancaster's ear.

"I want as many alive as possible," he says softly. "Tell your boys. They listen to you."

Lancaster's dark face turns stormy. "You miss the bit where these guys broke the rules? You miss the bit where they dusted CJ?" He steps back so that he can look Megamind in the eye. "I take care of my people."

"I know." Megamind hesitates, trying to figure out a way to explain his viewpoint quickly but in a way that Lancaster will understand and agree. It's a difficult situation. Lancaster wants to avenge his friend, and the others are probably out for blood as well - Sundown definitely is. Megamind wants to minimize loss of life, if only because he doesn't particularly care for killing, but he'd also like to know what the kidnappers were thinking. And then there are the police officers to consider. Megamind really has no way to keep everyone happy, here, and he sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Something…smells bad, I don't know. Cuidado, yeah?"

Lancaster looks at him for a moment longer, then nods curtly. "See what I can do," he says, and turns to follow his cohorts through the window.

"Okay," Megamind whispers, more to himself than anything else, and wishes for the millionth time for the ability to fly. Then he shakes himself a little and summons Tax, dehydrates the three officers and then himself.

The next thing he knows is he's crouching on the roof of the target residence next to three other blue cubes, and he looks sharply up at Tax. The A-12 brainbot has nowhere near the capacity for logical reasoning that RS2K12 or Nibs have - but the bot had dropped him on the target instead of just carrying him across the street, which it should not have known to do without a direct order from Megamind. Maybe it had made the decision based on tactics? It certainly was more efficient to be carried directly to the target than to have to scramble and run over rooftops. Part of the reason Megamind hadn't simply had Tax carry everyone before was that the blue dehydration cubes glow, and could have alerted the enemy to their presence - the rest of the reason is that the A-12s simply don't have enough artificial intelligence for Megamind to trust them. Tax shouldn't have carried him any further than across the street. It shouldn't have been able to.

Then again, the A-12s do have some artificial intelligence. Maybe I've underestimated them, he thinks. He signals Tax to go and re-join the others, which are probably still out clearing the streets if they haven't finished yet, and the dark brainbot glides away and disappears.

Megamind shrugs out of his coat and puts it over one of the cubes before rehydrating it, concealing the flash of blue light as best he can and steadying the human on the ridgepole. Jones shrugs Megamind's hands away, rolling his eyes at the lack of disorientation - he had commented earlier about how he had expected to feel dizzy, and how weird it was that rehydration was just like opening his eyes. Megamind presses a finger against his lips, signaling, quiet, quiet, and points down at the roof with his other hand.

Jones nods, and keeps very still while Megamind rehydrates the other two. That done, Megamind turns and scans the house across the street for signs of movement, but he doesn't see anything.

Someone taps his shoulder, and he jumps, turns to see Jones pointing at Bradley.

The young officer frowns and mouths something. Megamind shakes his head. Bradley scowls and curls his first three fingers in, turns his palms up with thumbs and little fingers extended, drags his hands down a few inches. What now? he mouths again.

Wait, Megamind tells him, trying to remember his signs. I go first. Then them. Then you.

Bradley nods just as Megamind's phone buzzes in his pocket - Lancaster is in position.

Megamind carefully shifts so that he's crouching on the ridgepole, then springs forward to land on the peak of one of the two gables. Moving slowly, he swings himself around and peers through the window.

There's a lamp, and a man seated at a card table playing some kind of game by himself. Lying against the far wall is a little boy with brown hair, tied at the wrists and ankles with duct tape. There's a strip over his mouth as well. The boy's eyes are closed, but he's breathing. He's also shivering, which isn't surprising given that he's wearing a turtleneck sweater and no jacket, but at least he has gloves on.

You don't kidnap children, Megamind thinks as he pulls his de-gun. Not in this city. Not in Metro. He is almost certain that the window will squeak if he tries to open it, so he's not even going to bother trying. He dehydrates the panes of glass and then the window frame - luckily, the man in the room is so absorbed in his game that he doesn't notice the flashes of blue light, doesn't hear Megamind catch the blue cubes and stow them in his pockets. And he doesn't hear the ex-villain creep through the window and across the floor on velvet feet. Years of breaking and entering have taught Megamind to move absolutely silently when he wants to.

The man doesn't even notice he's been dehydrated. That's how dehydration works, after all.

Megamind lets the cube fall to the table instead of catching it. He turns and darts back over to the window, blinking the de-gun in bursts: short-short-short pause, long-long-long pause, short-short-short. There's a third pause, and then the house across the street lights up and gunfire shatters the silence.

Megamind stands for a few seconds with a goofy grin on his face, enjoying the noise and chaos of yelling downstairs - panic is fun, panic is good, yes, love the panic, love it, love it - before he realizes that he is having entirely too much fun with this and remembers that there is a child still freezing on the floor. He turns and bounds lightly over the card table, then cocks his head at Maxence, who has opened his eyes and is staring up at him.

"I need you to be quiet," Megamind tells him, dropping into a crouch and rolling the boy into a kneeling position and turning him around so that he can reach the tape on his wrists. "The people out there are just a distraction while I get you out of here; the last thing I want is for umpty-squintillion armed bad guys to come charging through that door. Oh, and by the way," he adds, pulling the last of the tape off and helping the shivering boy turn around again before setting to work on his ankles, "I love your costume." He glances up and winks, flashes white teeth in an easy smile that is totally at odds with the speed at which his hands are moving. "Excellent taste, really, and brilliantly done. Nice job on the lightning bolt. Homemade costumes are the best, don't you agree?" He keeps his voice low and his tone bright and cheerful, aware that Maxence is probably traumatized and not in the mood for surprises.

Maxence tears the duct tape off his mouth, spits out a bit of rag. "You're Megamind," he blurts, and Megamind claps a gloved hand over the boy's mouth. He turns his head a little, listening for a moment, but he doesn't hear anything from below other than gunfire and shouting - no footsteps on the stairs - so he relaxes and goes back to what he had been doing.

"What did I tell you about being quiet?"

"S-sorry." Maxence's teeth are beginning to chatter, and Megamind frowns and unbuttons his coat and wraps it around the boy's shoulders. He hears a quiet thump behind him and knows that one of the police officers has come through the window.

"Here," he says. "Put this on. How much tape did they use?"

"A lot." Maxence almost disappears in the pile of dark wool and curls his hands against his chest, looking curiously at the woman who has just crawled through the window. She looks very different from his mother, who is thin and wispy and downright frail in comparison. This woman has short hair, like a boy's, and a stubborn chin, and Maxence wonders if she wears that frown all the time. He turns his attention back to Megamind as the frowning woman helps an older man with iron-grey hair into the room. "I think th-they were afraid I'd get free too easily."

Megamind hides a grin. "You should make a less realistic costume next time," he murmurs. "They must've thought you were me."

Maxence beams, then plucks at the coat. The sleeves flop over his hands. "Where'd this come from?"

Megamind glances up at him, finally breaking through the last of the tape. "You don't think I go around in just spandex and leather all the time, do you?" he asks, raising his eyebrows and smiling. "I'll let you in on a secret - sometimes I wear normal clothes and use my disguise generator to make me look like I'm in full costume."

Maxence's eyes are wide. "Really?"

"Yes. Haven't you ever gotten out of bed and not wanted to get out of your pajamas?"

Max's eyes go wider still. "You wear pajamas?"

"Even supervillains wear pajamas. I brush my teeth, too. With a normal toothbrush. It's red."

"Wow."

Jones' voice from behind him makes Megamind turn. "We're going to head down, now. Take out as many as we can without hurting them. You get the kid out of here, get him out of the DZ."

Megamind gets to his feet, unconsciously positioning himself between Max and the door, then holds his de-gun out towards Jones, grip first.

Jones blinks and steps forward, takes it gingerly and looks at it. "What…"

Megamind pulls him closer, reluctant to go any further from Maxence than he already is, and reaches over to show Jones how to use the gun. "Here, see, these are the settings. It's set to de-hydrate, you should leave it there but you can use de-moralize if you need to. Just twist the cylinder to change settings. I'd just leave it where it is, but…if you need information and they don't want to give it to you, squeeze the trigger and hold it for a few seconds."

Jones looks at him in surprise. "You shouldn't - I can't possibly -"

Megamind scowls. He doesn't like letting other people touch the de-gun, let alone use it. But Jones needs it. It's safer than the officers' guns, and quieter. "Just take it, okay? And try not to die. Stick to the plan. Text me if something goes wrong."

Jones stares for a moment longer, then sets his jaw and nods. "Take care."

"Yeah, I don't wanna have to clean that head of yours off the pavement," Mercedes calls over, and Megamind blinks at her. That had sounded almost like a joke.

The doofy-looking, awkward smile blazes out before Megamind realizes what he's doing and gets control of himself, but for a moment Jones is looking at a familiar little blue boy with hopeful eyes, the boy that he had always thought been killed years ago. Then the moment passes and Megamind is back and the smile has turned into his usual mischievous grin, but there's still an uncomfortable stone in the back of Jones' throat.

"I'll do my best!" Megamind announces, then turns on his heels and focuses on Max. He has no idea what to do next or how to wish them luck any more than he already has, and he's relieved to hear them start down the stairs and close the door behind them. He hopes that turning around had been the right thing to do. He's never really gotten the hang of changing subjects or ending conversations without being obvious about it.

He reaches down and pulls Maxence to his feet, but the little boy staggers - his feet are totally numb, and his legs have fallen asleep from being stuck in one position for so long. "Whoops!" says Megamind, and catches him, laughing. "All right, kiddo, let's get you safe so we can try to bring some blood back into your extremities." The only basis of reference he has for talking to children is his memory of how the warden had spoken to him during his own childhood, so he tries for a similar tone. "Have you ever ridden on someone's back, before?"

"Piggy-back?"

"Uh…" Megamind blinks, uncertain. "Is that the one where you hold onto my shoulders and I hold onto your legs?"

Maxence bobs his head.

"That's a silly name," Megamind mutters, but nods anyway. "Then, yes, piggy-back."

"Uh-huh. Lots of times."

Oh, good. Megamind never has, but he's seen it done and he's pretty sure that would be the best way to carry a child over rooftops. He looks at Maxence for a moment. The oversized coat could make things difficult, but he's not about to ask Max to take it off; the kid is half-frozen already. The problem is that Megamind is going to need to be able to use his hands and arms for balance while running, and while ordinarily he would just ask Maxence to lock his ankles together around his waist - Megamind is pretty sure he's thin enough that the boy shouldn't have too much trouble with that - Maxence is probably numb. Megamind is aware that kids tend to hold on a lot tighter than adults expect them to, but he doubts that's the case when they're freezing. He probably should have dehydrated Max before giving Jones the de-gun.

"Okay," he says eventually. "I'm going to need to tie you on with something. Where'd the duct tape go?"

"I think it's on the table."

It isn't. After a quick glance around the room, though, Megamind determines that it had only fallen off and then rolled away. He retrieves it, then turns off his disguise generator so that he won't have to worry about the illusion of a cape and spiky collar getting in the way. "Okay," he says again, picking at the end to get the tape started. "You need to…what?"

"Your scarf is ugly," Max tells him frankly.

Megamind resists the urge to scowl as he adjusts the scarf, wrapping it more tightly around his neck. "One of my uncles made it for me when I was just a little older than you are now so that I wouldn't fail a shool assignment. I like it."

"You wore that to school?" Max tilts his head and looks at the pom-pom fringe.

"I didn't have anything else for Halloween," Megamind tells him, trying not to sound defensive. He likes children well enough, but he does find their frankness trying at times, and he doesn't really trust them. He crouches, motions for Max to climb onto his back.

"Not even a costume or something?"

"I grew up in prison," Megamind says shortly. He makes sure to keep the tape on Maxence's clothes as he tapes the boy's feet and hands together in front of him. He had been mistaken about the length of the boy's legs; Max's feet don't quite touch, so Megamind has to wrap a band of tape around each of the boy's ankles a few times and then tie them together in front of him with more tape. "We didn't really do costumes and trick-or-treating in there. Keep away from the back of my head, okay? And my neck. I need to breathe."

"What, never?" Max sounds totally baffled. "You never got to go trick-or-treating?"

"Not for candy, anyway." Megamind finishes with Max's wrists and ankles, but the boy still doesn't really seem like he's secure, so he starts wrapping tape around his torso and across the small of Max's back, effectively binding the two of them together. Max stays quiet, thinking, while he does this.

As Megamind reaches back to drop the roll of tape awkwardly into the pocket of his coat, Max gasps and bounces a little on his back. "I know! I know what!"

"What?" Megamind asks. "And keep your head down so you don't brain yourself on the window frame."

Max tucks his head behind the line of Megamind's bony shoulder until they're all the way out on the roof, and then he pops back up again. "You should come trick-or-treating with me next year! That would be awesome!"

Megamind chokes and nearly stumbles, trying not to laugh. Maxence is dressed like him, and even went so far as to paint his skin blue, but Megamind had sort of figured that was because he still counted as scary to most children. Given the level of sheer enthusiasm in Max's voice, though, Megamind is starting to wonder if the boy's choice of costumes had been fannish rather than based on 'scare' factor. He isn't really sure how he feels about that.

Flattered? Is this what 'flattered' feels like?

"…An' we could make our costumes and trade candy and we should stay away from Mr. Reynold's house 'cause of he's a dentist and only hands out apples, unless you like apples. Then you can have mine, too. And Mom'll make us cider on the stove afterwards and put cloves in and cinnamon and pumpkin spices - and I'll ask her if you can come over to carve pumpkins with us too because I bet you've never done that and it's loads of fun even if they do get smashed all the time…"

Megamind lets him ramble on as he climbs up to the ridgepole, focusing his attention on the matter at hand. He stands for a moment, testing his balance, trying to figure out whether Max is going to throw him off or not. Either way, when he starts running, Megamind will be able to just keep going; he won't have to worry about slowing down and waiting for humans to catch up. It's easiest for him to keep his balance if he's able to keep his momentum.

He launches himself forward, dashing along the peak of the roof with sure steps, hunching forward a little and springing into the air when he reaches the first gap. He twists his hips sideways as he flies forward so that he can land with the arches of his feet on the next ridgepole over, shooting his lead foot out to the side and skidding down the pole as if he were riding an invisible skateboard. Max squeaks and his arms tighten around Megamind's neck.

Easier, nothing. With the extra weight, he needs momentum. He needs all the momentum he can get. Megamind speeds up again, heart pounding, and decides that as soon as he reaches the end of the block, he's going to try to find a way down to the street. Carrying Max over the rooftops like this is just too difficult. Too dangerous. If Megamind fell from this height, he would be sore but probably wouldn't even bruise; if Maxence fell, he'd be killed.

Or…

He slides to a stop on the final roof and, with some difficulty, pulls out his phone to summon two brainbots. The streets should be clear, by now, he reasons.

After a long moment, Max speaks up from behind him in a tiny voice. "Can we not do that again, please?"

Megamind laughs and glances back at him. "Yes, sorry. I'm done jumping around now. I probably should have warned -"

BANG

Megamind turns and slips his feet backwards off the ridgepole, skids down the shingles on his stomach until he's able to hook his fingers over the peaked roof. That shot had been aimed at him, he's sure of it, and he just hopes he picked the right side of the roof to use as cover. Then he twists his head to look over his shoulder and sees the light in the house behind him, and he swears and flips himself around so that Max is pinned between his back and the roof.

"What is it? What's happening? Can I see?"

"Keep your head down," Megamind snaps, and feels Max duck back out of sight. The shot had sounded like it was from a rifle, so whoever had fired is probably reloading. Megamind listens desperately, calculating…If I jump, I can land on my feet, I'll need to fall forward instead of tumbling because Max is taped to my back, but I can catch myself on my forearms. He weighs fifty-five…call it fifty-six pounds, so twenty-five and a half kilograms so I'll need to absorb 240.1 extra newtons of force.

Shouldn't be too much of a problem.

He lets go of the roof and sits up a little so he won't scrape Max along the rough shingles as they slide towards the edge and the three-story drop that will follow. Max's arms and legs go tight and the boy lets out a high scream as he and Megamind plunge over the side-

And Megamind lands lightly on a pair of thauming, glowing brainbots; one foot on each. He isn't prepared for that, but he's learned to roll with the punches over the years and he's glad that he won't have to worry about falling three stories and possibly hurting Max. He can't help but laugh delightedly as the machines carry him away into the night.

"Ah ha ha ha! Ha ha ha haaaa…"

This is something he trained the brainbots to do ages ago, after he had decided that Metro Man would be easier to avoid if Megamind could fly, too. He's used the bots for flying a few times since he wrote the flight program, but he doesn't use them often - he knows exactly how top-heavy he is, and it makes him nervous. He's more comfortable with running and jumping, and he's better at activities that keep his feet on the ground anyway.

But he steers the brainbots down the street and away with Max safe on his back, out of range of bullets, dodging down alleys at random until they're on the outskirts of the DZ, where Megamind hears a familiar sound and grins.

You fantastic fish, you.

He guides the brainbots down and jumps off onto the sidewalk. "You okay?" he says.

Max nods. "I liked the flying better than the jumping," he replies faintly.

Megamind isn't sure if it's a human thing, specifically, but the vast majority of Homo sapiens sapiens he has observed have preferred to run than fly, and if they had to go airborne they wanted to stay airborne for as long as possible. In Megamind's experience, humans do not enjoy combining the two activities. More than that, the combination scares them. Lancaster and Sundown are the exceptions to that rule; Lancaster because he was trained, and Sundown because…well, because as near as Megamind can work out, Sundown isn't afraid of anything.

He walks towards the source of the familiar grumbling noise, and the invisible car flickers into visibility and the driver's door opens.

"Minion!" Megamind exclaims happily, as if he hadn't explicitly told Minion to stay at the Lair. "Hi!"

Minion sighs and shakes his head, but smiles. "Evening, Sir. Nice night for a kidnapping."

"Isn't it, though?"

Minion looks over Megamind's shoulder. "And who is this? Are you Max?"

"Minion, help me get him down," Megamind says. Roxanne must have told him about Max. What's she doing back at the Lair? Wasn't Bernard at home? Why wasn't he packing? "He's freezing, we need to get him warmed up."

Minion takes a pocketknife out of the car and cuts through the duct tape with very little difficulty. Max starts to get down, but as soon as he puts weight on his legs he crumples to the pavement. "Ow," he says, curling up a little, and ducks under the coat.

Megamind stoops to his level, puts out a hesitant hand and rubs where he thinks the boy's shoulder should be. Max has seemed very unperturbed thus far, which is out of the ordinary for a kidnapping victim. "Max? Hey, kiddo. Um…my…little man?" No, he decides, no, that just sounds stupid. "Hey. You okay?"

Max scrubs a sleeve across his eyes and sniffs, but nods. He doesn't uncurl or look at Megamind, though, and the alien frowns down at him, perplexed. Megamind suspects that, if his guess about Max's costume choice is correct, the boy's apparent lack of trauma had been due to a combination of surprise and delight that Megamind had shown up, but the surprise is wearing off now. And Megamind had given him a bit of a nasty shock with the roof trick.

He looks up at Minion, hoping for help, but the fish shakes his head and mouths, HUG, and points at Max. Megamind grimaces and turns back to the boy.

"Really?" He keeps his tone serious, bordering on conspiratorial. "Because you've just had a really scary thing happen. I know I'd be scared if I got kidnapped."

"No you wouldn't." Max's voice is muffled.

Megamind leans closer. "Between you and me? Yeah, actually. I would."

"He would," Minion chimes in, and Max uncurls a little, blinks uncertainly out at Megamind.

"Really?"

"Oh, absolutely," Megamind tells him, and Minion nods.

Max sniffs again, and the next thing Minion knows, the boy has both arms around Megamind's neck and is clinging to him as hard as he can, and Megamind is wearing his shocked oh-god-what-now face. "Sir," Minion mutters, and nudges Megamind with his toe.

Megamind holds Max against him as he gets to his feet, shifting so that Max is resting on his hip instead of dangling from his neck. Max is eight and Megamind isn't a tall man, but he makes it work. "I should…probably go and see how the fight is going," he tells Minion in an undertone.

Minion shakes his head. Right now, Max badly needs an adult to hold him, and he seems to have picked Megamind. Minion still remembers a few times when Megamind had needed similar comfort as a child, and he knows that if Megamind leaves now the emotional trauma from the kidnapping will be worse. "If it's important, we'll go in the car. You know it's action-proof. Sir," he adds in a warning tone when Megamind looks like he might argue.

Megamind looks down at the top of Max's head and, to Minion's surprise, caves. "You may be right, Minion. We'll take the car. Um…"

"Sit in the back. Just keep a tight hold on him and he'll be fine," Minion says.

Megamind nods gratefully. "You always know just what to do. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Minion rolls his eyes. "Likewise, Sir."

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