Cold Fusion: Hallows' Eve, Ch. 9

[dal_niente]

Sundown is mine.  Everybody else (c) to DreamWorks.  I don't own YouTube.


Chapter 9

Roxanne isn't totally sure what had happened while she had been asleep, but Megamind and Wayne seem to have reached more of an understanding with each other than they had before.  Their conversation is lighter, for one thing - the tones of their voices, the pitches are different.  As a reporter, Roxanne has become quite skilled at telling when people are comfortable; while the two men are not completely at their ease, neither are they half as tense as they had been earlier.  And Wayne seems to be in a better place emotionally, but Roxanne can't tell if that's because he's trying to maintain appearances in front of Megamind or if Megamind is distracting him and keeping his mind occupied.

Or both.  It could very easily be both.  Whatever the case may be, watching them talk is proving to be both interesting and entertaining, and Roxanne does her best to stay mostly quiet without tipping them off that she's observing them.

"So listen, I have to ask." Megamind puts down his fork and shifts on his stool so that his feet are braced against the top crossbars and he can put his elbows on his knees and lace his fingers together in front of his mouth.  "What is the deal with the random science crap all over your kitchen?"

Wayne grimaces.  "I was sorta hoping you weren't going to ask that," he mutters.

"Well, if you don't want to tell me…"

"No, no, it's cool.  I…it's crazy, I've mostly stopped doing it." Wayne rubs the back of his neck, something he only does when he's very uncomfortable.  "I wanted to see if I could make stuff."

Megamind raises an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that," Wayne grumbles.  "I'm not stupid.  I'm not."

"Never said you were."

"Dumb jock," Wayne reminds him, and Megamind blinks.

He glances at Roxanne for help, but she just shrugs.  Megamind rolls his eyes and turns back to Wayne.  "You've called me a scrawny little nerd a couple of times, as I recall, and that's a fairly accurate description."

"Yeah, but I didn't - that wasn't.  I mostly just said that to piss you off.  You aren't scrawny."

Megamind laughs.  "Wait, wait.  Seriously? Oh boy.  Okay, look at you," he points both hands fingers at the big ex-hero, then aims them back at his own chest, "and then look at me.  Do you notice any kind of difference in size, there?"

Wayne scowls at him.  "You are one condescending son of a gun, you know that?"

Megamind grins and makes a little bow.  "You do remember who you're talking to, right?"

Wayne gives him a quiet look.  His reply is much more serious than Megamind's had been.  "You do remember that I'm not Metro Man, right?"

Megamind blinks and sits back a little as his smirk falls away.  "Right.  Sorry.  I know you aren't stupid.  Continue."

Roxanne's attention sharpens.  What was that all about? she wonders.  It had sounded like Wayne is a lot more defensive of his intelligence than she had thought.

Wayne shrugs and lets the matter drop.  "Not much else to say.  I used to have fun in science, and…I've had a lot of time on my hands, lately.  They're just dumb projects, I mean I haven't ever really had a goal or anything…mostly it was me going, I wonder if I can make this."

Megamind doesn't say anything to that, just nods.  "And the mold cultures in the fridge?"

"I was working on identifying them." Wayne colors.  "But it was really boring, so I've just been putting it off for the past few weeks.  I've sort of stopped with the biology stuff.  Just not my thing, I guess." He heaves a sigh.  "And before you ask, the thermite was just to see what would happen.  Same with the bismuth and everything else."

"Huh." It's all Megamind can think of to say.  "Well.  I never thought you'd be into that kind of thing."

Neither had Roxanne.  She's known Wayne for years, and he has never shown much of an interest in…well, anything.  Except law.  Wayne knows Michigan state law like the back of his hand, and a lot of their old conversations had been about current cases that he had some kind of connection with.

Of course, his job had required him to understand the legal system, so the fact that he could go back and forth with himself for hours about seemingly trivial clauses had never really surprised Roxanne.  And it hadn't been boring - Wayne can explain the rationale behind even the most backwards-sounding tax regulations and make her laugh while doing so.

But…bismuth? Thermite? Where is this coming from?

"It…I'm not really," Wayne admits, then sighs again and shakes his head.  "Okay, look.  After I quit, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life.  I mean, being a hero was all I'd ever done, right? I had nothing to work with, nothing to go on - there was the whole music thing, but that wasn't…I didn't turn to that right away.  I was still kind of rebelling about that.  You know, old sore spot."

Roxanne blinks and glances at Megamind, but he's frowning at Wayne as if he doesn't understand what he means by 'rebelling' either.

"Anyway, I tried to think of somebody else who had started with nothing, like, maybe I could do something like that, you know? Except…except I was panicking, and I didn't know what I was doing, and I could only think of one person."

"Megamind," Roxanne murmurs.

Megamind looks over at her.  "Yes?"

But Wayne is nodding.  "Dumb as it sounds, yeah." And then, when the smaller alien turns an astonished gaze in his direction, he protests, "Well, c'mon! Who did you think I was gonna say? Who else would ever keep thermite under his sink?"

"I-I don't keep it under my sink," Megamind mumbles.  Wayne misses the numb tone with which this is delivered, but Roxanne doesn't.  "Minion won't let me do experiments in the kitchen."

Wayne snorts.  "Yeah, well, I don't have a cool lab, like you.  So I started making…I don't know, things that…well…" He's gradually turning red.  Megamind can't stop staring.  It's funny, he thinks, but he's never seen Wayne look this embarrassed before.  "I…made a laser." He glances at Megamind, then scowls, red all the way to his ears.  "What? Stop looking at me like that."

Megamind's eyebrows crawl higher.  "You made a laser?" he squeaks.

"Yeah.  It could light matches.  But there wasn't any point, I mean, I didn't invent it or anything.  I was just following how-to videos on YouTube…so I eventually gave up on that, too.  Mostly I was really, really bored and didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.  I just, I just wanted to see if I could make something." Wayne sounds defensive, and Roxanne doesn't blame him.  She's only seen Megamind look like he does right now once before: last night, when he had been so weirdly enthusiastic about the things she had been making.

"Can I see it?" Megamind wants to know, in the same dumbfounded tone as before.

Wayne blinks.  "Uh…sure.  I guess.  Hang on.  I'll.  I'll go get it." He lifts off from his seat and drifts out of the room.  He rarely forgets to land; the fact that his feet never touch tile is a sure sign that he's unsettled.

Roxanne leans forward and touches Megamind's wrist.  "What's going on?" she whispers.  "He did all this because he was bored? Mold cultures, thermite? I've seen him bored and he's never done this before.  And I'm with him; I don't really get why you're so happy about it."

Megamind turns to look at her with shining eyes.  His whole face has lifted into a mask of startled joy.  "Roxanne, he did all of this because I do all of this.  And I don't think I can articulate any more than that without sounding like a mad fan, so I hope you can understand what that means to me.  That he tried to imitate me." He chews his lip for a moment, and then a shred of worry creeps onto his face.  "Also, before he comes back - between you and me, I think I might actually have more self-esteem than he does, and that's just disturbing."

Roxanne shoots a glance at the doorway, but there's no sign of Wayne.  "Intellectually-speaking, I think you're right.  Some of what he said to me earlier…it was like, nobody's ever told him he was smart, not so that he believed them.  It sounded like…" She pauses for a moment, trying to find the right words.  She's been learning to express herself more precisely, since she started dating Megamind.  "Like the intellectual validation he's received has always been based more on favoritism and his social standing than on the merit and quality of his work.  Would you say that's right, or was he just reading too much into it?"

"It amazes me sometimes, just how much of our personalities is based on the impressions we're given when we're young." Megamind frowns for a moment, looking intently thoughtful, before glancing back up at her.  "But, unfortunately, I think I have to agree; I think that's accurate." His eyes narrow in sudden confusion.  "But that doesn't mean he's unintelligent."

"Just that he doesn't know if he is," Roxanne points out, and Megamind's expression clears.

"Ah, okay." He nods.  "That explains the apparent lack of confidence - it's me, isn't it? It's just that he's talking to me."

Roxanne shrugs.  "Well, you're the one he's based his life around."

Megamind lets out a quiet little groan.  "I really hope I'm not his standard for intelligence.  That is completely unrealistic."

"Oh, like your insecurities about your physical stature don't have anything to do with him."

Megamind sighs.  "Point taken."

A sudden thought occurs to Roxanne, and she inhales sharply and leans forward again.  "When he comes back in, you have to be honest about whatever contraption he's got.  You can't do whatever that was when we came here last time with the singing thing."

Megamind blinks once, honestly taken aback.  "What singing thing?"

Roxanne sends him a look.  "It was horrible and you know it."

"Oh, that.  I wasn't lying, you know." Megamind shakes his head, and it's Roxanne's turn to blink.  "His voice was bad, yeah, but the song was fine.  He's always had talent musically - no skill, I don't think he ever took lessons, I don't know why - but he's a solid musician, I'll give him that."

"Found it!" Wayne calls from down the hall.  He comes padding back into the kitchen a few seconds later, a small silver flashlight in his hand.  "I don't know if it'll still work, but I changed the batteries."

Megamind grins at him.  "If you ever go into villainy, there's a phrase you'd do well to remember."

Wayne blinks, grins uncertainly.  "And that would be?"

"'Worth a shot.'" Megamind laughs and holds out his hand.  "May I?"

Wayne shrugs and hands him the flashlight, looking entirely too nonchalant.  "It's not very good."

Megamind snorts and turns it on, studies the narrow beam of red light.  "Well, it hasn't blown up, which means it's loads better than my first laser.  What did you use?"

"Uh…a diode I took out of an old DVD burner and a flashlight.  Yours exploded?"

"Smithereens," Megamind says fervently, as he hands the makeshift laser back to Wayne.  "You should have seen the debris."

"Weird," Wayne mutters.  "I don't think this thing can explode."

"Mine was…" Megamind trails off, looking for a word, settles on, "bigger?"

Wayne can't help but grin, at that.  "What did you use?"

"I diode I took out of a satellite and my binky."

Roxanne starts to laugh.  She can't help it.  "Wait, what? Your what?"

"You know." Megamind scowls as color blooms on his cheeks.  "A pacifier.  Something parents give their son as a small comfort when he goes zooming off into space.  Mine had…well, it was a combination pacifier and fuel cell for the pod, and I wasn't sure what kind of accommodations Earth could provide, so I cut as much power as possible when we hit the Solar system.  Relied mostly on augmented gravitational pull to bring us in."

Roxanne stares at him.  "You weren't sure…just how old were you? I thought you were just…"

"Eight days," Wayne says, and Megamind looks up at him.  He's thinking again, thinking hard; he always is when he goes quiet and still like that.  "We were eight days old."

Megamind's gaze sharpens momentarily, and then his features relax into a smile.  "As far as we know.  You might be older than I am."

"It doesn't really matter." Wayne shrugs.  "Here we are anyway."

Roxanne clears her throat.  "Are you familiar with chaos theory? The butterfly effect?" They both look at her.  "You know.  Multiple universes, each one slightly different than the one before it because the decisions made were different?"

Wayne nods.

Roxanne takes a deep breath and looks down at her hands, where she's toying aimlessly with a fork.  She isn't really sure how to phrase what she wants to say, but she's going to try.  It's important.  She doesn't know why.  "I have this…idea.  I think that everybody has some single event, or moment, in their past that defines who they are.  It can happen at any time, for any reason, and it can be anything.  But everybody has one.  Something that happened to them, or that they heard, or that they said, that stuck with them for some reason.  And I think, I think if you can find that moment, if you can figure out what it is, you can learn a lot about yourself.  And I think you can have more than one - if who you are changes, if the way you look at the world shifts - but they all trace back to the first one."

She looks up at Wayne and Megamind.  "Do you know what I'm talking about? Is this making sense?"

Wayne nods.  Megamind's face has closed off as it so rarely does, and he isn't looking at her.  It's affirmation enough.

"Okay," Roxanne says.  "Okay.  I'm not going to ask what it is.  It's not my business and it's probably pretty private.  But what if your moment was different? What if it hadn't happened, what if your worldview had never changed? Or what if…what if one of the secondary moments hadn't happened?" She glances back and forth between them.  Wayne is frowning in thoughtful silence, Megamind's brow is deeply furrowed.  "Would we still be here, now?"

"It's impossible to say." Megamind still doesn't look up.  "But I don't think we would.  It depends on the universe.  Depends on the moment."

"I guess it's always possible that we would be," Wayne says.  "But I don't think it's very likely, no."

Roxanne nods.  "Okay.  If you had a choice, if you could go back and change your moment, or one of them, if you have more than one.  Would you do it?"

She's honestly curious, and a little apprehensive as well.  She knows there are things in her life that she has wanted to change - decisions she sometimes wishes she had made differently - but she knows that if the opportunity to change them arose, she wouldn't take it.  But she has learned things about Megamind's and Minion's lives that have made her want to hold onto them and never let go, and she's known for a long time that Wayne has secrets of his own and that the content, happy smile he had worn for everyone in Metro City wasn't totally genuine.

And Wayne answers first, which surprises her.  She had thought Megamind would think fastest and answer soonest.

"You can't ask me that," he says.  "I…it's too hard.  There's too much riding on it.  Not just for me."

Megamind laughs suddenly, and the other two look at him in surprise.  "See, I'm biased.  I already know it wouldn't work, and I know how devastating it would be even if itdid.  I told you, the reset button wouldn't work, the science is impossible - you'd have to rewrite reality.  Not just the universe," he adds sharply, glancing at Roxanne for half a second and then away again, "reality itself.  You'd have to collapse all parallel universes that stemmed from the point you were trying to return to, which would erase everything and everyone in them.  It would be murder, and I don't kill people." He takes a deep breath.  "So, no.  I wouldn't change anything."

His face cracks into a crooked smile as he reaches for his water glass.  "It's been a rough road, and it'll probably get a little rougher before the end.  But…" He lifts the glass into the air, and Wayne follows suit on reflex - Roxanne blinks, then hurriedly raises hers as well.  "Wayne, here's to your dad.  I didn't know him, but Roxanne says he was a good man.  And here's to your mother's health.  I'll do anything I can for her; I haven't really tried my hand at medicine yet, but if I can help, I will.

"And here's to the future," he finishes.  "Everything's changing, but we'll still be standing when the dust settles.  It'll be hard, but we'll make it through."

They drink, and the conversation turns to lighter subjects.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

When Megamind returns to the Lair that evening, he's alone.  Minion meets him at the door.  "Where's Miss Ritchi?"

Megamind shakes his head.  "She's staying with Wayne tonight." For a moment, he looks as if he might say more, but then he closes his mouth again and steps into the Lair and closes the door after him, locks it.  Slumps against it.  The lines around his mouth are more defined than they usually are.

"Sir, you look exhausted," Minion says, but Megamind rouses himself and shakes his head again.

"I'm not sleepy.  Just tired." He heaves a sigh.  "I need to destroy something," he murmurs, then huffs a laugh.

Minion raises an eyebrow and follows him into the big workroom.  "Bad day?"

Megamind stands next to his drawing board, head down, eyes distant.  Finally he shrugs.  "Not really.  I just.  We." He stares into space for a moment, then frowns up at Minion.  "Do you…does it bother you? I mean, everything's changing.  Do you mind it, any of it? Roxanne being here as much as she is? I know I haven't really been myself, these past few months - we haven't done anything together recently, not just us.  You and me, I mean."

Minion, privately, thinks that Megamind has been more himself lately than he has been since they were very young.  "Actually, Sir, I was wondering when you were going to ask her to move in with us."

Megamind smiles a crooked smile and drops into his chair.  "Soon, I hope, but I wanted to talk to you about it first.  You haven't said anything about being bothered, but you never do.  I worry I've been neglecting you."

Minion blinks a few times.  Megamind rarely asks for his input, and still more rarely in so sincere a tone.  He genuinely seems concerned.  "Well, Sir…it's been interesting.  I won't say I haven't had any problems adjusting, but I've had an easier time of it than you, I think.  I like Miss Ritchi.  I always have, you know.  She's nice.  Remember when she saw me for the first time?"

Megamind tilts his head.

"She said 'hi.' To me.  None of your other kidnappees did that.  And she thanked me."

Megamind frowns.  "I don't think I was there for that."

"The eighth time we kidnapped her.  Remember? I went alone.  And I brought her in over my shoulder like always, but she said that her ribs hurt and could I please hold her differently, and when I did she said thank you.  I tied her differently in the chair that time, too, and she noticed." Minion shifts his weight, looking uncomfortable.  "Sir, I don't know…and maybe it's just that I haven't had much contact with anybody else since we left the prison, but other than you, she was the first to treat me like a person.  Instead of just a fish in a bowl."

Megamind winces.  "Some of that is my fault, you know.  I made them think you were just a pet."

"To protect me, yes.  And with good reason.  I've never held that against you." Minion sighs and crouches, puts one massive hand on Megamind's knee and the other under his friend's chin, brings Megamind's head up so that he has to look Minion in the eye.  "Sir, I like her.  She's my friend.  Frankly, I think she needs a minion almost as much as you do.  And she makes you happy, which is all I've ever really cared about."

Megamind still looks uncertain.  "But…"

"What's more, she makes me happy, and that is more than I think either of us has ever dared hope for."

Megamind pulls his chin out of Minion's hand and rubs at his eyes.  "You're sure?"

"I'm sure," Minion nods.  "I think she's great.  Pushy, sometimes, but overall she's great."

"I'm so happy you two get along," Megamind mutters.  "It makes my life so much easier."

Minion laughs.  "Well, even if we didn't, I'm not the sort to give you a 'her or me' ultimatum."

Megamind looks at him.  "Minion," he says, and Minion blinks.  As hyperactive as Megamind usually is, that's how hard he can focus when he wants to, and right now Minion is suffering the full blast of that intense gaze.

"It would be you.  Every time."

Well, there are a million ways to respond to that, but Minion is momentarily stunned and uses none of them.  He knows, of course.  He would never doubt Megamind.  The desperate clenching of the strong fingers that had twisted in the fur of his shoulder as he had escorted Megamind out of the prison had erased whatever lingering doubts he might have had.  But saying things like that just isn't Megamind's style.

Then Megamind spins away in his chair, and Minion is freed from the obligation of having to say anything.  He straightens slowly, feeling the whir and hiss of valves and hydraulic pumps all through his robotic body.

"Minion, do we have enough parts to make another watch?"

Minion shakes off his shock and forces a quick mental inventory.  "I think so.  Why?"

"Good.  I think I'll make one for Wayne.  So that he can get out more, you know? Which reminds me, I want to make a few modifications to yours, too.  I would just make you a new one and turn your old one into a watch, but…" He glances back over his shoulder, grimacing.

"But mine is already fitted to my spatiokinetic signature," Minion finishes, "and neither of us wants to go through the hassle of fitting a new one."

Megamind looks absurdly relieved as he turns away.  "Precisely."

"Sir, if you don't mind my asking, where are you going to get the scans?"

At that, Megamind spins in his chair again, seizing his lower lip between his teeth.  "I had an idea," he says, rubbing his hands together, and good lord, he looks just like his old, villainous self.  "We already know we can't build overlays from scratch, not so that they'll stand up to close scrutiny.  But what if we merged a lot of real overlays into a new one? Scanned a lot of people and then mashed their images together into one completely unrecognizable amalgamation?"

"We could use our Metro Man scan as a base," Minion says slowly, and Megamind stops making mashing motions with his hands and looks up, wide-eyed.  "It would take care of the need for too many visual-spatial calibrations."

Megamind's whole face lights up.  "Yes!"

"And I'm sure we have enough footage of him to take care of most of the spatiokinetic calibrations as well." Minion grins at his friend.  "Then you could just give it to him.  We could even program it to take care of the rest of the calibrations on its own, as he moves.  Automatic updates, I mean, or something like that."

Megamind hums in agreement, tapping one long finger against his lips in thought.  "Mmm.  I'm sure he wouldn't mind flailing around a bit for the sake of calibration, but flailing madly is more my thing than his, yes…"

Minion is beginning to smile.  "So, no sleep tonight, Sir?" he asks, and Megamind bursts into a storm of laughter.

"Gather the parts, Minion.  We have work to do!"

And away they go, just like old times, just like clockwork.  Minion hurries away to the shelves, digging through piles of spare parts and opening labeled canisters - remnants of Megamind's ill-fated attempt to organize his chaos.  Megamind pulls out the original designs for the watch and thumbs through them, frowning.  Minion can assemble a third disguise generator without too much difficulty, and Megamind will work on the new programming.  But what about collecting the various scans they'll need?

He frowns harder.  He wants to get this done soon.  Megamind may be good at waiting, but he has never been patient.  He doesn't like waiting.

Especially when he doesn't have to.  He turns in his chair.  "Nibs!" he calls, and the brainbot comes flying into the room a few seconds later.  Megamind unstraps his watch and holds it out.  "I need you to go around town and scan as many men as you can.  Age range, late-twenties to mid-thirties.  No fewer than fifty scans, preferably a lot more.  And try not to be seen.  And I need you back in…five hours.  Can you manage that?"

Thaum, says Nibs, taking the watch from Megamind with a careful claw.  SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.

"Oh - sorry, I should show you how it works -"

NO NEED, Nibs blinks.  I KNOW HOW IT WORKS.

A confused smile finds its way onto Megamind's face.  "How could you possibly know that?"

YOU GAVE ALL BRAINBOTS ACCESS TO YOUR BACKUP FILES LAST MONTH.  I READ THE BLUEPRINTS; I KNOW HOW IT WORKS.

Megamind blinks back at Nibs, utterly startled for once in his life - and not just because Nibs knows the Morse code for semicolons.  "What? No, I didn't."

I WILL RUN YOU A REPORT, IF YOU WANT.  THIRTY SECONDS.

"Y-yes, that would be good."

BE RIGHT BACK.

Nibs flies off, and sure enough, thirty seconds later it's back with the printout.  Megamind scans over the sheet of paper, muttering under his breath.  "User alpha-ten, phi-twelve, seven four nine two four.  Authorization to Override Security Lock 13." He lowers the page.  "Huh.  I guess - I guess I forgot.  Thank you, Nibs, that will be all."

He stares at the printout for a few minutes after Nibs leaves, trying to remember when he had given the brainbots that authorization.  It's his user code, after all.  A10-P12-74924.  Even Minion doesn't know it - Minion has his own code - so Megamind himself must have issued the order.  The trouble is, he honestly doesn't remember doing it.

Why doesn't he remember? If he were human, if he were normal, this wouldn't be so unsettling, but Megamind isn't normal.  He doesn't forget anything.

Or, at least, he has always thought he doesn't.  But the evidence to the contrary is staring him in the face.  He swallows and shakes his head a few times.  Well, so he has forgotten something.  There's a first time for everything, isn't there? It isn't important.  The watch, on the other hand, is important.  Megamind tries to force his missing memory out of his mind and turn his attention to more pressing matters.

Eventually Minion comes back with a beautiful new titanium chassis, and starts work on the updated design of the display - the new disguise generator can't look like Megamind's watch; it has to be something Wayne would wear, it has to be classy.  Megamind finishes the auto-update programming, which is a completely new venture.  Ordinarily he doesn't trust anything automatic (ATMs, especially.  Megamind knows exactly how traitorous they are), but this is for a good cause and there's no real harm that can follow since the watch isn't going to be linked into Megamind's private network.  Then Nibs returns with the new scans, and Megamind is able to really focus on something else.

But the prickling sensation on the back of his neck doesn't go away for quite some time.  Not until distraction comes in the form of Roxanne returning with blood on her shoes and her coat.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The cabbie isn't Akos, and Roxanne asks to be let out at Giorgio's Patisserie, close to the edge of the warehouse district.  She doesn't want any more people than necessary knowing how much time she spends hanging out around the warehouses.  Besides, it's a beautiful morning for a walk, bright and cold with a light dusting of snow on the ground, and Roxanne can use the time to think.

My life, she thinks, has gotten very weird in the past year and a half.

Lately she's been thinking, wondering what her life might have looked like if she had never met Megamind.  The ease with which she has adjusted to their relationship is kind of unnerving for her; learning how to work with her previous boyfriends had always been at least a little bit of a hassle - their schedules, their moods, their likes and dislikes, how to get them to leave her alone without making them feel too bad about it.  It had all been work.  To be fair, they had been worth the effort, for the most part, but being alone had always been easiest for Roxanne.

She hasn't told Megamind that.  It would only make him worry, and besides, there's no reason to.  Life with Megamind is easy, almost frighteningly so.

Maybe it's because the two of them had already come to know each other fairly well, thanks to years of almost-weekly kidnappings, but Roxanne is comfortable with Megamind.  She had been comfortable with Peter, too, but only as friends.  As his girlfriend, she had always been on edge, tense, wondering if she was doing okay or messing up horribly.  Megamind and Minion aren't like that; they tell her when she messes up.  That had been a surprise, initially, because Megamind had been so wary of offending her, but after that nasty incident with the 3-D projectors he had opened up a lot and started voicing his concerns.  And even when Megamind still can't bring himself to say something, Minion will pull Roxanne aside and say it for him.

She turns down a side street on her usual shortcut to the Lair, hiking her purse higher onto her shoulder and before shoving her hands in her pockets and tucking her chin down into her scarf.  She frowns down at the road in front of her boots, listens to the crunch of snow between heel and pavement.

Sometimes, when she looks at Megamind, she tries to picture him as a villain again.  Remembers him dancing around the Lair, cackling maniacally, showing off his newest creations, kidnapping her, threatening her with flamethrowers and knives and laser cannons of various sizes, all of which could have killed her if he hadn't been careful.  Sometimes she tries to picture that Megamind side-by-side with the she wakes up next to four or five mornings a week, and she's surprised at how difficult it is.  It's like they're two completely different people.

And then sometimes he smiles that sharp, bright smile over his shoulder, and Roxanne hears him saying, "Ready the death ray, Minion!" in her mind, and she remembers that they aren't two different people.

She had never thought, never once considered, that Megamind might be as different from his stage persona as Wayne had always been.  And when she thinks about how often Megamind has surprised her, she's disappointed in herself.  She had judged him just as quickly as the rest of Metro City - judged him, and found him lacking.  Immature, flighty, shallow, careless.  If someone had come to her five years ago and told her that someday she would be dating Megamind and actually falling in love with him, that she would be happy with him, she never would have believed it.

But here she is, walking an entirely too-familiar path to Megamind's Evil Lair.  She doesn't even think about the fact that she's walking through the warehouse district anymore, which she realizes later is her first mistake.  Her second mistake is that her can of mace is in her purse, and not her pocket.

There are two of them, and they are such generic thugs that, if not for the very real danger of the situation, Roxanne might have laughed.  One short fat one, one tall thin one.  Both with gloves with scorched-off index fingers, both with ratty scarves, both squinty and leering and red-eared from the cold.

And they introduce themselves as Horace and Jasper.  "Really?" Roxanne can't help asking as they back her towards the wall.  She glances up and down the alley they've pulled her into, seeking a way out, but it's a dead end - there's a van parked at the far end, and Dumb and Dumber are blocking the only entrance.  "101 Dalmations? Youreally couldn't come up with better code names?"

Horace shrugs.  "That's irrelevant," he says, and cocks his gun.  Jasper rolls his eyes - a quick check tells Roxanne that his gun is already cocked.  "We have our orders.  Are you, or are you not, Roxanne Ritchi?"

"Oh come on," Jasper snarls.  "She obviously is.  Not exactly low-profile.  Looks just like her photo.  Probably has wads of cash on hand.  Your money or your life," he tells Roxanne.

"You were ordered to rob me specifically?" Roxanne's eyes narrow.  "That doesn't sound right."

"Again," Horace says nastily, "irrelevant.  I'll need to see some photo ID."

"Who the hell are you guys?" Roxanne demands, and Jasper slams a hand into the wall beside her head, making her jump.  Okay, that isn't good.  And when he leans in, brings his face close, shoves the barrel of his pistol into her sternum, that definitely isn't good.  Roxanne tries not to shrink away.

"We're the guys who are giving you a lift to a nice warm room without any windows," he says flatly.  The chill that starts to crawl up Roxanne's spine freezes in its tracks when he stumbles forward, cracking their foreheads together.  "Nnagh!"

He staggers, clawing at the silver spike that has appeared like magic in the middle of his chest.  Horace yells and grabs his shoulder, pulls him back, and then collapses like a marionette with its strings cut.  A similar bolt protrudes messily from his forehead.  Roxanne and Jasper stare down at him in shock.  Then Jasper rocks forward, screaming, when a second silver bolt appears nest to the first.

The shadow that drops down behind him slams the butt of the biggest crossbow Roxanne has ever seen across the top of his head, and he goes down without another sound.  The alley is suddenly, blissfully silent.

The man with the bow gazes at Roxanne.  He's tall and very slim, and his pale eyes are flat and cold under heavy brows.  His hair sticks out in all directions, a tangled mess of matted yellowish-red curls.  Every neuron in Roxanne's brain is firing like crazy, screaming for her to run, but all she can do is stand where she is and stare into those flat eyes.  They're so bright.  There isn't much light in the alley, but the stranger's eyes are incredibly bright.

"You're that reporter," says the stranger.  He speaks out of one side of his mouth; there's a toothpick stuck in the other side that bounces as he talks.  It gives him a sneering, lopsided air, but he sounds as if he's simply making an observation.

Roxanne finds her voice.  It's faint.  "Y-yes, that's me."

"Wasn't a question." Without warning, the man drops to a crouch and pulls the crossbow bolts out of the first goon's chest.  A spurt of blood hits him in the face, but he doesn't even flinch - he just wipes the arrows on his jeans and fits one of them back into the bow, slides the other into his quiver.  The skin on his hands is a tangle of scars, especially on his knuckles.  "Tell Mente my debt's not changed next time you see him.  He'll understand."

"Mente?" Roxanne echoes faintly, and a flat eye glances up at her.  His ears have been cut, she realizes, and her stomach turns over.  His ears have been cut.  The tops are squared off.

"…Megamind," the stranger clarifies after a long pause.

"Oh! Yes, right, of course, and who should I say is…"

"Got a light?"

Roxanne fumbles in her purse for a lighter and holds it out to the stranger.  She doesn't smoke, but she is dating an ex-supervillain, and there are things she's learned to keep with her.  "S-sure, here."

"Much obliged." The man lights his cigarette, takes a drag, tosses her the lighter.  His toothpick stays where it is.

"Well, it's, it's the least I can do," Roxanne stammers.  "You probably just saved my life."

"Tch," the stranger says, and waves a lazy hand at her.  Blood drips from the end of his crooked nose onto his flannel shirt.  "Didn' do it for you.  Did it 'cause these bozos're the scum of the earth and I don't like them." He reaches down, removes the other bolt from the second man's head.  It makes an awful slunching noise as it comes free, and he has to flick a shard of bone away before putting it back in his hip quiver.  Roxanne thinks she might be sick.

"Anyway," he says, and stands.  Good lord, he's tall.  She can't look away from his eyes, so pale under that tangled mane of hair.  "Tell Mente I said hey, yeah?" Quick as blinking, he puts a hand on Roxanne's waist and pulls her close, kisses her cheek.  Roxanne smells blood and cinnamon on his breath.  No tobacco.  That's weird.  …It's weird that I think that's weird, after everything that just happened, the fact that he smells like cinnamon is what's weird? "You take care, now, pretty lady."

And then he turns and saunters off into the shadows, leaving Roxanne standing over two dead bodies in an alley and wondering what the hell just happened, trying not to panic.

Home.  Have to get home, have to get home, have to get home.  She wants to run there, but she can barely move her legs.  Those eyes…she starts counting, first in her mind, then out loud as she walks.  Counting helps.

She turns the corner, sees the wall of graffiti of the Lair, walks toward it, the blood pounding.  Lets herself in, forgets to close the door behind her.

Megamind is at the worktable Roxanne had built, springs and screws and wires and bits of metal scattered over the table willy-nilly, focused with laser intensity on something small in front of him, long fingers twirling a screwdriver.

"I met a guy in an alley today," she says faintly.  "He said to tell you hello."

Megamind is really only half-listening and doesn't look up.  "Oh yes? What'd he look like?"

"He shot them," Roxanne says, and her voice sounds like it's coming from far away.  She's dimly aware that she's starting to shake.  "His hair was everywhere.  He shot them.  He shot them and then he kissed me.  They - they had, they were going to, to, but then he shot them and there was blood everywhere and his eyes were sobright."

Megamind is suddenly in front of her, his hands gripping her shoulders, and Roxanne gasps and tries to jump back.  "Roxanne? Roxanne, oh my god, are you okay?"

"Don't touch me! Get away!" Roxanne stumbles away, jerks her shoulders out of his grasp, shoving at him.

"Roxanne!" he protests, but he doesn't try to touch her again.  Her arms are up, shielding her face, warding him off.  "Okay," Megamind says hastily, "okay, love, I won't.  I won't, okay? He kissed you, did he, did he do anything else?"

"No." Roxanne shakes her head hard, and Megamind's knees go weak with relief.  "I'm sorry, I didn't want him to, he just sort of did, and I couldn't stop him.  It wasn't even romantic.  Like a way to say goodbye.  He killed them.  And his ears.  His ears.  And he killed them, he shot them."

"Who are they?"

"I…I don't know.  A couple of random guys." Roxanne hugs herself, shivering.  Megamind carefully steps closer.

"I'm going to give you a hug, all right?"

"Yes, sure, whatever you want."

He steps closer and wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly.  She stiffens.  "It's okay," he says.  "It's okay, I've got you, you're safe now, you're here with me.  It's okay."

Megamind smells like leather and engine oil.  No blood.  No cinnamon.  And no cologne.  Roxanne shudders.  "Who uses a crossbow these days, anyway," she mumbles.

Megamind goes rigid.  "What?"

Roxanne has heard that tone before, soft and deadly.  Her first instinct is to run, but she fights it.  Megamind isn't like that, she tells her brain angrily.  It's just the circumstances.  You're weak and triggery right now.  Shut up.  Shut up.  Shut up.  "Crossbow?" she asks.

"This man, did he have a toothpick in his mouth?"

Roxanne nods, and Megamind's hands clench into fists against her.  Roxanne doesn't scream.  She never screams, not anymore.  "Sundown," Megamind whispers, and lets out a long, slow breath.  "Thank god.  I'm so glad you're okay." He moves a hand to cup the back of Roxanne's head, and she can't help it: she lets out a tiny, frightened whimper.

Very slowly, Megamind pulls back and looks at her.  Her eyes are closed, and she's flinching.  Her breathing is shallow.  "Roxanne, you're…are you scared of me?"

She bites her lip and shakes her head frantically.  "Of course not, no, don't be stupid.  I'm just…it's stupid, I'm so…hang on, okay? Okay?"

He releases her, and Roxanne backs hastily away from him almost immediately, her eyes still closed, her arms coming up again as if to shield herself from an assailant.  Megamind feels sick.  What's going on? Roxanne has never been afraid of him.  Not that he's seen, anyway.  "Roxanne?"

"Just don't touch me.  I'll be fine.  Don't touch me.  I'll be fine."

Stung and bewildered, Megamind nods.

A moment later, Roxanne begins to count slowly under her breath.  She makes it nearly to two hundred before she's finally able to get her breathing under control and look up at her boyfriend, who is still standing away from her with worry written all over his smooth blue face.  "Sorry," Roxanne whispers, as the past exchange comes flooding back.  "I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry."

Megamind's green eyes are wide.  "Roxanne, please.  What happened? What's wrong?"

"It's, I have.  I have just a little bit of baggage," she says.  "I…it.  I thought I was over it but…today just, and yesterday, and I'm just an emotional wreck right now what with the Scotts and the kidnapping and Wayne and everything…and then you with the sort of but not freaking out, I'm so sorry, Megamind."

He hesitates.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Honestly?" Roxanne bites her lip.  "No.  I will if you want me to."

Megamind shakes his head.  "I don't want you to tell me anything you don't want to," he says firmly, never mind that he's confused and trying very hard not to take anything personally.  Roxanne looks at him.  "But can you at least tell me what I did wrong, so that I don't do it again?"

"I just…I get head-shy, sometimes," she replies after a pause.  "When I'm freaking out."

There's a lot that she isn't telling him, but he doesn't ask - now is not the time.  "I see.  And you never told me about it, why, exactly?"

"I know, I know I should have told you." She shuts her eyes and scrubs her knuckles on her forehead.  "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," he tells her.  "It's okay.  I just want to know."

Roxanne scowls down at the floor.  "Because I thought it shouldn't matter.  I thought I was over it.  Apparently I was wrong, and I really am sorry about that.  I should have known.  I should have realized."

Megamind puts two fingers under her chin and pulls her up to face him, then scowls back.  "If you apologize again, I will bite you, I swear I will.  Grarr." He clicks his teeth together twice in a chomping motion, and Roxanne smiles a little.

"Okay."

He glances away, then back.  He looks suddenly nervous.  "Would…would a hug help? Or would it be a bad thing?"

Roxanne answers by lunging forward and pulling him into what is possibly the tightest hug he's ever received.  He reciprocates gladly, clinging to her with all his strength until she mumbles something into his shoulder.

"What?"

"I love you," she says again.

"So you've said," Megamind replies, and Roxanne can translate his tone into a facial expression without having to look - mouth curling up at one corner, one eyebrow quirked higher than the other.  "I love you t-"

"Not enough," Roxanne interrupts savagely, "I haven't said it nearly enough.  How long have we been together? Four months, five? I shouldn't feel like this about you yet.  It isn't right.  It's too much.  I'm sensible, I don't fall head-over-heels for anybody.  Not for anybody.  You know, I get scared sometimes about how much I love you? You're amazing.  And I'm surprised at how amazing you are, and I feel awful for being so surprised, because I thought the worst of you, I really did."

"Oh, come on," he protests, but Roxanne cuts him off again.

"No, seriously.  I wanted you dead.  I am a mean and bloodthirsty and vindictive person sometimes.  Drew can tell you! After that Bernard thing, I went home and I called him and, and I said - things.  Things that I meant, mostly.  And now you're here, and you, you're amazing.  And I love you.

"A-and," she stammers, "and I hit you.  Twice.  I still feel bad about that.  That thing with the projectors, remember? I slapped you."

Megamind shrugs.  "I was being an idiot."

"That doesn't make it okay!" Roxanne exclaims.  "I shouldn't have done that.  It's, it's domestic violence, it is not okay."

"Okay, stop," Megamind says sharply, and the edge in his voice catches Roxanne's attention.  "Just.  Stop.  I hear what you're saying, I understand what you mean, but 'domestic violence' has such a strongly negative association.  Too strong.  I'd say you lost your temper and did something stupid.  You weren't trying to hurt me."

Roxanne scowls.  "It doesn't matter.  I shouldn't have even thought of doing that."

Megamind rolls his eyes.  "Oh, for crying out loud.  All right, yes, it was dumb.  No, you shouldn't have done it.  But it doesn't make you a bad person.  And you show me someone who claims to have total control over what he thinks about doing, and I'll show you a liar.  And you know I haven't held it against you, or I'd have said something - Roxanne, where is this coming from?"

"I was…I was thinking about it earlier.  When I was walking here.  If somebody had told me five years ago that I'd be dating you and happy about it, I'd have laughed them out of town."

Well, that stings, but Megamind knows that it's true and he appreciates the honesty.  "Well, if somebody had told me five years ago that I'd be dating you and you'd be happy about it, I would have run them out of town for being delusional and obscenely optimistic.  Neither of us expected this.  I don't think anybody did.  I'm still surprised, when I think about it."

He ducks his head forward, kisses her on the nose.  "Now.  I am going to go and have a shower, and then I am going to change clothes.  And then we're going to have breakfast, okay?"

Roxanne nods.  "Yeah.  Yeah, okay.  I need to call my mom about Thanksgiving, anyway."

Megamind nods and steps away, then pauses.  "You're wearing different clothes."

"I used to keep a spare set at Wayne's place.  For those all-night Checkers tournaments."

Megamind looks skeptical.

"Okay, so they were mixed with terrible horror movies and sci-fi originals," Roxanne admits.  "Shoot your prisoner."

Megamind snorts and nods, calling over his shoulder as he heads for the hallway.  "Sounds like fun, I guess.  I'm more of a Scrabble guy, myself, but to each his own."

"Yeah, well, I imagine Wayne, Minion, and I would all have to team up before we'd even have half a chance against you," she shouts after him, already digging in her purse for her phone.

"Deviously intelligent!" he sings back.

Roxanne shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

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