Title: By Your SIde
Pairing: Lee Hyukjae/ Lee Donghae
Fandom: Super Junior Au
Rating: PG
Summary: You're supposed to grow out of imaginary friends once you reach a certain age.
Notes: So I've been away a lot. Apologies. Gained a few new fandoms. My previous stories can be found at
AO3. Enjoy!
"Imagine Hyukjae-ah, one day you'll wake up and we won’t be here anymore." Hyukjae hugs the pillow closer but doesn't open his eyes, knowing Jungsu hyung is frowning at Heechul hyung, who Hyukjae knows will be poking his tongue at him or studying his nails. "It'll be wonderful, wouldn't it be Hyukjae-ah?"
Hyukjae smiles. He can imagine Jungsu hyung's face, half-moon eyes and dimpling beautifully. He is always an amazing sight to wake up to. It's 50/50 with Heechul hyung, depending on the mood he's in.
"Promise me," he says, "promise me I’ll never be alone."
"You ask the same bloody thing every morning. Do you think the answer will be any different today?" Heechul hyung pokes him on the side. But Hyukjae waits for Jungsu hyung's answer.
"I promise you, Hyukjae-ah." Jungsu hyung's voice is gentle and Hyukjae feels his lips in his hair. "You’ll never be alone."
Hyukjae opens his eyes and greets the new day with a smile.
---
"He's watching you," Heechul hyung comments, flipping his hair and studying himself in the wide mirror wall of the dance studio.
Hyukjae doesn't falter, doesn't miss a step, he continues practicing the choreography.
"It doesn't mean anything," Hyukjae mutters, keeping his eyes away from the figure sitting at the back wall.
Heechul hyung glares but Jungsu hyung cuts in before anything venomous comes out of his mouth.
"He is watching you, Hyukjae-ah."
This time Hyukjae lets his eyes wander and fix. Donghae holds his eyes for a moment through the mirror before ducking his head and looking away. Hyukjae watches as Donghae stands up, says a few words to Shindong hyung before shouldering his bag and leaving.
Hyukjae can't help it when his heart twists painfully in his chest and he comes to an abrupt halt, arms hanging limply by his sides. Jungsu hyung wraps his arms around his waist. "I'm sorry, Hyukjae-ah," he whispers, leaning his head on Hyukjae's shoulder. Hyukjae breathes. Heechul hyung hits him on the back of the head.
"You're an idiot."
Hyukjae sighs. "I know."
"Are you coming to dinner Hyukjae-ah? Kyuhyunnie's bringing his new boyfriend," Shindong hyung calls.
Hyukjae groans and resists the urge to hit himself on the forehead. Heechul hyung does it for him.
"I'm sorry, hyung. I promised Ryeowookie I'll help him study tonight." He doesn't mention that he really doesn't want to spend another night moping around Donghae or watching Kyuhyun's smug face, gloating about his hot new boyfriend. He also knows for a fact that whatever food Ryeo would have cooked at home would be a hundred times better than anything they'd get from the takeaway shops around here.
Shindong hyung frowns. "Avoiding him is not going work, you know," he says sagely.
Hyukjae's eyes widen in surprise. "What do you mean, hyung?"
"Any idiot can see you pining after Donghae," Shindong hyung says with a shake of his head, "except for Donghae himself apparently."
Heechul hyung hums approvingly. "Tubby is more perceptive than I thought."
Jungsu hyung frowns. "Don't name call."
Heechul hyung glares.
Hyukjae drops his head. "I'm sorry, hyung."
Shindong hyung chuckles. "Don't apologise to me. Just do something about it soon will you? This is worse than that time Kyuhyunnie got dumped."
Hyukjae flops on the floor when Shindong hyung leaves and buries his face in his hands.
Jungsu hyung rubs soothing circles on his back. "It’s okay, Hyukjae-ah."
Heechul hyung growls. "The hell it is! Just go find that smiling idiot and kiss him senseless, will you? All this moping around is driving everyone insane!"
Hyukjae drops his hands and looks at Heechul hyung incredulously. "But hyung, what if he doesn't like me?"
"But what if he does?" Jungsu hyung asks softly. "What if he's spending all his time watching you too?"
Hyukjae smiles, warmed by the idea. "But hyung, wouldn't I have noticed him watching me?"
"Really? You didn't even know Ryeo was fucking Jongwoon until you caught them in bed! Even though Ryeo organised a special dinner to introduce him to you and kissed him goodnight right infront of your face, you oblivious dolt!" Heechul hyung clarifies for him happily.
Hyukjae moans and collapses backwards to the floor. "I'm a disappointment to all mankind!"
His hyungs lie down beside him and reach out to take his hands in theirs'. They look up at the ceiling, watching the rusted fan spinning slowly.
"Everything will be fine, Hyukjae-ah," Jungsu hyung says confidently.
"Yeah. Just do as I say." Heechul hyung agrees.
---
You're supposed to grow out of imaginary friends once you reach a certain age.
The funny thing is that Hyukjae never had any imaginary friends when he was young. Never had two, or even one imaginary friend until he went to high school.
When all the teasing about his face and smile and hair ensured that no one really wanted to be his friend. And one day Jungsu hyung had held him as he cried and Heechul hyung shouted insults at the bullies.
Ever since that day in the school toilets, they have been with him through everything. He wakes up with them and they are with him when his eyes close at night. They stand vigil by his side as he studies for exams, tells him to fix his tie in the mornings and yells at him when he over cooks the noodles for dinner (Heechul hyung that is, not Jungsu hyung). He never wants to give them up. Even though now at university he actually has friends because apparently he is not as hideous as he was given to believe.
Jungsu hyung had asked once in that lovely voice of his'. "Hyukjae-ah, you don't need us anymore. Let us go."
Hyukjae had recoiled and utterly refused. His hyungs had sighed but hadn't bought it up again.
---
Hyukjae is still laying on the floor, contemplating his life when he hears the door click open. He sits up, thinking Shindong hyung had come back.
"I'm sorry hyung, I'll close up when-" he freezes when he recognises the familiar dark head. Donghae frowns at the room at large before focussing on him.
"Are you- are you coming to dinner?" Donghae asks hesitantly.
Hyukjae stares at him. "I-"
"Go!" Heechul hyung yells in his ear.
Donghae is twisting the strap of his bag between his fingers and Hyukjae knows without a doubt that this is the most beautiful person on the planet. And he is so in love with him.
"I promised Ryeo I'd…" he falters when Heechul hyung screeches in his ear.
Donghae's shoulders slump a little. "Oh...okay," he says quietly. "I just thought...I mean I'm not sure if I want to face Kyuhyun's craziness alone. But you have plans so…"
Even Jungsu hyung is shaking his head at him sadly.
"Come home with me!" he blurts and watches Donghae's eyes widen. Jungsu hyung is gaping at him and Heechul hyung pats him warmly on the back.
"I mean...um… you clearly don't want to go to dinner and...Ryeowookie would have cooked a lot of food and I mean...you can study with us too," he is mumbling. He knows this. "If you want...that is. You don't have to study, or even come over. I just thought-"
"Okay." Donghae is smiling.
"Now kiss." Heechul hyung instructs and Hyukjae's grin widens when Jungsu hyung hits him on the shoulder.
***