(no subject)
I did this really depressed poem (considering I was depressed) on Thursday. I read it to Matt, and I want to get more feedback. So be brutally honest!
Alone
Here I am,
Alone.
Thinking of the things I could have said to you.
Wishing I had.
Wishing you were here
And there was no one else around so I could say them.
Though I know I wouldn’t dare utter a word.
Fearing that word would multiply by three.
Fearing those words would forming a sentence
That I would die to say to you:
“I love you.”
I fear your reaction to my sentence.
Would you laugh?
Yes.
Would your heart open to me?
I wish.
Would I see blue ice melt into tears,
As you wrap your arms around me
And utter the words back?
Never.
You’re too strong.
I’m too weak.
Though I wish for it,
I know it will never be.
My fantasy plays itself out,
Never morphing into the reality of you
Holding my hand. Of you
Kissing me. Of you
Being my pale pillar of life
And I…
But I am nothing to you.
Like I have been
Like I forever will be.
So here I am alone,
Tears blinding me as I stare at this screen.
But my fingers move, hoping that this poem
Will somehow bring you to my door,
Help you wipe away my tears,
And everything will be alright.
But I know, that when I close this laptop
And my eyes
(To allow useless tears to slip from them)
I was,
Will,
And forever shall be
Alone.