Comments | dalumat: I am Not Like You Even If I am Like You

dalumat

I am Not Like You Even If I am Like You

Dec 07, 2005 06:20

A chunk of their young lives, their nights, was spent in gay chatrooms looking for the next big hook-up. To me, it seems like a way of growing up. They addressed, managed, satisfied their sexuality by joining a community, night after night, meeting people, making friends, finding sex. They got themselves out there. Maybe if they did it at 35, I'd ( Read more... )

Comments 27

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bodiddley December 7 2005, 17:03:17 UTC

But remember, the connection can only be made, if you are willing to share yourself unconditionally.

well said.)

dalumat December 7 2005, 22:24:13 UTC

yes that's what true friends are. and i have those. gay and straight. i'm very grateful i have them.

but a gay clique in my early life... that's what i didn't have. and i don't really know how much that matters, but i think there's a subtle difference between gay people who had a gay barkada growing up and those who didn't.

shigishigi December 7 2005, 08:17:19 UTC

I had a very Dawson's Creek-ish barkada, but with more whining and more sexual experimentation of the buttsex kind so I can't complain. I ended up being the only one who really ended up gay through and through though.

Even though they weren't gay, having straight friends back then who didn't mind made up for it all.

dalumat December 7 2005, 22:13:23 UTC

i envy you. really.

especially the buttsex experimentation with straight friends. hehe.

pandaemoneon December 7 2005, 09:20:33 UTC

come to think of it, i don't really have a circle of friends i could exclusively call barkada. in school or at work, i usually hover among different cliques, not really belonging to one particular group.

it's the set up grew accustomed to. i can't say i know for sure i know what it's like being part of a collective. at one point i will always drift apart and seek other company, or (mostly) keep to myself.

there's no point in this comment at all. all verbal masturbation. or if there was, i forgot all about it after the second sentence. but anyways, it would be good bumping into you one of these days and catch up with IRL kwento.

gamhanan December 7 2005, 09:51:07 UTC

uy, you know each other pala IRL. pictures, pictures :D

pandaemoneon December 8 2005, 06:30:29 UTC

haha. i made a promise i won't be posting any of his photos here. anyways, i don't think i've a photo of him with me, really. not anymore after the last great data wipeout from my hard drive.

bulong ko na lang sayo kung sino si dalumat IRL. *whisper, whisper*

gamhanan December 8 2005, 09:54:57 UTC

pag nagkita na lang tayo. kelan kaya yon. hahaha.

Thread 6

7dragon_zodiac December 7 2005, 16:51:25 UTC

Back in high school, I had my own gay barkada, and we were the loud type, parading our homosexuality through and through. The straight people around us joked about it, but it was okay with us because it's really who we are and we know that that's the way they accept us. We were the machismis kind, always talking, always sharing information, always on the top of who's who stories ( ... )

dalumat December 7 2005, 22:38:49 UTC

i guess i'll never know what it feels like to be a loud gay boy parading his sexuality in high school. i envy you in a way.

but i guess you're right. not having peers with whom to check the kind of homosexual i could become perhaps forced me to find myself on my own, to grow up as an individual, if you will, and maybe i'm stronger for it, or not, or just weirder. i became my own kind of gay.

why do you say you didn't grow up as a person with your gay barkada?

7dragon_zodiac December 10 2005, 07:59:35 UTC

Well, it's just my opinion of my experience. Parang all that hanging out with my gay group fostered was the growth toward the gay scene. True, I was learning how to play volleyball, how to immense myself in the arts, how to stay on top of the chismis how to trick straight men into submission, but my other aspects as a person weren't being catered, to the point that developing them were shunned.

Eventually, I decided that I didn't need them. I can still be gay without them, and I can be more of who I am without them. When I left the group, I felt more alive (and ironically more gay) than ever before. So now, when I meet gay groups, I find that I can more easily slip into different gay roles than they do, and I love to believe that I'm in a sense more disciplined, but then again, that could be the hubris talking.

dalumat December 11 2005, 13:24:17 UTC

why oh why did you cross out "how to trick straight men into submission"? that's the best lesson there is! haha.

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