No idea what I'm doing.
Title: Tainted Love
Author: Damagedx_x
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: R
Warning: Violence, adult themes, language. I think that's it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gerard, Frank, Mikey or any other famous person mentioned. I wish I did, but I don't.
Summary: Gerard tried to help Frank in every way he can, but it backfires.
‘No! Gerard, please? Please don’t do this!’ I screamed, dropping to my knees as the love of my life walked towards the door. He kept his back to me, his bag in his hand.
‘I don’t love you, Frank. I never did.’ He said in the same monotone voice he’d been using for a few days now.
‘I only stayed with you because I felt sorry for you.’
‘So you’re saying you’ve been lying to me for two years?’ I cried, hugging my chest as my heart ached. He nodded and opened the door, slamming it shut as he left. I fell to my side, sobs ripping from my chest. My whole body shook, my head spinning.
I could see the sky getting dark through the window but I didn’t move. My eyes wanted to close but I didn’t let them. I watched the black sky turn pink then blue.
By the time the sun was fully risen, my body was numb. My head felt empty and my heart heavy. My body had run out of fluid to produce tears but I still sobbed.
To someone else, this may have looked pathetic but Gerard was my life. As cheesy as it is, it was true. We’d been dating two years but I had loved him long before that. He was all I had in the world. My parents had died when I was four, leaving me with my aging grandparents. When I turned sixteen, they died as well. Grandma first, from cancer. Then Grandpa. I’d lived alone since then, I left school because I couldn’t afford to pay for it and groceries at the same time. I’d met Gerard on my first day of high school, he was the only one who spoke to me. I’d fallen for him in my second year and I never stopped loving him.
After I left school, Gerard came looking for me. He helped me a lot, staying with me through the nights while I cried. He sometimes helped pay my bills and groceries. Somewhere in the time frame, he fell (or so I thought) for me too. He moved in with me since I wouldn’t let him take me home with him and his family. Everything was perfect till a few days prior to the break up. He didn’t hold me while we slept, he didn’t join me in my morning shower, he didn’t kiss me goodbye before I went to work. He didn’t even tell me he loved me. Those tiny things made a huge difference to me.
As the sky darkened again, I slowly sat up. My stomach was aching from the lack of food, my bowel was about to burst and my head was about the same.
I slowly walked to the bathroom, avoiding the mirror.
After having used the toilet and shower, I went into the kitchen. There was more food in the pantry than expected. I was meant to go shopping the day before because we were running low.
I put it out of my mind and pulled out the bread. I wasn't in the mood for complicated things like cooking.
I slowly picked apart my sandwich, only eating little mouse-sized bites. My stomach was begging me for it but I couldn’t eat. While I picked the bread apart, my mobile rang and buzzed against my leg. I pulled it out, not really intending on answering it till I saw the name.
‘Hello?’ He muttered quietly.
‘Frank? Oh thank god! I’ve been calling you for two days!’ Mikey yelled, probably pacing around his room. Mikey was Gerard’s little brother. We became close friends over the years of me being at his house for family dinners and get-togethers.
‘What’s going on? Where’s Gerard?’ My heart faltered, almost stopping, as he said his name. I bit my lip, trying to stop a fresh wave of tears.
‘Frank? Did you hear me? My fucking brother is missing! Aren’t you worried too? What’s going on?’ So many questions, I thought. I sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a second then letting it out.
‘H-He… I-I… don’t know.’ I whispered, still trying to hold the water works back.
‘Frank, what’s going on? Seriously. I’ve called a billion times on both yours and Gerard’s phone. No-one answers! I was worried sick about you and I’m about to combust because I’m freaking out! WHERE IS MY BROTHER?!’ He roared down the phone. My head pounded and I let the tears fall.
‘He fucking left me! Are you happy?! I don’t know where he is! I didn’t answer because I was too busy crying two days away! FUCK!’ I threw the phone at the wall, picking it up again and stomping on it. I left the kitchen, storming into the lounge room.
Gerard’s paintings were still on the walls, his dirty clothes that none of us could be fucked picking up. Everywhere I went in the house was pieces of Gerard. His clothes, his shampoo. Even a used condom that was underneath our bed. It was an old condom, for a while we’d been having sex without protection. My heart was tearing again. I had to find somewhere his belongings weren’t. Then it hit me. The closet. He’d taken a bag when he left.
I opened the sliding doors, sitting in the place his suitcase had been. I let myself cry, scream and curse.
The days seemed to melt together. I wasn’t sure what day it was, what time it was. I hadn’t gone to work in a few days, I knew that much.
I’d managed to leave the closet for a few hours a day. It hurt so much to see his things. I didn’t want to touch them. They weren’t mine.
My phone had been ringing non-stop but I never answered it. On one particular day, I finally gave in and answered it.
‘H-Hello?’ I whispered, trying to stop my voice from breaking.
‘Frank! God damnit! Do you know how close I was to busting your door down? Let me in!’ Mikey yelled. I frowned at the phone. I hadn’t heard the front door at all. I hung up the phone, slowly padding to my front door. I unlatched the five locks and turned the handle. Mikey stood outside, leaning on the door frame. My heart plummeted to me stomach. Mikey looked so much like Gerard. They had nearly the same face, the same posture.
‘Oh, Frankie.’ Mikey cooed, wrapping his arms around my quivering form. I sobbed on his shoulder. He even smelt like Gerard, minus the cigarettes of course.
‘Come on, it’s okay. Sit down and talk.’ He said, leading me to the couch. I sat down, facing him with my legs crossed.
‘I l-love him, Mikey. I can’t live without him.’ I cried, gripping a cushion to my chest.
‘Don’t talk like that, Frankie. You stronger than that.’ He said softly, rubbing my arm gently. Comforting words were usually a natural thing for Mikey but I guess he was hurting too.
‘Tell me what he said when he left. Did he say where he was going?’ Mikey asked, biting his bottom lip. Another habit he and Gerard shared.
‘N-No. He said he never loved me. H-He said he lied ‘cause he felt s-sorry for me.’ I sobbed, trying to catch my breath. My heart was pounding a thousand miles an hour and my chest was starting to go numb from the pain.
‘That’s not liked Gerard though. He would never do that…’ Mikey said, more so to himself. I started to rock back and forth.
‘Come home with me, Frankie. You can’t stay here by yourself.’
‘I don’t want to leave.’ I whispered. I couldn’t leave my home. Though painful, I couldn’t bare leaving the memories.
‘Do you want me to stay here, then? I really don’t want you to be alone.’ Mikey asked, touching my knee. I nodded slowly. Maybe the company would help, I thought.
‘Have you eaten at all, Frankie? You look so much thinner.’
‘I can’t eat. I’m not hungry.’ I said. I pulled the pillow away from my chest, lifting my shirt up. I poked at my stomach. I could feel my ribs beneath my skin, something I could never do.
‘I’m bringing some food back with me, okay? You have to eat, Frankie. I’ll go get some things and I’ll be back. I won’t be long.’ He said, pecking my forehead. His kisses meant nothing but friendship, we’d already disclosed that.
‘Thank you, Mikey.’ I whispered. Mikey nodded then left, giving me a backwards glance as he closed the front door. I slowly got off the couch, walking down the hall and into the spare bedroom. Mikey would be sleeping in there since he wouldn’t share a bed with me. He also didn’t have to know I was sleeping in the closet. In a zombie-like state, I changed the sheets and pillow cases. They weren’t dirty but I felt the need to do something.
I wandered back into the lounge room, falling onto the couch with a thud. My eyes fluttered, closing before I could find the energy to keep them open. My brain slowly shut down, my thoughts being blocked as I drifted off into an exhausted sleep.
Somewhere in my subconscious, I could hear voices. I wasn’t sure if they were part of my dream-like state or from the outside world.
I jolted up at the sounds of a loud crashing noise. I brain scrambled, fighting the exhaustion. How long have I been asleep, I wondered. I was vaguely aware of someone grabbing my arms. It took my brain to process that I was being dragged from the couch about ten seconds. In that time, my kidnapper had already tied my hands together behind my back. Realization hit me.
‘Mikey! Get out!’ I screamed in the direction of the spare bedroom. I struggled against the person’s grip, trying to wiggle free. Didn’t so much as I got a back-hand to the side of my face then was gagged.
‘You listen to me, little prick. You are to keep quiet. Not a fuckin’ sound is to come from your mouth, got it? You’ll do as you’re told and we’ll maybe spare your life.’ The man hissed in my ear, tugging on the ropes that bound my hands together. I nodded quickly, trying to blink the tears from my eyes. I couldn’t see his face since he stood behind me.
From the corner of my eye, I saw another man by the kitchen bench. He wore a Shrek mask, which I would have laughed at if I wasn’t in such a serious situation. He was leant over my bench, writing something.
The man behind me pulled at my wrists, pulling me from my home. I tried to break from his hold as we entered the halls, hoping to at least alert some of the neighbors. The man quickly grabbed me, holding my bound wrists tightly in one hand while the other covered my gagged mouth. I stopped resisting then, finding no way out of the situation that didn’t involve me falling down twelve flights of stairs or having my neck snapped.
The man dragged me down the stairs and out into the cold Jersey air. I hadn’t realized how late it was. There was a beat up panel van parked on the curb. The side door was already open with five different men sitting inside. I choked on the gag as I was thrown in with the door sliding shut behind me. The men in the back grabbed me and tossed my weak body onto a pile of blankets. My body started trembling again. I was so scared.
‘Where’s ya boyfriend?’ One of the men snarled. He was wearing an Ironman mask. I tried to speak but the gag only allowed me to mumble. All the men shook their heads.
I jumped when another door slammed and the engine started. I fell back as the van started to move.
‘Drug him.’ Someone up front shouted. My eyes widened as I shook my head back and forth. I tried to tell them I’d be good but the gag was proving to be a nuisance.
A man wearing a Cinderella mask crawled up to me, a large needle in his hand. I used my feet to push myself back as far as the van walls would let me. The man snickered as he gripped a handful of my hair and jerked my head to the side to reveal my neck.
‘Bub-bye.’ He whispered before jabbing the needle point into my neck. I let out a blood curdling scream before my vision started to go blurry. I felt my body start to sway. I fell to the van floor, passing out the second my body was flat.
When I awoke my vision was still blurry. I blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the fogginess. I sat up, rubbing my eyes with the balls of my hands. I stopped suddenly, taking my hands away from my face. I wasn’t tied up anymore. I still couldn’t see that well but I could feel heavy chains around my wrists. My heart accelerated, why me? I thought.
‘Ah. The boy’s awake.’ A male voice said. I shuffled away from the voice, blinking rapidly.
‘We won’t hurt you, kid. All we want is your boyfriend and you can go free.’ The man said. I could just make out his bulky figure coming closer to me.
‘I-I don’t know where he is.’ I stammered, still shuffling away from the man. My back hit a wall and I groaned, nowhere to run.
‘Yes you do, boy. We won’t hurt him, we just need our money.’ He said, squatting down in front of me. The blurriness of my eyes was fading slowly. I could see the mask the man was wearing. Grumpy from the Seven Dwarves. Suited him.
‘What money?’ I asked in a small voice. I was confused. Why would Gerard owe these people money?
‘He never told you?’ I shook my head.
‘Ah, well this will be interesting. You see, your boyfriend borrowed money from us to pay for you. You’re the reason he’s in this mess.’ The man said, a sneer on his face. I shook my head faster.
‘No. Gerard wouldn’t do something like that. He’s not stupid!’ I yelled, pulling at the chains on my wrists.
‘Oh but he is. He owes us over one thousand dollars which he spent on you. Your home, your food, your bills.’ Grumpy, as I decided to call him, shoved his mask clad face closer to mine. His breath was horrible! I fought the urge to gag.
‘Someone must know where he is. We need that money, boy. Don’t make me change my mind about keeping you alive.’ Grumpy snarled. I cowered against the wall, nodding.
‘I-I might know someone…’ I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady as I lied straight into this guys face… mask.
‘Great! Stand up.’ He said, pulling on one of the chains. I slowly stood up, feeling more exposed and intimidated. Though I wasn’t very tall, this man towered over me easily. Possibly a six-footer, which scared me more. He pulled a key off his belt, shoving it roughly in the cuffs around my wrists. I rubbed my wrists once they were free, feeling the blisters starting to form over the irritated skin.
Grumpy grabbed my shoulder and pushed me down a hallway.
Whatever building we were in was made of cement. Floors, walls. Everything. I was shoved into a small room where a man wearing a Dora mask sat by a phone. Grumpy pushed me down on one of the chairs and sat the phone on my knees.
‘Don’t try to call for help.’ He warned me before leaving the room with Dora. I took the handset off the receiver and dialed Mikey’s number.
‘Hel-‘
‘Mikey, no time to talk, just listen. I’m in trouble. Gerard’s in trouble… Fuck. He owes some people money but they can’t find him. I don’t care what you do but you have to get a hold of him. Leave a message on his answering machine saying your mum’s dead, or something. They said they’re going to kill me if they don’t get the money soon. Please hurry, Mikes.’ I said as quickly as I could before hanging up then dialing an all too familiar number. The phone dialed out, as I expected.
“Hey, you’ve reached Gerard. Leave a message and I’ll maybe get back to you. Peace.” I sighed, waiting for the beep.
‘I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now but this is important. Whatever shit you got yourself in has come back on me! I don’t want to die, Gerard. Please, please help me and you’ll never have to see me again. P-Please.’ I whispered, sobbing silently down the phone.
I hung up before I could break down completely. I put the phone down on the floor and left the room. Grumpy and Dora were waiting outside, talking with Cinderella, Peter Pan and Abe Lincoln. I blinked a few times, trying to get my head straight. This all seemed to be one fucked up dream to me.
Grumpy turned to me, probably grinning under the mask.
‘Well?’
‘No-one knows where he is. His phone’s off and he’s left to clues.’ I stated bluntly.
‘You know, I’ve talked it over with the others and… we’ve decided you’re going to be our insurance policy. Peter will take you.’ He said, gesturing to Peter Pan. Peter was less intimidating. He was short and thin, unlike the others who seemed to be twice the size as me in all directions.
Peter placed his hand on my shoulder and led me into a large room. One wall had a white sheet taped across it with a chair in front. A small video camera sat on a table facing the chair. I gulped. I’d watched too many horror films to not know what was going to happen.
‘Take your shirt off.’ He said in a rough voice. I looked at him, waiting for him to start laughing or something. Nothing. I quickly obeyed, tossing my sweat-covered shirt to the floor.
Peter sat me down in the chair, tying my hand behind my back before gagging me. He walked over to the table, picking up a knife I hadn’t seen there before. He pressed a button on the camera then turned back to me. I stood behind me, pressing the blade of the knife to my bare chest.
‘We asked one simple thing, Gerard. You failed to deliver so your boy gets the punishment. You have forty-eight hours after this video is delivered to bring us the money before we kill the kid. Be wise.’ He said before dragging the sharp blade over my flesh. I bit down on the gag, screaming in pain. He repeated the actions a few more times till my chest was dripping with blood. The knife was brought to my throat.
‘Don’t mess up.’ Were the last words spoken as the red light stopped flashing on the camera. I kept my teeth clenched on the gag, fighting the urge to cry out.
Peter dropped the knife in a bucket that sat in the corner. He took the tiny tape from the camera and left the room.
I waited for, what seemed like, hours. The blood on my chest had dried and made it uncomfortable to breathe. I was sweating from the airless room and the gag in my mouth was sopping wet. The door finally swung open. Grumpy and Shrek came in, un-tying me and dragging my sore body out of the room. They carried me down the hall, tossing me into a room. There was a mattress on the ground, a toilet by a small window and a tiny sink. Nothing else. I curled up on the mattress, being careful not to touch the cuts. My head was pounding, my chest was aching and I could feel my heart breaking all over again.
Gerard wouldn’t save me, Mikey couldn’t save me. I didn’t know where I was. For all I knew, I was in Asia.
I cried myself to sleep. I was going to die, without a doubt in my mind.
‘Up! Get up now, boy!’ I jumped at the volume of Grumpy’s voice. My eyes cracked open, fighting against the bright light that came from the doorway. Grumpy stood near the end of my mattress with a tray of food. He placed it on the floor.
‘Eat.’ He ordered before closing the door. I sat up with great difficulty. The mattress was stiff as a board, causing my body to go rigid.
I pulled the tray into my lap, picking at the cold toast and funny looking eggs. I was almost afraid to eat it but being poisoned was less painful then being cut… right?
I managed to eat one slice of toast and about a table spoon of egg before tossing the tray to the ground. I stood up, stretching slightly.
I used the toilet, washing my hands in the sink. There was a rag on the edge, draping over. I took it and soaked it on water. I took a deep breath before running the wet cloth over my chest. The wounds needed to be cleaned, I didn’t want to have to live two more days with an infection.
After washing the blood from my chest, I dropped the rag into the sink. I had left my shirt in the other room, which I cursed myself for. It was so cold in that room.
I sat down on the mattress, thinking. Why would Gerard need to borrow money? I had a job. I paid half of the bills, sometimes all of them when I could afford to. We never spent that much money anyway. We never ate out, we never went to the movies. Our relationship was inside my apartment.
I sighed, falling back. There was no point in thinking about it. What was done, was done.
As I lay there, I ran my finger tips over the cuts. They’d scabbed over already.
There was a knock at the door before it opened. Peter stood there, a knife in his hand and a bottle of disinfectant in the other.
‘Thirty-eight hours. I hope, for your sake, you can get hold of your boyfriend.’ He said, tossing me the bottle. He closed the door with a backwards glance. I stared at the closed door for a while. Peter confused me. The others couldn’t care less if I died but Peter seemed to care.
I took the bottle from the floor and went back to the sink. I grabbed the rag I used before and doused it in the disinfectant. Though the wounds had scabbed over, it still stung like hell.
I cleaned myself up the best I could before dropping the foul-smelling rag into the sink. I ran the water, hoping to get rid of some of the smell. I hated any medical smell, being in a hospital for over five years does that to you.
The door opened again, this time, Grumpy came storming in. He grabbed my elbow and literally threw my out the door. I landed on my hands and knees. He gripped the top of my jeans, reefing me up to my feet.
‘Walk.’ He commanded. I did as I was told, walking with him back to the torture room, as I decided to call it.
On the table was the camera, an array of knives and my buzzing mobile.
‘Answer it. Do not ask for help.’ He hissed. I grabbed my phone, flipping it up.
‘H-Hello?’ I stuttered, feeling Grumpy’s eyes on my back.
‘Frankie? Oh my god! I’m so, so fucking sorry! Please listen. I only left you because I thought they’d leave you alone! I didn’t mean for this to happen. If I’d known they’d still come after you, I would have brought you with me.’ Gerard rambled, a hysterical edge to his voice. My breath caught in my throat.
‘I-I… I forgive you.’ I whispered, tears rolling down my face.
‘Do you know where you are?’ He asked.
‘N-No.’ I was trying hard not to scream for help. I couldn’t let Grumpy know I was talking to Gerard.
‘What do they look like, Frankie?’ He asked, keeping his voice low. Why he was whispering, I had no clue.
‘You know, I’ve always wanted a fairytale relationship. The magic, the fireworks. Even when I was a kid, I wanted that. Everyone would be a part of that dream, each with their own mask and part to play.’ I said, hoping he understood. I couldn’t think of another way to say it without tipping Grumpy off.
‘I don’t understand… Wait. Fairytale masks? Is that what you mean? Is someone there with you?’ He asked, his voice hitting an octave higher than normal.
‘Yes. Doesn’t it sound perfect?’ I gleamed. I heard feet shuffling so I looked over my shoulder. Grumpy was shifting his feet, huffing. I mouthed the word mum to him, hoping he’d get off my back.
‘Who’s there with you, Frankie?’ His voice was urgent. If he’d met these men, surely they would have changed their masks.
‘But I guess not everyone gets their happily ever after. Some get their heart broken and their ex turns into a grumpy old man.’ I said, letting the tears drip down my face freely. I heard Gerard sigh. I knew I hit a nerve there but I wasn’t all that concerned at that moment.
‘I’m going to help you, okay? Listen to me and don’t say a word. The man in the dwarf mask is dangerous. He’ll do more damage to you than all the others put together.’
‘Yeah, I know already.’ I sniffed.
‘I’m getting you out before they can hurt you. Keep your mouth shut till I get there, okay?’ He said, grinding his teeth. I could hear them over the phone.
‘No! Don’t!... You can’t do that.’ I cried, almost forgetting I wasn’t alone.
‘This is my fault, Frankie. I won’t let you take the fall for my mistakes. Just sit tight and be careful. I love you.’ He said, his voice wavering slightly.
‘I love you too.’ I whispered before the line went dead. I closed my phone, placing it on the table as I turned.
‘What was with all the fairytale shit?’ Grumpy asked, taking a firm grip on my shoulder again. No doubt I was going to be covered with bruises.
‘M-My cousin… she’s getting married and mum didn’t know how to theme the reception. She wanted to know how I’d have my wedding, if I were to get married.’ I lied, keeping my eyes on the floor. He grunted. He pulled me out the door, his hand still on my shoulder. I managed to grab my phone before I was dragged out the door. I was led back to my room, the door locking behind me.
I opened my phone, dialing Mikey’s number.
‘Frank? What the fuck?! What’s going on? You’re fucking scaring me!’ He yelled as he answered.
‘I don’t have much time, okay? I got hold of Gerard… Well, he rang me. Call him and tell him not to come. They’ll kill him. I wish I could explain but I don’t have enough time. I love you, Mikey. You’re basically the brother I never had. Tell Donna I love her too, and thank you for caring for me over the years. I have to go now… Take care of yourself.’ I said, hanging up.
I waited in my room for hours. I had hidden my phone in case they noticed it was missing and came looking for it. I paced the room, sat in the corner, washed my cuts and moved the mattress around for something to do.
It was already dark by the time someone got me. Shrek took me into the torture room, tying me to the chair. I closed my eyes, imagining myself anywhere but there.
Footsteps echoed around the room till Shrek took his place behind me.
‘We warned you. Twenty-four hours left, Gerard.’ Was all he said before slicing my chest and stomach. He didn’t gag me so my screams of pain echoed off the walls.
Shrek was worse the Peter. He cut deeper. By the time he was finished, there was a pool of blood around my feet.
‘Clean yourself up.’ He snarled as he untied me. He left the room, leaving me panting in the chair. I noticed the camera was still on.
‘Don’t come, Gerard. Please.’ I panted, tears rolling down my face like a flowing river. My vision started to go blurry again, bright little dots dancing around. I found myself on the floor, lying in my own blood. Most of my vision was obscured by those little dots. I tried blinking them away but once my eyes were closed, they wouldn’t open again. I fought against the fatigue. I knew if I fell into unconsciousness, I wasn’t going to wake up. I tried picking myself up, just to stay upright but I fell back down, finally falling back into the darkness.
My mind was racing while my body ached. I couldn’t see a thing. I was sure my eyes were open though. I could hear voices from a distance. I tried calling out but it seemed my mouth was as useless as my eyes.
‘Please wake up, Frankie. I need you.’ I heard someone cry faintly. The voice was one of an angel, sweet and silky though thick with tears. I fought against the darkness, trying to push myself towards the echoing voices.
‘You need to leave, sir. Visitors aren’t allowed.’ A feminine voice said. I tried to object. I didn’t want to be alone. As I tried to find my voice, things got louder. I could hear other voices, further away. A beeping noise that bothered me and whispers. Things also became brighter, first things were grey, then slightly pink-ish before everything went white. I felt as if I’d just broken the last layer of water, breathing heavily from deprivation.
There were gasps all around the room as I started choking from the dry air I has sucked into my needy lungs. I panicked as I coughed, making my chest sting. I tried to get up and move but something, or someone, was holding me down.
‘Frankie, calm down.’ The angel whispered in my ear. I stopped trying to get up, stopping all movements. I turned my head, still panting. Gerard stood by my bedside, tears running down his face.
‘You’re safe, baby. Just relax.’ He cooed, stroking my face. He was careful not to touch the breathing tube that was under my nose.
‘Where are we?’ I whispered, my throat slightly hurting from my coughing fit.
‘The hospital, baby. We thought you were dead when we saw the video.’ He said, more tears slipping down his pale face.
‘How long have I been in here?’ I asked, slightly confused.
‘A few hours. It’s okay, everything’s settled now.’ He said, slowly sitting in the chair by my bedside. He twinned his fingers with mine, running his thumb over the back of my hand.
‘No… I don’t… The tape.’ I stammered, unable to finish one sentence.
‘The tapes were for them to watch. There was a live feed to my phone.’ He said, his face creasing. I let go of his hand, wiping his tears away.
‘It’s over now.’ I said, gripping his face. He truly was an angel. My guardian angel.
‘I know… Can you forgive me?’ He asked, laying his hand over mine. I thought about it for a second. Could I forgive him? He was the reason I was in that hospital bed, cut up and possibly infected.
‘Of course.’ I said, sitting up. I leant down, slowly kissing his lips. I tried to press up against him but he pushed me back by my shoulders.
‘You’re hurt, Frankie.’ He whispered, his eyes dropping to the floor.
‘Lay with me.’ I whispered, pulling on his hand softly. He looked up into my eyes, seeing that I wasn’t going to let him say no. I shuffled to the edge of the small hospital bed as he crawled into it. I wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my head on his chest. Only then did I realize Donna and Mikey were in the room. I smiled to them as they stood in the doorway.
‘It’s good to see you have patched things up. How are you feeling, Frank?’ Donna asked, sitting in the chair Gerard had occupied.
‘A lot better, thank you.’ I whispered, mewling against Gerard’s chest. He sighed, wrapping his arms around me.
‘I talked to the doctors and they said you can go home sometime today. They just want to check you for any infections and make sure the stitches won’t pop out.’ She said, smiling to me. I looked at her, waiting for her to say she was kidding.
‘S-Stitches?’ I asked. Someone could have told me, I thought.
‘One of the cuts was deep, too deep to close on its own.’ She said, patting my shoulder sympathetically. I un-wrapped an arm from Gerard and probed my chest and stomach. I sat up, lifting my gown up. Scars, scabs and stitches littered my torso. One cut, from my shoulder down to my belly button, was stitched. I wanted to cry. Scars made you ugly, and now I had a whole upper-body worth of ugly.
Gerard sat up with me, taking hold of my wrists to the gown fell. I looked up to his face, tears threatening to fall.
‘It’s okay, baby. Don’t cry.’ He whispered, pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, not even worrying about the pain shooting through my chest.
After the tears had stopped and I was back to resting with Gerard, the doctor came in. He checked my wounds, poking and prodding my entire torso. He wrapped me up with gauze and a large bandage, just to keep any shirt fibers or dirt out of the cuts.
‘You’re right to go, Mr. Iero.’ He smiled. Donna signed the release forms. Mikey had brought some of my clothes so I got changed out of the stupid hospital gown. I was careful not bump my stomach as I pulled a loose shirt on. I met everyone in the hallway and Gerard carried me to his car. I didn’t mind.
‘Gerard, you take care of him, you hear? I’ll gladly beat your arse if I find he’s been hurt again.’ Donna said, pointing at Gerard as she glared. He’d already sat me in the passenger seat.
‘Yes, ma’am.’ He said, saluting her. I giggled in my seat. Gerard got in the driver’s seat, waving to his family.
It wasn’t that long a drive to the apartment though it felt like forever with the silence. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I’d never been awkward around Gerard. I’d already forgiven him but I didn’t know what the problem was.
Gerard parked in the space designated for my apartment. He turned to me, taking my hand that rested on the consol.
‘We have to talk about this.’ He said, squeezing my hand. I nodded, staring at me shoes.
‘I know.’ I jumped out of the car, walking towards the front door. I slid my hands in my jean pockets. I really had lost a lot of weight. Those jeans had been sort of tight on me before Gerard left.
I climbed the stairs to my apartment, opening the door. It wasn’t locked but I wasn’t all that concerned. I looked around, actually appreciating what I had. It wasn’t much but it was mine.
Gerard came through the door, closing and locking it behind him. I was still standing in the lounge room doorway, taking everything in. He dropped my bag on the floor, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. He hooked his chin over my shoulder, resting against me.
‘Are you ready to talk?’ He asked, his hands making circles on my lower stomach. I nodded slowly, breaking from my stares.
We sat on the couch. Gerard was half laying with his back on the arm while I rested between his legs, my head resting on his shoulder.
‘Why’d you do it?’ I whispered, playing feebly with a loose thread that was on my shirt.
‘I wanted to help you as much as I could… but that wasn’t enough for me. I just wanted you to be happy, baby.’ He said, slowly twirling his fingers through my hair. I nodded, unsure of what to say.
‘Are you mad at me?’ He asked.
‘No.’ I stated simply. I wasn’t mad, just unsure.
‘Don’t lie to me, Frank. Usually you have something to say.’ He begged. I slowly lifted myself off him, only to turn around and lean down, my face inches from his.
‘That’s just it. I don’t have anything to say. I don’t know what to say. I know that I love you, I know that what you did was stupid but I also know that you were trying to help. I could never stay mad at you, Gerard. You’re all I have and I’m not letting you go.’ I whispered, touching his face gently.
‘I don’t want you to let me go.’ He whispered, slowly pecking my lips. I grinned, leaning into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, crushing my body against his. I ignored the pains in my chest, just focusing on Gerard.
‘Mmm… Stop.’ He mumbled against my lips. I gave him one last long hard kiss before pushing myself up.
‘I’m gonna have a shower… Wanna join me?’ I winked, still leaning over him.
‘You’re hurt, Frankie. I don’t want to cause you pain.’ He said, frowning up at me.
‘Fine. But it’s your loss.’ I giggled, getting off the couch. I skipped down the hallway and turned into the bathroom. I turned the taps to the shower on, letting the water warm up. While I undressed, I remembered something. I grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped It around my waist. I ran out to the lounge room, diving on top of Gerard. He jumped, hitting his head on the arm of the couch.
‘Thought I’d tell you, I found a used condom under the bed… It’s yours.’ I giggled, jumping off his again. As I walked away, he grabbed the top of the towel, pulling me back.
‘How do you know it’s mine?’ He asked, lifting his eyebrows.
‘It’s pink.’ I whispered in his ear, licking the shell before running back to the shower. I could hear Gerard laughing. The man loved his pink condoms.
Author: Damagedx_x
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: R
Warning: Violence, adult themes, language. I think that's it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gerard, Frank, Mikey or any other famous person mentioned. I wish I did, but I don't.
Summary: Gerard tried to help Frank in every way he can, but it backfires.
‘No! Gerard, please? Please don’t do this!’ I screamed, dropping to my knees as the love of my life walked towards the door. He kept his back to me, his bag in his hand.
‘I don’t love you, Frank. I never did.’ He said in the same monotone voice he’d been using for a few days now.
‘I only stayed with you because I felt sorry for you.’
‘So you’re saying you’ve been lying to me for two years?’ I cried, hugging my chest as my heart ached. He nodded and opened the door, slamming it shut as he left. I fell to my side, sobs ripping from my chest. My whole body shook, my head spinning.
I could see the sky getting dark through the window but I didn’t move. My eyes wanted to close but I didn’t let them. I watched the black sky turn pink then blue.
By the time the sun was fully risen, my body was numb. My head felt empty and my heart heavy. My body had run out of fluid to produce tears but I still sobbed.
To someone else, this may have looked pathetic but Gerard was my life. As cheesy as it is, it was true. We’d been dating two years but I had loved him long before that. He was all I had in the world. My parents had died when I was four, leaving me with my aging grandparents. When I turned sixteen, they died as well. Grandma first, from cancer. Then Grandpa. I’d lived alone since then, I left school because I couldn’t afford to pay for it and groceries at the same time. I’d met Gerard on my first day of high school, he was the only one who spoke to me. I’d fallen for him in my second year and I never stopped loving him.
After I left school, Gerard came looking for me. He helped me a lot, staying with me through the nights while I cried. He sometimes helped pay my bills and groceries. Somewhere in the time frame, he fell (or so I thought) for me too. He moved in with me since I wouldn’t let him take me home with him and his family. Everything was perfect till a few days prior to the break up. He didn’t hold me while we slept, he didn’t join me in my morning shower, he didn’t kiss me goodbye before I went to work. He didn’t even tell me he loved me. Those tiny things made a huge difference to me.
As the sky darkened again, I slowly sat up. My stomach was aching from the lack of food, my bowel was about to burst and my head was about the same.
I slowly walked to the bathroom, avoiding the mirror.
After having used the toilet and shower, I went into the kitchen. There was more food in the pantry than expected. I was meant to go shopping the day before because we were running low.
I put it out of my mind and pulled out the bread. I wasn't in the mood for complicated things like cooking.
I slowly picked apart my sandwich, only eating little mouse-sized bites. My stomach was begging me for it but I couldn’t eat. While I picked the bread apart, my mobile rang and buzzed against my leg. I pulled it out, not really intending on answering it till I saw the name.
‘Hello?’ He muttered quietly.
‘Frank? Oh thank god! I’ve been calling you for two days!’ Mikey yelled, probably pacing around his room. Mikey was Gerard’s little brother. We became close friends over the years of me being at his house for family dinners and get-togethers.
‘What’s going on? Where’s Gerard?’ My heart faltered, almost stopping, as he said his name. I bit my lip, trying to stop a fresh wave of tears.
‘Frank? Did you hear me? My fucking brother is missing! Aren’t you worried too? What’s going on?’ So many questions, I thought. I sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a second then letting it out.
‘H-He… I-I… don’t know.’ I whispered, still trying to hold the water works back.
‘Frank, what’s going on? Seriously. I’ve called a billion times on both yours and Gerard’s phone. No-one answers! I was worried sick about you and I’m about to combust because I’m freaking out! WHERE IS MY BROTHER?!’ He roared down the phone. My head pounded and I let the tears fall.
‘He fucking left me! Are you happy?! I don’t know where he is! I didn’t answer because I was too busy crying two days away! FUCK!’ I threw the phone at the wall, picking it up again and stomping on it. I left the kitchen, storming into the lounge room.
Gerard’s paintings were still on the walls, his dirty clothes that none of us could be fucked picking up. Everywhere I went in the house was pieces of Gerard. His clothes, his shampoo. Even a used condom that was underneath our bed. It was an old condom, for a while we’d been having sex without protection. My heart was tearing again. I had to find somewhere his belongings weren’t. Then it hit me. The closet. He’d taken a bag when he left.
I opened the sliding doors, sitting in the place his suitcase had been. I let myself cry, scream and curse.
The days seemed to melt together. I wasn’t sure what day it was, what time it was. I hadn’t gone to work in a few days, I knew that much.
I’d managed to leave the closet for a few hours a day. It hurt so much to see his things. I didn’t want to touch them. They weren’t mine.
My phone had been ringing non-stop but I never answered it. On one particular day, I finally gave in and answered it.
‘H-Hello?’ I whispered, trying to stop my voice from breaking.
‘Frank! God damnit! Do you know how close I was to busting your door down? Let me in!’ Mikey yelled. I frowned at the phone. I hadn’t heard the front door at all. I hung up the phone, slowly padding to my front door. I unlatched the five locks and turned the handle. Mikey stood outside, leaning on the door frame. My heart plummeted to me stomach. Mikey looked so much like Gerard. They had nearly the same face, the same posture.
‘Oh, Frankie.’ Mikey cooed, wrapping his arms around my quivering form. I sobbed on his shoulder. He even smelt like Gerard, minus the cigarettes of course.
‘Come on, it’s okay. Sit down and talk.’ He said, leading me to the couch. I sat down, facing him with my legs crossed.
‘I l-love him, Mikey. I can’t live without him.’ I cried, gripping a cushion to my chest.
‘Don’t talk like that, Frankie. You stronger than that.’ He said softly, rubbing my arm gently. Comforting words were usually a natural thing for Mikey but I guess he was hurting too.
‘Tell me what he said when he left. Did he say where he was going?’ Mikey asked, biting his bottom lip. Another habit he and Gerard shared.
‘N-No. He said he never loved me. H-He said he lied ‘cause he felt s-sorry for me.’ I sobbed, trying to catch my breath. My heart was pounding a thousand miles an hour and my chest was starting to go numb from the pain.
‘That’s not liked Gerard though. He would never do that…’ Mikey said, more so to himself. I started to rock back and forth.
‘Come home with me, Frankie. You can’t stay here by yourself.’
‘I don’t want to leave.’ I whispered. I couldn’t leave my home. Though painful, I couldn’t bare leaving the memories.
‘Do you want me to stay here, then? I really don’t want you to be alone.’ Mikey asked, touching my knee. I nodded slowly. Maybe the company would help, I thought.
‘Have you eaten at all, Frankie? You look so much thinner.’
‘I can’t eat. I’m not hungry.’ I said. I pulled the pillow away from my chest, lifting my shirt up. I poked at my stomach. I could feel my ribs beneath my skin, something I could never do.
‘I’m bringing some food back with me, okay? You have to eat, Frankie. I’ll go get some things and I’ll be back. I won’t be long.’ He said, pecking my forehead. His kisses meant nothing but friendship, we’d already disclosed that.
‘Thank you, Mikey.’ I whispered. Mikey nodded then left, giving me a backwards glance as he closed the front door. I slowly got off the couch, walking down the hall and into the spare bedroom. Mikey would be sleeping in there since he wouldn’t share a bed with me. He also didn’t have to know I was sleeping in the closet. In a zombie-like state, I changed the sheets and pillow cases. They weren’t dirty but I felt the need to do something.
I wandered back into the lounge room, falling onto the couch with a thud. My eyes fluttered, closing before I could find the energy to keep them open. My brain slowly shut down, my thoughts being blocked as I drifted off into an exhausted sleep.
Somewhere in my subconscious, I could hear voices. I wasn’t sure if they were part of my dream-like state or from the outside world.
I jolted up at the sounds of a loud crashing noise. I brain scrambled, fighting the exhaustion. How long have I been asleep, I wondered. I was vaguely aware of someone grabbing my arms. It took my brain to process that I was being dragged from the couch about ten seconds. In that time, my kidnapper had already tied my hands together behind my back. Realization hit me.
‘Mikey! Get out!’ I screamed in the direction of the spare bedroom. I struggled against the person’s grip, trying to wiggle free. Didn’t so much as I got a back-hand to the side of my face then was gagged.
‘You listen to me, little prick. You are to keep quiet. Not a fuckin’ sound is to come from your mouth, got it? You’ll do as you’re told and we’ll maybe spare your life.’ The man hissed in my ear, tugging on the ropes that bound my hands together. I nodded quickly, trying to blink the tears from my eyes. I couldn’t see his face since he stood behind me.
From the corner of my eye, I saw another man by the kitchen bench. He wore a Shrek mask, which I would have laughed at if I wasn’t in such a serious situation. He was leant over my bench, writing something.
The man behind me pulled at my wrists, pulling me from my home. I tried to break from his hold as we entered the halls, hoping to at least alert some of the neighbors. The man quickly grabbed me, holding my bound wrists tightly in one hand while the other covered my gagged mouth. I stopped resisting then, finding no way out of the situation that didn’t involve me falling down twelve flights of stairs or having my neck snapped.
The man dragged me down the stairs and out into the cold Jersey air. I hadn’t realized how late it was. There was a beat up panel van parked on the curb. The side door was already open with five different men sitting inside. I choked on the gag as I was thrown in with the door sliding shut behind me. The men in the back grabbed me and tossed my weak body onto a pile of blankets. My body started trembling again. I was so scared.
‘Where’s ya boyfriend?’ One of the men snarled. He was wearing an Ironman mask. I tried to speak but the gag only allowed me to mumble. All the men shook their heads.
I jumped when another door slammed and the engine started. I fell back as the van started to move.
‘Drug him.’ Someone up front shouted. My eyes widened as I shook my head back and forth. I tried to tell them I’d be good but the gag was proving to be a nuisance.
A man wearing a Cinderella mask crawled up to me, a large needle in his hand. I used my feet to push myself back as far as the van walls would let me. The man snickered as he gripped a handful of my hair and jerked my head to the side to reveal my neck.
‘Bub-bye.’ He whispered before jabbing the needle point into my neck. I let out a blood curdling scream before my vision started to go blurry. I felt my body start to sway. I fell to the van floor, passing out the second my body was flat.
When I awoke my vision was still blurry. I blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the fogginess. I sat up, rubbing my eyes with the balls of my hands. I stopped suddenly, taking my hands away from my face. I wasn’t tied up anymore. I still couldn’t see that well but I could feel heavy chains around my wrists. My heart accelerated, why me? I thought.
‘Ah. The boy’s awake.’ A male voice said. I shuffled away from the voice, blinking rapidly.
‘We won’t hurt you, kid. All we want is your boyfriend and you can go free.’ The man said. I could just make out his bulky figure coming closer to me.
‘I-I don’t know where he is.’ I stammered, still shuffling away from the man. My back hit a wall and I groaned, nowhere to run.
‘Yes you do, boy. We won’t hurt him, we just need our money.’ He said, squatting down in front of me. The blurriness of my eyes was fading slowly. I could see the mask the man was wearing. Grumpy from the Seven Dwarves. Suited him.
‘What money?’ I asked in a small voice. I was confused. Why would Gerard owe these people money?
‘He never told you?’ I shook my head.
‘Ah, well this will be interesting. You see, your boyfriend borrowed money from us to pay for you. You’re the reason he’s in this mess.’ The man said, a sneer on his face. I shook my head faster.
‘No. Gerard wouldn’t do something like that. He’s not stupid!’ I yelled, pulling at the chains on my wrists.
‘Oh but he is. He owes us over one thousand dollars which he spent on you. Your home, your food, your bills.’ Grumpy, as I decided to call him, shoved his mask clad face closer to mine. His breath was horrible! I fought the urge to gag.
‘Someone must know where he is. We need that money, boy. Don’t make me change my mind about keeping you alive.’ Grumpy snarled. I cowered against the wall, nodding.
‘I-I might know someone…’ I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady as I lied straight into this guys face… mask.
‘Great! Stand up.’ He said, pulling on one of the chains. I slowly stood up, feeling more exposed and intimidated. Though I wasn’t very tall, this man towered over me easily. Possibly a six-footer, which scared me more. He pulled a key off his belt, shoving it roughly in the cuffs around my wrists. I rubbed my wrists once they were free, feeling the blisters starting to form over the irritated skin.
Grumpy grabbed my shoulder and pushed me down a hallway.
Whatever building we were in was made of cement. Floors, walls. Everything. I was shoved into a small room where a man wearing a Dora mask sat by a phone. Grumpy pushed me down on one of the chairs and sat the phone on my knees.
‘Don’t try to call for help.’ He warned me before leaving the room with Dora. I took the handset off the receiver and dialed Mikey’s number.
‘Hel-‘
‘Mikey, no time to talk, just listen. I’m in trouble. Gerard’s in trouble… Fuck. He owes some people money but they can’t find him. I don’t care what you do but you have to get a hold of him. Leave a message on his answering machine saying your mum’s dead, or something. They said they’re going to kill me if they don’t get the money soon. Please hurry, Mikes.’ I said as quickly as I could before hanging up then dialing an all too familiar number. The phone dialed out, as I expected.
“Hey, you’ve reached Gerard. Leave a message and I’ll maybe get back to you. Peace.” I sighed, waiting for the beep.
‘I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now but this is important. Whatever shit you got yourself in has come back on me! I don’t want to die, Gerard. Please, please help me and you’ll never have to see me again. P-Please.’ I whispered, sobbing silently down the phone.
I hung up before I could break down completely. I put the phone down on the floor and left the room. Grumpy and Dora were waiting outside, talking with Cinderella, Peter Pan and Abe Lincoln. I blinked a few times, trying to get my head straight. This all seemed to be one fucked up dream to me.
Grumpy turned to me, probably grinning under the mask.
‘Well?’
‘No-one knows where he is. His phone’s off and he’s left to clues.’ I stated bluntly.
‘You know, I’ve talked it over with the others and… we’ve decided you’re going to be our insurance policy. Peter will take you.’ He said, gesturing to Peter Pan. Peter was less intimidating. He was short and thin, unlike the others who seemed to be twice the size as me in all directions.
Peter placed his hand on my shoulder and led me into a large room. One wall had a white sheet taped across it with a chair in front. A small video camera sat on a table facing the chair. I gulped. I’d watched too many horror films to not know what was going to happen.
‘Take your shirt off.’ He said in a rough voice. I looked at him, waiting for him to start laughing or something. Nothing. I quickly obeyed, tossing my sweat-covered shirt to the floor.
Peter sat me down in the chair, tying my hand behind my back before gagging me. He walked over to the table, picking up a knife I hadn’t seen there before. He pressed a button on the camera then turned back to me. I stood behind me, pressing the blade of the knife to my bare chest.
‘We asked one simple thing, Gerard. You failed to deliver so your boy gets the punishment. You have forty-eight hours after this video is delivered to bring us the money before we kill the kid. Be wise.’ He said before dragging the sharp blade over my flesh. I bit down on the gag, screaming in pain. He repeated the actions a few more times till my chest was dripping with blood. The knife was brought to my throat.
‘Don’t mess up.’ Were the last words spoken as the red light stopped flashing on the camera. I kept my teeth clenched on the gag, fighting the urge to cry out.
Peter dropped the knife in a bucket that sat in the corner. He took the tiny tape from the camera and left the room.
I waited for, what seemed like, hours. The blood on my chest had dried and made it uncomfortable to breathe. I was sweating from the airless room and the gag in my mouth was sopping wet. The door finally swung open. Grumpy and Shrek came in, un-tying me and dragging my sore body out of the room. They carried me down the hall, tossing me into a room. There was a mattress on the ground, a toilet by a small window and a tiny sink. Nothing else. I curled up on the mattress, being careful not to touch the cuts. My head was pounding, my chest was aching and I could feel my heart breaking all over again.
Gerard wouldn’t save me, Mikey couldn’t save me. I didn’t know where I was. For all I knew, I was in Asia.
I cried myself to sleep. I was going to die, without a doubt in my mind.
‘Up! Get up now, boy!’ I jumped at the volume of Grumpy’s voice. My eyes cracked open, fighting against the bright light that came from the doorway. Grumpy stood near the end of my mattress with a tray of food. He placed it on the floor.
‘Eat.’ He ordered before closing the door. I sat up with great difficulty. The mattress was stiff as a board, causing my body to go rigid.
I pulled the tray into my lap, picking at the cold toast and funny looking eggs. I was almost afraid to eat it but being poisoned was less painful then being cut… right?
I managed to eat one slice of toast and about a table spoon of egg before tossing the tray to the ground. I stood up, stretching slightly.
I used the toilet, washing my hands in the sink. There was a rag on the edge, draping over. I took it and soaked it on water. I took a deep breath before running the wet cloth over my chest. The wounds needed to be cleaned, I didn’t want to have to live two more days with an infection.
After washing the blood from my chest, I dropped the rag into the sink. I had left my shirt in the other room, which I cursed myself for. It was so cold in that room.
I sat down on the mattress, thinking. Why would Gerard need to borrow money? I had a job. I paid half of the bills, sometimes all of them when I could afford to. We never spent that much money anyway. We never ate out, we never went to the movies. Our relationship was inside my apartment.
I sighed, falling back. There was no point in thinking about it. What was done, was done.
As I lay there, I ran my finger tips over the cuts. They’d scabbed over already.
There was a knock at the door before it opened. Peter stood there, a knife in his hand and a bottle of disinfectant in the other.
‘Thirty-eight hours. I hope, for your sake, you can get hold of your boyfriend.’ He said, tossing me the bottle. He closed the door with a backwards glance. I stared at the closed door for a while. Peter confused me. The others couldn’t care less if I died but Peter seemed to care.
I took the bottle from the floor and went back to the sink. I grabbed the rag I used before and doused it in the disinfectant. Though the wounds had scabbed over, it still stung like hell.
I cleaned myself up the best I could before dropping the foul-smelling rag into the sink. I ran the water, hoping to get rid of some of the smell. I hated any medical smell, being in a hospital for over five years does that to you.
The door opened again, this time, Grumpy came storming in. He grabbed my elbow and literally threw my out the door. I landed on my hands and knees. He gripped the top of my jeans, reefing me up to my feet.
‘Walk.’ He commanded. I did as I was told, walking with him back to the torture room, as I decided to call it.
On the table was the camera, an array of knives and my buzzing mobile.
‘Answer it. Do not ask for help.’ He hissed. I grabbed my phone, flipping it up.
‘H-Hello?’ I stuttered, feeling Grumpy’s eyes on my back.
‘Frankie? Oh my god! I’m so, so fucking sorry! Please listen. I only left you because I thought they’d leave you alone! I didn’t mean for this to happen. If I’d known they’d still come after you, I would have brought you with me.’ Gerard rambled, a hysterical edge to his voice. My breath caught in my throat.
‘I-I… I forgive you.’ I whispered, tears rolling down my face.
‘Do you know where you are?’ He asked.
‘N-No.’ I was trying hard not to scream for help. I couldn’t let Grumpy know I was talking to Gerard.
‘What do they look like, Frankie?’ He asked, keeping his voice low. Why he was whispering, I had no clue.
‘You know, I’ve always wanted a fairytale relationship. The magic, the fireworks. Even when I was a kid, I wanted that. Everyone would be a part of that dream, each with their own mask and part to play.’ I said, hoping he understood. I couldn’t think of another way to say it without tipping Grumpy off.
‘I don’t understand… Wait. Fairytale masks? Is that what you mean? Is someone there with you?’ He asked, his voice hitting an octave higher than normal.
‘Yes. Doesn’t it sound perfect?’ I gleamed. I heard feet shuffling so I looked over my shoulder. Grumpy was shifting his feet, huffing. I mouthed the word mum to him, hoping he’d get off my back.
‘Who’s there with you, Frankie?’ His voice was urgent. If he’d met these men, surely they would have changed their masks.
‘But I guess not everyone gets their happily ever after. Some get their heart broken and their ex turns into a grumpy old man.’ I said, letting the tears drip down my face freely. I heard Gerard sigh. I knew I hit a nerve there but I wasn’t all that concerned at that moment.
‘I’m going to help you, okay? Listen to me and don’t say a word. The man in the dwarf mask is dangerous. He’ll do more damage to you than all the others put together.’
‘Yeah, I know already.’ I sniffed.
‘I’m getting you out before they can hurt you. Keep your mouth shut till I get there, okay?’ He said, grinding his teeth. I could hear them over the phone.
‘No! Don’t!... You can’t do that.’ I cried, almost forgetting I wasn’t alone.
‘This is my fault, Frankie. I won’t let you take the fall for my mistakes. Just sit tight and be careful. I love you.’ He said, his voice wavering slightly.
‘I love you too.’ I whispered before the line went dead. I closed my phone, placing it on the table as I turned.
‘What was with all the fairytale shit?’ Grumpy asked, taking a firm grip on my shoulder again. No doubt I was going to be covered with bruises.
‘M-My cousin… she’s getting married and mum didn’t know how to theme the reception. She wanted to know how I’d have my wedding, if I were to get married.’ I lied, keeping my eyes on the floor. He grunted. He pulled me out the door, his hand still on my shoulder. I managed to grab my phone before I was dragged out the door. I was led back to my room, the door locking behind me.
I opened my phone, dialing Mikey’s number.
‘Frank? What the fuck?! What’s going on? You’re fucking scaring me!’ He yelled as he answered.
‘I don’t have much time, okay? I got hold of Gerard… Well, he rang me. Call him and tell him not to come. They’ll kill him. I wish I could explain but I don’t have enough time. I love you, Mikey. You’re basically the brother I never had. Tell Donna I love her too, and thank you for caring for me over the years. I have to go now… Take care of yourself.’ I said, hanging up.
I waited in my room for hours. I had hidden my phone in case they noticed it was missing and came looking for it. I paced the room, sat in the corner, washed my cuts and moved the mattress around for something to do.
It was already dark by the time someone got me. Shrek took me into the torture room, tying me to the chair. I closed my eyes, imagining myself anywhere but there.
Footsteps echoed around the room till Shrek took his place behind me.
‘We warned you. Twenty-four hours left, Gerard.’ Was all he said before slicing my chest and stomach. He didn’t gag me so my screams of pain echoed off the walls.
Shrek was worse the Peter. He cut deeper. By the time he was finished, there was a pool of blood around my feet.
‘Clean yourself up.’ He snarled as he untied me. He left the room, leaving me panting in the chair. I noticed the camera was still on.
‘Don’t come, Gerard. Please.’ I panted, tears rolling down my face like a flowing river. My vision started to go blurry again, bright little dots dancing around. I found myself on the floor, lying in my own blood. Most of my vision was obscured by those little dots. I tried blinking them away but once my eyes were closed, they wouldn’t open again. I fought against the fatigue. I knew if I fell into unconsciousness, I wasn’t going to wake up. I tried picking myself up, just to stay upright but I fell back down, finally falling back into the darkness.
My mind was racing while my body ached. I couldn’t see a thing. I was sure my eyes were open though. I could hear voices from a distance. I tried calling out but it seemed my mouth was as useless as my eyes.
‘Please wake up, Frankie. I need you.’ I heard someone cry faintly. The voice was one of an angel, sweet and silky though thick with tears. I fought against the darkness, trying to push myself towards the echoing voices.
‘You need to leave, sir. Visitors aren’t allowed.’ A feminine voice said. I tried to object. I didn’t want to be alone. As I tried to find my voice, things got louder. I could hear other voices, further away. A beeping noise that bothered me and whispers. Things also became brighter, first things were grey, then slightly pink-ish before everything went white. I felt as if I’d just broken the last layer of water, breathing heavily from deprivation.
There were gasps all around the room as I started choking from the dry air I has sucked into my needy lungs. I panicked as I coughed, making my chest sting. I tried to get up and move but something, or someone, was holding me down.
‘Frankie, calm down.’ The angel whispered in my ear. I stopped trying to get up, stopping all movements. I turned my head, still panting. Gerard stood by my bedside, tears running down his face.
‘You’re safe, baby. Just relax.’ He cooed, stroking my face. He was careful not to touch the breathing tube that was under my nose.
‘Where are we?’ I whispered, my throat slightly hurting from my coughing fit.
‘The hospital, baby. We thought you were dead when we saw the video.’ He said, more tears slipping down his pale face.
‘How long have I been in here?’ I asked, slightly confused.
‘A few hours. It’s okay, everything’s settled now.’ He said, slowly sitting in the chair by my bedside. He twinned his fingers with mine, running his thumb over the back of my hand.
‘No… I don’t… The tape.’ I stammered, unable to finish one sentence.
‘The tapes were for them to watch. There was a live feed to my phone.’ He said, his face creasing. I let go of his hand, wiping his tears away.
‘It’s over now.’ I said, gripping his face. He truly was an angel. My guardian angel.
‘I know… Can you forgive me?’ He asked, laying his hand over mine. I thought about it for a second. Could I forgive him? He was the reason I was in that hospital bed, cut up and possibly infected.
‘Of course.’ I said, sitting up. I leant down, slowly kissing his lips. I tried to press up against him but he pushed me back by my shoulders.
‘You’re hurt, Frankie.’ He whispered, his eyes dropping to the floor.
‘Lay with me.’ I whispered, pulling on his hand softly. He looked up into my eyes, seeing that I wasn’t going to let him say no. I shuffled to the edge of the small hospital bed as he crawled into it. I wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my head on his chest. Only then did I realize Donna and Mikey were in the room. I smiled to them as they stood in the doorway.
‘It’s good to see you have patched things up. How are you feeling, Frank?’ Donna asked, sitting in the chair Gerard had occupied.
‘A lot better, thank you.’ I whispered, mewling against Gerard’s chest. He sighed, wrapping his arms around me.
‘I talked to the doctors and they said you can go home sometime today. They just want to check you for any infections and make sure the stitches won’t pop out.’ She said, smiling to me. I looked at her, waiting for her to say she was kidding.
‘S-Stitches?’ I asked. Someone could have told me, I thought.
‘One of the cuts was deep, too deep to close on its own.’ She said, patting my shoulder sympathetically. I un-wrapped an arm from Gerard and probed my chest and stomach. I sat up, lifting my gown up. Scars, scabs and stitches littered my torso. One cut, from my shoulder down to my belly button, was stitched. I wanted to cry. Scars made you ugly, and now I had a whole upper-body worth of ugly.
Gerard sat up with me, taking hold of my wrists to the gown fell. I looked up to his face, tears threatening to fall.
‘It’s okay, baby. Don’t cry.’ He whispered, pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, not even worrying about the pain shooting through my chest.
After the tears had stopped and I was back to resting with Gerard, the doctor came in. He checked my wounds, poking and prodding my entire torso. He wrapped me up with gauze and a large bandage, just to keep any shirt fibers or dirt out of the cuts.
‘You’re right to go, Mr. Iero.’ He smiled. Donna signed the release forms. Mikey had brought some of my clothes so I got changed out of the stupid hospital gown. I was careful not bump my stomach as I pulled a loose shirt on. I met everyone in the hallway and Gerard carried me to his car. I didn’t mind.
‘Gerard, you take care of him, you hear? I’ll gladly beat your arse if I find he’s been hurt again.’ Donna said, pointing at Gerard as she glared. He’d already sat me in the passenger seat.
‘Yes, ma’am.’ He said, saluting her. I giggled in my seat. Gerard got in the driver’s seat, waving to his family.
It wasn’t that long a drive to the apartment though it felt like forever with the silence. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I’d never been awkward around Gerard. I’d already forgiven him but I didn’t know what the problem was.
Gerard parked in the space designated for my apartment. He turned to me, taking my hand that rested on the consol.
‘We have to talk about this.’ He said, squeezing my hand. I nodded, staring at me shoes.
‘I know.’ I jumped out of the car, walking towards the front door. I slid my hands in my jean pockets. I really had lost a lot of weight. Those jeans had been sort of tight on me before Gerard left.
I climbed the stairs to my apartment, opening the door. It wasn’t locked but I wasn’t all that concerned. I looked around, actually appreciating what I had. It wasn’t much but it was mine.
Gerard came through the door, closing and locking it behind him. I was still standing in the lounge room doorway, taking everything in. He dropped my bag on the floor, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. He hooked his chin over my shoulder, resting against me.
‘Are you ready to talk?’ He asked, his hands making circles on my lower stomach. I nodded slowly, breaking from my stares.
We sat on the couch. Gerard was half laying with his back on the arm while I rested between his legs, my head resting on his shoulder.
‘Why’d you do it?’ I whispered, playing feebly with a loose thread that was on my shirt.
‘I wanted to help you as much as I could… but that wasn’t enough for me. I just wanted you to be happy, baby.’ He said, slowly twirling his fingers through my hair. I nodded, unsure of what to say.
‘Are you mad at me?’ He asked.
‘No.’ I stated simply. I wasn’t mad, just unsure.
‘Don’t lie to me, Frank. Usually you have something to say.’ He begged. I slowly lifted myself off him, only to turn around and lean down, my face inches from his.
‘That’s just it. I don’t have anything to say. I don’t know what to say. I know that I love you, I know that what you did was stupid but I also know that you were trying to help. I could never stay mad at you, Gerard. You’re all I have and I’m not letting you go.’ I whispered, touching his face gently.
‘I don’t want you to let me go.’ He whispered, slowly pecking my lips. I grinned, leaning into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, crushing my body against his. I ignored the pains in my chest, just focusing on Gerard.
‘Mmm… Stop.’ He mumbled against my lips. I gave him one last long hard kiss before pushing myself up.
‘I’m gonna have a shower… Wanna join me?’ I winked, still leaning over him.
‘You’re hurt, Frankie. I don’t want to cause you pain.’ He said, frowning up at me.
‘Fine. But it’s your loss.’ I giggled, getting off the couch. I skipped down the hallway and turned into the bathroom. I turned the taps to the shower on, letting the water warm up. While I undressed, I remembered something. I grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped It around my waist. I ran out to the lounge room, diving on top of Gerard. He jumped, hitting his head on the arm of the couch.
‘Thought I’d tell you, I found a used condom under the bed… It’s yours.’ I giggled, jumping off his again. As I walked away, he grabbed the top of the towel, pulling me back.
‘How do you know it’s mine?’ He asked, lifting his eyebrows.
‘It’s pink.’ I whispered in his ear, licking the shell before running back to the shower. I could hear Gerard laughing. The man loved his pink condoms.