three. sir hubert says hello. sort of.

[damesuccubus]

[HEY BARGE. IT'S SIR HUBERT DE VILERS, PETRONILLA'S LOVING FATHER-IN-LAW. He's managed to turn on the camera, but he doesn't really know how to use it, and so for a good minute or two he's staring into it like it's a mirror.]

Damned thing. [He pats down his wild greying hair and beard, still peering into the screen.] Gilbert would know how to use

Comments

[flashy_magic]

And what is wrong with women speaking?

[damesuccubus]

It's not right! Women should listen to the men! Be seen and not heard! And even then they should be seen as little as possible, because how can a man BE A MAN if his woman is always following him around?

[flashy_magic]

We'd likely listen a lot more if they had something worthwhile to say! A man can be a man just fine in any setting if he truly is a man at all. Look at Morgana le Fay, the greatest woman there ever was. She certainly wasn't silent and unseen.

[damesuccubus]

[Snort.] If she's so great, how come I've never heard of her?

[rass_bestie]

[Amused.] Clearly. [Thinking is quite obviously not this man's forté.]

[damesuccubus]

[BY JOVE, she's got it!]

Clearly WHAT? [He's eyeing you, lady.]

[rass_bestie]

Best leave the thinking to the experts, my dear.

[damesuccubus]

AGREED. Leave it to the lawyers and the scribblers!

HALLO MRS. SEXBY

[damesuccubus]

[.........oh, hello, miss lady ma'am. Sir Hubert does a double-take.]

And WHO are YOU to dispute the words of Sir Hubert de Vilers, a very FAMOUS AND WELL-REGARDED KNIGHT, hmn?

[damesuccubus]

[Oh, this lady bewilders him.]

God? Why would I want to know God? He's too busy to care about the likes of me or my pathetic sons, as much as Gilbert liked to argue against it.

AND THEN A WILD HARLOT APPEARED.

[takencareofyou]

[she stares at him] brother, you are one loud motherfucker.

[damesuccubus]

[What is this word. ...motherfucker. Well, that's kind of appalling.]

An appropriate level of loudness for a MAN.

Dracula's the first dude to speak up? Really?

[feels_no_love]

Sir, I agree with the ladies. You happen to be insulting my favorite gender.

[He can fake deep indignation pretty damn well, especially if it's for posterity.]

And what has Lady Petronilla done that you say such things about her? I cannot imagine that she truly deserves such contempt. I suspect the true problem is that you bear contempt for everyone, especially women.

[Thinking: That's right, give me some tantalizing information while I'm pretending to be chivalrous...]

hooray? kinda?

[damesuccubus]

INSULTING? No, no, I am not INSULTING them. It's how things should be. Ladies should be silent and obedient. Only whores and peasants speak their minds!

[Duh. And now on to more important matters-]

WHAT HAS THAT MADWOMAN DONE?! WHAT HAS SHE DONE! [oh boy, a rage approaches...] NEARLY RUINED THE DE VILERS NAME, THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DONE!

XD

[feels_no_love]

[Dracula sits back, frowning, and then for a moment speaks honestly and from very recent experience.]

Do you know what happens when you don't let them speak? Things go wrong that men are apparently too stupid to notice on our own. Next thing you know, she does start talking. She talks, and she talks, and by the time she's done you realize that the gist of it is that she's going away. That you have driven her away.

But I suppose you're a bit simple minded for such an explanation. No matter. Suffice it to say that I do not agree with you. Some women I would gladly listen to for hours.

Yes, what has she done? Clearly you need a chance to air your feelings on the matter, but...how could she possibly be that bad?

[damesuccubus]

Simple-minded. Hmn. You'd look down on anyone, even a Duke or King. I'm not so simple that I don't know that any woman needing to talk that badly wouldn't make a fine bride or lady anyway! If you drive them away, THEN SO BE IT! They were too weak or too mad to know how to behave anyway!

[Sir Hubert frowns.] I'm not telling a stranger. Go and charm SOMEBODY ELSE.