Dametyler's Cure for Writers Block
"Rose, something's wrong," he told her seriously, as he briskly walked up to her and gripped her shoulders. "I think I've been infected by a Icksaran parasite."
Rose's eyes widened. "Oh my Gawd! What is it? What can we do? Is it contagious?" she asked, examining his head and face.
"Contagious? Oh , no, no, no! It's inside of me and has attached itself to the neocortex and thalamus in my brain. I just, just can't figure out how it got on Earth. They live in the Yotho Nebulae over a thousand light years away not to mention their planet doesn't even form for ohhhhh maybe five thousand years from now. Rose stopped her worrying as she realized he might be over reacting.
"Doctor, why do you think you have this Icky saran wrap thing?"
"Icksaran, Rose. Cos, it attaches to the neocortex and thalamus which are the parts of my frankly magnificent brain that are the imagination centers for my creative brilliance. When it does that, it disables that ability rendering it's victim a boring, unimaginative, dull well,..." He floundered for the word and twisted his face up in in contemplation of the right word.
"Doctor, you tellin’ me you think you have a parasite 'cos you've lost your creativity? I mean, seems like your imagination is just fine to me," Rose said, now knowing that her beloved had once again made the leap of blaming some everyday human occurrence on some alien phenomena.
"Rose, I know it. I sat down to write something brilliant and I..... Well, I couldn’t'. I stared at the laptop and I couldn't come up with one thing to write. Me! Nothing to write! It's unheard of! An Outrage! I'm brilliant and I couldn't think of one creative thing to write! It's a parasite in my brain."
Rose smiled and grabbed his hand and pulled him down on the couch near the laptop with the flying banana screensaver. He plunked down next to her, shoulders hunched in defeat. She patted him on the back. "It's all right Doctor and you don't have a parasite. You’re just a bit blocked. All writers go through this. Your muse just needs a bit of kip is all."
He looked up at her. "What? What do you mean my muse needs a kip?"
Rose squeezed his hand. "Lots of writers need a break. Go take a walk or look at some pictures, watch a film or somethin. You just need a bit of a break and a little inspiration."
The Doctor huffed. "Still think it's a parasite. I've never lacked for inspiration. I mean look at us!"
“There, there Doctor, I know it's hard to think about us bein' us and all, but it happens sometimes. Tell you what, you go take a walk. When you get home, I'll have a surprise that'll get your muse all inspired."
He perked up. "Really? Tell me!"
"Nope," she said, shaking her head. "It's a surprise. Now go on. Off with you. Go get inspired outside and try not to blow anything up this time."
He pouted. "But that takes the fun out of it and besides, when's the last time I blew up something on a walk?"
"Um, a week ago when you saw the trash bin jiggling behind the Red Horse pub and thought it was the Nestene Consciousness invading," she reminded him.
He tugged on his ear. "Oh that. Well, that was understandable. I mean, who wouldn't think that when a plastic trash bin starts moving around so aggressively."
"It was a cat Doctor and you blew it onto the roof. It was Mrs. Driscoll’s cat and her husband had to climb up and try and catch the poor thing and it was still smokin’ a bit. She wasn't pleased. It smelled like burnt cat hair for over a week."
"Oi! Better the scent of burnt cat hair than livin’ plastic takin’ over the world!" he defended.
Rose quickly pushed him out the door with a promise to "be good." while he was out, she pulled out something she had been saving for a special occasion. She thought this would be the perfect time. She giggled as she looked at the leather bikini held together with a few leather straps and brass rings and did her hair up in braids. She admired herself in the mirror and thought she could give Princess Leia a run for it. She set the sound system to play some star wars music, arranged some mood lighting and lounged provocatively on the bed with a few other "toys" she had collected. She called the Doctor on his mobile which he of course ignored. By the tenth time she rang him, she was annoyed and losing the desire to be his Tatooine slave girl.
When she reached him, he was of course in the middle of some adventure he’d just run into by accident. She then listened to a ten minute rambling explanation how he innocently went to Tescos for bananas and ended up helping rescue several rabbits from experimentation by a mad scientist. Of course, the mad scientist by some odd coincidence had a lab in his basement and was working on a way to hijack all the television signals in London so that they played a nonstop marathon of Twilight Zone. Apparently, his dastardly plan was to repetitively play Twilight Zone episodes until the government passed a law naming coffee as the national hot beverage. Once the Doctor took a breath, she congratulated him on foiling the evil plot and asked him to come home for his surprise.
He bounded in the house that evening munching on a banana and calling out “Roooose!” He put down his half eaten banana and made his way around the house until finally he walked up stairs. His jaw dropped when he entered the bedroom.
“Hello my Master Jedi. Care to give a slave girl from Tatooine a lesson in the Force?” Rose asked, in a sultry voice as she lounged in a wanton pose.
“Ohhhh yeesss!” he replied, as he toed off his trainers and yanked off his jacket which he tossed carelessly to the side and began prowling toward her with a dark, hot look in his eyes.
“So tell me my Tatooine Temptress, are you ready for the power of the Force? It can be a bit overwhelming,” he said, crawling onto the bed until he was next to her.
She smiled seductively at him. “Hmmmm is it? Maybe I am. I hear Jedis have very impressive uh minds,” she said, as she unbuttoned his dress shirt and peeled it off him. He pulled his undershirt off and tossed it as well. He leaned over her so that she was reclining on the bed while he gently traced the leather brazier with its shiny brass rings.
“Well, you know, a Jedi feels the Force flowing throw him,” he whispered in her ear, nibbling a bit. “It surrounds all of us so it’s just a matter of focus,” he explained, as he kissed his way down her neck, paying particular attention to her clavicle.
She ran her fingers through his hair and moaned slightly. “So that must mean you can make things happen to anything or anyone, yeah?” she said throatily. He had now worked his way down to her navel and was drawing symbols on her abdomen with his tongue.
He looked up and smirked at her. “Oh yes. You see my little leather clad siren, you must never underestimate the power of the force.” He reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out the sonic which he waved about until her leather bikini popped and she was laid bare. He tossed the sonic off to the side.
“Isn’t that cheatin’?” she asked, grinning that grin that showed just a bit of tongue. She reached for the waistband on his trouser and quite expertly had them unclasped and unzipped.
“Jedi’s don’t cheat. We’re clever and use all the tools at our disposal like light sabers. I just happened to have something even more brilliant than a light saber. I mean a sonic screwdriver will beat a light saber any day…” he started to ramble, before Rose recaptured his attention by reaching into his trousers and caressing his rather impressive Jedi bits.
She paused and looked up at him, as she began kissing his navel and working her way down his body. “So, you were saying the Force flows through you. Maybe it’ll flow through you into me tonight.” With a suggestive look, she then proceeded to show him how much the Force would flow by sucking, licking and kissing said impressive Jedi bits. Humming in satisfaction, she set a rhythm as she moved up and down tantalizing him with her voluptuous lips and flicking him with her tongue until he groaned and grabbed her hair and pulled her head up.
“Jedis like to be control of any flowing of the Force” he groaned, as he quickly divested himself of his trousers. Rose stared pointedly at his socks. “What? Jedis like to shag their tempting Tatooine slave girl wearin’ socks?” she asked, teasing him. He rolled his eyes and the socks were quickly removed. He then pounced on her eliciting giggles from his naked Star Wars seductress. The sonic rolled over and hit her on the arm. He reached down and flicked a setting and set it on the table next to the bed.
“What’s that all ‘bout?” Rose asked, as he leaned down to trail kisses down her body to reciprocate her oral fixation of his Jedi bits, “Oh nothing. Just keeping notes for you know, posterity, naughty Jedi journals, you know,” he said waving his hand before trailing it down her thigh.
Rose grinned. “Yeah? So Master Jedi… um, speaking of that, you got a name? I mean Darth Vader was all dark and powerful and everyone called him Lord Vader. So what should I be screaming out after you use your sexy Jedi mind tricks on me?”
The Doctor smirked and cocked an eyebrow. “Why Lord Storm of course,” he said, waggled his eyebrows and continued on with his Jedi journey exploring the hidden realms of his sexy slave girl with his most dexterous tongue which when combined with his mastery of the force, brought her to new mind blowing levels of ecstasy. The night was filled with much passion as their bodies entwined, moving together in sync and they enjoyed his mysterious Jedi sexing skills.
The next morning, Rose rolled over to find her Jedi lover madly tapping away at his laptop. “So, guess the parasite’s gone then?” she asked grinning at him. He looked over at her smiling and said, “Didn’t I mention? Mind blowing Jedi sexing is the cure for this particular parasite.” He then went back to his newest Lordstorm work, most coincidentally a crossover story between his dashing traveler and the Star Wars verse while a very satisfied Tatooine slave girl shifted over to give him pointers on writing about Jedi mind sex.