Application
Basics
1. Name, nicknames, what you’d like to be called: James, but my friends call me Jim, Jimmy, or Jimmmmmayy (hand motion)
2. Age, birthday: 18, Monday, March 2nd 1987, at 10:42 AM
3. What color is your aura? Green
4. Describe yourself in meteorlogical terms, i.e. "Partly sunny with a chance of rain." Scattered showers with a chance of thunder in the morning, high-speed winds in the afternoon with a calm, mild evening.
Favourites
5. Five favourite/personally important songs, movies and books and why you chose them
The Emperor's Theme (song), from Return of the Jedi. I love Emperor Palpatine, he's the perfect evil mastermind. He never actually lies throughout the entire course of the Star Wars saga. His theme's got a nice ominous tone to it that just appeals to me.
Pink Floyd's The Wall (film). My first girlfriend showed me this movie, and afterwards I adored Pink Floyd. I love the whole thing, but my favorite parts are the animation sequences, especially the marching hammers and The Trial.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (film). My first exposure to MST3K was their feature film, which is really not that much different from the television show. There's just something fun about sitting back, watching old movies, and providing a running commentary.
The Left Behind series (books). Christian Fiction about the end times. Very interesting interpretation of the Book of Revelation, plus it's packed with action and excellent and memorable characters.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (novelization by Matthew Stover). I adore Star Wars, and this is by far one of the best installments in the saga. I liked reading the book more than watching the film, as it went into greater detail on character development and what was really going through their minds at critical points in the story.
6. Five hobbies: Computer Programming, Hacking (not the malicious kind, that's called 'Cracking'), collecting soda tabs, going exploring in general, and reading/writing humorous literature.
7. Favorite crayola color Grass Green, I think there was one such Crayola color
8. What's on your favorite T-shirt? Emperor Palpatine's smug mug.
9. Which is your favourite Disney Princess? Belle from Beauty and the Beast. She's the brainy type of girl.
10. What is your favorite poem and/or poet of all time? Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den. The entire poem consists of the sound shi in different tones when read in Mandarin.
11. What was your favorite television show as a child? Bill Nye the Science Guy
12. Who is your favorite artist (painter, sculptor, etc)? Actually, my friend Luke is my favorite artist.
Random Questions
13. What do you want your tombstone to say?: He left this world as he came; naked and screaming.
14. One interesting fact about you: At the time of this writing I wasn't wearing any pants!
15. Tell us some of your favorite arbitrary (some might say “random”) items: RAM modules, a porcelain insulator from a utility pole, a traffic cone I stole one night while driving home, old printed circuit boards, and a collection of soda tabs.
16. What is the one thing you can't take someone criticizing about you? My lack of interest in politics. There's more to life than worrying about who's messing up which country.
17. What are you shy about?/What topics do you consider "off-limits" in a conversation? Anything that can be expressed with your vocabulary is fair game for a conversation topic.
18. Tell us a joke. Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
19. What do you think about: Karl Rove (and why Bush still hasn’t kicked him out of office)? Who the hell is Karl Rove? And why should I know or care for that matter?
20. What do you think the word "tzusuj" would mean? A tsunami sword slash.
21. Choose one:
a.) If you had the blood of 13 virgins, what would you do with it? Threaten to give people AIDS with it! (virgins can be born with AIDS)
b.) If you had the blood of 13 virgins, how do you think you got it?
22. Choose one:
a.) Why is a raven like a writing desk?
b.) What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? What do you mean? African or European?
23. Choose one: Pick four people (celebrities, fictional character, whatever) that you'd invite to
a.) a dinner party and what food would you serve (describe in course detail)
b.) A cocktail party and what mini foods would you serve
c.) A lightswitch rave? Emperor Palpatine, Kefka of Final Fantasy VI, Yuri of Red Alert 2, and the Beast viral entity from Homeword Cataclysm.
And explain why you chose the aforementioned people. Villainous characters are genetically drawn to lightswitch raves and construction sites. Emperor Palpatine would entertain us with the grooviness of the Star Wars Gangsta Rap, Kefka would jump around firing off spells and just acting insane, Yuri would then Mind-Control one of the previous two and pit them against each other in battle, and finally the Beast viral entity would just kill all of them and incorporate their biomass into a giant nervous system to act as the DJ for subsequent lightswitch raves.
24. If we hate you and end up ripping you a new asshole, how will you handle this? Anger? Sadness? Indifference? What? Please explain. It probably won't bother me. I'm just doing this for fun.
25. The pope, the leader of your country and you are in a plane. The pilot and co pilot tell you the plane is going down and there are only 4 parachutes. They take two and jump out. What do you do? (Please identify said country leader). I'd take one parachute for myself and hand the other to the pope, shake Bush's hand and tell him Palpatine would be proud of his attempts to gain more executive powers.
26. Animals in people clothes Yes/No. Please explain your answer. Nope. There aren't enough clothes for most of the people in the world anyways, so why give some to the animals? They don't need it.
27. A train leaves New York for London at a speed of 45 miles per hour. London is 3,470 miles away and at the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Do you believe anyone dumb enough to board this train deserves to drown? Of course not! It's a magical train!
28. Who's hotter Charles Darwin or Jesus H. Christ? Jesus H. Christ is definitely the hottest, not to mention the most well-endowed of the two.
29. If you were stuck in a windowless, white room for a whole day with no means of occupying yourself, what would you do to keep busy? Run around the perimeter of it and sing every short song I knew until I exhausted my air supply and passed out from carbon dioxide posioning.
30. So, the Earth is going to be destroyed next week. What city would you absolutely have to see before it boiled into space? London. I cannot leave this world without having worn a bearskin hat and played the bagpipes!
31. Would you ever join the Italian Mafia? What about the Russian one? I'd never handle killing. Plus I can't intimidate people for beans, so no to both.
32. If you could run away and join the circus, what would you do there and why? Starve myself and become one of the freaks! I'm already deadly thin!
33. Which muppet you would be and why Animal. He plays the drums and thrashes everything.
34. What languages do you know? And why? English, natively. French I learned in high school. I also know the overused l33t "language."
35. What piece of literature do you absolutely want to douse with gasoline, gleefully burn, and then scatter the ashes the crossroads? Most fanfics, because they're written by people who should be forbidden from getting within 2 meters of a keyboard.
36. If you are intending on having children, what would you name your children? / If you already have them, what are their names? / If you don't intend on having children, please explain why. My daughter would be Jenova Lilith _lastname_, and my son would be Vincent Drake _lastname_.
37. Fill in the blank:
A good roommate should never _____. Pee on the carpet.
What is a BETTER ending to these cliches?:
A watched pot never ____. fails to detonate violently without warning.
Always look on the ____. floor for loose change and dropped candies.
38. What's your deepest, darkest sexual secret? Probably my (fantasy-only) incest fetish.
39. Pick any of the following items and explain your choice: a red christmas tree, a rotten turkey, or a bag of candy that tasted like sand. A bag of candy that tasted like sand. Sand doesn't really have a taste, persay. The most unpleasant part about eating sand is the gritty texture and how if feels when crunched between your pearly whites. I'd give it out to children on Halloween.
40. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SAY SOMETHING INTERESTING: A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants!
41. Your photo here:
I'm on the right with the goofy smile. (The one on the left is Luke, making his trademark Face.)
42. a.) (choose one of the following)
i.) A picture/photo of anything else:
ii.) Draw a self-portrait using only MSpaint (or a similar program).
A self-portrait I made for my art class two years ago, done in Marcomedia Flash for its excellent vector imaging capabilities.
b.) Blank space. (Post something random. A picture, a link, whatever, to make us laugh and keep us amused. Or if you’re stuck, five websites that you go to regularly (excepting email servers, Livejournal.com and search engines)
Techno Moose -- An improvisational comedy group my friends and I formed many years ago. (I haven't gotten around to converting the WAVs to OGGs, but they're on average about 1.5 MB and I'd say worth listening to).
A single Flash animation my friends and I made out of one of our Techno Moose recordings. I voiced the Narrator.